AN: Thanks for the reviews. I really love reading what you guys think. I know Haley was being a little harsh to Nathan last chapter, and all the other ones, but he has hurt her in the past. She's just protecting herself. She hasn't seen these people in over nine years so she doesn't know how they've changed because of her. Don't worry, she'll come around. I think everything comes out this chapter and you'll know what happened between the two of them all those years ago. You'll also know why she's back in Tree Hill. Please read and review!
Quote of the Day:
Lois Lane: [to vet] We call him Clarky.
Clark: We do not call him Clarky.
Lois Lane: Is it the "y" part you don't like? Because, we could always just make it "Clark." But then that would get really confusing, and, hey, maybe you should consider changing your name. You could be "Skipper."
Chapter Six –It's All Coming Back to Me Now
She walked confidently into Karen's Café. After a long morning of listening to Taylor talk about J.B. and the 'awesome' party last night, she needed to get out of the house. It seemed that her sister took a liking to this Jonathan Blake. She had made the mistake of calling him that this morning and the look she got was priceless. Needless to say, the boy hated his name and preferred to be called J.B. She had agreed when Taylor glared at her. She didn't want trouble with those two. They were both bad news. Hell, anyone that was friends with her "Wild Child" sister was bad news. She had made a mental note to stay away from them as much as possible. They were always all over each other.
She had a huge headache when she woke up this morning but the knowledge of how she got it was a little fuzzy. She didn't remember much about last night except that she had fun. She was just grateful that she made it home alone and that she didn't do anything stupid. It was an impulse to go out last night and she was happy that she did. Taylor and JB didn't even know that she left. It was a little overwhelming being back here again and seeing everyone.
After coffee with the two of them, her mother had called to check in. She then had filled Haley in about Utah and how much fun they were having. She had to give it to her parents. They loved to travel anywhere.
Now, here she was, Karen's Café. The place looked exactly the same and she smiled as she took a good long look around. Her eyes landed on the large map and she walked over to it. Her hand reached out and she traced some of the names that she had placed on their long ago. A second later she glanced at the sign that she used to find comfort in.
Somebody told me that this is the place where everything's better and everything's safe.
It used to be, she couldn't help but think. That was before everything happened. Before her life, as she knew it, was over. That was such a long time ago. Over the years she had craved the comfort of this place. It had been another home away from home. She couldn't count the hours that she spent here working or hanging out with the guys. This had been one of their favorite places to hang out. When they were younger Lucas used to chase her around here on the nights that the café had been empty. She smiled at the memory. It warmed her heart.
The look, the feel, and the smell of the place was all coming back to her. It was screaming one thing all over her body. Comfort. Comfort. Comfort.
Her eyes left the sign and she turned slowly. It was then that she caught a glimpse of Peyton and Anna. Anna was bouncing on Peyton's lap with a fry sticking out of her mouth. Peyton was holding the little girl to her but her eyes were on Haley. She was smiling brightly at her and so was Anna. I guess they find me amusing.
She looked down nervously at Peyton's expression. The girl had just caught her enjoying herself a little too much at the sight of what? Just a café. Way to go, Haley! As if you're not crazy enough!
"Was that a smile?" Peyton asked playfully as Haley took a seat.
Her face flushed and she shook her head. "Just remembering this place, you know. First place I ever worked. Lots of memories here."
"I know," Peyton nodded. "I hope you don't mind." She glanced down at Anna and wiped her daughters' mouth with a napkin. Anna moved her face away from the napkin, trying to keep her eyes on Haley. She smiled brightly.
"Not at all," Haley smiled looking at the little girl.
Anna giggled.
"Hay-wee. Hay-wee."
"Luke had some things to do and Brooke is busy with work. Julian took the boys out for the day and I think Nathan went to help him," Peyton giggled. "The boys can be a hand full and then some."
"Hayden?" Haley asked tentatively. Sure she had only met the boy two nights ago but he didn't seem all that bad. He seemed very calm, in fact. Just like his father. Yep, he was just like his father.
Peyton laughed. "Um, no. You haven't met the twins yet, have you? You know their mother so just imagine where they come from. They're like equal to ten children." She quickly held up her two hands and showed Haley all ten of her fingers as her eyes got big. She wiggled them around and nodded her head before smiling.
"Brooke?"
"Yup," Peyton replied with a grin.
"Brooke Davis?" Haley asked again. A mother? What the...?
"Brooke Baker now," Peyton corrected. "But yeah, Brooke Davis is a mother and a wife. A very good one at that. B. Davis is a freaking Superhero. Once you meet the twins you'll understand." She smiled brightly at Haley.
Confusion was written all over her face. "So the guy…Julian, is her husband?" Haley asked again. She didn't know. She had seen them together the other night, she just didn't know that they were married and she certainly didn't know that they had kids. Nathan had showed up before Brooke could introduce them. When the heck did that happen? You miss a lot when you run! Shut up! Oh, great I'm arguing with myself. Perfect!
Peyton nodded. "Yep. Julian and Brooke."
"Wow," Haley muttered looking down. She noticed a glass of water a few inches away from her menu and she picked it up and took a quick sip. This was a lot to take in. Back in high school Brooke Davis was known for a good time. In fact, if she remembered correctly, Brooke used to hide in the backseat of a guys car naked just to get his attention. Not that she needed to. She was the most beautiful girl to ever walk the halls of Tree Hill High. Brooke had been Brooke, all about partying and guys. Haley hadn't known the girl that well but that was what she was known for.
It had surprised her when Lucas started dating Brooke. It had really surprised her considering that she knew how Lucas had felt about Peyton, which was Brooke's bestfriend. She even called Lucas on it and they fought about it. He went on to tell her about how much fun Brooke was, how she made him laugh, and how she was honest. In that moment he seemed really into Brooke Davis and she couldn't help but respect that. Lucas had been her bestfriend and she only wanted him to be happy. It was then that she accepted Lucas and Brooke. She got to know Brooke a little after that and she felt bad about thinking how nice and easy she was or used to be. That was before Lucas and before Brooke fell in love with him. Before it all happened…
"They're perfect for each other," Peyton said interrupting her thoughts.
She looked up and smiled. They did look good together the other night at Tric. Julian was a very cute guy. She didn't know if they were happy because she didn't know either of them. Brooke did seemed happy, though. "Yeah, I guess."
"So?"
"Yeah," Haley muttered before taking another sip of her water. This was all a lot to take in at the moment. She was still reeling from the other night at Karen's and this wasn't helping things. Being around all of them again was hard.
"You wanted to see me for…?"
"Oh," Haley laughed slightly before closing her eyes. "Right –right." She reached into her purse hanging on the side of her chair and pulled out the CD in the side pocket. She held her hand out over the small round table and handed it to Peyton.
"What's this?" Peyton asked glancing at the CD then she laughed loudly.
Haley's heart dropped. "W-What?"
"Nothing," Peyton said shaking her head, still in fits of giggles. Anna noticed her mothers enjoyment and laughed as well. "It's just…it's just that when Nathan told me that you were asking for me I thought that maybe you wanted to kill me or something." She placed one hand over her mouth to try and stop the laughter. That didn't help.
"Kill you?" Haley asked amused.
Peyton stopped laughing. "I'm sorry. It's stupid. I just thought that since you're upset with Lucas then you're still upset with me for what we did and I just –"
"I'm not upset with you, Peyton," Haley mumbled.
"You're not?" Peyton asked carefully.
"Nah," Haley smiled. "It was a long time ago and I never blamed you. I know what it's like to need Lucas in your life. I mean, it was wrong, what you did. But I'm not upset with you."
Peyton smiled slightly. "Ok, well then what is this?" She held up the CD in her hands.
"I, uh, well, I was at this concert a while back and I met someone. She started talking about how she got her start and she started describing…well you. She told me all about how you helped her, Peyton. Her name was Mia and she's really talented. She was telling me all about the tour that she was on and how much fun it was," Haley explained.
"Yeah, Mia is one of my artist," Peyton nodded. "What has that got to do with this?"
"Your record label," Haley answered. "Red Bedroom Records."
"Uh-huh. Is this of someone you know, someone you want me to sign?" Peyton asked carefully while looking at Haley intently. "Because I will."
"Sort of," Haley muttered nervously. "Uh, me."
"You?"
"Yes," Haley nodded taking a deep breath. "Just listen to it."
"You sing?" Peyton asked smiling. She didn't know Haley James could sing.
Haley nodded as her stomach turned into knots. Anna smiled at her while moving two fries around in her hands. She kept on mumbling Haley's name and she glanced at Anna for comfort. The room was starting to slowly spin and she felt herself losing control. This had been one of the main reasons why she came back. If Peyton said no and laughed in her face then that was it. Everything was depending on Peyton now. Her life.
"Um, yes," Haley answered shyly.
"Really? I don't remember ever hearing you sing," Peyton admitted while handing Anna another fry.
"That's because I didn't back then," Haley shrugged.
"And now?" Peyton questioned while raising her eyebrows.
She smiled nervously. "I had this huge fear of stage fright. I met a guy in New York and he was really into music as well. One day we're goofing around in the studio and we recorded that song. Everyone loved it. So one night were out and having fun and all of a sudden I hear our names being called. Naturally, I start to freak out. Chris…he pulls me up on stage and I start to panic. The place was packed and I start freaking out, like bad. I took one look around and I felt like I was falling. I can't explain it. I turned to Chris and he just smiles at me and says "It's now or never." And then he kisses me. I wanted to run but I didn't. The song started and I just started singing. It felt natural, like, it was right, you know. I wasn't afraid anymore."
"How did it feel up there?"
"Like nothing I've ever experienced in my life. It was amazing," Haley smiled. She remembered that night so vividly. It was one of the best moments of her life. That was the night that she knew that she could do this. She could get up on that stage night after night without the fear of singing in front of people. It felt great to be free of that feeling.
"So, you want me to sign you?"
"No," Haley stated quickly. "I mean, yes. Yes, I do. I just…I need this. I have to do this. I have to prove that I'm good enough. I have to…I need this. You don't have to say anything now just –" she hated how desperate she sounded.
"Yes," Peyton smiled brightly.
Again, she was confused. "But you haven't even heard it," Haley pointed out.
"I don't need to," Peyton answered. "I believe in you and I believe that you can do this. So my answer is yes. We can start working as soon as you want."
"Peyton," Haley started apprehensively. "Don't do me any favors. I don't want it like that. Just please listen to it. If you like it then we can go from there and if you don't then that'll be ok, too. I want this the right way. I want to do this. Just listen to it. Please."
"Ok," Peyton agreed. "But if I say no then you'll leave, won't you?"
"I've got nothing holding me here," Haley shrugged.
Peyton gave her a reassuring smile. "I'll do it."
"So, you'll listen to it?"
"Of course, Haley," Peyton smiled. "Is that what you came back to Tree Hill for?"
She glanced down. "Uh, yeah."
"Is that all?" Peyton added.
She looked up and was met with Peyton's concerned eyes. "Peyton, I –"
"It doesn't matter. Whatever the reason, I'm happy you're here. It's been a really long time, Haley James. We've missed you…he missed you. I'm glad you're back," Peyton said genuinely. "When you left, uh –"
"Peyton," Haley muttered closing her eyes and shaking her head.
"Right, sorry," Peyton said looking away.
"I should go," Haley stated while standing up.
"Wait," Peyton asked looking up worried. "What about lunch?"
She glanced around the packed café. "I'm not really hungry. Just listen to it. You know where to find me when you're done. Take your time. No rush. Thank you for hearing me out, Peyton. I've got somewhere I have to be. I'll see you later." She waved at Peyton and Anna before walking away. She was out of the café a second later and it was only then that her breathing returned to normal. She glanced at her watch for the time. If she didn't hurry she was going to be late.
~***~
She sat quietly in the small office. The room was empty. She flipped through one of the magazines that were there for customers as she waited patiently. She had gotten here five minutes before her appointment and she knew that she would be called into the main office soon. Then she would have to start with someone else again. She would have to start from the beginning and tell them everything. Then they could tell her how messed up she was and maybe help her to fix it.
Right now she was pretty messed up. She wasn't sure if this person could even begin to fix her. She knew one thing. The other night at Karen's with all of them there had gotten to her. She barely slept at all that night. She needed an outlet. Talking to Taylor would do no good. The girl hated these people. Her sister was just going off by the way she had been years ago. That messed up little girl was embedded in her mind and Taylor swore to never forget how she had gotten like that. Ever since then her family had viewed her as fragile. They had been so careful around her after that. They didn't think she noticed but she did. She noticed how when she talked to her mother, her mother never mentioned Tree Hill. They never talked about Lucas her bestfriend. They never talked about anything to do with Tree Hill and she was happy about that. It was what she wanted. She had cut Tree Hill out of her life. To everyone else it seemed like this never happened. It was like she never lived here.
"Haley James."
She looked up and noticed the older woman standing halfway out of her office door. She held a folder in her hand and smiled as Haley glanced at her.
"Yes," Haley answered standing up. The lady opened the door fully and motioned for Haley to come inside. She walked right in and sat on the sofa as the woman sat across from her in a chair. She sat nervously with her hands together on her lap. The office was nice and huge.
"I'm Olivia."
"Nice to meet you," Haley stated as she stretched out her hand. Once they were done she pulled away and sat down as she was before with her hands together. Olivia took the time looking at her before looking in the folder that she held in her hands.
"Why do you want to be here?"
"I think I'm going crazy," Haley smiled with a nervous laugh.
"And why is it that you think that?" Olivia asked relaxing herself back into her seat.
Haley shrugged. "I don't know. Being back here, I guess."
"Back here as in?"
"Tree Hill," Haley answered. "It's been a while since I've been here. It's been over nine years. It's kind of hard being back and seeing people that I…it's just hard."
"Understandably," Olivia nodded.
"Two days ago I saw my bestfriend for the first time since I left this place. He's married now with two beautiful children. I had dinner with his family. It was weird seeing them all again after so long. I can't explain how that felt."
"Nine years is a long time."
"Yep. I became a different person from the one that left all those years ago. At least, I think I did. Just seeing him was really hard and a part of me is still angry at him for what he did. And I don't really know why I came back here. I mean, I want to get my music career started."
"You can do that anywhere. Why here?"
"I know," Haley nodded. "I just felt like I needed it to happen here. Lucas's wife has record label and from what I hear she's really good."
"But you do realize that you can get discovered anywhere? Why does it have to be here?"
"I don't know," Haley shrugged.
"Why did you come back?"
"Uh, the night before my wedding things just started happening," Haley explained.
"Like what?"
"I started seeing signs. Like things that reminded me of this place and the people…that I left. I, uh, it was just really weird because I don't allow myself to think about them and then that night these signs just kept coming and they wouldn't stop. I felt like I was being pulled back here...it was like I didn't have a choice. I was being pulled back."
"Maybe you were," Olivia shrugged.
"That's why I'm going crazy," Haley laughed. "This doesn't make any sense. I don't want to be here and I don't want to see these people. These signs…they drove me to the point to where I was ready to run out on my wedding. I was going to do it."
"Did you love the man you were going to marry?"
"Yeah, I loved Chris. He was like freedom to me. With him, I felt free, like the weight of my past finally wasn't holding me down. It was refreshing. He was refreshing."
"If you loved him then why did you feel the need to run out on your wedding?"
"I don't know," Haley muttered. "I loved him. I did. I loved what he represented to me. But in that room the thought of spending forever with him just got to me. I felt like I was drowning and the only people that could save me were…"
"The people here?" Olivia guessed.
She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess. I kept hearing their voices and seeing their faces in the mirror. You have to understand that I cut these people out of my life so long ago. Why they suddenly reappeared in my thoughts, is beyond me."
"Maybe it was your subconscious telling you that what you wanted was to come back?"
"But I didn't want to come back. I don't want to be here. It hurts," Haley stated holding a hand over her heart.
"Why?"
"Why does it hurt?"
"Yes. Why does being here hurt you?"
"Because of what happened. Because of what they did. Because of how they made me feel," Haley answered.
"And how did they make you feel?"
"Like I was nothing," Haley answered in a whisper. "Like I meant nothing."
"That's why you left? Because they made you feel like nothing?"
"Yes, among other things," Haley muttered. "I don't know why I'm back."
"Why did you leave?"
She laughed nervously. This therapist was a little different from the last one. He had sat there and waited for her to say something first. Olivia had gotten right to the point. She would have smiled at her is she hadn't been so nervous. She didn't just leave Tree Hill, she ran.
"That's a long story," Haley said looking away.
"Lucky for me we've got time," Olivia smiled as she started writing in her folder. She glanced up and waited for her to start. "Whenever you're ready. No one's making you be here."
That was the truth. Before her mother had forced her to go. They didn't want her to be like she was the last time her life fell apart. It was why she hadn't wanted to talk to Mr. Stewart. She didn't want him to know her or her life. This was different. She had wanted to be here. She wanted help. Although, it was Stewart's advice to come back, it wasn't the only reason she came.
"My junior year of high school, my bestfriend Lucas joined the basketball team," Haley explained. "It's how it all started. It was all wrong. I didn't want things to change for us. It had always been just the two of us against the world. Then all of a sudden everyone knows his name and wants to be friends with him."
"He changed?"
"No, not really," Haley mumbled playing with the material on her skirt. "He was still the same Lucas that I knew and loved. At least, to me he didn't change. You have to understand for so long it had been just the two of us. I knew him better than anyone and he knew me just as well. It was hard having things change like that. But I supported him and his love for basketball. I was even proud of him. For so long he just stood there and let things happen and it was the first time that he finally did something for him. He didn't care how things would change…he just wanted to play basketball. And he was so good. He deserved that. Who was I to not want that for him? I wanted him to have it."
"You just didn't want things to change."
She nodded. "Lucas is like this warm force. You can't help but love him. I've always been drawn to him. Even when we were kids. He was just this big ball of comfort for me. I needed him so much. My love for him ran so deep that it just became part of me. I loved him more than I loved my own brothers and sisters. He was that one person that got me. He knew everything about me. He was my guy." She smiled at the memory of Lucas. It was the memory that she kept close to her heart of him.
"And him playing basketball changed things?"
"Everything," Haley nodded. "We sort of started spending less time together. He was busy with practice and games and I was busy with working at his mother's café. But even then we still found time together. It was right after he joined the team when things started to change."
"How so?"
"Lucas's half brother Nathan. They shared the same father. Dan Scott. When I met Lucas and Karen they were all alone. Lucas didn't have a dad and when I asked him about it, he got mad. It was a sore subject. Lucas was sort of raised by Dan's older brother Keith. He was like a father to Lucas. He helped Karen raise Lucas. When Karen got pregnant and told Dan, he told her that he was going away to college. He just left her and Keith helped out. Right after Dan got to college he got Nathan's mother pregnant, too. He married her and raised Nathan. I guess you could say that he picked them. He picked Nathan over Lucas and no one in Tree Hill forgot that."
"So how did Nathan change things for you?" Olivia questioned.
She laughed. How did he not? "Nathan Scott was like the it guy in high school. Typical high school jock. God, he was arrogant and thought that everything revolved around him. Nathan is just months younger than Lucas and he always had everything handed to him, you know. He got whatever he wanted and no one dare get in his way. I hated the guy. Lucas hated him and we did our best to ignore him and his whole world. We didn't want a part of that. He could have all his popularity and Dan Scott as a father. I didn't care."
"It sounds like you do," Olivia pointed out.
"Well, I don't," Haley shook her head. "Lucas joining the team was huge because Nathan was like their basketball God. Everyone fell at his feet and when Lucas joined the team, well, Nathan couldn't have that, now could he? He started doing stuff to Lucas. Calling him names at school, getting into fights, not passing him the ball at practice. The only thing that Nathan wanted was for Lucas to quit the team. But Lucas wasn't going to do that. He couldn't let Nathan and Dan win. It only made things worse because of Peyton."
"Peyton?"
"Nathan's girlfriend and the it girl at school," Haley answered. "He treated her like shit and everyone knew it. They were always fighting and he was always cheating on her. I don't know what she saw in him. I used to feel sorry for her but eventually she took him back too many times for me to care. Lucas was sort of in love with her. He always had been. I didn't see it. She was like the Queen of their world and I didn't understand it. But he was in love with her and Nathan knew he was a threat. I mean, Lucas took his position on the team and then all of a sudden he's talking to Peyton. It just pissed Nathan off more. He had to get even."
"I'll bet. So where are you in all of this?"
"I should have stayed away. I wish I had. I wish I hadn't of cared. I just loved Lucas so much and I hated what Nathan was doing to him. One day I was in the tutor center filing some papers when Nathan walks in. He hands me a paper and says that I'm his tutor. I told him no right away. Lucas was my bestfriend. I couldn't tutor him. He wouldn't stop asking and he called my work and then he came back to the tutor center. He had gotten an F on an exam and he just made me feel bad about it. He said he needed my help but I couldn't betray Lucas like that."
"So you didn't help him?"
"Not at first," Haley muttered looking down at her hands. "But Nathan wouldn't stop and things were getting worse. He got his friends to trash the Rivercourt which is Luke's favorite place in the world. It was bad. They destroyed the Rivercourt without a second though. Nathan would have done anything to get Lucas off of the team. One night I was supposed to meet Lucas at the movies but he never showed. I tried calling him but he didn't answer. It was so not like him to just not show up. The next day I found out that Nathan and his friends had took him and beat him up. They left him in the field with nothing and made him walk home. I was so freaked out after Lucas told me that. I just wanted him to quit so that Nathan could leave him alone. But he swore that he wouldn't and that eventually Nathan would stop. He promised he would. He said that they were just hazing him."
"Did you believe that?"
She shook her head. She hadn't believed it. "No. That's when I knew what I had to do. I went to Nathan's house and told him that I would tutor him if he left Lucas alone. I made him promise that Lucas wouldn't find out and he agreed to lay off. So I started tutoring him."
"I see," Olivia nodded. "And did he stop."
"Not at first but eventually he did," Haley nodded. "Somewhere along the way Peyton finally broke up with him. She and Lucas had started seeing each other. They weren't exclusive but I did see them making out at one of the basketball parties. But something happened and I guess Peyton freaked. Then the next thing I know Lucas is dating Peyton's bestfriend Brooke Davis...it all just came out of nowhere."
"Were you shocked by this?"
"Yes. Yes, I was. Brooke wasn't the girlfriend type and more importantly she was Peyton's bestfriend. I don't know how that happened. But Lucas really liked her and they looked happy. I just wanted Lucas to be happy and if that was with Brooke then good for them. I thought I knew Lucas. I thought I knew him better than anyone. He was always this sweet and kind guy. I really thought that I knew him." She glanced down.
"Didn't you?"
"No," Haley muttered. "I thought I did but when I saw him…him kissing Peyton in the library it shattered that perfect view that I had of him. I was so angry…with him. This was Lucas…this was my guy. And when I saw him cheating with her it just changed things for me. I was so hurt and I felt so bad for Brooke because she was in love with him and he was being a jerk by cheating on her. I didn't know that guy and it hurt me. I was so disappointed." She closed her eyes at the memory. It was hard reliving it and the agony she felt was unbearable.
"Did you talk to him about it?"
"After I cooled down, I went over to call him on it. He started lying right to my face like I hadn't caught him. I told him I saw him. And I told him that he needed to stop because he had a girlfriend. He said that he couldn't and that it was complicated, which it was. I know that. I just didn't want him to be that guy. I wanted him to be my Lucas again. The good guy."
"You're view of Lucas was pretty high, huh?"
"Yeah, he was just this really good guy and arguing with him that night made me realize that he had changed. He wasn't my guy anymore. I told him that if he didn't realize that what he was doing was wrong then I didn't like who he was becoming. Then he just starts blaming me and started saying that I betrayed him. I just go so angry. We have never fought like that before. Never. It was weird yelling at him like that…judging him. I told him –I told him that the next time he saw me not to talk to me."
"Did you mean it?"
"At first," Haley nodded.
"When you said that he told you that you betrayed him, what did you mean?"
"I, uh…When I started tutoring Nathan, we kind of got to know each other. I didn't just tutor him. I got to know him." Her cheeks couldn't help but flush as Olivia nodded with a knowing smile.
"He wasn't the guy you thought he was?"
"No he is," Haley muttered. "But back then he did seem to change. He had stopped treating his brother like crap for…me…or at least I thought it was for me."
"Did you like the Nathan that he was turning into?"
She nodded. No holding back now! Traitor! She hated giving this part of herself away for someone to analyze. These were her memories! The inner battle with herself was becoming too much. How is she supposed to help? Here goes nothing…
"A lot. I really liked him. He was just so different with me…I can't explain it. He didn't treat me like he treated everyone else. He was real. He wasn't the guy that I thought I knew. He was just Nathan, this really sweet guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Nathan's dad was just so hard on him and it kind of made him into this hatful guy but with me he just wasn't that way at all."
Olivia was smiling and it made her stomach drop. She didn't like it. "He was different?"
"Yes," Haley nodded. "And I really liked him. We had been talking so much and I was helping him with school and with Peyton. Then one night out of nowhere I dreamt that we were kissing. I woke up with the strangest feeling. Feelings." She quickly corrected shyly. "That's when I started liking Nathan Scott more than just a friend."
"I see. Did he feel the same?"
"Nathan doesn't care about me, he never has. He only cares about himself," Haley answered while shaking her head. "But back then I thought he did. It was naïve of me to think that he could…I thought I saw something in him but I was wrong. But that stupid little girl just had to fall for him. I'll give him this, he had me fooled. When we went on our first date and his friends walked by he totally made it a point to tell them that we weren't on a date when we were. He was embarrassed to be seen with me." A sharp pain pounded inside of her chest and it made her want to cry out it hurt so much.
"How did that make you feel?"
"Horrible," Haley answered as her eyes brimmed with tears. "I felt like nothing. I had this huge crush on him and I kept putting myself out there and he was embarrassed to be seen with me. But I guess he figured his plan wouldn't work if he didn't convince me that he really liked me so we started dating. I should have known that it was all an act." Tears were rolling down her cheeks now and she hated each one of them for betraying her –for giving into him and what he did.
"Plan? What plan?"
"Oh, you know Nathan's revenge against Lucas. The whole time that I was tutoring and dating Nathan, Lucas hated it. He told me that Nathan was just using me to get to him and I didn't believe it. I just liked Nathan so much and I wanted to believe that he was a good guy but Lucas knew exactly who he was. It turns out he was right. It was all a plan to mess with Lucas. Our whole relationship was a lie." She felt bile at the back of her throat as she said those words.
"A lie?"
"Nathan figured the only way to get back at Lucas was for him to steal me away –to use me. I guess his plan was to make me fall in love with him and then break my heart. He knew how close Lucas and I were so he knew that it would get to Lucas. It was the perfect revenge for him. He knew how much my pain would hurt Lucas. After I had had my big argument with Lucas, Nathan came over. I just wanted to spend time with my boyfriend. And I told him about the fight so that he could comfort me."
"What did Nathan say?"
"He laughed," Haley answered. "I had just told him how heartbroken I was over my fight with Lucas and he laughed. When I asked why, he told me that it was ironic that Lucas was being a jackass because that used to be his role and then he told me that we only started because he was trying to mess with Lucas. It was all a lie!" She was angry now. All of her anger was right on the surface and she wanted to hit him. The tears were falling now and her wall was back up. The armor was protecting her.
"But your feelings were real."
Real for a stupid teenage girl! "I was in love with him and he told me that I was just part of some plan to hurt…his brother," Haley said loudly in frustration. "I couldn't even think I was so hurt. I was hurt so badly that I felt like I needed to be away from here. I couldn't show up to school and see him everyday knowing what he did to me. It killed me. And the fight with Lucas made things worse. I felt like nothing…like nobody cared. I was "tutor girl" and forever would be "tutor girl" and nothing more.
"No one would ever love me and I would be stuck in this stupid town while everyone went off to play basketball and follow their dreams. I made Nathan leave right after he told me that. I called my sister and cried on the phone for an hour with her. I begged her to let me move in with her and after all that crying she agreed. I left."
"Why?"
"Because," Haley muttered. "Because of Lucas…Nathan and everything. He broke my heart."
Olivia didn't say anything but smiled softly before looking at the clock on the wall.
"Ok, we'll leave off right here. Same time next week?" Olivia asked smiling as she stood up. She wrote a few things down in her folder before walking over to the door.
"Same time week," Haley agreed.
"And might I suggest something," Olivia asked while holding the door open.
Haley nodded. "Of course."
"Spend sometime with Lucas. Get to know him again. Maybe the reasons why you left were wrong. He might be the same guy. That faith that you had in him might still be in your heart," Olivia smiled as she pointed to the center of her chest.
"Do I have to?"
She held up her hands. "Just a suggestion."
"I'll think about it," Haley nodded with a soft smile. "Thank you. It's easy talking to you."
"Some people find it easier to tell their problems to a complete stranger. It gives them an outside view on things. We just scratched the surface, Miss James. I'm hoping to help you."
"You sure?" Haley laughed. "I've got a lot of baggage."
"I'm here for whatever you need," Olivia smiled. "I'll see you soon. I'm looking forward to our next meeting." She waved goodbye before going back into her office. Haley smiled as she walked away. It felt good to talk to Olivia. Remembering the past however, still hurt. But it wasn't so bad getting it off of her chest…it wasn't that bad! She felt a little better talking about everything. That had to be a good thing. Now, she needed a drink.
Next chapter has everyone at Tric and a new friendship starts to form!