A/N: SO let me spit out some WARNINGS- May contain triggers for self-harmers. So don't read if that might happen to you! Also I own nothing of Inuyasha but my plot! So Enjoy!
Waking up in a cold sweat with hair plastered all to hell on your face is not the funniest way to wake up not to mention a blaring headache from that damn howling noise, I think my neighbor got a dog or something there's no way I've lost my mind to the point I'm hearing things. Walking to my bathroom I head straight to the shower, I hate mirrors. They make me feel so exposed and open. Want to hear something crazy? It almost feels like someone's looking at me, I mean not my reflection but another person. I'm losing it…it's all his fault.
I don't think I'm ready to go back. Granted this is the last semester before college I just can't bear to be without him much longer. It's been almost three months since I've been dumped and it feels like it only happened yesterday. I've been having dreams of our past together. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. It hurts when they happen I can't help but want to slice every ounce of pain I feel.
I thought I'd get out and go to the movies for a change of scenery with my best and only friend Seshomaru Taisho, and actually Seshomaru, threatened to drag me out of my house in my pajamas if I didn't go. I know I said I didn't have any friends and it's true I don't. He's more like a coworker you are scheduled with all the time. For some reason we are always in the same classes and paired together for projects. He is the most popular person at my school and everyone knows who he is. He's the star of most of the school sports teams and my graduating class's valedictorian.
Want to know a shocker I'm the salutatorian. I may be a loner but I'm not stupid. Anyways, even though he has a girlfriend and tons of friends we have gotten into this routine that every first Friday of the monthwe see whatever horror movie is out. If there isn't one than we go to his house and watch one. He likes to say it's so we can map out study time for our assignments and projects but I like to think it's because he enjoys spending time with me. I know it's a dumb idea and in all reality there is no reason the most sought after demon and heir to Taisho financial would want to willingly hang out with a disgusting human girl.
I deciding on a pair of black corduroy pants, a grey tank top and my favorite oversized sweater which is just a plain black zip up with a few band pins on them. I've taken to wearing basic colors, less to worry about not like I need to look good for anyone. Grabbing my messenger bag, keys and favorite dark grey beanie I head out the door.
We decided on seeing the fifth installment of the paranormal activity series. He bought our tickets as usual. I don't know why he wouldn't allow me to buy my own, I had asked once and all he said was This Seshomaru doesn't need to explain himself. So I just went with it, even though I'm silently grateful seeing as all of my money goes to rent and utilities. I'd end up spending my food money for the month if I bought my own ticket.
Handing me my ticket, I glanced at my crappy flip phone and seeing we had a few hours to kill before the movie I suggested we find a table to discuss our schedule for the month.
The movie time rolled around and I had actually forgotten most the pain I was in until while leaving to enter the theater I received a text and it was a weird face from my exs number. Shaking slightly I went to reply but a low growl from Seshomaru told me not to answer it. My phone had died a few minutes later anyways.
I left it at that and went into the theatre. The movie wasn't too bad I jumped all over the place whenever a supposedly scary part happened. Seshomaru would look at me with a raised brow whenever I did but it's not my fault demons are afraid of nothing. Exiting the theater we made our way to a table outside a pizza parlor and I waited as Seshomaru went and got our usual. Pulling out a calendar I went over the projects that were due and groaned. Why were they piling on so many assignments? It's the last semester before college. Ugh!
The smell of a mushroom and bacon pizza slice with garlic being placed in front of me stopped my train of thought. "Are you going to drool all over your pizza or eat it?"
"Oh shut it Maru, you know this is my favorite combination" throwing a napkin his way, which he easily caught and threw back at me I just glared and went for my pizza. If I didn't know any better I could have sworn I saw a smile on his face.
"Thank you, this is delicious!" I spoke around a mouthful of pizza.
"While I enjoy hearing you thank me, perhaps you could do it without your mouth full?"
"Oh you're so proper all the time, besides you know what pizza does to me"
"Perhaps I'll get you a veggie slice next time, or dare I say a salad?" Smirking wickedly he placed his arms across his broad chest. I liked when he was like this. Playful and almost like a friend. Before I could dwell on how we weren't I shot back a reply.
"You wouldn't dare, I'd never talk to you again!" I threatened, but we both knew it was empty. As I went for another bite I froze.
"Inuyasha" I gasped.
My heart stopped.
The action was real.
How do you breathe? Why can't I look away?
There with Miroku and koga stood Inuyasha in all his heartbreaking glory. Looking at him you would have never guessed we'd been together for three whole years. Those gold eyes held my glance for longer than it should have and I found myself hyperventilating and on the verge of tears.
"Kagome! Breathe, it's alright." I looked back at Seshomaru. Oh right fill your lungs with air Kags come on girl. Peeling my eyes away from Inuyasha I tried to focus on making a conversation.
"He's looking at me, should I go over there Maru?" I asked in a small voice.
"Do you wish to be hurt even more so than you already are?" Uttered Seshomaru.
"Of course not but what if this is the moment I'm supposed to mend everything and he still does love me?!" Kami I sound like a lovesick fool.
"Don't be ridiculous, and don't embarrass yourself further, he doesn't deserve your heartache." stated my voice of reason. I'm ridiculous…he's right I'm an embarrassment. His words while having no meaning to inflict pain caused me to flinch anyways.
"Yeah you're right, I just…never mind." A small smile spread across my face, "I still find it weird you're brothers. You don't even acknowledge eachother." Sparing Inuyasha one more glance my s mile quickly disappeared." He doesn't even notice me..it's like I never existed." I whispered mostly to myself, but Maru heard me.
"I could care less if he notices me and you shouldn't either. Us being sibling's means nothing sharing a house. Now finish your pizza and I'll take you home. We can go over our school agenda elsewhere." Nodding I went to try and finish eating but I couldn't. Instead I began packing up supplies. Gathering up my trash a stood up from my seat slinging my bag over my shoulder. Groaning internally I noticed the trash can was located right behind Inuyasha Great.
Trying to walk past him, Inuyasha uttered something that shattered whatever life support my heart was on.
"Really K, my brother? Going after someone who has a girlfriend is one thing but my brother? Haha how Pathetic can you be? Come on guys I can't even look at that slut." Sneered Inuyasha.
As they were about to walk past me I dropped my trash and took off running. I couldn't be in their presence any longer. I ran from Seshomaru and the false sense of security he gave me. I just wanted to forget, to feel something other than this unbearable pain in my heart. I ran for what seemed like hours, until my lungs screamed and my legs wouldn't go any further. Collapsing I closed my eyes and tucked my knees into my chest and rocked back and forth. I finally opened my eyes to see where I was and to my horror I had ran all the way to the park down the street from Inuyasha' house. I was at our favorite tree.
Can you believe that? What sick joke is the universe playing on me?
I couldn't stop the flow of tears that began falling.
I couldn't stop Inuyasha from leaving me.
I couldn't even be strong enough in front of him.
Grabbing the cheap dollar store blade for my bag I rolled up my sleeve and made a deep cut. Another followed and soon I had stopped cutting. I'd stopped crying but the silent tears no one would hear were still seeping from my arm and those poured long after I'd fallen unconscious.
A/N: Hey guys, I'm back ! I hope you like the changes I've made and don't hate me too much. Between school and work I've had no time to write.. and I realized I didn't like how I was writing this story so after some conversation with my muse I changed some stuff up and added more detail! Tell me what you think!