Emmeryn was so still. Looking at her it was impossible to know that she had ever moved. Her skin was even paler than Chrom's, her eyes were closed and a thin shroud was covering most of her body. I could barely look at her. It was unreal, seeing someone dead like Emmeryn. I reached out and took a hold of her hand. It was icy cold to the touch and fell listlessly in my grasp. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arms around myself.

'It's all my fault.'

I took a deep breath.

'Emmeryn is dead because I wasn't quick enough. I let everyone down.'

Tears leaked from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

"Emmeryn..."

Chrom, Lissa and Frederick were in the room with me. The four of us were silent save for quiet sobs. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was stare at Emmeryn's corpse and hope that someone would do something. Hope that someone would say something so the God-awful silence would be broken and I would have an excuse to leave, to respond. To do anything so I wouldn't just have to stand there and pretend that I wasn't going insane before them from the alien feelings that were swirling within me.

'This is familiar, isn't it Sane? All she needs is a breathing machine and some black goo being pumped in and out of some tubes...'

I sank to the ground and covered my head with my arms. Next thing I know howling sobs are escaping me and I feel myself being lifted up by strong arms. Someone was stroking my head and holding me upright. My eyes were closed tightly and I was gritting my teeth.

'You can't just close your eyes and blink this all away Sane. Look at her Sane. LOOK AT HER!'

I opened my eyes and pulled myself away from Frederick, the one who was holding me. I gazed at Emmeryn, laying dead in her extravagant bed.

"When did this happen?" I rasp.

Frederick, who seemed to be the calmest on the surface, answered me.

"It was earlier this morning she stopped breathing. The healers tried to do what they could to bring her back, but it was no use."

I nodded stiffly.

"Did she... Suffer?"

I was terrified of the answer. I didn't know what would happen if she did suffer, Would I break down even more?

'Or will you get some sick little thrill?'

I took a deep breath and excused myself from Emmeryn's room. I made my way back to my room and locked myself in. After locking myself in my room I buried my face in a pillow and screamed. I screamed until I thought I was going to scream my throat raw and make my eyes bleed. When I was done screaming I stood up and started throwing everything I could get my hands on. Pillows and books were the first to go, being lighter easy to hold. Then as my rage and feelings of uselessness built I began to throw the drawers of my dressers across the room as well. Most were dented or broken by the impact. There came a knock on the door amidst my madness, and I stopped to open it. It was Chrom.

"Sane? You're being awfully loud..."

He peered inside the room and gasped.

"Gods be praised Sane! What the hell are you doing in here?"

He looked around my trashed room in horror. I looked down at the floor, trying not to meet his gaze. He casually picked up some of the stuff I had knocked over and tried to put it back in its place. For some reason this angered me and before he was able to pick it all up I started knocking it over again, not as aggressive however. Chrom stopped trying to pick up my belongings and calmly waited for me to stop. His eyes were filled with immeasurable sadness.

"Sane... I know you're sad but-"

"NO! You don't know!"

I grabbed the mattress of my bed and flung it across the room.

"Emmeryn is gone because I wasn't good enough, because I couldn't get those damn herbs, and because the whole damn world is just..!"

I slammed my fist into the wall. I quickly learned that was a big mistake as I felt pain shoot through my hand and up my arm.

"God dammit!"

I punched the wall again. And again. I kept punching the wall until Chrom stopped me by grabbing my hand and restraining me.

"Sane, that's enough!"

I looked at my hand.

'*Bugger.*'

My knuckles were split open and bone was showing through the skin. My hand was dripping blood at a steady pace and didn't seem to want to stop anytime soon.

"Sane..."

I pulled my hand away from him. I wasn't thinking clearly, due in equal parts to my pain, adrenaline and rage.

'But what's got you so mad? You're inadequacy, or seeing another deathly still mother?'

"Get out..."

"Sane-"

"GET. OUT!"

I was screaming, my voice breaking and quavering. I was pushing Chrom away, trying to force him out the door. But I was weak in my rage, and all I did was bloody his clothes. Another knock came at the door, soft and urgent. I started screaming. Wailing. Certainly my voice was piercing the heavens. Incoherent words were pouring from me, mixed with my swears. My door opened, but I wasn't paying attention. I sank to the ground and babbled.

"I knew this was going to happen. One way or another, I just didn't want to see it. Who was I to play God? She was destined to die. It's all going to happen, nothing can be done to stop it. She was just like my Mommy, she never had a chance. It's not fair, I did everything right, why did she die? I did everything right, it's not fair? Why did she-?"

Gentle arms wrapped themselves around me and held me close. I stopped my babbling and stiffened. It was Lon'qu. He had let himself into my room when I didn't answer my door, no doubt having heard my screaming. He didn't seem to be bothered by the fact I wasn't at ease. Instead drew his arms even tighter around me and guided my head to rest against his chest. His heartbeat was fast and sounded stressed. I was shaking like a child.

"I can't... I won't be able to stop it..." I babbled.

"Everything... I know... The war... What if I'm not..."

I struggled to breath.

"What if I let it happen? What if I listen?"

I was vaguely aware of my door opening and closing a second time. I wasn't sure if someone was coming or going, but I didn't care. One of Lon'qu's arms traveled up my back and he entwined his fingers in my hair. He gently tugged on small pieces to distract me. His unorthodox method's worked though, and I found myself slowly calming down. I lifted my head and looked around at my destroyed room.

"Where did..?"

"He left. Looking quite pale."

I buried my face in Lon'qu's coat and shook more. He continued to gently tug on my hair and rub my back until I stopped my shaking and looked up at him with red eyes.

"I'm sick..." I mumbled.

"It's okay, you can take some of the herbs-"

"In the head, Lon'qu. More than that... I'm a monster..."

I lifted up my hand and tried to look at it. The pain was rising as my adrenaline from my rampage was subsiding. Lon'qu frowned and took some spare bandages that had been thrown about and used them to wrap my hand.

"I should take you to a healer."

"Did you hear me? I'm a monster?"

"You're not a monster, Sane."

"You don't know that."

Lon'qu tilted my chin up so I could look him in the eyes.

"What could possibly make you a monster?"

'Oh yes Sane, tell him.'

"I came to this world and took the place of someone else who was supposed to exist. This person who was supposed to be here instead of me..."

I took a shaky breath.

"They're the vessel of Grima, destined to become the Fell Dragon. They're haunted by past memories and a voice that isn't theirs."

Lon'qu was surprised by what I was saying.

"You can't be serious...?"

I turned my face away from him.

"Ever since coming here, I've had a voice in my head. A voice that always haunted me in my world but never had any power to do anything. But for some reason, in this world..."

'In this world you're weak...'

"In this world I can't fight the voice Lon'qu... It's taking control of me. I don't want to fight it..."

I looked at him, expecting him to have a look of revulsion on his face. Instead there was distant sadness.

"It's easier to be a monster, isn't it Sane?"

I nodded.

"I've always secretly dreamed of being the monster, I just push those thoughts aside because... As much as I dream of being a monster, I want to be a savior..."

'You're no savior...'

Lon'qu once again tilted my chin so I was looking him in the eyes. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I put my arms around him and when he broke the kiss I rested my head against him.

"What will you do if I turn into a monster?" I asked quietly.

"..."

Lon'qu's silence screamed back at me and I bit the inside of my cheek.

"If you become the monster... Either you'll push me away, or I'll stay beside you. I won't abandon you, not in a time like that."

Lon'qu lifted me off the ground and carried me over to where the mattress had landed after I had thrown it. Together we sat on it, and Lon'qu rested his back against the wall so I could continue to lean on him.

"Maybe one day you'll have to make a choice. Maybe one day you'll have to decide if you are going to become the monster you're so terrified of, or if you're going to be the hero that defeats the monster. Either way Sane, no one is in control of that decision other than you. You're not some puppet having her strings pulled. You're writing your own destiny Sane, don't you ever forget that, no matter what the rest of the world tries to say."

Fun fact: When my mom kicked the bucket we were in a car driving down the street at about 40 miles per hour, and she pulled over in a parking lot and just stopped breathing. She was declared 'brain dead' three days later at the hospital after being on a ventilator for a few days. I saw her twice while she was there, and they had all these weird tubes pumping stuff in and out of her. It was... Not something I enjoyed dredging up, but I wanted this to be real. I want Sane to parallel my life a bit so I can have some artificial closure. The reason Sane is questioning weather she's a monster or not is because I kind of do that. (Thankfully not often or to the extent the fictional Sane does.) Livvy was making some pretty direct jabs with the whole 'still mother' thing, and the black liquid, all in the effort to break Sane.

So Lon'qu became the most philosophical bastard in existence. I did not see that one coming. And I think Sane has finally had her 'big' breakdown... Or at least the biggest one for this part of the story. I know she's been kind of bi-polar until this point, but I hope now you possibly see what she's been so bi-polar? Alright, now for the next part in the story: Do we continue with Sane's adventures during the two years, or should I stop messing around and get back to the main plot line? I'm not going to update this until I get significant feedback from readers, so PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER. I cannot stress that enough. Honestly, it would be amazing if everyone who reads would review without me asking, but I know most of you just favourite or follow and I never hear from you again, with the exception of Leon... Hime-something... And another person... (Sane is bad with names...) Anyway, thanks for reading, let me know what you think, and I'll update when I have enough feedback.