Book Four - Chapter Thirteen: Still Beginning the Beginning

Life on the Black Pearl was running smoothly for everyone but Amelia. She became less animated and took more time to herself than she ever had previously. It was excused as still being trauma.

Barbossa was proving to be a natural captain. He was stricter but he permitted his crew to have more ruthless fun. Now that they had the gold, Barbossa saw to reason to keep them from spending it all.

Weeks of this went by until finally Amelia felt so empty, and ill, that she could not keep her secret any longer. She sought out the person she knew Jack was once able to confide in -Bootstrap Bill Turner. Bootstrap was reluctant to speak to Amelia in private, but her determination made his effort to avoid her futile.

"Please, I don't know who else I can talk to," Amelia pleaded. "Jack trusted you."

"Perhaps he shouldn't have," Bootstrap said sorrowfully.

"You don't have to say anything. I know that my father had him killed."

"Amelia, we couldn't forgive ourselves if anything were to have happened to you. You're daughter to us all," he said kindly.

"I know," Amelia said placing her hand on his cheek, "and you are as a second father to me. But I cannot confide in him. And the man I would turn to is dead. Please, Bill. I can't do this on my own any longer. I fear the worst."

Bootstrap became concerned.

"Are you well?" he asked, knowing that her spurts of illness had been visibly worsening.

"How much did Jack tell you?"

"Amelia…it's not my place. I shouldn't be involved."

"Please."

"He needn't have told me anything. I saw it plainly."

"And now?"

"Amelia, the last I spoke to the captain…"

"Yes?"

"He loved you, Amelia. He hated himself for what happened. Even when he thought you would be safe…he couldn't bear the thought of you…" he looked into her eyes that were desperate for truth. "Amelia, I know the secret you bear. Jack did confide in me."

Amelia let out a sigh.

"I don't know what it is that you want from me," Bootstrap said.

"I need to figure out what I'm to do. I can't think straight. My mind is a million places all at once. I can't tell anyone, but I can't hide it much longer."

"You can't stay on the ship."

"And how to explain my absence?"

"I can't help you there. Barbossa has grown to hate Jack as it is."

"I know, and his tempers come about too suddenly to expect any mercy."

"Tell him what you must. Go to your mother."

"Her fury is worse."

"She once married a sailor, too. She will forgive you. I would offer stay with my wife, but it's not my place. Her life is very much one that gets on without me."

"I'm sorry, Bill."

"Men like me love the sea first."

"I know. It allows me to hope that Jack's at peace with the one he loves most."

Bootstrap felt awkward in this sentimental moment. He was not one for sentiment. The fatherly side of him felt a responsibility to embrace the girl, but the deckhand side of him told him to get back to work. The latter part won him over.

That was it. Amelia had to tell her father. She found him and asked to speak to him privately. Barbossa could sense the worst in her voice. She expressed her fear to him. She feared that she was with child. Barbossa asked how. Amelia answered the only possible alternative that there was to that question - her captors. The action itself was no lie - part of the emotional complexities that Amelia was still dealing with. It was only the result that was fabricated. Barbossa accepted the answer as truth. He kept his daughter in the cabin, not to be seen by any of the men. Barbossa called the off the merrymaking and charted a new course. Amelia would go home - her real home. Despite Amelia's isolation, word of her condition did spread throughout the ship. No one would speak of it aloud.

The day came when they pulled into the near by harbour. Barbossa sent a letter out beforehand, ensuring that his daughter would have someplace to go. The letter was received and responded to. Amelia dressed herself as appropriate. She took nothing with her that wasn't on her person. Before heading down the gangway, Bootstrap Bill embraced her and bid her farewell. He then slipped a gold coin into her hand and said, "Send this to my son, if you get the chance. Tell him and his mother that I love them."

There was a certain amount of desperation in his request. Amelia was unsure of what it really meant, but as he embraced her, she felt it would be the last she would ever see of the man called Bootstrap. Amelia returned the embrace and agreed to his request. She kissed his cheek and the farewell was completed.

Barbossa sent Ragetti as her escort since he had played the part before. She took his arm and left the Black Pearl for the final time. She gripped onto her old friend's arm tightly. They walked in a sombre silence. When they reached the foot of the of the Crestcastle estate, Amelia began to tremble. Ragetti stopped. Amelia, though she looked at the ground beneath her, could feel her friend's concern for her.

"I'll be alright," she said trying to reassure him, but the fear in her voice was too apparent to be convincing.

"Ms. Amelia," he said softly, "you don't have to do this."

Amelia smiled but shook her head. He was so naïve.

"I mean it," he said.

"I can't stay. Not like this."

Ragetti moved a lock of hair from her face to behind her ear.

"I ain't no learned gentleman," he said, "and I don't pretend to be. What was done to you is unspeakable. I'd rip their hearts out with my bare hands if I'd known."

"Ragetti-"

"I worry of what's to become of you."

"Only time will tell my fate."

"That's not good enough for me. I need you to be well. There's lots I can't give you, but I'd fight for you, Amelia. I'd lay down my life if need be. I know that don't mean much now, what with being immortal and all. I'd protect you though. I'd make sure that no man ever laid another hand on you."

"Ragetti…"

She couldn't finish her words. He had knelt down before her.

"I'd do it proper like. I'd make you an honest woman. No matter the child. If it's apart of you then it's good enough for me."

Amelia was brought to tears as she shook her head. She took his hands and pulled him back to his feet.

"I can't. I hope you understand. You're free. I can't take that from you. Besides, my father would kill you," she said trying to bring some forced humour into her voice.

"I'll do what needs be done. Hang the rest."

"I'll be alright. You just take care of yourself."

As they spoke, the gate opened to the estate. Some attendants began to approach them. Ragetti took hold of Amelia's hand once more.

"You'd make the world's best gentleman, and that's no lie," she said. "You were my first real friend. But I cannot give you a broken heart when you deserve it whole."

She kissed him, squeezed his hand, and turned away.

Ragetti stood there until he could see Amelia disappear into the house. He walked up to the gate and leaned against the bars. Finally, a servant shooed him away and he returned to the harbour.