AN/... I'm back! My wrist is bandaged, I refused a sling, and I'm not supposed to use it, but hey! I'm using it to write for all you lovely people! At any rate (watch out I feel a revamped portal quote coming)... I have to write all time or I get this... this ITCH =P. Thanks for all the reviews, words cannot explain how happy they make me :'). Whoever wondered if I would write a fanfic about Wheatley going mad (Pretty sure their name was 'Guest' haha and they didn't sign it off so sorry), I've already done a fanfic about that! Only a oneshot, but it's something! I'm kinda working on this at the moment, I'm sure that this story won't be the last you hear of me ;).
Anyway, I'm sorry that I'm now a little behind schedule so the christmas chapters are kinda late, bear with! (An extended Christmas is my belated christmas present to all of you amazing people who read this)! Happy new year, and I really hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 15 - "Can we keep him?"
Wheatley POV - White concrete mixed with huge modern sheets of shimmering glass towered above us, making me feel tiny and insignificant. The building filled me with awe, and my brain whirred and crunched at the thought of all the other smaller buildings inside. Yup, we sure as hell had arrived at Applevale shopping centre. Bloody massive, it really is. Especially since I've never even been to this town before, it was a few boroughs across from our humble village, and met the size requirements of a small city rather than a 'large town'. The sun wavered in the crisp blue sky, unsure whether it would face another visit from its archenemy, rain, today. With the sun's gentle warmth on my back, I took a cautious step forwards, as if the whole mall was about to come alive and swallow me whole.
On the other hand, Chell did not look so surprised. It was safe to assume she had been here before, most likely with some friends, having some girl-time... Whatever. I didn't do 'girl-time', they go all giggly and loud and downright squeal over every cute boy that dared walked past. Ugh, I had witnessed many groups of best girl-friends around the sparse clothing stores back home, and all I could do was take the mick with Rick. Anyway, I was drifting again. Snapping back to reality like elastic, I smiled weakly and grabbed Chell's hand for comfort. Applevale Shopping Centre: it was huge, modern, unlike anything I've ever seen before, and just downright unnerving.
Tugging softly, Chell pulled me towards the entrance (jeez, even the door was tall enough to accommodate an elephant and a giraffe side-by-side), and into the actual building, rather than simply gawping from the outside. Gleaming black tiles lay beneath my feet in a uniform line stretching as far as the eye could see, rimmed either side by hundreds of brightly lit shops, shops for clothes, toys, food, plants, paintings, ornaments, bikes - you name it they had it. Glancing above me unfortunately confirmed that this place stretched infinitely upwards as well, and I groaned aloud, attracting the bemused attention of a few strangers who milled nearby. The place was considerably jam-packed now I come to think of it.
"What's wrong?" Chell whispered, rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand and gazing at my face anxiously.
"This place is ginormous! Don't lose me!" I quivered, afraid of being left all alone.
"We'll be fine, how could I ever misplace you," Chell smiled, stopping quickly to peck my cheek with a petite kiss. Not a big one, nor particularly romantic, but it provided motivation enough not to be discouraged by first appearances. After closer observation I did notice a lot of maps dotted about, so hopefully getting lost would prove more difficult than I originally thought. Although who knows, this is me we're talking about.
Wait, wait! I can practically hear you all wondering why the heck I'm at a shopping centre. Yes, stupid old Wheatley didn't put this in chronological order, evidently. Well, it doesn't need to be. Pitstop here and I'll explain. Basically, it was the eleventh of December. Chell had been invited to a Christmas party for her work on the nineteenth. She wanted to get a nice dress for it. Secondly, for some unknown reason my name appeared next to hers on the invitation, God knows who made them, so she invited me to come too. And apparently I have to dress formally too. It sucks.
Anyway, we were going to go shopping for clothes to wear. Chell said we could maybe go to a nice cafe or something to grab some lunch, then in the afternoon if we had finished our actual mission of buying formal party outfits, we could just browse the place. And now, you're asking, what does dumb old Wheatley know about Christmas? I'll have you know my human form is older than one year old, I celebrated the twenty-fifth last year. I gave Chell a necklace, she gave me a new jacket, I gave Rick some chocolate, he gave me nothing... Well you know how it works.
Of course we had come here to buy nice outfits for the party, but I got distracted almost immediately. Curiosity overcame the fear, and soon I was the one dragging Chell around, trying to entice her into every single shop we encountered, and believe me there were a lot. However, I was pretty lenient on whether the outcome included my entering the store, apart from when I found a really massive one unlike any other I have ever seen in my whole entire life.
Ceiling-height glass boxes lined the window displays, and inside these little boxes with fake grass flooring... Puppies! Brown puppies, black puppies, spotty puppies, block-coloured puppies, puppies with blue eyes, puppies with brown eyes, the list could grow forever. They were adorable, licking the glass with short pink tongues, pulling each others tails and ears, my heart thudded with affection for the baby dogs. This time I didn't ask Chell for permission to enter, and walked right in, a little bell on the door singing happily at my grand entrance. She did however, run after me, and so we both ended up gazing with wonder at all the different creatures that lay within. It was a pet shop! And a big one at that!
Cats, dogs, fish, guinea pigs, hamsters, rabbits, snakes, lizards, even these little water-dweller things called terrapins. I had never seen so many animals in one place, not ever. In fact, I had only seen most of them on the TV, apart from the few cats and dogs I see milling around our street, some with, and some without their owners. My jaw dropped, this place was... Epic. Epically awesome. Every awe-filled word on the planet, they must all gather here. I think I liked the puppies best, or maybe the kittens, perhaps even the little guinea pigs. The terrapins, well not so much. Sure, they didn't look too bad, and they couldn't help it, but they lived in water. Yuck. Chell was watching me, trying not to burst out laughing, though I wasn't so sure what was funny. Perhaps my infantile reaction to a bloody pet shop, or maybe my evident decision to keep away from the water tanks on my far left. I didn't even care.
"Can I have a-"
"No," Chell interrupted.
"Puppy?"
"No."
"Just a little one?"
"No."
"Why not?" I whined, really acting the half my age.
"Because you're not responsible enough!"
"You let us have a baby!"
"And look what happened to that!"
Okay, I'll admit that brief comment from Chell stung, though it was nothing but the truth. Of course I didn't want an argument, I wanted a pet. So I took it in, let it burn a few layers off my heart, and released it from my mind.
"What about a kitten?" I pleaded.
"No."
"Hamster?"
"No!"
"Guinea pig?"
"No!"
"Fish?"
"Shut up Wheatley. No."
"But-"
"What part of shut up do you not understand?" Chell scolded me, pushing the shop door open and leaving. Of course like the sheep I am, I followed, leaving the tiny puppies with their pleading eyes behind.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked gently, following a silent Chell. No reply.
"Chell?"
"No... I'm not mad," Chell murmured, smiling and grabbing my hand. I pushed a long stream of air from my mouth, relieved.
"What's wrong then?"
"I feel bad. For saying that stuff."
"You mean, you didn't really honestly mean 'no'? I can have a pet?" I squealed happily, eyes gleaming.
"No! Just what I said about the baby."
Oh. My gleam was put out, the grin dropped. "That went in and out of me luv, I don't mind. You had a right to be angry, I'm a pain in the neck sometimes," I owned it, smiling again.
"You sure?"
"Absolutely one hundred percent guaranteeing you!"
All tension cleared, we carried on our search. Before long we winded up in this posh department store, with racks and racks of dresses and suits. Chell offered me suit after suit after suit. I offered each one a rude comment or a firm no.
"It looks like something a... Geek would wear!" I complained at the tenth suit. It was pure black with a traditional white shirt and a tie.
"No it doesn't! Do you even know what that is, or are you just trying to think of every insult you have ever heard Rick say?"
"Second option..." I muttered, defeated.
"Okay, go try this on then."
Physically trying it on proved difficult, and not because I was stubborn. How the heck do you make a tie go into a knot?! Ugh, it ended up curled in a ball in the corner of the changing room as I opened the curtain to show Chell, who was waiting patiently outside.
"Where's the tie," her eyes narrowed, and I blushed.
"Well... I... Er... Sounds stupid but... I er... Couldn't work out how to tie it."
She smiled sympathetically, picking it up from my discarded clothes on the floor, and, hands moving like lightening, she wrapped it around the collar of my shirt and knotted it perfectly.
"Oh... Er thanks luv. Do you like it?"
Chell tipped her head on one side questioningly, then pulled a face and shook her head. I smiled happily, because I didn't like it either. After a moment of contemplating, Chell fished my black jeans and casual white shirt from the floor, took off my jacket, and folded them all on top of each other.
"Try this as an outfit."
So I did.
The mirror glittered before me, revealing the latest outfit. My own jeans and shirt held a beautiful sense of casual familiarity, but the suit jacket gave it a new sleek that wasn't there before. Granted, my lanky body held no shape, and the jacket was baggy and slightly short on the sleeves, but you could hardly tell. I think this was the best bet, better than a suit at any rate. With a dramatic flourish, I whooshed open the curtain for Chell to see. With a happy grin, she nodded enthusiastically.
"That's it! Perfect!"
"You think?"
"Definitely! You don't like suits, do you?"
"No," I smiled. She knew me so well, it was a beautiful sensation.
"My turn to find an outfit," Chell grimaced. I don't think she was a particular fan of dressing up either.
Okay, so I thought I was bad at choosing clothes! Everything Chell tried on looked astonishingly gorgeous to me, but to her nothing was quite right. One made her look 'fat' another made her look 'shapeless' one made her boobs look 'too small', she was a complete and utter nightmare. And if the bloody thing didn't make her look imperfect, it apparently clashed with what I would be wearing! Who would have known black and white could ever clash, seriously!
"They all look nice, hurry up and grab any!" I complained, annoyed.
"I can't," Chell retorted, getting slightly frustrated at me too. "Go if you're that bothered, I'll call you when I'm done."
"I will!" My voice raised of its own accord, and I felt instantly guilty. To make up for it, I handed her my battered brown leather wallet.
"Use mine," Was all I said, before kissing Chell's nose and leaving the store before my soppy side took pity and returned for more stand-around-doing-nothing-whilst-Chell-flapped-around-in-a-dress-shop torture.
No prizes for guessing where I winded up. The pet shop again, of course. It was so tempting to get a puppy now Chell wasn't strictly forbidding it in my ear. Well, she still forbid it, but without anyone here to enforce that rule, I found my obedience slipping. The problem - I didn't actually have my wallet. No wallet means no money. No money means no pet. Unless...
One puppy in particular caught my eye. He had a thick coat, sandy coloured, with a black patch over one eye. His little tail wagged happily, and tiny black and pink paw-pads pressed against the glass longingly. I could almost see a halo whizzing around his head. A long pointy tongue licked the glass mournfully, probably wishing it was my hand. So, I looked around. The shopkeeper was out back, sorting cans of cat food into pyramids. She couldn't see me, and wouldn't be done for a while. I wasn't even sure she knew I was here. So carefully, and ever so gently, I lifted the tiny puppy from his glass cage, hugging the ball of fur against my chest securely. His tail wagged faster, I'm surprised it managed to stay on.
That little pink tongue darted onto my hand, and I grinned as the puppy scampered up my chest to lick my throat and chin affectionately. Ugh, it was like falling in love all over again, this time with a puppy. And no, not in a romantic way. Just in an 'awww I found my perfect little buddy' sort of way. The stupid half of my brain generated another terrible idea, although it did hold some appeal, because the outcome - if I succeeded - would be having the dog. It was on the other hand very risky, and I didn't want to get caught.
As quietly as possible, so as not to alert anyone, I zipped up my jacket halfway, and gently placed the tiny puppy inside, cradling him softly. At first he kicked, but then he settled down and didn't move. Apart from adding a few pounds to my waistline, you could never tell I had an animal down there. Problem sorted, mission accomplished, I had a pet! However, I wasn't sure how long he would stay mine, because Chell seemed pretty adamant I wasn't able to look after one. I had the love in me to rescue my puppy from that minuscule glass cage where he got constantly harassed by other dogs, didn't I? If I can do that, surely I've beaten the hardest part? Half of me wasn't so sure.
My mind scrambled to remind me that something wasn't right here as I sneaked out the store. But I couldn't put my finger on it. A word sprung to mind - stealing - but I couldn't actually remember what it meant. Maybe it was similar to borrowing? Before, I borrowed Rick's game console, and he freaked out because I forgot to ask him first. Then I told him, and he stopped worrying and didn't even care. So I'm ninety-nine percent sure this is all okay. Although a gut instinct told me not to admit this 'borrowing' to anyone else, which is odd. Stealing... Is it wrong? For the life of me, I couldn't recall.
All of a sudden, my phone started vibrating in my jacket pocket, causing the poor puppy to squirm slightly. Ignoring the fact that to the unsuspecting public I would look like I had a self-repulsing stomach, I fished the berserk little thing out, and held it to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked, though I knew it could only really be Rick or Chell. Most likely the latter, since she promised to call me when she had finished shopping.
"Hey, Wheatley." Yup, Chell's amazing voice rang in my ear, and a grin lit up my face.
"Hi luv, how's it going?"
"Great!" She exclaimed happily. "I found a dress! The queue is kinda long though, but after that we can leave the bags in the car and go out to eat somewhere."
"Car?" I questioned. Neither of us could drive, and we didn't even own a vehicle.
"I didn't tell you? Oh, well Rick texted me, he said he's bored and he's meeting us here. He'll be with me in about five minutes, he's gonna give me his spare car key and go 'exploring'. Then when we're done, he'll drive us home."
"Cool!" I grinned even wider. I could ditch the dog in the car, since Chell would pick up on my tummy moving immediately - she's got an eye for that sort of thing. S'all good, s'all good.
"I'm in the same shop you left me in so could-"
"I'm on my way!" I cut her off, starting to hurry towards the big department store again. "Love you!"
"Love you too Wheatley. Bye." And Chell hung up, leaving me smiling into the phone like a lunatic.
In the heat of the moment 'visit' to the pet shop, I had completely forgotten just how giant this shopping centre truly is. However, just as I started to panic if I might be lost, a familiar voice called to me from across the mall.
"Wheatz!" Rick called, heading towards me and pulling me into a quick hug, unsuspectingly crushing my waist. It emitted a surprised yelp, and I copied the strange sound again, to cover up.
"You feeling alright?" Rick asked, eyebrow raised. "You just... Squeaked."
"You just... Er... Surprised me, yeah! You just gave me a shock, so I yelped. Bit odd, so sorry. It's just, you don't usually hug me," I rambled, desperately trying to protect my dog's backside. Rick bought it at least.
"So, I hear Chell got you shopping for fancy clothes, huh?" He nudged me, laughing. "You hate suits, how did that go?"
"Ehhh," I muttered vaguely, tipping my hand backwards and forwards in a so-so gesture.
"That well, huh? What's the special occasion anyways, you guys tied the knot or something? I didn't get an invite!"
"What knot?" I frowned, baffled. I had no idea what Rick was talking about.
"Oh, never mind," he sighed, rolling his bright green eyes. "What's the occasion, if you can manage to answer that?"
"Course I can!" I retorted, giving him a gentle shove. "Some Christmas party Chell's been invited to, she wants me to come."
"Ooh, a fancy-shmancy top hat party, eh? I prefer raves, myself."
"Since when have you ever been to a rave?" I demanded, discreetly allowing him to lead the way, since I wasn't one hundred percent on what direction to go.
"A while ago," Rick waved his hand, obviously ignoring any indication of time. I accepted this as him lying, and said no more.
Rick navigated us to Chell easily, and I grabbed her in a giant hug as we crept into the queue with her.
"So, what did ya get?" Rick clamoured, pointing to the dress draped over her left arm. She held it up, and my mouth fell open. Wow. It was beautiful, white and cut so it would rest just above the knee, with little white beads encrusting the neck line and bodice with cute pearly flowers. My hand reached out to touch it, whilst Rick wolf-whistled.
"Niiiice," he commented in admiration. "You're a lucky man, Wheatz."
"I am," I sighed, struck dumb for a moment. How did someone like me wind up with somebody as kind and beautiful and amazing as Chell? Now, there's one mystery nobody could ever solve.
The queue was unnaturally slow, as well as long, and Rick provoked me into our bored lets-act-like-children routine, which I think annoyed Chell. We started wrestling, attempting to grab each other in a headlock or push the other one away from the line. Our laughter and shouts could probably be heard a mile away, but we didn't honestly care. It was fun. Some humans are just too serious in this world.
"Do you have to fight right now?" Chell sighed, grabbing Rick around his waist with one arm and pulling him away from me.
"Yeah!" He answered her question sulkily, standing up straight and rubbing his hands on his trousers for no reason. At least, I don't think they were dirty or anything, I could be wrong.
"Hey, leave Chell alone," I said in a casual but stern tone, patting her back softly.
"Leave Chell alone, huh?" Rick laughed, and punched me lightly in the stomach. I kicked his shins, and pretty soon we were at it again, trying to knock each other over completely.
For me, the queue went surprisingly quickly, but that was probably because I was having a good time mucking around with Rick. Perhaps for Chell it went a little - Or a lot - slower. At any rate, eventually we winded up outside the shop, and I literally just remembered about the puppy in my jacket and how I had been fighting with Rick and it hadn't made any noises or moved at all, which wasn't normal. I patted my stomach worriedly, to feel nothing but my own flesh underneath the material.
"Oh God..." I muttered under my breath, running my hands down my sides as if the rascal could have realigned himself to somewhere else on my person. I should be so lucky. He must have escaped in the shop for fear of being crushed during the fight. I am totally crap at being a pet owner, why didn't I listen to Chell when she said I wasn't responsible enough? I mean, it's not like she's ever wrong in comparison to me. Speaking of Chell, she looked up at me, a confused expression planting itself amongst her smooth face.
"Wheatley, what's wrong? You look really worried, and your cheeks have gone all flushed," Chell asked me, trying to analyse my thoughts and feelings.
"N...no...nothing," I stammered, looking down and to the left nervously. Not much was happening there, just the same old floor tiles shining gleefully, revealing a dodgy outline of my reflection. Intelligence dampening core could sum up my brain right now. Chell glanced at me, and looked away quickly. Unfortunately, not even she knew what to do with me.
"I... Erm... I feel like an idiot for saying this, but I actually think I dropped my phone back in there," I lied, shifting my balance and trying a weak fake smile. "You two go to the car, and I'll meet you in like ten minutes."
"You want us to help?" Rick grinned, standing up straighter at the very thought of any type of mildly adventurous scenario.
"No!" I interrupted quickly, earning two very startled gazes. "I mean, no, it's fine. I'd rather look myself, more focused, if you get me."
They both nodded, agreeing with my made up excuse, and headed off together, chatting and relentlessly teasing each other like a pair of squabbling siblings. With an anxious smile, I waited for them to turn the corner, then bolted back into the department store, eager to find the puppy and put my mind at rest.
Honestly, I didn't have to look for very long. I was stopped as soon as I entered by some security guard with enough muscles to lift a lorry. He looked like he hadn't shaved in a while, so thick, wiry stubble lined his cheeks and chin, and I took one step back from this intimidating person.
"Have you lost a puppy?" He asked, voice deep and stern.
"Well..." I muttered, really not liking the looks of this bloke.
"Have you?" His tone was demanding, and certainly not one to be messed with.
"Yes. Sandy coloured, black patch over one eye."
The grumpy man stormed off, and I assumed I had to follow, so set my pace gingerly, a few metres behind him. I don't like the thought of my puppy being left with this titan. We came to a door marked 'staff only', and the security guard motioned for me to stay put whilst he charged inside. After a few tense minutes, just as I began to consider going in there myself, the man reappeared, put of breath and holding my squirming puppy at arms length.
"My dog!" I grinned, grabbing the little ball of fur and holding it close. "Thank you!"
"Dogs aren't allowed in here. He ran a mockery of everybody, and some of our customers left because they are afraid of dogs, or allergic to dogs. Get out!" With every utterance of the word 'dog' he spat and prodded my arm furiously. Great, I would probably end up with a bruise there later, another thing to have to make an excuse about.
"Sorry mate, I-"
"I am not your mate! Leave right now before I drag you and your deranged mutt to the police station!"
"Whoa! Calm down, I'm going!" I exclaimed, backing away before eventually turning my back on the stranger and slipping out of the oversized exit. That was a little too close. I never will get used to the hostility within some humans. Although, perhaps I should be more cautious in the future; my puppy is obviously one for trouble. Or 'adventure', as Rick so fondly calls it.
Speaking of Rick, I suppose I should go find him and Chell. And somehow smuggle my dog into the car without being caught. Now there's a challenge. Until then, I put the puppy back in my coat and hoped he wouldn't make another daring escape. However, can't say I'd blame him, I mean I remember all too well being trapped - in that glass box back in Aperture... Whilst Chell was being tortured... I shuddered at the memory, my mind stained with all the blood and tears shed that day. No, now was not the time to start worrying, or hallucinating, or breaking down... Or worse. I need to get a lock-down on my thoughts - one hundred percent clearance of Aperture. Well, ninety-nine percent, some of those times were alright. Meeting Chell, for example. Apart from that, my life would be a lot easier if I tried not to think of That Place.
"There you go, daydreaming again," I muttered to myself, then chuckled softly. "And now you're talking to yourself, first sign of madness that is, Wheatley."
With my insanity clearly intact, I slowly made my way back to the car park, which was a tedious journey for me, since I had to keep stopping to inspect maps. Honestly, my sense of direction isn't so good. But, taking that in my stride, like water under a duck's back, (was that the correct terminology? Maybe it was water off a bridge?), I did eventually reach my destination. Like a sat-nav. Satellite navigation, I wonder if I ever used to show up on one of those, being so close to all the satellite dishes up in space. Well, perhaps not, that wouldn't make much sense. Still, an interesting thought for the uninterested human population.
"Wheatley! What took you so long?" Rick called to me, waving me over.
"I... Er..."
"Got lost? It's okay, it happens," he reassured me. Wait, what?! Rick... Reassuring? When did that occur? Something bad must have happened. Hopefully not too bad.
"Wheatley," Rick began, coming a little closer towards me. "Chell said she would meet us back here at one, she wants to go home but she needs to buy some food for lunch etcetera etcetera, so we have half an hour. What d'ya wanna do?"
"Oh, okay, that's fine. Erm, what to do, what to do?" I asked myself thoughtfully. "You can pick, I'm not too bothered. Try to stay within reason though!"
An unnatural kick walloped my stomach, and I looked down in shock. Do I have to tell Rick about my puppy, so I can put him in the car whilst Chell's away? He wouldn't object... Would he?
"Rick, can I tell you something... A secret... Something you can't tell Chell?"
"Sure mate, what is it?" Rick smiled, however his eyes looked slightly concerned. He's being a surprisingly good friend. Unlike me, upon a single glance at my friend I noticed the scar beneath his nose, where I punched him. Although, in saying that, I've got an equally obvious one in the upper corner of my lip, so we are kind of even.
"Rick, what's it called when you take something that doesn't belong to you without their permission?"
"Stealing. Why?"
"Yeah. I sort of, kind of, accidentally stole a puppy."
His green eyes widened as he did a double take."You did what!"
"Well, it wasn't stealing per se, I mean, I didn't pay for it sure, but that's because I was offering a good service, yeah. They should have been paying me, if I'm honest. They had dogs in tiny glass boxes, piled up like stacking chairs, all climbing on each other, you know, back-to-back, or tail-to-tail, however you see it. Horrible. So I saved one from a fate worse than death, I'll tell ya."
"Wheatley!" Rick scolded, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "When will you learn?"
"Learn what?"
"You're hopeless, you know that? Where did you even put the poor creature?"
Watching Rick carefully from the corner of my eye, I gently lifted my doggy from my jacket, cradling him against my chest.
"That is so adorable!" He cooed, stroking behind the puppy's ear. "But wrong. You shouldn't steal."
"I know, I know. If I promise not to steal again, can I keep him?"
"I don't live with you man, that's down to Chell!"
"Wasn't planning on telling her, she doesn't think I'm responsible enough for a pet... After what happened with the... the baby."
"She actually said that?" Rick murmured, looking up from my dog and into my eyes. I nodded.
"Damn, that is harsh. Well, perhaps not the responsibility bit, you're a little...Irresponsible... But ignore whatever she said about the baby. You are totally smart enough, more than you need to be to start a family. Just please, never forget that what happened was an accident. For me? I feel terrible about how I acted, it's the least I can do."
"Wow, thanks mate. That means a lot." I grinned, opening the car boot and placing the wriggly puppy inside.
"So, have you named him? Or her?" Rick quickly lifted the puppy into the air. "Him. Have you named him?" he amended, looking up at me expectantly.
"Not as of yet."
"Any thoughts?"
"Nope. You can name him. Within reason of course, no stupid adventure names."
"Oh, erm, okay. Call it Wheatley, he has your butt," Rick laughed, and I couldn't help but crease up too.
"Why thank you for that. But c'mon, seriously now, this little guy needs a name."
"Erm, I dunno! Russell?"
"Russell," I smiled. "He looks like a Russell."
"Hey look, Russ is wagging his tail in agreement," Rick laughed, sitting on the edge of the car and being licked to death by a very excited little puppy.
"More like wagging his tongue, look at it go! And seriously, 'Russ'? Do you find a shortened version of every name, because you've already come up with 'Wheatz' and now it's 'Russ'. You'll try and shorten Chell's name next!"
"Naah, I leave one syllable names alone usually."
"Usually..." I repeated with an affectionately exasperated sigh.
"Oh, crap!" Rick suddenly muttered, looking at his watch. "S'nearly one, Chell will be here any minute. What exactly do you plan to do with the dog?"
"Urhm, he can sit in the boot right?"
"What, and we just pray she doesn't see him?" Rick flicked his eyebrows in an upwards frown.
"Yeah. Sounds plausible."
"Okay, but if he poops in my car I will kill you."
"Why me? Why not Russell?" I questioned, thoroughly confused.
"Because I like dogs," Rick smirked, closing all the doors to his car with a loud thud.
"You don't like Wheatleys?" I pretended to look hurt, eyes large and hopefully somewhat puppy-like.
"Sometimes," Rick chuckled, and as our eyes met, we burst out laughing.
Neither of us noticed Chell approach, and it was quite a shock when her voice cut through the noise of our rowdy guffaws.
"What's so funny?" She demanded, smiling inquisitively.
"Him!" We both cried in unison, pointing to the other, then laughed again, punching fists.
"Glad you're both having fun. Did you find your phone Wheatley?"
"Erm... What?" I asked, seriously baffled. "What are you talk-"
"He did," Rick interrupted, jabbing my ribcage hard and muttering something along the lines of 'dog'.
"Oh right yeah, found it, I found it luv," I breathed out, all in a rush, tripping over my words like a clumsy person would hurdles. Chell rolled her deep grey eyes, and pushed through our guard to open the boot.
"Wait!" Rick suddenly yelped, pressing his arm over the back of the car. "I'll put the shopping in there, you can just get in the car."
"That's kind..." She looked between us suspiciously. "Thank you. I think." And just like that, she let us be, and walked slowly round to the front of the car.
"Phew, that was close!" I told Rick aloud, and he shoved me hard. "Shh!" He whispered, and placed the bag of edibles next to an extremely hyper Russell. "He won't eat it, will he?"
"Do dogs eat bread?"
"Dunno. Think they eat anything," Rick informed me, looking at my puppy and frowning slightly.
"Hmph. C'mon, I wanna go home. And incase I don't have a chance to say this later: look after Russell well! No funny business with him, he's a dog - not a person or a toy!"
"Yes. I will," I sighed outwardly, acknowledging Rick's warning, and turned to join Chell in the car. Rick followed, starting the engine quickly and pulling away from Applevale Shopping Centre.
Chell POV - Rick and Wheatley had been acting odd ever since I returned. I shouldn't leave those two by themselves, they get into so much trouble. But on the other hand, they're not kids, despite their immaturity. However, I feel some sort of responsibility to look after them, because Rick and Wheatley are best friends, and both of them are equally clueless. Someone has to stop them from playing in traffic or causing other forms of mass destruction.
At any rate, as soon as Rick parked, the boys leapt at the chance to unpack the car, and sent me off to 'rest inside'. God knows what had gotten into them both. Then, Wheatley kept shooting Rick questioning looks. The only thing that had not changed was how they wolfed down lunch and ran off, except they ran off upstairs, which was odd. Usually Rick encourages Wheatley to go do some dangerous or extreme activity. Rick stayed for dinner, and then left. Wheatley ran upstairs again, which surprised me most. Usually he hovers around, getting in the way as I tidy the kitchen, sitting on the work tops or deciding he wants to hug it kiss me when I'm halfway through washing up. I shouldn't complain, he means well. I never thought I'd miss him getting under my feet, it was really weird of him to not be.
Wheatley POV - I had set up camp in the bathroom, sitting cross legged on the floor with Russell scampering around having a whale of a time. I only left him to eat, which definitely aroused suspicion. Although, I'm sure Chell wouldn't investigate. Or rather, I hoped.
"What are you doing? No, don't try and climb that! It's a toilet! Where humans... You know. Or you don't know, being a dog and all. Well, anyway, stop mucking around!" I told him, pulling the fidgety puppy onto my lap and stroking him gently. "Do you ever sleep Russell? Nap time? You've been running around all day! Go to sleep, eh, for me?"
In reply, Russell tugged on my shirt sleeve, getting it all wet with his slobber. "Yuck! I like this top! Get off!"
He tumbled from my lap, claws skittering across the wooden panels, and barked twice, quite loudly.
"Nono! Shh! You'll make Chell come up here and-"
"And what?" Chell suddenly interrupted, hearing me from the bottom of the stairs and starting to jog up them.
"Gah!" I cried, looking for a place to hide Russell.
"Wheatley, what are you doing in there? Who are you talking to?"
"No...nobody. Well, obviously somebody, but... Myself. Talking to myself."
"So you won't mind me coming in then?" She asked sternly, right outside the door, about to enter
"I... Erm... I... But... Wait..."
Glaring at the door in desperation confirmed I had forgotten to lock it, so I was pretty screwed. Chell opened it, knowing I always forget about locks, and gasped.
"Wheatley!" She shouted, looking at the sandy-coloured puppy hiding behind me, frightened. I grinned innocently, readying myself to get told off. Well, here goes nothing.
"Can we keep him?" I asked, smiling.