Jade is quiet through the rest of breakfast, but she does eat. When it's over, she gets up. "I'm going to go check out the town. Want to come with me, Artemis?"
"I want to stay with Daddy."
Something flashes in Jade's eyes at those words, but she shrugs and picks up her jacket. "Suit yourself, kiddo."
He wants to forbid her to go because he's afraid to let her out of his sight. Afraid that something—anything- could happen to her if he's not there to keep an eye on her. Afraid that she won't come back …
But no. She won't leave Artemis. He has to believe that.
And he has to give her trust if he wants it in return.
"Jade?"
She looks at him, ready for a fight.
"Try to be back before dark, okay?"
She shrugs again. "Whatever. Keep Daddy Dearest out of trouble, kiddo. I'll be back."
There's an uncomfortable silence after she leaves that Artemis finally breaks. "Let's do the dishes, Daddy. I'll help you."
They wash the dishes and Artemis tells him about her last school. She talks about much she likes science and hates English. She talks about the girls who were her friends and the ones that she didn't like. She talks about how she really wants to have a puppy or kitten someday.
And he's amazed at how chatty his daughter is when she isn't scared to death of him. He's astonished that his baby girl he remembers so clearly tottering around on toddler legs is now such a bright and animated child—she seems so alive and happy. She has such simple but beautiful dreams.
And he wonders if Paula had seen this side of her daughter.
"Artemis," he says when they've dried the dishes and put them away, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Her answer chills him.
"I want to be like you, Daddy."
Blood on his baby girl's hands …
"No!" he screams.
And Artemis flinches back from him in fear.
"Artemis!" He hugs her stiff, frightened little body to him. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm so sorry …"
He's sorry for everything. Sorry for all the ways that he's failed her. Failed Jade. Sorry that he doesn't know how to keep from terrifying his daughter.
And he's crying … crying because he's let her down … let Paula down ... again.
Her little hands go around his neck. "It's okay, Daddy. It's okay …"
They hold each other for a long time before he finally finds words again. "I mean … what do you want to do with your life? You can be anything you want, baby. You can be a doctor or a teacher or a scientist or anything. What do you think would make you happy?"
She shrugs, and he's aware that she's thinking harder than any little girl should ever have to about this. "I just want to be with you and Jade. I even have a name and outfit picked out. Do you want to see it?"
"Sure, baby."
She dashes back to her room and comes back with a picture that she's oh so carefully drawn and colored.
They're all there in the picture: Paula, Jade, Artemis and himself.
Paula is in her Huntress outfit and Jade is in a black and green outfit wearing the cat's mask her mother had given her. Jade is standing beside Paula, and Paula is standing beside him. He's also in his working clothes, and beside him is a little blonde girl in an outfit just like his, but her outfit is striped, and she is wearing cat ears as well as a hockey mask.
There's a full moon in the sky and they're on a rooftop.
"Mom said I was always going to be her little tiger cub, so that's what I thought I'd call myself."
"Tiger Cub?"
"No, silly. Tiger." She frowns. "Or maybe Tigress …"
"It's a beautiful picture, baby."
And in a way, it is. It's a picture of his family. For a moment, he almost allows himself to wonder it would be like to be living the Life with his girls, facing down the Capes with his daughters at his side …
They could be great. He knows that.
But that way … that way is bloody. And it ends in death.
Death on a rooftop.
Blood on his hands. He's had bloody hands before—more times than he can count. But this blood is different. This blood horrifies him. This blood is Paula's…
Not again. Never again. He could not live through it again—could not bear to have Jade's blood on his hands … or Artemis's …
Never again.
"Artemis, it's a beautiful picture. And you would make an incredible Tigress or even a Tiger Cub." He wants to say this in a way that doesn't frighten her. "But … I don't want you and Jade to follow me or your mother into the Life."
"But you always said we would…"
"I know, baby girl. I know. But … I was wrong." His father must be rolling over in his grave right now. The old man would never admit to being wrong. Would have beaten him bloody for saying those words. "The Life … it's not good. I don't want that for you or your sister. I want you to have something better."
"I don't understand, Daddy."
"I know, baby. I didn't understand either. And I didn't until it was too late for your mother—"
"But, Daddy … if we aren't going to be in The Life… what are we going to do?"
The answer hurts him as it has since he made his promise to Paula. "I don't know, baby girl. I don't know …"
