Okay, back for another chapter! Sorry for the long delay... Thank the wonderful LeonPianta for reminding me that I have an account lol. Um... I have no idea what the heck is even going on by this point, nor have I really thought about FE in a while so... I know everybody's going to be extremely OCC and Sane finally has a bit of a break. And there's some violence towards the end of this chapter that might be slightly triggering for some people, especially if you have problems with men hitting women. I don't remember how I was differentiating between Sane's thoughts and Livvy's voice so... I'm pretty sure Sane is Italics?

I was sure I would feel it. Or maybe feel was the wrong word. I've heard that decapitation is one of the better ways to go. After all, your head's only alive for about five seconds after words. Or maybe it was five minutes? But I wouldn't have a body any more, so that meant I wouldn't be able to feel pain, right?

'So this is it, this is how I die.'

Those words sounded so true. One Risen was on top of me trying to chew off my face, another had my hair caught under its' axe and was about to curb stomp my face. I can't really say it was the ideal way to go, but I suppose there were worse ways.

'It's over... I'm over... Goodbye.'

"Hyaah!"

From above me there came a shout and the sound of a fine sword slicing the air. I felt some liquid drip onto me and the Risen on top of me was suddenly knocked away.

"Get up Sane! You're not this useless!"

I stared in shock at who came to my rescue. It was Lon'qu, looking slightly out of breath and a pink tint on his cheeks.

"Lon'qu..?"

He grabbed the Risen's axe and pulled it out of the ground. I sat up slowly, not really comprehending what just happened. Mere moments ago I had been ready to embrace death, and now here I was suddenly with my whole life ahead of me again.

'I almost feel cheated...'

Lon'qu was looking at me curiously. He wasn't making eye contact. Neither could he keep his eyes away.

"Is something wrong?"

I asked cautiously.

"Nothing." He answered curtly.

"I just never pictured you with short hair."

Confused, I ran a hand through my hair and almost cried out. When the Risen caught my hair with its' axe, the sharp edge cut away nearly all of my hair. I sat playing with it like a confused child until Lon'qu pulled me to my feet, slightly roughly.

"Get your sword and fight."

I didn't fully hear what he said. I just mechanically looked through the trashed remains of my tent looking for something.

'What was I doing again?'

Apparently I wasn't finding my sword quick enough and Lon'qu shoved a tome into my hands.

"Just take this then."

It was another Thunder tome. No doubt my Miciah's Pyre was somewhere amidst my tent as well.

"Okay..."

He looked at me. I thought I saw concern flash across his face, but it was gone too quickly for me to be certain.

"Are you even capable of fighting?"

"Of course I'm..!"

Lon'qu walked away before I could finish my sentence.

"Not! I'm obviously not! Don't walk away!"

He stopped.

"I was almost killed! That Risen could've smashed my head like a melon! And... And..!"

I wiped away the beginning of tears forming on my face.

"That Risen cut my hair, and I attacked Cordelia, and Chrom hates me, and I didn't want to be saved, and Gods know what happened while I was in Plegia..!"

I just kept droning on and on while Lon'qu stood there. He didn't say a word. He didn't look away. When I was done babbling I looked at my feet. The tome felt heavy in my hand and dropped to the ground. Lon'qu approached me, but still stayed a good arm and a half length away.

"Why are you like this?"

The question caught me off guard.

"Like... What?"

"When you're in front of someone you pretend like you're different. Like you're not some child with problems and weaknesses. Worse yet," He paused.

"You pretend you can depend on yourself."

I looked at him. I know I must've looked like a mess. My hair was hacked off. My face red. My eyes puffy. I wanted to scream. To hit him.

"How could you say that?" I sobbed.

Lon'qu was unfazed.

"Because it's true. You are a child Sane, your age has nothing to do with it. You're naïve, gentle, fragile even. You're not meant to kill, but you do because you think you have to. You're battling demons you won't admit you're battling. Fight them alone, I honestly don't care, but you can't beat them if you fool yourself into thinking they're not there."

As Lon'qu spoke he inched closer. Now he was only one arm length away.

"You face everything alone. Why?"

"You face stuff alone too..."

"Because that's how I'm at my best. But look at you."

I shuffled my feet uneasily.

'Maybe he's got a point.'

"What else am I going to do? I have to be this way."

"Says who?"

"I just have to! You of all people should understand. I'm weak. The only way to not be weak is to break my limits, or be broken by them. That's all there is to it."

Lon'qu frowned.

"You just don't get it, do you?"

He turned and fixed me with a final harsh glare.

"Child!"

He tried to walk away but I followed him like a lost puppy.

"What, what am I supposed to do?"

He didn't' look at me.

"Lon'qu!"

I followed him back to a battle. The Shepherds seemed to be barely holding back a fleet of Risen. Most had been surrounded and the healers and mages were in the center of a defensive circle.

'No, I'm pretty sure I decided this strategy doesn't work.'

I ran ahead of Lon'qu with my tome.

'He might think I can't depend on myself, but I'll show him! I'll show him that I'm not weak! I'll show all of them!'

I pegged three of the nearest Risen with a single bolt of lightning and joined the circle.

"Mages forward, launch your spells outward! Virion, pretend you're a mage for a bit yeah? Swords, rush the enemy! Everyone else stay back with the healers!"

I led by example and fought off more encroaching Risen. The Shepherds didn't seem too ready to listen to me and awkwardly stood in their circle.

"C'mon! Some teamwork would be great here!"

I heard a shriek from behind me and saw a Wyvern Rider grab Lissa and lift her off the ground.

"Lissa!"

Chrom tried to grab the leg of the Wyvern holding his sister but the slick scales made it hard for him to get a good grip.

'Oh no, she's doomed if I can't do something!'

I wouldn't be able to hit the Wyvern with my magic without risking hitting Lissa. I quickly scanned the skies and saw other Wyverns flying around.

'Maybe...'

I targeted a Wyvern directly above the one holding Lissa and hit it. The Wyvern fell as expected and clipped the other one on the way down. The Wyvern holding Lissa still had her, but it fell just low enough Chrom was able to slice it with Falcion. Virion finished it with a well placed arrow. Lissa fell into Chrom's arms and looked at me with a mix of relief and fear. There were still four Wyvern Riders, three Fighters, three Myrmidons, two Mages, three Archers and a Knight.

"We need to start going on the offense, if we keep playing defense we're going to be overwhelmed!"

Chrom looked at me.

"She's right!" He called. "We need to end this now!"

Finally they started to listen to me and the Risen were dropping like flies. When the last one fell, there was a collective silence from the group.

'So afraid of me now? How many times do I have to save you ungrateful lot before I'm forgiven?'

"I would've gotten here sooner, but I had to deal with a couple Risen."

Silence.

"They did a pretty good job trashing the camp."

I could practically hear the crickets chirping.

"If anyone has something to say to me, just say it!"

Gaius raised a hand.

"You're crazier than sugar free candy."

Gregor laughed.

"Sane is crazy like goose."

'What even..? Apparently that's a thing...'

"Yes, I'm crazy we've established this."

The Shepherds were slowly gathering fallen equipment as Lissa and Maribelle went around healing everyone. Some were looking at me coldly, particularly Chrom and Cordelia while the others merely looked at me with curious pity or not at all.

"So... Everybody alright?"

Chrom looked over his shoulder uneasily.

"Miriel took some damage. Libra and Frederick took her off the field a while ago, but she looked pretty bad."

'Damn.'

"She'll be alright though, right?"

Chrom frowned. "I've seen warriors felled from less."

I cringed. "Well... We can do something, right?"

Before Chrom could answer Lissa came walking up to us slowly. She carefully avoided my gaze and made a quick swipe across her throat with her hand. Even though she didn't look at me, I still saw the gesture and looked down.

'*bugger*'

"There's your answer Sane."

Chrom said sadly. I felt anger welling inside me.

"Funny how people seem to die when I'm not around, isn't it?"

I didn't really mean to say it, but the harsh comment slipped out of me before I could stop it. The next thing I know there's a singing pain in my cheek.

"Chrom!" Shrieked Lissa.

"No no," I said in a tone of mock consolation.

"Let him show his true colours. Here's your fair but firm leader."

I turned on my heels and walked back to my tent. I was expecting it to still be collapsed, however someone was kind enough to put it up for me. Any other time, that simple gesture would've brought a smile to my face, but in my present mood I paid it no mind as I stepped inside and began to pick up and put down random objects.

'Damn them all! What did I do to deserve this?'

I sat on my bed and covered my face.

'Vaike, Miriel... Who's going to die next?'

I took a shaky breath.

'Maybe... This is all my fault? Maybe I'm being punished for trying to save Emmeryn? What did the guy from Mulan say, a life for a life?'

I stretched out on the bed, defeated. My cheek stung from Chrom smacking me, but even over that all I really noticed was how slow everything seemed to go. Even my thoughts, which certainly had to have been flying at a thousand miles an hour seemed to crawl by.

'I'm done... I'm just so done...'

I closed my eyes.

'Sleep... Just sleep...'