I flopped down on my twin sized mattress for the first time in fifteen years. Charlie hadn't touched a thing in my room, except maybe to keep it dust-free-looking. I switched on my bedside table lamp, swishing through the purple beads hanging from the lampshade. Everything was so surreal. The books on top of my chest of drawers consisted of Where the Wild things Are and Dr. Suess. My little white vase with a ballerina painted on by Alice was empty. Alice. What had happened there?
When I first moved to Phoenix, I felt like my whole universe was crumpled and worthless. I had every intention of writing to Alice every day and seeing her not too long after I had arrived for the two weeks I would spend with Charlie. She mailed me the summer dress she had made me in June. It was white and flowy, with an embossed over layer of little daisies. It tied over each shoulder and stopped just below my knee. My mom went and bought me sandals that same day because I just couldn't wait to wear it. Later on that day there was a knock at my door. It was Phil, our neighbor's son, who happened to be my parents' age. He only came over a few times that summer, but he and my mom would talk on the phone every now and then, and he would show up once every couple of weeks to have dinner with my mom and me.
Alice and I wrote a few times more before it was time to go back to Forks. When I did go back, Alice was visiting her aunt in France. She had told me she wouldn't be there because her aunt invited her and her parents thought it would be a great opportunity for Alice to meet her cousins. But she promised she would arrive back in time to spend my last three days there together. I was disappointed, but even though Alice was merely eight years old, she wanted to be a clothing designer and Paris was probably a dream come true for Alice. It was my luck that the day before Alice was scheduled to arrive, my mom broke her ankle and begged me to come back and help her. I went back home to Phoenix and after that, Alice and I exchanged one last letter. I apologized for not being able to stay and she apologized for going to Paris. I am not sure whether it was because we were so young or because we felt helpless without seeing each other, but I came to the conclusion that it was better if we just let things fall the way they did. Every summer after that, Charlie would meet me in L.A. and we would spend our 2 weeks in Cali. I never saw the Cullens again. My dad would give me updates on Alice, Edward, and Emmett every now and then.
Apparently, Alice went to school in Europe after she graduated from Forks High. And she was still debating whether to settle in LA or New York. Edward was in New York, finishing up his Masters in Architectural Engineering. Emmett was a guppy practicing law in Seattle. Carlisle still worked at the hospital in Port Angeles and Esme still had her interior design business. I wonder how they all looked now. Was Alice still a petite ballerina with long shiny black hair? Were Edward and Emmett tall and lanky now? I remember Carlisle looking like an angel the last time I saw him. He was only 28 years old so wow, now I was only five years younger than Carlisle and Esme were when I left. Totally weird. Esme probably still looked lovely with her kind and gentle face with caramel colored hair. Their marriage survived and Carlisle and Esme had children when they were in college, in medical school in Carlisles case! My parents just fell out of love, my mother had explained. She said she'd always love my father, but they were apparently just meant to be together for those nine years, maybe just to have me. I didn't even go there anymore. I was loved from both my parents, from different states, and I like to think I turned okay.
I pulled out my scrapbook from my suitcase and flipped it open. It looked brand new still. I had taken such good care of it because even though our friendship only lasted 3 years, it was still priceless and one of my dearest possessions. I flipped to the pages that Edward's drawing was in between. I had it in a sheet protector to keep it from getting ruined. The drawing could have been done by an expert artist, and yet it was done by a nine year old boy. He used colored pencils to capture the most beautiful sunset over desert mountains. Instead of lots of saguaros though, the trees were native of Washington and he captured the moving water in the stream towards the bottom. It was the stream near their house. And of course he placed a perfect chocolate colored steed drinking from the stream.
"Bells! The pizza's here!" Of course we were having pizza for dinner. I needed to do some grocery shopping.
I joined Charlie in the kitchen and broke out with the paper plates. "Thanks Bells," my dad said as I passed him a couple of slices of ham and bacon pizza. "I can't believe you're actually here. Geez, is it weird for you?"
"Well kind of. It just brings back some childhood memories I had completely forgotten, you know? I'm just glad I can work from here until I decide where I want to live." I started eating my veggie pizza while Charlie continued.
"Well, I can't be happier sweetie. Stay forever if you'd like. Just kidding, don't get all bent out of shape. So what exactly do you do? I mean I know it's computer work, I just don't understand how that company doesn't need you in Phoenix if that's where their headquarters are."
"Well Dad, it's like this. I can basically log into the company's system from the world wide web. From there, I can see which customers owe money, have new orders, or just have questions. In turn I can invoice them, create a sales order, or just email them to reply to their questions. It's pretty simple and I feel kind of guilty getting the salary I do." And I did feel guilty. But I worked every day and hadn't had a complaint from the administration at PSS Inc. It was one of the largest shipping supplies providers in the country and I was one of twelve Accounts Payable/Receivable employees scattered throughout the country. I handled the northwest region and with the software the company used, my job was simple, detailed but simple. I received a Bachelors degree in Business Administration from the University of Arizona. My good friend Jasper, who graduated with me, happened to be the son of one of the execs at PSS Inc. and the rest is history. "And actually I'd better go upstairs and do a little work. I'd hate to get behind. I'm glad I'm here Dad." I tossed my trash, kissed his cheek and went back to my room to get some work done.
The next morning I showered and went downstairs to have a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I love them, but as soon as I was finished I hopped in my Accord to pick up eggs, bacon, fresh fruit and vegetables among about thirty other things for my dad's kitchen. I loved summer in Forks. I was walking through the parking lot in my white shorts and blue silk sleeveless blouse, and picked my black thong sandals this morning. As I was going into the grocery store I pushed up my sunglasses to hold my hair out of face. I tried pulling out a cart from the line, but it was stuck to the one in front of it.
"Here, let me help you," a friendly tenor voice said from behind me. I turned to meet the smile of a huge man, well to me he was huge. He was at least a foot taller than me, wearing a loose fitting black tank top with some gray basketball shorts and sneakers. He had the cutest dimples and blue eyes, the same as my old friend Alice's, with short dark brown hair that probably never needed combing. I stepped out of his way and smiled.
"There you go mademoiselle," the friendly handsome gentleman said to me as he gestured to the freed card.
"Thank you so much. It's been about 5 years since I've actually needed a grocery cart," I laughed slightly embarrassed.
The man smiled down at me and said, "Hmm, are you sure I can leave you alone to do your shopping safely? I mean you might need someone to reach for the stuff on the top shelves or maybe assist you in picking the ripest fruit." He had the biggest grin and I couldn't help but giggle.
"I'm pretty sure I can handle it, but if it will make you feel better, and you have nothing better to do then I wouldn't mind a grocery shopping escort." I said it in a joking manner, but he perked up and took the cart out of my hands.
"Let's do this. You got a list?" He started pushing the cart down the first isle before I could object.
I caught up to him after I started a light jog. "Hey wait! I wasn't serious silly. I know how to get my groceries." I attempted to take the cart when he started walking fast again.
He stopped and placed a hand on my shoulder before he said, "I'm helping you. You might need me. Just take out the list I know you have, and let's get started." He was just too cute. He seemed friendly enough so I resigned to him helping me. When we were walking near the beer section I stopped to get Charlie a six pack of Miller Lite, which I knew he'd appreciate when he got home from work today.
"Wow. Nice, I didn't take you for a Miller Lite kinda girl," he chuckled.
I turned to him and put on a fake offended face, "Well what kind of girl did you take me for?"
"Oh… umm, no no. I just thought you looked more like a red wine kinda girl?" He had an ashamed look and started tapping the handle to the grocery cart.
I burst out laughing and he looked up with a surprised smile and narrowed his eyes at me. "You think it's funny? I was ready to start crying right here in the middle of the freaking store. That was straight out evil." He nodded his head and looked down to his hands once more, this time with more of a hurt expression. I immediately felt terrible.
I put my arms around him as best I could, "I'm so sorry! I was joking," and I leaned the side of my head on his arm (which was huge and strong and nice.) That lasted about two seconds and then I immediately stepped away from him. What was I thinking hugging a complete stranger? What if his girlfriend showed up or something? He probably thought I was a crazy touchy feely girl who couldn't keep her hands to herself when it came to the opposite sex. I do not have the slightest clue what came over me. I can't believe I would…
"Hey," he said with a chuckle, "come back here. I was kind of liking that hug." He gave me a big dimpled smile and I felt back at ease. "So then you're a beer girl. Okay beer girl, what's next on the list?"
After that little incident the beer girl jokes kept coming along with tons of other little funnies he'd slide in our very easy conversation.
"Okay so, you moved here to Forks and you're living with your dad, who the beer is actually for. You don't like to dance, you don't like to sing karaoke, and you don't like to play miniature golf. You don't like to bowl or play any sort of sport at all. You do like to cook, you love to read, you love going to the movie theater and you'll do plays and opera as well. Okay. I got the main stuff down, but the most important question of all hasn't even been asked by either of us. What in the world is your name?"
I laughed and realized he was right. We had been shopping for the last forty minutes and we still had yet to introduce ourselves. "Bella Swan. And you are?"
He stopped his slow strides and gaped at me. Suddenly I felt extremely self conscious as his gaze went from my hair to my eyes to my mouth to my chest to my stomach to my…
"Umm, what's wrong with you? You don't think I look like a Bella Swan or what?"
At that instant everything happened so suddenly. He hugged my waist and swung me in circles and started laughing all while practically shouting, "Oh my God! Bella? It's me Emmett! Damn Bella, where've you been! Bella Swan holy shit!" By the time I realized what he was saying he was still practically carrying me and I couldn't resist wrapping my arms around his thick neck and squeezing. I even wrapped my legs around his waist to hug him tighter. Emmett. Emmett Cullen. Brother to my Alice.
"Emmett! Wow, I can't believe it's really you! You're huge!" We both started laughing harder and we both finally loosened our grip so he could put me down.
"I'm huge? Bella what happened to the spaghetti legs and arms? Your face finally grew into your Bambi eyes! You're hot Bellabear!" For some reason I was totally happy with everything he said and not shy at all. "So you're living with Charlie? I can't wait to tell my mom and dad. You should come over for dinner, Mom would love to see you. It's too bad Alice and Edward aren't here. Man, they're going to flip when I tell them."
I was so excited at that moment. I felt reborn somehow. Emmett and I couldn't stop asking each other questions. By the time we were done loading my trunk, I still wanted to continue talking to my currently only link to the Cullens. He apparently felt the same way so he insisted on following me home.
We got to my house and he hopped out of his black Yukon and proceeded to help me unload my groceries. Once we were done putting everything away, I put together some grilled chicken sandwiches for Charlie and left them wrapped on the counter. Emmett had already called Carlisle and Esme and just as he thought, Esme invited me to dinner. So now we were off to his parent's house in his vehicle.
"Wow, so you're practicing in Port Angeles now. That must make your parents happy. They get to see you more often. So you have an apartment over there? You live alone?"
"Wow Bella, You want to move in with me or what? Joking, yeah I have my apartment and I live alone. I come to my mom's for dinner like three times a week and spend a lot of time working out or playing basketball. Every now and then my friend Mike will set us up on dates, but so far it's been kind of lonely for me. Girls can't seem to hang with the Em-miester." His face looked content, but I could see some sullenness in his expression.
"Well, I'm here now. We can have fun together until the right girl comes along." I cheerily patted his leg and he gave me a big goofy smile. We turned into their property and drove up the driveway. Once we reached the door to knock, it swung right open and we were greeted with the happiest Esme I've ever seen.
"Oh baby, I'm so happy you're finally here! Come here, let me look at you." As Esme babbled about my "beautiful long wavy her, and perfect face" I admired that she looked exactly the same. It was no joke. She could pass for maybe thirty-seven at the most, the very most. She was squeezing me again when I heard someone clear their throat behind her.
"Esme love, can I please see her too?" Carlisle still looked like an angel as well. A very beautiful angel. "Sweety, you're gorgeous. I'm glad you're here" He held me at arms length then pulled me in for a Carlisle hug. Those were always welcome. They always made me feel safe, like my father's except Carlisle wasn't uncomfortable in the least when he was affectionate like my dad. Carlisle's were like Emmett's I suppose, just a bit more subtle.
"Alright you two, let's feed the girl. Her stomach hasn't stopped making obscene noises since the grocery story." Emmett led me to the dining room, which was readily set. "Okay Bellabear, let us feed."
Dinner went by too quickly for me. We strictly spoke of all the happy times I spent with their family. Emmett reminded us of just about every one of my injuries I sustained while trying to keep up with him, Edward, and Alice. And then finally Emmett was driving me home after I promised Esme that I'd be around to see her often.
"I'm really happy you're back Bella. You know, Alice wasn't the same when you left. Don't get me wrong, she still had us performing plays in front of Mom and Dad, or playing hide and seek in the middle of the night, but you took some of her spark when you left. I know it's not your fault or anyone's for that matter, but I think it's time you two get in touch." He turned to me for my reaction. I didn't know what to say. Of course I'd want to get in touch with her, but what if things aren't the same as they use to be. What if we don't even get along, after all we're adults now.
"It's funny you say I took some of her spark because Renee would always say I left some of mine here with her. I'll call her Em, don't worry. You're right, it's time."
We pulled into my driveway and he walked me to my door. "Is it alright if I visit you tomorrow? I'd like to say hi to Charlie too, and he's probably asleep by now."
"Of course, call me in the morning." He handed me his cell and I entered my number to his contacts and he did the same to mine but he also entered Alice's. "Hey, how is Edward?"
Emmett paused a second too long before he answered. "Edward is good. He's…Edward. Umm, okay well I'll see you tomorrow Bella. Good night." He hugged me and strode to his truck. What was that about?
"Good night," I called out loud enough for him to wave back before hopping into his Yukon Denali. I went up to my room. Charlie was in fact asleep. After I settled into bed, I replayed the events of the day. I would never have guessed Emmett was Emmett. He was really a charmer now. I couldn't believe he was single. I could already feel the affection between us that I felt fifteen years ago. Only it was a bit more…mature? I'm not sure what the exact difference was but there was definitely a connection. I was eager to talk to Alice and see what kind of woman she turned into. And then there was Edward, sweet Edward. He never picked on me like Emmett. He was more nurturing I suppose. He'd hold Alice and my hands when we crossed the street or tie my shoe when it needed tying. I was actually a bit concerned at Emmett's reaction when I asked about Edward. What was wrong with him? I could still see the same personality in Emmett today as the ten year old boy I left fifteen years ago. Why would Edward be any different?
My phone was vibrating. What time was it? 12:15? Jasper. Oh nice. "Hello," I answered in the sexiest voice I could muster.
"Hey hotness, were you asleep?" He was chuckling at my failed attempt.
"Nah, getting ready to though. How's Cali surfer boy? Is there a hot blonde in your bed?"
"Besides me?"
"Cute Jazz, you know what I mean."
"Not tonight. I felt like chillin' and just watchin' Young Guns and eatin' Doritos with lime 'n hot sauce. How was your first day with papa bear?" His Texas twang was thick so I believed he sure was having his Young Guns marathon.
"It was actually one of the best days of my life, aside from the time you and I snuck into all those movies and ditched class the first time our freshman year. Or the time we had that tickle fest after having six shots of that crap you call tequila. I ran into Emmett Cullen." I paused for his reaction.
"No way! Thee Emmett Cullen? As in bff Alice's brother? And the tequila wasn't crap. It was all I had as far as liquor is concerned woman." Jasper and I had been best friends since my freshman year at U of A. We fell into the friend zone really quick. I told him from the beginning I wasn't getting married and never wanted to lead anyone on. I had seen my parent's relationship go from perfect (I thought it was) to non-existent in a day. We never went down the intimacy route, although we were very affectionate sometimes. It was bordering inappropriate for friends, but we never had sex and never kissed on the lips…with tongue. He's the reason I got through college without a boyfriend. But he knew he was always free to pursue any relationship he wanted with whoever he wanted. And he did. I feared the day he would actually fall in love because that would mean I would lose the closest thing to intimacy I ever had.
"Yup, Emmett Cullen in the flesh. He huge! Like NFL huge, but has the same teddy bear personality he had when we were kids. Everything was really nice. He told me about Alice and everything she's been up to. And then I went to his parent's house for dinner. Carlisle and Esme are like angel royalty or something I swear. They're like the most gorgeous couple and I'm not just saying looks wise. They're so genuinely kind that they emit love and all that's good. Crazy huh?" He remained quiet for a second before answering.
"You know Bells, it does exist. They're living proof. I bet they're still as in love as they were when they eloped their senior year in high school. True love exists. And that means you shouldn't rule that out of possibilities for yourself honey. You know I love you, but I can't help but think your stance on marriage is wrong. There very well may be someone out there meant just for you. Your soul mate." I'd heard this lecture at least once every two months since I met the guy, but this time I found myself actually wondering if he could be right.
"I don't know Jazz. So, how is the web design business going for ya? Any interesting clients?"
"Darlin' don't get me started. The people here in L.A. are some of the weirdest people I've met in my life. I gave up being surprised months ago. You gonna visit me soon? I miss you like crazy. These bleach blondes don't know what cuddling is and their fake breasts bother me when I'm trying to sleep and they're all pressed up against me."
"Well give me some time to get settled in first. I just got here you know. Why don't you come visit me instead? You'll have to rent a hotel though. I don't think Charlie would be down for our open friendship." I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Charlie walking in on Jasper and I tickling each other in our underwear.
"Hey, you know what? I think I just might take you up on that offer. I don't have any appointments next week and I can just work from there for a few days. Which reminds me, I do have an early appointment tomorrow. I better get some shut eye. I hate Mondays." I couldn't help but giggle at his use of the phrase "I better get some shut eye."
"Alrighty. I'm really excited now Jazz. Don't let me down okay?"
"You know I'd never do that. Sweet dreams honey."
"Night Jazz."