Fading Shadows

Chapter XIII

All Alone

I never have felt a grief with this degree of absolute and brutal torture. My face was buried into my soft pillow, buried in a soft comforting object, but the comfort it provided refused to soothe the agony I felt most deeply, the agony in my heart. Every single breath I took caused more torment for my lungs. Every beat of my aching heart filled my soul with more pain. I am alone. I'm completely and undoubtedly alone. Resisting the softness of my pillow, I opened my mouth and screamed my misery. I am alone. "Noohoho!" Like clockwork, my nose started to fill with moisture and my eyes drenched the once dry pillow as I screamed again.

She said she hated me. Right out in the open, plain as day, she told me that I had ruined her life, I messed everything up. It was my fault. My fault... I didn't even mean to! She hates me because of her stupid crush! I sobbed again, squeezing the pillow in my fists with all of my strength. She never wanted to see me again.

For so long I have searched for a friend. For so long I have searched for love. I desire to love and be loved in return, but now that Amy has abandoned me I realize that will never be. I did not know. I didn't know what she was doing, or why she was so mad at me. I released another sob into the pillow as my chest trembled with my efforts. Does anyone care? Doesn't someone, anyone care about me?

The time I had spent searching recently, day after day, step after step haunted my mind. The day Sonic was busy with his homework. The day Knuckles was studying his Emerald. The day Tails was laboring away on another invention. Amy was the only one with time for me. Amy was the dawn of my nightmare, the answer to my prayers; the soothing comfort for my downpour of tears. Now she has left me. I am left in the darkness, left like a forgotten puppet to die in the cold. How comforting a fact that is! How much this end will please me!

The pain is overwhelming, the pain of total defeat. The pain of everything falling apart like a house made from cards. I am drowning, drowning in despair. I always have held a flicker of hope, desperately clutching it next to my chest, afraid that the last flames of my life would burn out from the cold hate in the world. There was one other time that the flame went out, and that was when I found my entire family rent to ribbons by the bullets of greedy cowards. No one was there for me. Now, no one was there for me once again, and the grief it invocated was no less brutal and disheartening than it was the first time.

My chest and throat hurt immensely in their response to my broken heart. My heart hurts most of all. My throat became more irritated as I cried into the pillow's cushioning innards, effectively absorbing much of my tormented scream. The grey overcast sky felt my troubled sobs and the lonely tears that dropped from my eyes were joined by thousands of sacred tears from the clouds, as if Nature herself knew of my anguish. The rain started to cause the song as it always has, causing a barrage of soft plops against anything and everything, from buildings, to sidewalks, to streets and manholes. I looked up from my pillow, holding back my stifled sobs, and observed the raindrops as they landed on the cement of the alley, and the drops became more plentiful and intense, increasing from a modest rain to a downpour.

The song of the rain strengthened into a constant roar, and small splashes from the fallen moisture sent more drops into the air briefly before they landed on the ground once again, forming a screen that concealed the once distinguished ground under a whitish spray. As more tears dropped from my eyes, I neared the curtain of rain that covered my doorway and looked to the sky. A twisted finger of lightning spread out like a web in the clouds, appearing for only an instant and flickering as it vanished into nothing.

The weather is reflecting my mood with remarkable accuracy. When a second flash of lightning and a rumble of thunder, I noticed something at the back of my home from the shadows as the flash pronounced something I had never noticed before. I turned around and neared the corner of the stairs where the stairs dropped to the ground. There, simply forgotten, sat an ink pen and a wrinkled sheet of paper. A new conclusion entered my mind as more tears fell from my eyes. With a grasping hand I grabbed the paper and pen, and wrote on the paper a message for whoever finds it. One of my tears fell onto the message as I finished, smearing part of the final line. I inspected the disorder caused from my tears. The smudge was most of one word, and only one word is not significant. Anyone can reasonably guess what the word was meant to be.

I folded the sheet of paper and tucked it into my glove, folding it under the cuff that covered my wrist and walked out of the shelter, into the tempestuous weather. The rain pattered on my fur and face, gradually soaking my pelt, adding more weight to my already devastated heart to carry. Thunder crashed through my ribcage and rattled the dense air as I started forward. I felt so cold I was becoming numb, numb as the rain drew the warmth right out of me and dispersed it into the chilling air. The rain expertly concealed my tears, and I noticed the clouds became denser as the sky darkened. The clouds above are turning black. The day is turning darker and colder by the minute. I feel that same way inside, I feel in a manner identical to the conditions of the sky above. My heart is turning colder and darker by the minute. For some reason the building hostility and anguish in my heart reminded me of the nightmare I had a while ago. And then it hit me.

The nightmare was my future. I was alone and searched frantically for some compassion...

My fearful plea was engulfed by the same haunting, mocking silence. I sank down against the ground and clenched my fists. NO!! All alone... A tear slowly formed on my eye as I expelled a deep sigh from my chest. "Shadow?" My heart throbbed in surprise as my eyes rapidly glanced around to find who had called me. "Don't leave me," I softly spoke to the voice. "I will stay with you, Shadow. Don't worry."

I found Amy in the emptiness and was filled with hope...

Bright green eyes appeared in my face, and I jumped back in a startled reaction, causing me to fall over. After I had landed, a sense of security washed the anxiety out of my mind, and my heartbeat slowed to a smoother pace. The person was none other than Amy, the one friend that I had found in this harsh world. For a moment my tears of pain and hurt became tears of hope. "Amy, please don't leave me here. I am so lonely out here, just look at where we are."

The rose female looked around us, noticing the vacant cage that had no end. "I won't, Shadow." My heart slowed even more and my once rapid panting had slowed to a steady breathing. "Thank you or waiting here with me, Amy," I stated gently as I smiled for the first time in the entire dream. "You are welcome, Shadow. Why are you out here, anyway?" I sighed, and Amy noticed. "What is wrong?" I looked up into her lovely eyes.

Then Amy forgot about me...

"I am lost. I want to escape from here, but I do not know how to do that and leave this empty space behind," I replied honestly. "I tried to run out, but there is no end in sight out here," I answered her sadly. "Look!" Amy's voice rose with excitement. Frantically, I glanced at her to determine where she was looking, and then I looked there myself. Sonic was back. "Sonic! I am over here!" Amy got up and chased her blue hero, and distance was quickly growing between the others and where I stood.

The feeling of loneliness was back with a vengeance, sinking my heart down into my stomach and burdening my efforts to breathe. "Wait!" I started to chase after them. "Wait!! Please!!" I, unfortunately, crashed into Amy, and we were sent sprawling on the ground. "Shadow! What is wrong with you? You scared Sonic away!" The gentle voice held a note of annoyance and anger. I was dumbstruck. "What? But I just saw him!" I protested.

Finally, Amy became mad at me and left because I ruined her life...

"You scared him away, Shadow! Now my life is ruined!!" Amy's voice trembled as she finished her accusation. "Go away, Shadow! I do not ever want to see you again!" The girl screamed. I winced as my heart ached with pain. "But Amy!" The person I was speaking to turned around and glared at me with rage. "But nothing, Shadow! You ruined my chance! My life is over! I hate you! I never want to see you again!" A single sob ripped through my chest as tears burned my eyes. Within an instant, Amy was gone. "Amy! Please listen to me! I am sorry!" I pleaded. A cascade of tears dripped out of my crimson eyes. "I hate you! I never want to see you again!" Amy's voice echoed, mashing my soft heart harder into the solid ground. "I hate you. I never want to see you again. I hate you. I never want to see you again. I hate you. I never want to see you again..."

Once again I was left for dead. Left behind in the relentless cruelty of the world...

The white background darkened, and soon I could not see anything at all, not even my own hand if it was inches in front of my eyes. The loneliness swallowed my frail heart and I started to sob in fear. "Amy!!! Don't leave me!!!" A tear fell from my eye. "Amy!! Don't leave me!! Amy! Don't leave me! Amy, don't leave me." The echoes returned without relent. "Don't leave me!!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Don't leave me!!!!! Don't leave me!!!! Don't leave me!!! Don't leave me!! Don't leave me! Don't leave me. Don't leave me." No... I am destined to be alone. I sobbed again as the thought crossed my mind, causing more tears to leave my eyes. I gave into the gloom surrounding me. It swallowed me whole, grinding my heart in its jaws, slicing my heart between its dagger teeth like I was its favorite snack. I vanished, becoming lost forever in the endless depths of darkness...

The darkness, the relentless cold hostility that crushed me and shredded my heart is right here. It's swallowing me up right now. My impossible nightmare is undoubtedly becoming my permanent reality. I am all alone...

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A.N. Poor Fuzzy! As always, reviews are appreciated. Reviews will inspire me to write faster. Send some, now!! XD