A/N: ugh! Writers block is really evil! And I'm sooooooo busy with school and work so that certainly doesn't help but I haven't forgotten about this story..or my other ones… my muse isn't around either so I hope this isn't too crummy! But I really really wanted to update and so here you go! So enjoy and I hope to update a bit faster than last time. ^_^
It was like watching a movie and right when the good part is about to happen someone hits the pause button. Breathing hard and holding my now leaking wrists I looked at the scene in front of me. The nurse who had a look of pure fear plastered on her face was suspended in midair and about to smash into the door, while the doctor who began backing up looked to have tripped over his own feet and was on his way down. Turning to face the cause of all this terror was Seshomaru. He was in a slight crouch ready to hop over my hospital bed with a green whip flowing out of his left hand, probably intending to use it on the poor doctor.
Sighing I couldn't understand why he was so upset over the doctor examining me? I mean yeah it hurt but that's because I ripped the stitches it had nothing to do with them. Talk about an overreaction! Shaking my head and taking deep steadying breathes I threw the covers off my body and made my out of the bed and out of the damage path that would surely have happened with me stuck in the middle if I didn't somehow stop it with my mind?... Walking around so that Seshomaru was facing away from me I walked to the restroom to try and find a towel to stop the bleeding and figure out how exactly to unfreeze everyone. Opening the door I stumbled through and looked up when I stopped, frozen in place. Taking slow steps toward the mirror in the bathroom my pulse began to pick up.
That's not me. Gasping I watched as I licked my lips and so did the reflection. Wincing I realized I had just pricked my tongue on something sharp. Pulling my lips back from my teeth I stared startled that I now had sharp fangs as opposed to dull canines. My once raven tresses were now silver with a violet tint half way down, not only that but my eyes had once again changed color to match my hair. Wow. I was in different clothes as well. I now had on silken shorts and a long sleeved mid-thigh length kimono that hung open revealing a black and silver corset. On either side of my hips I had matching Sai.
Grabbing the sink I took several more glances at my changed appearance not before turning around and stumbling over some chord? Tugging on the violet rope of sorts I felt a pull at my wrists. Lifting up my forearm so that it was level with my eyes I just stared opened mouthed and wide eyed. How had I not noticed that the blood wasn't dripping out of my open wounds? Instead a pulsating whip was in a pile at my feet. Giving my left wrist a flick the whip whirled around me and mad a snapping sound. It was then I realized I didn't feel so empty or alone. It was like a piece to the puzzle that was my broken soul had finally been found and I no longer wished to die but to live. I wanted to be happy.
A slight tremble began to overtake me. Ok this isn't so weird right? I mean I did meet a magical animal in my inner dream world and now it would appear I've not only frozen people in time but transformed into a demon? My head started to pound and my vision blurring. I'm not ok. Collapsing on the floor outside the bathroom I began whimpering for my dog guide. "What's happening? Hello? Please help me! I don't know how to fix this..." Blinking back tears I was suddenly shrouded in a thick purple smoke that seemed to clear as soon as it was seen and the dog from earlier was before me.
My lady please calm down you're releasing all of your pent up energy. It's been years since you've returned to your true form you must steady your mind.
"Oh thank Kami you're here! What is this? What's going on? I was talking to Seshomaru and then the whole room went into TiVo mode and now I'm like this!" I waved my hand around showing the whip.
Breathe my lady it's alright. You have simply transformed into your true form, just as Seshomaru did when protecting you. Now that you're truly awake your real form is come forward. When you were stuck in that awful cycle each time you awoken you lost more and more of your true self until you looked as you did just a few moments ago and now you have awakened as the true Kagome.
"True Kagome? But I still remember nothing of which I was... or how any of this is supposed to work?"
Only in appearance you are who you once where as far as remembering who you used to be that is a lesson in meditation that you can do while asleep. Those dreams you've been having are all of your past selves showing you the journeys they've gone through. You need only embrace them and not fear as you used to and the knowledge of how your powers work will be shown.
Taking deep steadying breathes I closed my eyes and took in what she was saying. Yeah no fear I can do that. "Umm can I ask you something?"
Anything my queen
"Ok enough with the formalities just call me Kagome; it's just too weird being called a queen. I get in my past life it was the norm but its 2015 let's just drop the titles ok?"
As you wish Kagome
"Alright now that that's out of the way, I don't feel as sad I was. Like I feel happy. I don't want to slice my body to pieces anymore it's as if I can't even remember how I could even feel so much loathing toward myself enough to even do such a thing…I feel ashamed for even doing it"
As I said earlier as you reincarnated over and over you started to lose touch with your true self. Each time you died one more layer was added burying deeper inside hiding who you are from yourself to protect you from danger. It was your minds way of protecting itself form the betrayal of you your family. In this life I believe Seshomaru finally deciding to accept you awoken a part of your soul that wanted to get out and reclaim what was taken. So when you would cut yourself it was a way for you to release all the pent up energy that has been suppressed for a hundred years. When you harmed yourself you felt relief as if you released something from deep within no? You have nothing to be ashamed of Kagome. It is not your fault that you have ended up the way you are.
I felt the dog nuzzle my shoulder and I looked up and smiled going to pet her head when my whip made a cracking noise and wrapped around her neck, screaming I tried to pull it off of her but it only tightened and then the smoke cloud appeared again and my whip fell to the ground and slid back into my arm and the dog was nowhere to be seen. I burst into tears as the objects in the room began to tremble and shake. As if the play button had been pressed, a snarl ripped through Seshomaru as he pounced on the doctor.
I began to shout, "Stop! Please. I don't know how to stop this!" lights where flickering and the window started cracking. I watched as the nurse fell and cracked her head on the door knob. I shrieked blood began pooling around her unconscious form. I crawled over to her and tried to stop the bleeding but she was already dead. Looking over at Seshomaru I saw he had the doctor by the throat pushed up against the glass "Maru Stop!" I shouted he looked over at me with blood red eyes and pupil's mere slits and with a toothy growl he slammed the doctor into the breaking glass sending him flying out the window. A loud crunch and thump sounded moments later leaving silence its wake. A low growl brought me to a terrifying sight Crimson eyes stared at me as a green whip wrapped widely around Seshomaru. He began taking steps towards me tilting his head to the left.
Standing up I ran towards the door to the room and ripped it open causing it to fly against the wall and shatter. I heard a long howl as I ran down the halls and to the emergency exit trying to get away from the shaking room and frozen people. Looking back over my shoulder I saw a flash of white flying down the stairs after me. Nearing the last flight of stairs I tripped and fell hard on my face and when I tried to get up I felt a large paw on my back holding me down. Shaking and frozen in place by fear I felt an itching ache in my wrists and finger tips. Then something wet touched my neck and I heard sniffing. Without hesitation I grabbed a Sai and slit my wrist releasing the whip and grabbed the white creature with it and slammed it against the door causing it to give way break. Sai in one hand and whip in the other I ran passed the debris and out the emergency doors and began running.
What have I done? If only I didn't have these stupid powers and I was normal no one would have gotten hurt. And Maru? What happened to him? Why did he do that? I wished more than anything I was back at my crappy apartment and away from anyone so I couldn't cause any more pain. I blinked and with a sound like thunder I feel onto my knees as looked around to see I was in my room. I crawled to my bed and curled into a ball crying myself to sleep. The last thought being that everything would return to normal.