Usually I put author notes regarding events in the story at the end of the chapter, but since this happens right at the very beginning, I just want to say that Breda, while appearing lazy and just slightly gluttonous (in this story anyway), is a very organized, disciplined person. The point of this is that he has an unusually violent reaction to fidgeting. Especially the kind that catches your eye and distracts you to no end. Thus his reaction to Ed's rolling around.
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He had a bad feeling. He didn't want to trust Ed until this storm had calmed. Especially if the boy refused to even try to help in the office.
Ed rolled around some more on the couch as Roy retreated back into his own office. As soon as the door was shut, Breda turned on Ed.
"Stop rolling around like some poisoned animal or so help me God, I'm going to go over there and teach you a lesson."
Ed's mouth fell open a bit and he stared at Breda with a very young, childish expression on his face before suddenly going into a flurry of rolling action. He looked like a dog rolling in horse shit, as Jean would have put it.
Breda jumped up and raced toward the couch and Ed sprang to his feet. Falman watched passively as Breda chased Ed back and forth across the room, Ed rolling and somersaulting past Breda's legs every time he got to the wall on either side of the room. Unfortunately for Ed, he was no longer dealing with Jean, who would've just chased him back and forth until he caught Ed, or Roy who would've yelled and scolded Ed to a stand-still. Breda was smarter than to let Ed's youth and physical prowess give him an advantage, or to let Ed provoke him to yelling. Once he figured out that all Ed was going to do was run back and forth, he waited for Ed to try to roll again and then knelt down, bodily stopping in Ed mid-roll. Ed was shocked to have been caught this way, and jumped to try to run away again. Breda grabbed Ed around the neck as Falman continued to watch silently.
"You think it's funny to piss me off?" Breda growled into Ed's ear. Ed bit the inside of his lip, sensing inevitable admonishment in his immediate future.
"Well?"
Roy had certainly tried his hand at teaching Ed to defer to his elders, but Edward was not an easy case. He had terrible impulse control.
"Yeah. Pretty much," the child prodigy grinned back. For all his confidence and apparent lack of fear, however, Edward did not have any kind of escape plan. He wiggled and pried at Breda's arms and that was about it. Breda made a strange little disgusted noise and began twisting Ed's ear. Ed made a face, but refused to whimper or look sorry as he would've done had Roy been the one twisting his ear. This was Breda and he was less forgiving than Roy. Ed also suspected that Breda had a prejudice against teenagers, but that could have just been personal experience talking.
"Yes? You like to annoy me? Do you like this?" Breda pinched Ed's ear with his fingernail and twisted it harder and Ed was suddenly nervous. He had a feeling he'd dug himself a deeper hole than he'd meant to.
"Well? Are you proud of yourself?"
Ed gave a tiny shake of his head. It further aggravated the nerves in his ear and he decided it was time to resort to alchemy. He clapped his hands and the quick motion got Heyman's attention. He grabbed Ed's left hand, letting go of the boy's ear, and held it up.
"Don't." He glared at Ed until the boy gave a little, fearful, nod. Breda continued to stare at him for a moment, then suddenly dropped Ed's hand and grabbed his ear again, pinching and twisting as hard as he could.
Ed stumbled into the Second Lieutenant, stepping all over his feet in an attempt to relieve some of the pain.
"Cut it out!"
Breda ignored the young alchemist's outburst and continued tormenting him, releasing his anger in the best way he knew how. Ed whimpered and grabbed onto Breda's jacket with both hands. Falman stood up just in case he needed to intervene.
"No, stop it," Ed cried softly.
"Are you going to stop rolling around and fidgeting incessantly?"
"Yes," Ed whimpered, standing perfectly still with both eyes squeezed shut. As soon as he was released, Ed stalked off to the bathroom to see what his ear looked like.
Falman let out a little chuckle and Breda gave him and indignant, self-righteous look.
"You know I can't stand fidgeting."
"I know you can't. But now you've either scared or alienated Edward. Good job."
Heymans smiled ruefully. "You're right, I'm sure."
When Ed came back, he challenged Breda to a game of chess. The suspicious redhead agreed. Falman went to fetch Roy and the two returned just in time to see Breda reaching across the table to rub Ed's head while laughing heartily. Ed looked angry, but in a way that said 'I-know-I'll-look-stupid-if-I-scream-maybe-this-idiot-will-just-go-away-if-I-ignore-him'.
"You can't challenge me if you don't even know how to play!"
"I do know how to play!" Ed shook his head furiously to dislodge Breda's big, meaty hand.
"Then set up your pieces," Breda said calmly. Ed turned raw-meat red and glared a thousand daggers at Breda.
"Ugh, Ed! I knew your upbringing was lacking but..." Roy commented. He'd meant it to be a joke, only realizing how bad his timing was when Ed jumped to his feet and yelled, "You bastard!"
"Wait, Ed, I didn't mean it, I was only joking. Calm down," Roy pleaded.
"So you think my childhood is a joke," Ed snarled.
"What- No, Ed!"
"No, really, compared to yours, it is, isn't it? I bet you even had a normal family and everything, huh? Well, until you killed your brother anyway, but you were old then, weren't you?" Ed eyed Roy, who was trembling with rage.
"I took you in," Roy gasped, his respiratory functions impeded by the force of his own anger. "I watched out for you, I took care of you, I hugged you when you cried, I dealt with you when no one else would, I put up with you up until now, when even your brother couldn't. But every single time something happens that you have no control over, you lash out at me." As Roy's words sank in, Ed started to look frightened.
"So I'm going to give you a little warning, Ed. If you don't calm down and learn to control yourself, you're going to have to find someone else to put up with you. And believe me, it won't be easy." Roy stalked out the door, slamming it behind himself and leaving Ed to stand, frozen with shock, in the middle of the room and leaving Breda and Falman to stare at Ed. After several uncomfortable moments, Ed walked into Roy's office and shut the door behind himself. Breda and Falman exchanged silent glances before sitting down and beginning to doodle on the edges of some paperwork.
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Roy caught up to Hawkeye, Fuery and Havoc fairly quickly by military car. Pulling on his gloves and ignoring the confused expressions on his subordinates' faces, Roy joined them on their "city inspection", forgetting how closely General Hakuro had promised to watch him and also how suspicious it looked to storm out of your office in the middle of the workday to rendezvous with his subordinates who were out on a private mission.
"Sir, did something happen?" Riza finally asked as the group made their way up Jirkin street.
"I got tired of putting up with FullMetal."
Riza and Jean exchanged worried glances. Roy just kept moving.
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Ed was in the process of crying himself to sleep on Roy's couch. He wasn't just devastated by Roy's threats of abandonment, he was also bored and emotionally worn out from recent events. So he was crying himself to sleep. He didn't know whether Breda and Falman could hear him in the adjacent office or not.
Ed was rudely interrupted just as he was beginning to calm down, by General Hakuro. The gray-haired, notch-eared man opened the door very slowly and quietly, but Ed was very much aware of the intrusion. At first, he didn't know what to do. He was tired and red-faced and, for all he knew, the intruder was just bringing in coffee or a report of some kind. Or maybe he'd even made an appointment and Roy had forgotten about it in his anger.
Ed lay very still, listening. By the time the intruder had shut the door behind himself, Ed was sure the intruder didn't want to be caught. He or she was being too careful and too quiet.
Hakuro walked right past Ed and started pawing through the papers on Roy's desk. Ed frowned. Hakuro grunted. He moved to open the top drawer of Colonel Mustang's desk. Ed sat up a little more. He knew Hakuro shouldn't be in there, but the geezer outranked him...
Ed transmuted a huge sack/tarp from the couch and sent it flying at the General. Unfortunately, Roy's desk in between them was the one that got covered by the sack. Hakuro, scared shitless, stood staring at the little thwarted alchemist. After a moment, his brain began to function again.
"Major Elric-"
"Shut up. Get out of the Colonel's drawers," Ed said warily.
"You will not mention this to anyone, understand, FullMetal?"
Ed shook his head. "I won't, but you will." He transmuted a giant hand from the floor and it grabbed the general around the waist, lifting him off the floor.
"Wha-release me, FullMetal Alchemist! That's an order from your superior!"
Ed walked quickly into the adjacent office to find Breda and Falman playing rummy with a deck of cards. Hakuro, not wanting anyone else to find him, had no choice but to stop shouting.
In an unusual show of kindness, Breda patted his knee and asked if Ed wanted to play. The blond, a bit embarrassed by Breda's invitation to sit on his lap, shook his head and said, "General Hakuro snuck into the Colonel's office so I caught him... with alchemy."
Breda and Falman jumped to their feet and ran past Ed to look into the colonel's office. They both went bug-eyed at the sight of their superior kicking and flailing at a huge hand that was holding him up in the air. Hakuro noticed them and barked, "Release me!"
Both of Roy's subordinates saluted sharply.
"We'll return shortly, Sir," Breda said stiffly. Both men left the room, shutting the door behind them.
"Ed! What did you do?"
"You can see what I did! He snuck in and started going through Roy's paperwork and his drawers and I didn't know what to do!"
"We have to let him go or we'll be court-martialed for sure," Breda lamented. Ed scuffed his foot on the floor and Falman suddenly turned to him.
"Did he order you to release him, Edward?"
Ed nodded. Breda sucked in air through his teeth and whispered, "OK, here's the plan. Falman and I bring you back in there, you release him and play dumb, OK? Say you were asleep and you woke up and got scared and you weren't thinking."
Ed tried to shake his head, wanting to explain that he didn't think Hakuro would fall for that, but Breda shushed him.
"Then we tell the Colonel when he gets back. As long as the General doesn't take any of the colonel's papers, everything should be OK until he gets back."
"OK," Falman agreed. Before Ed could protest anymore, both of his subordinates had a hand on his shoulder and he was being escorted into Roy's office. Ed did his best to look at least bashful, if not guilty.
"We're very sorry, Sir. It seems that FullMetal here was so startled when he woke up that he performed alchemy without thinking." Breda gave Ed a little push toward Hakuro.
"Sorry, Sir," Ed muttered, un-transmuting the giant hand. Hakuro looked very suspicious and wary as he brushed himself off.
"Yes, well, hrmf," he stalled, staring at the three other occupants of the room.
"Just be more careful next time, Elric. And remember my orders."
"Y-yes, Sir."
"Good day to you all." The general saluted and walked out of the office. When he was gone, Breda and Falman turned to Ed.
"Orders?"
"Don't mention this to anyone," Ed answered, all traces of crying gone from his voice, if not his face. Breda noticed the tear tracks, but was trying to ignore them.
"If you're lucky, he won't court-martial you for telling us. And if he doesn't, then he can't court-martial us for telling Mustang."
"We didn't see him searching the colonel's papers, so as long as the colonel doesn't let it slip that he knows Hakuro was in his paperwork, we should all be safe," Falman added.
"For now anyway," Breda grumbled. Then he glanced at Ed. "You're just a trouble magnet, aren't you?"
Ed grinned sheepishly, looking up while keeping his face down.
"Come 'ere." Breda reached out and cupped the back of Ed's head with one hand, wiping Ed's face with the other. Ed protested with little squeaky cries and squeezed his eyes shut, but waited for Heymans to let go before pulling away. He gave Breda a last, appraising glance, and then headed back to Roy's office, ostensibly to guard it. Breda snagged the back of his collar.
"Ah-ah-ah." He shook his head, "You're staying here with us, now."
"Noo," Ed muttered quietly.
"Yes. We're going to lock the colonel's door and then we're going to keep you where we can keep an eye on you."
"I don't need a babysitter," Ed snarled.
"I'm no one's babysitter," Breda growled. "But you are not getting into any more trouble with your superiors today as long as you're under my watch. And with the colonel gone, I'm the highest-ranking member of this crew, so-"
"I outrank you. I'm going back to Roy's office."
"We are both adults," Breda said, referring to himself and Falman. "I'm the highest-ranking adult, so-"
"Age doesn't co-"
"Sit down and shut up," Breda sighed, steering Ed toward the couch.
"No!" Ed yipped, wheeling around to find himself in another headlock, Breda's hand on his ear. Ed froze, frustration plain on his face.
"Do I have to twist your ear again?"
"Leave me alone!"
"Why are you being so uncooperative?"
"Why are you bossing me around?!" Ed's voice was shrill with frustration.
"Ed, you're a teenager. You can't let teenagers run free; they grow up to be irresponsible."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"I'm sure it is," Breda said in a patronizing tone.
"What?"
"Will you please cooperate? Or are you looking for trouble? You didn't drag the General into the Colonel's office, did you? He did go in by himself, right?"
"Of course he did, you bastard! I'm not trying to get Roy in trouble! I want to be alone!! Do you have any idea how mad Roy is? He never snaps at me like that!" Ed's voice was pitiful and squeaky. Breda smacked himself lightly on the forehead.
"Of course!"
Ed glared warily at the man.
"I'm sorry," Breda began. "I should've been more sensitive. I should've realized you were upset about Roy yelling at you."
Ed was sure by now that he was being taunted.
"But I really wish you would stay in here with us. I realize you probably wouldn't get into any more difficult situations if you were by yourself in the Colonel's office, but I would feel much better if you were in here with us. There's a couch in here, too."
Aha. Not taunted. Pacified. Breda was trying to placate him. Ed stared at Heymans for a minute and then said, "Whatever." If Breda thought he would fall for that kind of sweet-talk, he was out of his mind.
Ed leaped for the door. Breda grabbed him by the scruff and hauled him backward.
"That's it. I'm done talking." Breda shoved Ed onto the couch, making Falman very nervous. Ed sprang back up and Breda pushed him back down and sat on him.
"Aagh!" Ed screamed.
"Well if this is what it takes," Breda said. Ed struggled, kicked, flailed, and attempted to transmute for a solid six minutes. Breda just kept his hands apart and kept sitting on him until the boy quieted. Gradually, but at least he settled. He lay, facedown on the couch, panting for breath, Breda still holding his left hand.
"So. How do you feel now?" Breda asked.
"Tired."
"Cooperative?"
Ed shook his head. "Tired."
Breda ground his teeth together and Falman got a little worried.
"You're still not going to cooperate?"
"No."
Breda opened and closed his mouth a few times, then sighed and shook his head in defeat.
"If you're still upset, then I give up," he grumbled and climbed off Ed, heading back to the desk. Ed rolled over and dozed off, much to the hushed surprise of the Second Lieutenant and the Warrant Officer.
"Well what the hell was that all about, then?" Breda hissed across the table to Falman.
"I don't know! Why are you asking me! Maybe he was just waiting for you to back down first. Maybe he's just a sore loser."
Breda watched Ed for a few seconds before looking back at Falman.
"Weird kid."
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Yay! Another chapter, so soon!
Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter, by the way. I have no idea how that chunk got repeated.
So, then.
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