Nothing too exciting in this chapter, Sane and Chrom have a little bit of a moment where Chrom might be a little OCC once again, but he and Sane patch things up slightly because of it at least. There's also a JFK joke... So... If you're offended by that sort of thing... Just kinda... Don't get butt hurt? If it makes you feel better, I can make a couple British jokes also?

My memory of what happened after being carried back to the palace was splotchy. I remember throwing up again, Chrom said something about improper use of magic and I told him ruder than strictly necessary to shove it, after that... I might have cuddled Lissa to death, because when I woke up we were in my bed and I had her in a full nelson.

'I think the table was right, I'm the kind of drunk who violates people.'

I felt stiff and slightly nauseous as I carefully stretched and freed Lissa from the full nelson. She groaned and shifted her position, trapping both of my legs with one of hers. The other leg anchored itself to my waist.

'If she wasn't a princess, and her brother wasn't able and willing no doubt to chop off my head, this wouldn't be a bad way to wake up.'

As much fun as I was having however, it was in the middle of Summer and I was too warm to be comfortable.

'Alright Lissa, you're gonna have to move now.'

I tried to untangle our bodies without disturbing Lissa, but the slightest move on my part caused Lissa to tense up and hold me tighter.

'Okay... I do not like being on the receiving end of the violation.'

"Lissa? Hey. Wake up."

Lissa groaned again, but detached her legs. I scooted away so she couldn't grab me again.

"Morning princess."

"Ahhh... Waaah... Morning Sane."

She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"We have to stop waking up like this," I said jokingly. "People will talk."

"Yeah, talk about how Ylisses' star Tactician is at the mercy of its' princess."

"Hey, I had you in the full nelson."

She snorted. "Yeah, after I wrestled you to sleep last night."

I nervously rubbed the back of my neck.

'Wow... This conversation is going south.'

"Well, I should get ready. We have to escort Emmeryn to the eastern palace, remember?"

Lissa nodded. "Alright, I guess I can leave you alone for a little bit. By the way, I'm sorry about all those bite marks."

My brain felt like the back of JFKs' head.

"I'm sorry... Bite marks..?"

I pawed at my neck, trying to find teeth marks. Lissa paid no heed to this, no doubt amused.

"Yeah, you kept gnawing on your tome every time I looked away. Remind me to never get in your way when you're hungry."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Gods Lissa, I was worried you'd done something to me."

She flashed a wicked smile, one I'd expect from Tharja.

"What fun would that be? You were mostly unconscious all night."

I tried to chuckle. "Thanks for sparing me then."

'I think if the situations were different, you'd be at my absolute mercy.'

Lissa left my room and I set about getting ready for the day. I walked into the spacious bathroom of my bedchambers. The first time I drew a bath I needed help working the plumbing. Even with my knowledge of ancient things, actually using that in practice was more difficult than I'd expected. I remember everyone, even Frederick, having a good laugh at my expense. Trotting into the dining hall, wearing nothing but a thin top and my undershorts, drenched and shivering. I chuckled at the memory.

'Yeah, I must've been a sorry sight.'

Even after flooding the room and having to move the furniture, everyone was still in good spirits.

'Of course, having a good laugh will do that.'

I drew enough water for a bath into a large standing tub, careful to avoid locking the pipe open. When I had enough water I shut the pipe and searched for some flint to light the coals in the heating basin.

'Wait, I have a tome! Ain't nobody got time fo that!'

I went back to my room and searched for my tome. I found it buried in a pile with my robes, no doubt removed courtesy of Lissa.

'Oh damn... Bite marks? Did the freaking Wolfman get a hold of this thing?'

I carefully examined the tome.

'Covers buggared...'

I idly flipped through the pages for a time.

'Meh, it's alright.'

I returned to the wash basin and lit the coals beneath it. I stripped and carefully stepped into the water. It was still a little cold, but with the coals lit it would quickly warm up. I took my time washing, stretching out and letting the warm water gradually soak into my muscles.

'Why don't I take baths like this at home? This is pretty relaxing.'

I heard a knocking at my chamber doors.

"Sane, do you have a minute?"

It was Chrom.

"I'm busy!"

I leaned back in the water to wash shampoo from my hair. I closed my eyes and put my head under the water and scrubbed to all the shampoo out. When I sat up and wrung out my hair I poured on some conditioner while I finished washing the rest of me. After that, I rinsed the conditioner out, stepped out of the tub and began drying off. I wrapped a towel around my hair to dry it quicker and covered up in a towel.

'Rah, why do I always pick the small towels?'

The towel didn't cover me fully, leaving me partially exposed. I tried to arrange the towel so it covered me, but I was either going to have to leave the bathroom with my chest or butt exposed.

'It's not like I have to worry about my nephew busting in on me and seeing me naked right?'

I stepped past the heavy curtain separating the bathroom from the bedroom and heard a shocked gasp. Sitting on my bed, very red in the face, was Chrom.

"Uh..!"

"What the *heck*!?"

He was staring at me with his mouth slightly open, as if he'd never seen a naked woman before.

"Get the *heck* out of my room!"

I began throwing whatever I could get my hands on and was small enough I wouldn't have to drop my towel.

"I'm sorry!" Chrom shouted.

He wasn't making any effort to leave my room, but he was avoiding the things I was throwing.

"GET OUT YOU ROYAL IDIOT!"

He yelped and grabbed his crotch when one of the objects I threw hit him right in the nads.

"Bloody hell Sane, what is your problem?"

"My problem? What's your problem? I was getting a bath!"

"It's not like I walked in on you, I was waiting out here!"

"Pervert!"

"How could I know you were going to walk out naked!"

"I have a towel!"

He snorted.

"It's not covering anything."

I threw more stuff at him, sadly however I ran out of heavy objects and had to resort to using a pillow.

"Stop looking pervert!"

"I'm not looking right now! I'm hunched over so you can't prevent me from ever having kids!"

"Oh you have at least one, don't worry."

As soon as I said that, I slapped a hand over my mouth.

'Shit...'

"What?" Chrom looked up.

"I have a kid? How do you know that?"

I sighed.

"Give me a minute to get dressed, yeah?"

I went over to my wardrobe and looked through the clothes inside. I had gone on a recent shopping trip to get something other than my Tactician robes. They were a bit too Plegian for my tastes. I turned my head to look at Chrom. Dense as he was, he at least had the decency to face the wall.

"Don't turn around until I say it's okay, or I'll use you for tome practice."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I kept glancing over at Chrom as I quickly got dressed to make sure he didn't try to peek at me. I chose a shirt similar in style to a Mercenary shirt and black pants that were tighter in the waist and thighs and flowed away from my legs starting at the calf.

"Alright, you can look now."

He looked away from the wall.

"New clothes? They... Look nice on you."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Don't waste your time flattering me, yeah?"

He frowned and put up his hands half-heartedly.

"Fine, Gods. You mentioned me having kids..?"

"Yeah... Look, I told you I know stuff, yeah? Well... It's different every time but some things are always the same. Well... You have a kid, eventually."

"Um... Good to know?"

'Yeah... This isn't awkward.'

"Look, you just go on being confused and hating me, and I'll just go on knowing what I know, alright?"

"What makes you think I hate you?"

"Oh, I don't know. You seem to be blaming me for Vaike's death easy enough."

Chrom seemed generally surprised.

"I don't... Blame you for Vaike's death..."

"Oh? Could've fooled me."

Chrom stood up.

"Look I did blame you for his death at first, I'm going out of my way to apologize here, the least you could do is pretend to accept."

"Oh, what? Lissa finally bully you into being nice? Or did you finally grow an avocado?"

Chrom paused for a moment, obviously thrown off by my statement.

"Um... The expression is 'grow a pair'."

"Well, I assumed since you're a guy you already have a pear. So grow an avocado."

Chrom covered his eyes and shook slightly in silent laughter.

"Ha... How..? I... I'm not even..."

He was quiet for a time.

"That's amazing, you know?" He said eventually.

"What's amazing?"

"How you just... Diffuse situations like that... You say something and... Poof... Nobody can be angry with you anymore."

I shrugged.

"Doesn't always work..."

"Sane, really. I'm sorry."

We were quiet for a while.

"I blame myself for Vaike's death. Never in all my long time observing have I seen any Shepherd die... And here I am and suddenly people are dying. I should've been able to protect him. I had my tome but... I just couldn't do it."

I made a fist and contemplated hitting the wall.

"Sane, if anyone's to blame, it's Validar. I should've blamed him from the start, not you."

I smiled.

"Thanks. That means a lot."

I could feel tears welling up.

'Again with the waterworks? Pansy!'

A couple of tears rolled down my cheeks. I brushed them away with the back of my hand, but Chrom still pulled out his handkerchief.

"Here, why don't you keep this?"

He dabbed away one of the tears that fell further than the other. I turned away and blushed.

"Th-thanks..."

I took the handkerchief and pocketed it.

"Hey...Chrom?"

He smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Um... You're not gonna... Tell anyone you saw me naked, are you?"

He blushed furiously.

"Oh Gods no, I swear!"

"Good... 'Cause... that was just awkward."

"Tell me about it... It's not everyday I see a naked woman..."

"It's not everyday a man sees me naked!"

"...Good."

"Good?"

He pulled nervously at his collar.

"I should go... Before I say something else stupid..."

He excused himself and quickly left my room. I sighed and shook my head.

'That bloke...'

I gathered my stuff into a cloth messenger bag and a cloak out of the closet with my other clothes. The cloak was a nice addition to my wardrobe. It was made of supposed 'enchanted silk' that couldn't be cut by your typical blade. To demonstrate, the seller took one of the cloaks and tried their hardest to slice it with a dagger. They then took a stone and showed me the dagger was sharp enough to cut it.

"But that's not the best part!" They said excitedly.

The cloak was completely waterproof, would keep me warm in cold regions and cool in hot ones. I didn't believe the seller of course, but when I saw a brilliant red cloak, I couldn't resist the urge to buy it. I'm sure the seller knew this too, for I'm sure I was charged way too much for it. However, they made up for it by throwing in extra stuff, namely the bag that I was now carrying my items in. They also gave me a silver pin in the shape of a wing I could put on my cloak, shirt or the strap of my bag.

'Hm, that should be almost everything.'

I put my tome in a pocket of my cloak and tie my sword around my waist with a piece of leather. Satisfied I have everything, I leave my room and head downstairs to grab some breakfast. The tables are crowded with so many people sitting around them, and I end up taking my breakfast outside and leaning against a tree while I eat. It was still early in the morning, much earlier than I'd wake up if there wasn't something important to do that day.

'I don't even think it's the butt crack of dawn yet. I can't believe I'm not still dead on my feet.'

Maybe I was adjusting to life in Ylisse more than I had thought, or maybe waking up from a night of drinking and not being hungover was a great way to feel energized. Either way, I was ready to tackle the day. When I finished my breakfast and regrouped with the others, Chrom explained to us we'd be taking a mountain pass the Hierophant would lead us through.

'Wait... He's that rat who tricks us!'

As Chrom was packing his things with the caravan for the journey I approached him.

"Chrom? Might we speak?"

"Of course Sane."

He didn't stop packing his things, but that was fine by me, I knew he was listening.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but the Hierophant is going to lead us into a Plegian ambush. It happens every time. I just thought I'd let you know."

Chrom looked at me in slight disbelief and nodded stiffly.

"What happens after the ambush?"

"I... Don't remember everything, but I know shortly after Emmeryn is captured and the Pegasus Knights are killed, all of them but one."

He was quiet for a moment.

"Is there any way to avoid this?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"If Emmeryn stays here in Ylisstol she won't be captured. But you seem to have her mind set on moving her. I'd suggest you have more guards with her, and let them know they're going to be ambushed."

He sighed.

"And how do we go about doing this without raising panic or ridicule? If I'm so skeptical to believe you, imagine how the others would react."

'Damn, he's right.'

"I know you're trying to avoid this Sane, but I don't think we can. So I have a favour to ask you."

"Ask me anything."

"I want you to stay with Emmeryn. Protect her no matter what."

My eyes widened.

"Me? Protect Emmeryn? Shouldn't I stay with you?"

"No. You know things, use that knowledge to save Emmeryn. Maybe the things you've seen won't come to pass this way."

I nodded shakily.

"Yes Chrom... Of course."

I left his side and went to find Emmeryn. I found her heavily guarded by Pegasus Knights and soldiers. In the front of the pack guarding Emmeryn was Cordelia. She stopped my as I approached.

"Halt, what business do you have here? You're supposed to be at the front."

"Chrom sent me here to defend Emmeryn."

Cordelia eyed me with suspicion.

"We have her guarded."

I sighed.

"Well, Chrom wants me to guard her too."

"Cordelia, let her help."

Emmeryn walked towards us with a smile on her face.

"I'm sure there's a reason Chrom wants Sane here, and I trust his reason is a good one. Besides, one can never be too careful in times like these."

Cordelia bowed her head.

"Of course your grace."

It bothered me slightly that Cordelia was so against me guarding Emmeryn, but she was kind of stubborn so I did my best to ignore her. Besides, I had other more important things to worry about. I needed to be on my toes if I was going to protect Emmeryn.

'I know I told Lucina what was going to happen, but I'm hoping Emmeryn will never get captured in the first place. I feel like there's one death on my hands already, I'll be damned if I let Emmeryn die too!'

Yay! Finished with another chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed. I'm thinking maybe I'll stagger how I upload stuff? Like, for every chapter of this, I'll upload one of Enigmatic Romance? Yeah? Okay, so my next upload is going to be that Brady/FRobin lemon. Hope you guys are still willing to follow me, and I swear I'm not going to abandon this story. (I can't say the same for Enigmatic Romance though.)

That bit in the beginning about the table, that refers to the blokes I ate lunch with at school. We had a conversation one day about what we'd be like when we're drunk, and the general consensus was I'd be the nut violating every woman and gay guy I could get my hands on. Also, remember, the stuff in the *asterisks* is really some swear word that wouldn't belong in a T story.