A/N: The further I get into the story, the more I realize that I want to change. Issue with 50SoG: Christian knew her address which is kinda creepy. Also, Carmilla Karnstein's backstory has to change somewhat in order to fit better into this story. Pretty much only her mortal life changes.
A/N #2: posting a few hours early since Raph asked nicely.
Danny is there with Chinese take-out as we're packing up the last of Betty's things for her summer holiday and my move down the hall to the Don's room. She brings several bottles of beer, and Betty and I sit on the couch while she's cross-legged on the floor between us. We watch crap TV, drink beer, and as the evening wears on, we fondly and loudly reminisce as the beer takes effect. It's been a good three years.
The atmosphere between Danny and I has returned to normal, the attempted kiss forgotten. I think she finally gets that while I may have had a crush on her in my freshmen year, I'm in a relationship with Carmilla.
I check my email on my phone and find a message waiting.
Shall I see you at 1 p.m. Sunday?
The doctor will be here to see you at 1:30.
Carmilla Karnstein
I reply a quick yes, then think about it, and begin to write out a lengthier email.
You wanted to know why I felt confused after you spanked/punished/assaulted me. Well during the whole alarming process I felt demeaned, debased, and abused. And much to my mortification, you're right, I was aroused, and that was unexpected. As you are well aware, all things sexual are new to me - I only wish I was more experienced and therefore more prepared. I was shocked to feel aroused.
What really worried me was how I felt afterwards. And that's more difficult to articulate.
I was happy that you were happy. I felt relieved that it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. And when I was lying in your arms, I felt - sated. But I feel very uncomfortable, guilty even, feeling that way. It doesn't sit well with me, and I'm confused as a result. Does that answer your question?
Thank you for staying with me.
Laura
To answer your points:
I'll go with spanking - as that's what it was.
So you felt demeaned, debased, abused & assaulted? Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? I still marvel at the amount of Puritanical slut-shaming we impose on ourselves even today.
Feeling a certain way versus thinking you should feel a certain way are two very different things. If that is how you actually feel, then perhaps this isn't for you. I happen to know of people who actually get off on being debased. However, if you're only feeling guilty over enjoying a bit of pain with your sex, then may I suggest you let go of whatever preconceived notions you have had concerning sexual behavior? Don't waste your energy on guilt, feelings of wrongdoing etc. We are consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is between ourselves. You need to free your mind and listen to your body.
I want you to know that I am grateful for your inexperience. Rather than detest it, I value it, and I'm only beginning to understand what it means. Simply put... it means that you are mine in every way.
Yes, you were aroused, which in turn was very arousing, there's nothing wrong with that.
Happy does not even begin to cover how I felt. Ecstatic joy comes close.
A punishment spanking hurts far more than sensual spanking - so that's about as hard as it gets, unless of course you commit some major transgression, in which case I'd instead our relationship entirely.
I want you to know that I felt sated too - more so than you could ever know. My hand is slightly sore today, which is a lovely reminder of what we did last night. Thank you for that.
Carmilla Karnstein
Aren't you in a meeting?
I'm very glad your hand was sore.
I will think about embracing these feelings.
Laura
Betty is eyeing a new keyring when she gets another beer from our mini-fridge.
"What's that?" she says accusingly, pointing at the key. I can't resist.
"It's a car," I quip. She narrows her eyes, and for a brief moment, I wonder if she's going to put me across her knee too. "She traded this for that old expensive book." I try and act nonchalant. Yes, I get expensive cars given to me everyday. Her mouth and Danny's drops open.
"A bit over the top, don't you think?" Danny said, affronted.
I shrug.
"I did try to refuse it, but frankly, it's just not worth the fight. And it's actually functional rather than just ostentatious."
Betty purses her lips.
"No wonder you're so overwhelmed. I did note that she stayed over."
"Yeah." I smile wistfully. Danny just looked away, attempting to ignore this part of the conversation.
""You're still coming to the Adonis Festival and Hunt, won't you?"
"Of course, Danny, when is it?"
"June 19."
"Oh, I can make that." and with that, we're back to the way that we had always been; the three amigas.
It was near midnight when Carmilla called me and, once again, Betty was spending the night with Jamie. I knew it was because she was about to spend her entire summer away from him and with her family, so it didn't really bother me.
"Hi," she says softly.
"Hi."
"Did you have a pleasant evening?" She is crisp and polite.
"Yes. We finished packing and Betty and I shared a Chinese take-out." I close my eyes tightly as I omit Danny's name. "How about you?"
"I went to a fundraising dinner. It was deathly dull. I left as soon as I could."
She sounds so sad and resigned. My heart clenches. I picture her with her violin, and remember the bittersweet melody of the music she was playing.
"I wish you were here," I whisper, because I have an urge to hold and soothe her.
Even though she won't let me. I just want proximity.
"Do you?" She murmurs blandly. Holy mackerel. This doesn't sound like her, and my scalp prickles with dawning apprehension.
"Yes," I breathe. After an eternity, she sighs.
"I'll see you Sunday?"
"Yes, Sunday," I murmur, and a thrill courses through my body.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Mistress."
My address catches both of us by surprise, I can tell by her sharp intake of breath.
"Been enjoying a certain fanfic?" Her voice is soft.
"Maybe." My mind went to the scene where she had hot wax dripped on her, and I couldn't help it - it was sexy.
"Well its late for you, you need your sleep." I realize we're stalling on the phone like teenagers, neither wanting to hang up.
"You hang up," I whisper. Finally, I sense her smiling.
"Cupcake, you hang up." And now I know she's grinning.
"Well I don't want to."
"Neither do I."
"I have a question. When you were upset with me before, why didn't you punish me then?"
"Because I won't punish you while I'm angry or upset. As I've told you, this isn't abuse."
"oh."
"You can hang up now, Miss Hollis."
"Do you really want me to, Ma'am?"
"Go to bed."
"Yes, Ma'am."
We both stay on the line.
"Do you ever think you'll be able to do as you're told?" She's amused and exasperated at once.
"Maybe. We'll see after Sunday." And I press 'end' on the phone.
Jamie stands and admires his handiwork. He has tetris'ed all of Betty's things for her summer in her car with plenty of space left over. Betty and I are impressed by his prowess and I joke that her car must have time lord technology in it.
"See, baby, easy." He grins a wide white-toothed smile at Betty, and she seems to melt under his gaze. "Told you I could fit it all in just fine."
I roll my eyes at the pair of them.
"I'd love to stay, baby, but my sister is arriving tonight."
"Can you come visit me this summer?" Betty asks tentatively, all soft and totally not like herself.
I turn away and pretend I see a crumpled-horn snorkak. They are going to get icky.
"I'll see if I can escape my family," he promises.
"I'll make it worthwhile." Betty smiles.
"Laters, Laura." Jamie grins.
"Bye, Jamie."
He winks at me, and I go crimson as he waves goodbye to Betty as she drives off. Other than gender, I can see that he's the polar opposite of Carmilla. He's warm, open, physical, very physical, with Betty. They can barely keep their hands off each other - to be honest it's kind of embarrassing - and I am pea-green with envy.
I return to my dorm room and get everything transferred to the Don's room by the stairs.
Around eight there's a knock - and my heart leaps into my mouth.
"Delivery, Miss Hollis?" Disappointment flows freely and unexpectedly through my veins. It's not Carmilla.
He holds a bottle of wine with a plush ocelot. I give him a dazzling smile and send him on his way and proceed to read the card attached.
Never underestimate the tiny cute ones. -Carmilla Karnstein.
I wake early to a gray Sunday morning after a surprisingly refreshing night's sleep and lie awake staring at my packed boxes. I should really be unpacking these...
No... today's the day. Anticipation hangs heavy and portentous over my head like a dark tropical storm cloud. Butterflies flood my belly - as well as a darker, carnal, captivating ache as I try to imagine what she will do to me... and of course, I have to sign that damned contract - or do I? I pull out my phone and check my email, glad to see a message from her already.
If you drive you'll need this access code for the underground garage: 2015 [1]
Park in bay 5 - it's one of mine.
Code for the elevator: 1698
Carmilla Karnstein
Yes Ma'am.
Thank you for the wine and the stuffed ocelot, which is now tucked snugly in my bed.
Laura
You're welcome.
Don't be late.
Lucky ocelot.
Carmilla Karnstein
I roll my eyes at her bossiness, but her last line makes me smile. I head for the bathroom to begin my morning ablutions. I wonder if she'll want to have sex. It's Carmilla, of course she's going to want to have sex.
At 12:55, I pull my smart car into the garage and park in bay five. How many bays does she own? The Jeep is there, the R8, and a Cadillac... hmm. I check my seldom-worn mascara in the rear view mirror. I look okay, quit getting flustered.
In the infinity mirrors of the elevator, I check out my cream colored dress, and remember that the last time I wore a dress like this this, she wanted to peel it off me. My body clenches at the thought.
Oh my, the feeling is just exquisite, and I catch my breath. The doors open, and I'm facing the foyer of apartment number one. Kirsch stands at the double doors as I step out of the elevator.
"Good afternoon, Miss Hollis," he says. I roll my eyes at that.
"Oh, please call me Laura."
"Laura," he smirks.
"Ms. Karnstein is expecting you."
I bet she is.
Carmilla is sprawled on her couch reading an old hardcover book. She glances up as Kirsch directs me into the living area. The room is exactly as I remember it - it's been a whole week since I've been here - but it feels so much longer. Carmilla looks cool and calm - actually, she looks angelic. She's in a black Smiths band tee and trademark leather pants, no shoes or socks. Her hair is tousled and unkempt, and her dark eyes twinkle wickedly at me. She is jaw-droppingly beautiful as rises and strolls towards me, an amused appraising smile on her beautiful sculptured lips.
I stand immobilized at the entrance of the room, paralyzed by her beauty and the sweet anticipation of what's to come. The familiar charge between us is there, sparking slowly in my belly, drawing me to her.
"Hmm... that dress," she murmurs approvingly as she gazes down at me. "Welcome back, Miss Hollis," she whispers, and clasping my chin, she leans down and proffers a gentle light kiss on my lips. The touch of her lips to mine reverberates throughout my body. My breath hitches.
"Hi," I whisper as I flush.
"You're on time. I like punctual. Come." She takes my hand and leads me to the couch. "I wanted to show you something," she says as we sit. She hands me the local paper. On page eight, there's a photograph of the two of us together at the graduation ceremony. Holy crap. I'm in the paper. I check the caption.
Carmilla Karnstein and friend at the graduation ceremony at WSU Vancouver.
I laugh.
"So I'm your 'friend' now."
"So it would appear. And if it's in print, it must be true." She smirks.
Sitting beside me, her whole body is turned toward me, one of her legs tucked under the other. Reaching over, she tucks my hair behind my ear with her long index finger. My body comes alive at her touch, waiting and needful. There's a desire in her eyes as she gives me a small smile.
"'The time has come,' the Walrus said, 'To talk of many things...'"
I smile at the Lewis Carroll reference, and supply the next line.
"'Of shoes-and ships-and sealing-wax-Of cabbages-and kings-'"
Carmilla gave that small smile that I knew was genuine and it made my heart leap in my chest. "You catch on quick."
"Don't the Walrus and the Carpenter wind up eating all of the oysters?"
"You enjoyed eating oytsters," Her voice dropped, suggestively, "among other things."
I blushed at the memory and felt muscles start to clench inside me again.
"So, sweetness, you have a much better idea of what I'm about since you were last here."
"Yes." Where's she going with this?
"And yet you've returned."
I nod shyly, and I see silver glints in her eyes. She shakes her head slightly as if she's struggling with the idea.
"Have you eaten?" she asks out of the blue.
Shit.
"No."
"Are you hungry?" She's really trying not to look annoyed.
"Not for food," I whisper, and her nostrils flare slightly in reaction. She leans forward and whispers in my ear.
"You are as eager as ever, Miss Hollis, and just to let you into a little secret, so am I. But the doctor is due here shortly." She sits up. "I wish you'd eat," she scolds me mildly. My heated blood cools. Holy cow - the doctor. I'd forgotten.
"What can you tell me about this doctor?" I ask to distract us both.
"She's the best Ob/Gyn around here. What more can I say?" She shrugs.
"I thought I was seeing your doctor."
She gives me a don't-be-ridiculous look.
"I think it's more appropriate that you see a specialist. Don't you?" she says mildly.
I nod. Holy Moses, if she's the best Ob/Gyn, she's scheduled her to see me on a Sunday - at lunchtime! I cannot begin to imagine how much that costs. Carmilla frowns suddenly as if recalling something unpleasant.
"Oh, my brother would like you to come to dinner this evening. I don't know how you feel about that. It will be odd for me to introduce you to him."
Odd? Why?
"Are you ashamed of me?" I can't keep the wounded hurt out of my voice.
"Of course not." She rolls her eyes at me.
"Why is it odd?"
"Because I've never done it before."
"Wait, why are you allowed to roll your eyes, and I'm not?"
She blinks at me.
"I wasn't aware that I was."
"Neither am I usually," I snap at her.
Carmilla glares at me, speechless. Kirsch appears at the doorway.
"The doctor is here, ."
"Show her up to Miss Hollis's room."
My room?!
"Ready for an exam and some bloodwork?" Carmilla asks as she stands and holds out her hand to me.
"You're not going to come as well are you?" I gasp, shocked. She laughs.
"I'd pay very good money to watch, cupcake, but I don't think the good doctor would approve."
I take her hand, and she pulls me up into her arms and kisses me deeply. I clutch on to her arms, taken by surprise. Her hand is in my hair holding my head, and she pulls me against her, her forehead against mine.
"I'm so glad you're here," she whispers. "I can't wait to get you naked." She pulls away as we hear someone clear their throat.
Dr. Smith is tall, blond, and immaculate, dressed in a royal blue suit. I'm reminded of the women who work in Carmilla's office. She's another Stepford blonde. Her long hair is swept up in an elegant bun. She must be in her early forties.
"Ms. Karnstein." She shakes Carmilla's outstretched hand.
"Thank you for coming at such short notice," Carmilla says.
"Thank you for making it worth my while, Ms. Karnstein. Miss Hollis." She smiles, her eyes cool and assessing.
We shake hands, and I know she's one of those women who doesn't tolerate fools gladly. I like her immediately. She gives Carmilla a pointed stare, and after an awkward beat, she takes her cue.
"I'll be here," she mutters, and I follow Kirsch and the doctor to 'my' bedroom.
"Well Miss Hollis. Ms. Karnstein is paying me a small fortune to attend to you. What can I do for you?"
After a thorough examination and lengthy discussion, she ties my arm up and prepares two vacuum tubes. The doctor tells me that she can get the results within a week if not sooner. I love her no-nonsense attitude - and I can tell she's burning with curiosity about my so-called relationship with Ms. Karnstein. I don't give her any details. Somehow I don't think she'd look so calm and collected if she'd seen her Red Room of Pain. I flush as we pass its closed door and head back downstairs to the art gallery that is Carmilla's living room.
Carmilla is reading, seated on her couch. "Dead is the New Alive" by Emilie Autumn is playing on the music system, and the song seems to lift my spirits as I listen to the words.
So take me now or take me never
I won't wait
You're already late
So say goodbye or say forever
Choose your fate
How else can we survive?
Dead is the new alive
For a moment, she looks serene. She turns and glances at us when we enter and smiles warmly at me.
"Are you done?" she asks as if she's genuinely interested. She points the remote towards the speakers as the violin solo fades but continues in the background. Standing, she strolls towards us.
"Yes, Ms. Karnstein. Look after her; she's a beautiful, bright young woman."
Carmilla is taken aback - as am I. What an inappropriate thing for a doctor to say. Is she giving her some kind of not so subtle warning? At least my butt wasn't bruised from the spanking.
Carmilla recovers gracefully.
"I fully intend to," she mutters, bemused.
Gazing at her, I shrug, embarrassed.
"I'll send you my bill," she says crisply as she shakes her hand.
"Good day, and good luck to you, Laura." She smiles, her eyes crinkling as she does when we shake hands.
Kirsch appears from nowhere to escort her through the double doors and out to the elevator. How does he do that? Does he lurk?
"How was that?" Carmilla asks.
"Fine, thank you. She said that I had to abstain from all sexual activity for the next four weeks."
Carmilla's mouth drops open in shock, and I cannot keep a straight face any longer and grin at her like an idiot.
"Gotcha!"
She narrows her eyes, and I immediately stop laughing. In fact, she looks rather forbidding. Oh shit. My eyes widen as all the blood drains from my face, and I imagine her spanking me again.
"Gotcha!" she says and smirks. She grabs me around my waist and pulls me up against her. "You are incorrigible, Miss Hollis," she murmurs, staring down into my eyes as she weaves her fingers into my hair, holding me firmly in place. She kisses me, hard, and I cling onto her for support.
"As much as I'd like to take you here, now, you need to eat and so do I. I don't want you passing out on me later," she murmurs against my lips.
"Is that all you want me for - my body?" I whisper, voicing a concern that was at the back of my mind.
"That and your smart mouth," she breathes.
She kisses me again passionately, and then abruptly releases me, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. I am reeling. One minute we're joking and the next... I fan my heated face. She's just sex on legs, and now I have to recover my equilibrium and eat something. Another song came on, and I couldn't place the name but I was almost certain it was from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack, but it sounded much more eastern.
"What's the music?"
"Jonathan Davis - Slept So Long. He wrote the music originally, but Hollywood made it more American. His original version is great, isn't it?"
"Yes," I murmur in total agreement, trying to place the sound.
"It's the double violin; the sympathetic strings are vibrating and making that sound you're trying to place."
I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
The breakfast bar is laid for two; Carmilla takes a salad bowl from the fridge.
"Chicken caesar salad okay with you?"
Oh thank heavens, nothing too heavy.
"Yes, fine, thank you."
I watch as she moves gracefully through her kitchen. She's so at ease with her body on one level, and yet she doesn't like to be touched... so maybe deep down she isn't.
"What are you thinking?" she asks, pulling me from my reverie. I flush.
"I was just watching the way you move."
She raises an eyebrow, amused.
"And?" she says dryly.
I flush some more.
"You're graceful like a cat."
"Why thank you, Miss Hollis," she murmurs. She sits down beside me, holding a bottle of wine. "Help yourself to salad," she says, her voice soft.
The chicken caesar is delicious. To my surprise, I'm famished, and for the first time since I've been with her, I finish my meal before she does. The wine is crisp, clean, and fruity.
"Eager as ever, Miss Hollis?" she smiles down at my empty plate.
I look at her from beneath my lashes.
"Yes," I whisper.
Her breath hitches. And as she stares down at me, I feel the atmosphere between us slowly shift, evolve... charge. Her look goes from dark to smoldering, taking me with her.
She stands, closing the distance between us, and tugs me off my bar stool into her arms.
"Do you want to do this?" she breathes, looking down at me intently.
"I haven't signed anything."
"I know - but I'm breaking all the rules these days."
"Are you going to hit me?" She frowns at my question.
"Yes, but it won't be to hurt you. I don't want to punish you right now."
Holy cow. She wants to hurt me... how do I deal with this? I can't hide the horror on my face.
"Don't let anyone try and convince you otherwise. One of the reasons people like me do this is because we either like to give or receive pain. It's very simple. You don't, so I spent a great deal of time yesterday thinking about that."
She pulls me against her, and desire floods through me. I should run, but I can't. I'm drawn to her on some deep, elemental level, that I can't begin to understand.
"Did you reach any conclusions?" I whisper.
"No, and right now, I just want to tie you up and fuck you senseless. Are you ready for that?"
"Yes," I breathe as everything in my body tightens at once... wow.
"Good. Come." She takes my hand and, leaving all the dirty dishes on the breakfast bar, and we head upstairs.
My heart starts pounding. This is it. I'm really going to do this. She opens the door to her playroom, standing back for me to walk through, and I am once more in the Red Room of Pain. It's the same, the smell of leather, citrus, polish and dark wood, all very sensual. My blood is running heated and scared through my system - adrenaline mixed with lust and longing. It's a heady, potent cocktail. Carmilla's stance has changed completely, subtly altered, harder and meaner. She gazes down at me and her eyes are heated, lustful... hypnotic.
"When you're in here, you are completely mine," she breathes, each word slow and measured. "To do with as I see fit. Do you understand?"
Her gaze is so intense. I nod, my mouth dry, my heart thumping for a way out of my chest.
"Take your shoes off," she orders softly.
I swallow, and rather clumsily, I take them off. She bends and picks them up and deposits them beside the door.
"Good. Don't hesitate when I ask you to do something. Now I'm going to peel you out of this dress. Something I've wanted to do for days. I want you to be comfortable with your body, sweetness. You have a beautiful body, and I like to look at it." I shrug as I don't really believe her.
Two fingers press under my jaw and lift my eyes to hers.
"It is a joy to behold. In fact, I could gaze at you all day, and I want you unembarrassed and unashamed of your nakedness. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?" She leans over me, glaring.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Do you mean that?" she snaps.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good. Lift your arms up over your head."
I do as instructed, and she reaches down and grabs the hem. Slowly, she pulls my dress up over my thighs, my hips, my belly, my breasts, my shoulders, and over my head. She stands back to examine me and absentmindedly folds my dress, not taking her eyes off me.
She places it on the large chest beside the door. Leaning in, her lips gaze the edge of my ear, the touch searing through me.
"You're biting your lip," she breathes. "You know what that does to me," she adds darkly. "Turn around."
I turn immediately, no hesitation. She unclasps my bra and then taking both straps, she slowly pulls them down my arms, brushing my skin with her fingers as she slides my bra off. Her touch sends shivers down my spine, waking every nerve ending in my body. She's standing behind me, so close that I feel the heat radiating from her, warming me, warming me all over. She pulls my hair so it's all hanging down my back, grasps a handful at my nape, and angles my head to one side. She runs her nose down my exposed neck, inhaling all the way, then back up to my ear. The muscles in my belly clench, carnal and wanting. Jeez, she's hardly touched me, and I want her.
"You smell as divine as ever, Cupcake," she whispers as she places a soft kiss beneath my ear.
I moan.
"Quiet," she breathes. "Don't make a sound."
Pulling my hair behind me, to my surprise, she starts braiding it in one large braid, her fingers fast and deft. She ties it with an unseen hair tie when she's finished and gives it a quick tug so I'm forced back against her.
"I like your hair braided in here," she whispers.
Hmm... why?
She releases my hair.
"Turn around," she orders.
I do as I'm told as my breathing shallows, fear and longing mixed together. It's an intoxicating mix.
"When I tell you to come in here, this is how you will dress. Just in your panties. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?" She glowers at me.
"Yes, Ma'am."
A trace of a smile lifts the corner of her mouth.
"Good girl." Her eyes burn into mine. "When I tell you to come in here, I expect you to kneel over there." She points to a spot beside the door. "Do it now."
I blink processing her words, turn, and rather clumsily kneel as directed.
"You can sit back on your heels."
I sit back.
"Place your hands and forearms flat on your thighs. Good. Now part your knees." I do so, realizing how vulnerable it leaves me to her and how I am essentially giving my body over to her for her pleasure.
"Spread your knees wider. Perfect. Look down at the floor."
She walks over to me, and I can see her feet and shins in my field of vision.
I should be taking notes if she wants me to remember. She reaches down and grasps my braid again, then pulls my head back so I am looking up at her. It's only just not painful.
"Will you remember this position, Laura?"
"Yes, Ma'am." She kisses me quickly.
"Good girl. Stay here, don't move." Merlin's Beard! My insides clench as I realize I enjoy being called a 'good girl' as she leaves the room.
I'm on my knees, waiting. Where's she gone? What is she going to do to me? Time shifts. I have no idea how long she leaves me like this... a few minutes, five, ten? My breathing becomes shallower, the anticipation is devouring me from the inside out.
And suddenly she's back - and all at once I'm calmer and more excited in the same breath. Could I be more excited? I can see her feet and the leather pants.
"Good girl, Laura. You look lovely like that. Well done. Stand up."
I stand, but I keep my face down.
"You may look at me."
I peek up at her, and she's staring at me intently, assessing, but her eyes soften.
"Give me your left hand."
I give her my hand. "The contract spoke of me getting you a symbolic token of ownership."
"Like a collar?" I'm not sure I want to wear some sort of dog-collar 24/7 that says "Property of Carmilla". I feel a cold bit of metal wrap around my wrist and see it's a silver charm bracelet. There are two charms hanging from it: a little bat and a cat.
"Not all collars are made of leather, and honestly you won't see and remember me as much if you just put it around your neck." My eyes linger on the bracelet, seeing the small charms jingle.
"Thank you." I say, finding it cute rather than possessive.
"Mine." She says, kissing me. As I open my eyes, I feel a sharp sting in my left hand. What the?! I realize she just slapped my palm with a riding crop. The pain was so sudden that the pain barely registered. Even more astonishing - it doesn't hurt. Well, not much, just a slight ringing sting.
"How does that feel?" she asks.
I blink at her, confused. Was she wearing a glove?
"Answer me."
"Okay." I frown.
"Don't frown."
I blink and try for impassive. I succeed.
"Did that hurt?"
"No."
"This is not going to hurt. Do you understand me?"
"Yes." My voice is uncertain. Is it really not going to hurt?
"I mean it," she says.
Jeez, my breathing is so shallow. Does she know what I'm thinking? She shows me the crop. It's brown plaited leather. My eyes jerk up to meet her, and they're alight with fire and a trace of amusement.
"We aim to please, Miss Hollis," she murmurs. "Come." She puts metal handcuffs on me and the ratcheting sound startles me until she gives my butt a playful swat. I can't help but giggle at this.
"Snap your fingers." She states gently. I snap my fingers, confused.
"Besides your safe words of Yellow and Red, you can snap your fingers, okay?"
I nodded, confused as she walks around me. She's behind me as I hear her give another command. "Open your mouth."
I do so and find a bit put in place as she buckles the gag behind my head. I can't close my mouth entirely but I also can't talk.
She walks slowly round me.
"You look mighty fine trussed up like this, Miss Hollis. And your smart mouth? Quiet for now. I like that."
Standing in front of me again, she hooks her fingers into my panties, and at a most unhurried pace, peels them down my legs, stripping me agonizingly slowly, so that she ends up kneeling in front of me. Not taking her eyes off mine, she scrunches my panties in her hand and tucks them into the pocket of her leather pants.
"We're going to start here, but I want to fuck you on all fours. Put your hands above your head."
I oblige immediately, feeling like I'm exiting my body - a casual observer of events as they unfold around me. This is beyond fascinating, beyond erotic. It's singularly the most exciting and scary thing I've ever done. I'm entrusting myself to a beautiful woman who, by her own admission, is fifty flavors of fucked-up. I suppress the brief thrill of fear.
She stands very close as she fastens the handcuffs to something overhead. Her proximity is heavenly. She smells of incense and Carmilla, an intoxicating mix, and that drags me back into the now. I want to run my nose and tongue all over her covered body.
I could just lean forward...
She steps back and gazes at me, her expression dark, salacious, carnal, and I am helpless with my hands tied, but just looking at her lovely face, reading her need and longing for me, I can feel the dampness between my legs.
At the touch of the leather to my quim, I quiver and gasp. She walks round me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On her second circuit, she suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits the fleshiest part of my ass. I cry out in surprise as all my nerve endings stand to attention. I pull against the restraints. The shock runs through me, and it's the sweetest strangest, hedonistic feeling.
"Quiet," she whispers as she walks around me again, the crop slightly higher around the middle of my body. This time when she flicks it against me in the same place, I'm anticipating the impact... oh my. My body convulses at the sweet, stinging bite.
As she makes her way around me, she flicks again, this time hitting my nipple, and I throw my head back as my nerve endings sing. She hits the other... a brief, swift, sweet chastisement. My nipples harden and elongate from the assault, and I moan loudly, pulling on my leather cuffs.
"Does that feel good?" she breathes.
I nod.
She hits me again across the buttocks. The crop stings this time.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Ma'am," I mumble through the gag.
She comes to a stop... but I can no longer see her. My eyes are closed as I try to absorb the myriad of sensations coursing through my body. Very slowly, she rains small, biting licks of the crop up the inside of my thighs, heading north. I know where this is leading, and I try and psyche myself up for it - but when she hits my clitoris, I cry out loudly.
"Oh... please!" I groan.
"Quiet," she orders, and she hits me again with a satisfying smack on my behind.
I did not expect this to be like this... I am lost. Lost in a sea of sensation. And suddenly, she's dragging the crop against my sex, through my pubic hair, down to the entrance of my vagina.
"See how wet you are for this, Laura. Open your eyes and look at me."
I do as I'm told, completely seduced. She pulls the gag out of my mouth and as I work my jaw, she pushes the tip of the crop into my mouth, just like my dream. Holy shit.
"See how you taste. Suck. Suck hard, baby."
My mouth closes around the crop as my eyes lock on her. I can taste the rich leather and the saltiness of my arousal. Her eyes are blazing. She's in her element.
She pulls the tip from my mouth, and she stands forward and grabs me and kisses me hard, her tongue invading my mouth. Wrapping her arms around me, she pulls me against her. Her chest crushes mine, and I itch to touch, but I can't, my hands, useless above me.
"Oh, Laura, you taste mighty fine," she breathes. "Shall I make you come?"
"Please," I beg.
The crop bites my buttock. Ow!
"Please, what?"
"Please, Ma'am," I whimper.
She smiles at me, triumphant. "That's better... Now, with this?" She holds the crop up so I can see it.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Are you certain?" She looks sternly at me.
"Yes, please, Ma'am."
"Close your eyes."
I shut the room out, her out... the crop out. She starts small, biting licks of the crop against my ass once more. It hurts without really hurting, and I can tell she is deliberately increasing the intensity over time like you'd slowly boil a lobster. There was a pattern emerging; soft small licks against the back of my thighs, around my legs, and back up to my clitoris, she did the circuit once, twice, three times, again and again, until finally I lose count and I'm floating on endorphins and that's it - I can take no more - she hits my quim and I come, gloriously, loudly, sagging weakly. Her arms curl around me as my legs turn to jelly. I dissolve in her embrace, my head against her chest, and I'm mewling and whimpering as the aftershocks of my orgasm consume me. She lifts me, and suddenly we're moving, my wrists still tethered together, and I can feel the cool wood of the polished cross at my back, and she's popping the buttons on her jeans. She puts me down against the cross briefly while she removed her leather pants and adjust some straps on herself before her hands wrap around my thighs as she lifts me again.
"Lift your legs, baby, wrap them round me."
I feel so weak, but I do as she asks as she wraps my legs around her hips and positions herself beneath me. I'm blissed out as I vaguely realize she's wearing a feeldoe and has made it start to hum with vibration. With one thrust, she's inside me, and I cry out again, listening to her muffled moan at my ear. My cuffed wrists are resting on her shoulders and behind her head as she thrusts into me. Jeez, it's deep this way. She thrusts again and again, her face at my neck, her harsh breathing at my throat, and she is inside me and vibrating. She's got to be real strong to hold me up for this... I feel the build up again. Not again... I don't think my body will withstand another earth-shattering moment. But I have no choice... and with an inevitability that's becoming familiar, I let go and come again, and it's sweet and agonizing and intense as I don't feel attached to my own body anymore.
I lose all sense of self. Carmilla follows, shouting her own orgasm through clenched teeth and holding me tight and close as she does.
She pulls out of me swiftly and sets me down against the cross, her body supporting mine. Lifting my arms, she frees herself from my embrace and we both sink to the floor. She pulls me into her lap, cradling me, and I lean my head against her chest. If I had the strength, I'd touch her, but I don't. Belatedly, I realize she's still wearing her top.
"Well done, baby," she murmurs. "Did that hurt?"
"No," I breathe. I can barely keep my eyes open. Why am I so tired?
"Did you expect it to?" she whispers as she holds me close, her fingers pushing some escaped tendrils of hair off my face.
"Yes."
"You see most of your fear is in your head," she pauses. "Would you do it again?"
I think for a moment as fatigue clouds my brain ... Again?
A giggle escapes me. "Yes." My voice is so soft.
She hugs me tightly.
"Good. So would I," she murmurs, then leans down and softly kisses the top of my head. "I think you're passing out, cupcake."
I nod. There's no way I can do any more. I am utterly spent and fighting an overwhelming desire to sleep. I'm leaning against her chest, my eyes are closed, and she's wrapped around me - arms and legs - and I feel... safe, and oh so comfortable. Will she let me sleep, perchance to dream? My mouth quirks up at the silly thought, and turning my face into Carmilla's chest, I inhale her unique scent and nuzzle her, but immediately she tenses... oh crap. I open my eyes and glance up at her. She's staring down at me.
"Don't," she breathes in warning.
I flush and look back at her chest in longing. I want to run my hands and tongue over her breasts, and kiss her nipples, and for the first time, I feel through the top a few random and faint scars on her torso and chest. Who or what could have marred her?
"Let's put you in bed," she orders as she sits back, putting her hands on her knees, effectively releasing me. No longer warm, the temperature of her voice has dropped several degrees.
I stumble clumsily up into a standing position and shuffle over to the bed and fall in as instructed. I'm shaky and very, very tired, monumentally confused. This isn't Carmilla's bed. I recall that I'm in the Red Room of Pain.
Who would have thought I could have found such gratification in this room? Who could have thought it would be so exhausting? My limbs are deliciously heavy, sated.
Carmilla is moving about in the periphery of my vision. My eyes start to droop.
"You're shattered, aren't you?"
I nod shyly, flushing.
"Stamina, Miss Hollis." She narrows her eyes at me. "We're going to have to work on that."
"I want more - much, much more," she leans down and whispers in my ear.
And my heartbeat starts pounding again. Oh boy.
"But I'll make this quick. You're tired. Get on your hands and knees." she says. I frown.
She wants more sex?
She stands behind me and grasps my hips, and then quickly lifts me backward so I'm at the edge of the bed.
"I'm going to fuck you hard from behind. Try to keep your balance here. Understand?"
"Yes."
She smacks me across my behind with her hand. Ow... It stings.
"Yes, Ma'am," I mutter quickly. Remember: when in the Red Room of Pain, call her "Ma'am" or "Mistress".
"That's better. Now part your legs." She puts her legs between my ankles as she pushes my right leg to the side. "That's better. After this, I'll let you sleep."
Sleep? I'm panting. I'm not thinking of sleep now. She reaches up and gently strokes my back.
"You have such beautiful skin, sweetness," she breathes as she bends down and kisses me along my spine, gentle feather-light kisses. At the same time, her hands move round to my sex and she circles my clit, working her fingers in and out of me as a massive tease.
I stifle my moan as I feel my whole body respond, coming alive once more for her. How am I still turned on after all this?
She gently bites and sucks at my neck, tugging my nipples, and my fists pull on the bedsheet. Her hands drop away, and I hear the sound of a small bottle snapping open and closed.
"You have such a captivating, sexy ass, Miss Hollis. What I'd like to do to it."
Her hands smooth and shape each of my buttocks, then her fingers glide down, and she slips two fingers inside me. I gasp as I realize she's curling her fingers on my g-spot.
"So wet. You never disappoint, sweetness," she whispers, and I hear the wonder in her voice. "Hold tight... this is going to be quick, baby."
She grabs my hips and positions herself, and I brace myself for her assault. But she reaches over me and grabs my braid near the end and winds it round her wrist to my nape holding my head in place. Very slowly she eases back into me, pulling my hair at the same time... oh the fullness. She eases out of me slowly, and her other hand grabs my hip, holding tight, and then she slams into me, jolting me forward.
"Hold still!" she shouts through clenched teeth.
I clench the bed sheets tighter and push back against her as she continues her merciless onslaught, again and again, her fingers digging into my hip. My arms are aching, my legs feel uncertain, my scalp becomes sore from her tugging my hair... and I can feel something massive gathering deep inside me. Oh no... and for the first time, I fear my orgasm... if I come, I'll collapse...
Carmilla continues to move roughly against me, in me, her breathing harsh, moaning, groaning. My body is responding... quickening. But suddenly, Carmilla stills, slamming really deep as her teeth bite into the soft meaty area where my neck meets my shoulder.
"Come on, Laura, come for me," she groans, and my name on her lips sends me over the edge as I become all body and spiraling sensation and sweet, sweet release, and then completely and utterly mindless.
When sense returns, I'm lying face-down on the bed. She's on lying on top of me, my back to her front, and I'm staring at the wall where the saint andrew's cross is, all post-coital, glowing, shattered. Oh...
Carmilla nuzzles my ear.
"I'd say you're thoroughly fucked and in need of sleep."
"Thank you Mistress," I mumble, half-aware. I think she pulls out of me as I can't remember how many times I came.
She grins and gently rolls off of me, gloriously naked. My eyes are bleary and heavy and I can't really appreciate her. Unbuckling the strap-on, she removes the blue feeldoe from herself. I tried to reach out to her to beckon her back to bed.
"Have to use the restroom, sweetness."
I am exhausted. I don't remember ever being this tired. "Rest now, gorgeous girl," she whispers, and she kisses my hair. And before I can make a facetious comment, I succumb to sleep.
[1] 2015 is the current number of Creampuffs on the FB group.