I climb from the bed feeling cold and stand at the closet, contemplating what is clean and wearable. Allison's things hand pristinely on the other side, contradicted by my piles – one clean, one dirty. I pull some pyjama pants and an already-worn sweatshirt from the pile and put them on as I beeline back to the bed. Allison is propped up against the pillows watching me, her eyes sad.

"You're losing weight."

I nod. I find it impossible to eat when I'm upset or worried, and lately I am both. "Yeah" I whisper, pulling the covers over me and snuggling up to her. She wiggles down beside me and wraps me in her arms.

"I'm worried, Remy." Her voice is close to my ear.

"I'm scared." I admit. Things aren't bad yet. Still just little twitches. But I'm afraid of dying, even more so at the mercy of this disease. The fear alone is killing me, or so it feels. Allison doesn't reply, but her breathing tells me she is still awake an hour later as I finally drift off.

"We should go away for a while" Allison comments lightly the next morning as she makes coffee. "Take some time."

Escaping the day to day rush of the hospital and care of the sick seems like a logical idea. I play along. "To where?" I question, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Somewhere warm." Allison takes a sip of coffee and pushes a mug towards me, which I take gratefully. She turns in my arms and I see the deep purple under her eyes, like bruises.

"What time did you get to sleep?" I question, feeling guilty. She shrugs and looks away. I suspect that means she didn't. I leave the subject alone and return to the idea of a trip.

I see her later, leaving Wilson's office with puffy eyes and I go in once she's out of sight. "How is she?" I ask softly from just inside the door. Wilson looks up, surprised.

"Remy!" He recovers quickly. "Come and sit down." His eyes appraise me. I sit, self-conscious as he offers me tea.

"How is she?" I ask again once we are both drinking the warm liquid, mine laden with milk and sugar. "She tries so hard to be strong around me."

Wilson sighs and puts down his tea. "Allison is….exhausted." he admits eventually. "She's afraid she's not doing the right things to help, and she's getting more worried as you lose weight."

I nod, stirring my tea absently. "I'm destroying her." I murmur.

"No!" Wilson contradicts me vehemently. "She's happy with you, just worried. You both need a break." He smiles. "I think going away for a while is a great idea."

"Somewhere warm" I agree, still distant. My mind is on Allison.

I arrive home armed with travel pamphlets for every country under the sun that has a warm climate and curry. Allison smiles as she sees my cargo. We flip through them as I try and get through my share. I don't get too far before anxiety bubbles up and makes me feel ill. I start tearing off pieces of naan bread, trying to at least choke them down.

We decide on Bali.