yes I know Dean would never put stickers on his beloved baby, but these just sounded so much like him i had to add another chapter.

Chapter 2

HE WHO HESITATES IS MILES FROM THE NEXT EXIT

LIFE IS SHORT…BREAK SOME RULES

IT'S NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, IT'S WHETHER I WIN OR LOSE

IF FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED
SCREW IT

ISN'T A SMOKING AREA IN A RESTAURANT
LIKE A PEEING AREA IN A SWIMMING POOL?

IF FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED…
MAYBE LOSING IS YOUR STYLE

COPULATE
DON'T POPULATE

REMEMBER LADIES; IT'S NOT
MEN'S MINDS THAT THEY WANT BLOWN

EX-LOVERS MAKE
GREAT SPEED BUMPS

JESUS LOVES YOU
EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE

WITH GUNS,
CARS, & BEER
… WHO NEEDS WOMAN?

EARTH FIRST…
WE'LL SCREW UP THE OTHER PLANETS LATER

THE SHORTEST SENTENCE IS 'I Am."
THE LONGEST IS 'I DO'

IF I WANTED TO HEAR FROM AN ASSHOLE
…I'D FART

I'D SMACK YOU, BUT
SHIT SPLATTERS

I'M RETIRED
GO AROUND ME

DON"T BOTHER ME
I'M LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER

I RESPECT YOUR OPINION
I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT

IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH?
TOUCH MY CAR AND FIND OUT

TURN THE OTHER CHEEK?
HELL, I KICK ASS

SARCASM …
JUST ONE MORE SERVICE I OFFER

I TRIED SEEING YOUR POINT OF VIEW
BUT I COULDN'T GET MY HEAD
THAT FAR UP MY ASS

IF I GAVE A SHIT,
YOU'D BE THE FIRST TO GET IT

IF YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME
HOW COME YOU'RE NOT DEAD?

I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH
TO BE THIS PISSED OFF

C'MON, GIVE ME THE FINGER LIKE YOU MEAN IT

YOUR PROCTOLOGIST CALLED
HE FOUND YOUR HEAD

I'M WIMP
AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU SAY I'M NOT

I LOVE EVERYONE
AND BABY YOU'RE NEXT

I DON'T SUCK. BUT HONEY I HOPE YOU DO

YOU'RE A BAD GIRL!
GET IN MY CAR

MY IDEAL GIRLFRIEND
A NYMPHO LIQUOR STORE OWNER

WHY IS A JOB BETTER THEN A WIFE?
AFTER 10 YEARS A JOB STILL SUCKS.

WE INTERRUPT THIS MARRIAGE
TO BRING YOU RACING SEASON

* * *

"Dean, let's go already." Sam whined walking down the aisle that his brother was in. The boys had stopped to pick up supplies and were ready to go, except a certain Winchester was acting slightly out of character.

"Just a sec Sam." Dean waved a hand behind him in the direction of his brother. "Almost done here."

"Dude, what are you doing?" Sam rolled his eyes as he looked over Dean's shoulder to see what his brother could be up to in the stationary section of all places. He was sure his eyes would pop out when he say Dean holding several bumper stickers. "What the hell are you looking at those for?" he asked incredulously. If there was one rule that Dean held sacred, it was that should any foreign objects, beyond the categories of dirt and squished bugs, appear upon his car, the guilty party would be wise to put a continent between themselves and the crime seen and be making arrangements for their early departure from this existence.

Dean looked at his brother oddly. "Reading them, what else."

Sam raised his eyebrows as if he thought his brother was going nuts. "Dean," he said incredulously, "you kill people for even touching your car. And now you want bumper stickers for the impala?!"

Dean grinned and chuckled. "Yeah, well, I don't have to buy them to read them do I."

"What? There funny." Dean defended himself when Sam looked at him as if he had sprouted another head. "Maybe we should get you a car so you don't have to keep complaining about my music and I could have something to stick these on."

Sam looked at Dean weird and said, "Yeah, and even if I did get a car why would I wanna put any of those on it?"

Dean chuckled and waved on of the stickers under Sam's nose for him to read. "Because my dear brother," he said with a laugh, "due to your crappy alcohol tolerance, you do, in fact, go from 'ZERO TO NAKED IN 6.2 BEERS'!!"

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P.S. for more goofyness, read If Dean Used Bumperstickers 2