"Urgh" Gwen squirmed slightly and rolled over, she was laying on an ice cold floor…she couldn't remember anything of the night before, which meant she and Jack got drunk and had wild sex on the TARDIS console again or she was abducted…again. She couldn't feel Jack's presence which means he either went to the bathroom or something or she was abducted.
Someone was shaking her "pst wake up we got to get dressed"
Gwen woke up to see a redhead woman looking concerned and scared at the same time.
"Where am I?" Gwen muttered
"Backstage" the woman said "come on we got to get dressed and hair and make up…or we might be…" the woman gulped and then whispered in Gwen's ear "not Nancy"
"Jess, sweetie we need you in hair and make up" a man said not looking up from his clipboard, "they decided to change your song again to the second sequence do you think you can handle it?"
Jess gulped and nodded, her fingers tracing the N on her locket. It was only then that Gwen noticed her outfit. It was a sparkling emerald green Victorian era dress. The kind the poor wore but it was too bright and shiny to be from the actual period. It was a show dress.
Gwen was on a singing show.
"Oh…a new girl that's new" the man said looking at Gwen from head to foot "she looks roughly Sam's size, someone get me Sam's back up dress"
Jess glared at Gwen before she went into hair and make up. Before Gwen knew it she was in a dark blue dress similar to Jess's and a locket just like Jess's. They used so much hairspray on Gwen's hair that she was sure it would ruin the earth's atmosphere, they painted her lips red and used they same amount of eyeliner as Jackie did on in all her life.
"Positions ladies. Now remember the loydbot is on the fritz so please duck when he tries to make you not Nancy. And remember the slightest mistake they may…disqualify you."
Gwen gulped.
"And we're live in three, two, one"
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO ANOTHER ROUND OF I'LL DO ANYTHING!"
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit Gwen chanted in her head.
The Doctor woke up to find himself in a Big Brother house, a chirpy blonde kept chatting to him. All the Doctor could really say was "you got to be kidding"
Jack woke up to find himself surrounded by two female robots who wanted to dress him up like a doll. He was on What Not to Wear. When they stripped him right in front the camera their ratings went up. Jack couldn't help but be pleased with himself.
Rose was going in to hysterical laughter. The Weakest Link? The Anndroid? It was too much. Then someone was killed right before her eyes and she sobered up. This isn't a game.
"New girl, put this on, you'll be up in 15" said one of the stage hands shoving a blue dress in Gwen's arms.
"Someone help, the Barrowmanbot is playing up again" someone shouted
"What is he doing now?" someone yelled back
"His attempting to shag Joe"
"Poor Joe, this is the fifth time this week"
Gwen quickly put on her dress praying that someone will save her before she goes insane.
The Doctor and Lynda with a Y escaped the house. Lynda was giving him a detailed description of earth and it's time period.
"This is satellite five" the Doctor said in shock
"Yep"
"But I stopped it; I stopped the news readings…which means I created this world"
"Face off"
"You mean I get to have a fist fight with someone?" Jack asked fighting with an invisible person.
"No I mean face off" the robot said, suddenly her hand turned into a chainsaw
Shit Jack thought
"Sorry but you are the Weakest Link" the Anndroid said
And then once again someone died
Please Doctor save me soon, something is wrong, I think this mysterious Bad Wolf is behind it
"NOW PRESENTING GWEN TYLER" the presenter shouted
Gwen gulped before the music started, she swayed her hips to the beat before leaning towards one of the dancers and said "lets go girls"
"I'm going out
tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna
make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and
shout
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta
line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a
good time
The best thing about being a woman
Is the
prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)
It's a good thing the other's aren't here…she'll never live this down.
Oh, oh, oh, go
totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh,
oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in
the action-feel the attraction
Colour my hair-do what I dare
Oh,
oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel
like a woman!
The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna
take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we
only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down
The
best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little
fun (fun, fun)
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a
lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh Jesus Christ, that's Jack, Jack is watching Gwen sing Shania Twain and he's smirking… so much for no one being here to watch this. She hopes he'll save her from doing this again. But then knowing Jack he'll find the whole thing arousing and will make her do the whole thing again.
Oh, oh, oh,
really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the
action-feel the attraction
Colour my hair-do what I dare
Oh,
oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel
like a woman!
The best thing about being a woman
Is the
prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)
Oh, oh, oh, go
totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh,
oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in
the action-feel the attraction
Colour my hair-do what I dare
Oh,
oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel
like a woman!
I get totally crazy
can you feel it
come,
come, come on baby
I feel like a woman
The music stopped and the audience applauded, the robot pulled Gwen to the judges.
"You were fantastic, wonderful, I can totally see you being Nancy" the Barrowmanbot said winking at her
"Gwen honey, Nancy was a sweet girl who had an abusive boyfriend this song is way unrealistic for the character" the Simon Comwellbot said
Err…when was this X-Factor? Gwen thought probably got their bloody TV history wrong.
"I can see you being Nancy" said another robot
"Gwen honey I don't remember you, my memory chip must be on the fritz again like I am" the robot began to splutter "sorry but you are not Nancy" it opened it's mouth and some kind of laser beam came out, Gwen barely had time to duck.
There was a blast as all four robots were destroyed; Gwen opened her eyes to find Jack grinning at her.
"Missed me?" he said
"I am so glad to see you" Gwen said getting up off from the floor and brushing the dust of her dress, Jack eyed her up and down with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Like the dress" he commented
Gwen rolled her eyes before pulling Jack in for a quick kiss "I was worried that I'll never see you again" she murmured before snuggling into his embrace.
"As much as I love to stand her and hug you, we got to find the Doctor and Rose. God knows what kind of show they're stuck in"
"DOCTOR!" Gwen shouted throwing her arms round the mans neck "god I am so glad to see you any luck on finding Rose?"
"Gwen – can't – breath" the Doctor choked
"Oh sorry" Gwen said sheepishly as she pulled back
"No luck yet" the Doctor said "I see you found our wayward Captain"
"He found me"
"In what show? By the looks of it, it was X-Factor"
"Actually it was I'd Do Anything, they were trying to find a Nancy for Oliver" Gwen said "though for some reason Simon Comwell's robot self was there"
"ah yes in 2016 Simon will leave X-Factor and join in helping finding west-end stars" the Doctor said "he then gets killed by an angry woman who he insulted when she was sixteen but oh well that's humans for you, oh this is Lynda by the way. Lynda with a Y"
"Nice to meet you Lynda" Jack said
"Stop it" the Doctor and Gwen said
"I was only saying hello"
Both snorted
Her sister is dead.
Gwen watched in horror as the Anndroid killed her sister.
Rose Tyler is no more
Gwen began to cry.
The Doctor was shell shocked
And Jack was furious, he began to scream and rage at the guards.
The three of them and Lynda ended up locked up being questioned. None of them answered the questions.
Then the Doctor said one word. One word that pulled them into action.
"Now"
Two good things and one horrible bad thing. Sodding Murphy's Law Gwen thought, they found the TARDIS; found out that everyone that died on the shows aren't really dead. Which meant Rose was still alive.
They even located Rose.
Who was stuck in a fleet of Dalek ships.
"No" the Doctor muttered "I won't. What I'll do is go over there save Rose and then I'll kick every single Dalek's arse there, save the world and then who'll be laughing?" the Doctor's voice grew louder as he ranted "Rose"
"Yes Doctor?"
"I'm coming for you"
Author's Note: I couldn't resist the idea of putting Gwen in a singing contest, why didn't the BBC writers think of that for Jack? It would have been hilarious. Next up is parting of Ways.