Chapter Six
The day before was gone... and a new day was here, a new day to search,
not that it mattered. By this time, Aladdin was certain that it was a lost
cause. Jasmine's reassurance had always made it simple to believe, until
now. After all, how could Jasmine feel what he was feeling? She hadn't
been the one to tell Iago to leave; it hadn't been her responsibility.
However, it had been his. It had been his promise that he would never give
up on Iago, no matter how hopeless the situation may seem. He had. He had
not only believed Iago was hopeless, but he had told him so. In some ways,
Aladdin couldn't blame Iago for not coming back. After what he had said...
And that's what he kept telling himself, that Iago was angry, only angry,
and rightly so. He would return; he had to... he just had to. If he didn't,
Aladdin would never forgive himself, and he didn't know what he would do.
There were worse thoughts, thoughts that Aladdin fought to keep in the
corners of his mind. Another lost cause... Jasmine had said it herself; Iago
had never survived outside of the palace. He could never last longer than
a day on his own, with no one to look after him. Look how much trouble
he gets into with us around, Aladdin thought. Iago would never admit
how much he needed someone to guide him, but Aladdin knew. He was somewhat
like a child, still not sure what choices to make or what paths to choose.
He had never survived on his own... The thought was realistic enough, and
sometimes, reality was horrible.
On the other hand, reality was what brought Aladdin to face the day, to
do it all over again, and give it one more try. There was too much at
stake to give up hope now. Iago needed hope, and Aladdin was the only one
who had ever given it to him. Iago needed him now; somehow Aladdin knew
that, although he wasn't sure how. Only one thing was for sure; this was
not the time to give up. If in time reality proved hostile, Aladdin would
never really accept it, but he would try. He would never give up, not for
Jasmine... not for Iago.
He shielded his eyes as he slowly rose to a standing position. The sun
was warm on his bare chest and arms, and he took a moment to let it warm
the cold feeling inside him. Strangely enough, it did. A night of sleep
really had calmed him, had helped Aladdin to find some sense of security
when everything seemed so lost. He watched the sun dance across the floor
and tickle Abu. The sight was as comforting as the blanket of sun. It
reminded Aladdin that all was not lost. There were others who were his
responsibility, too, and they had turned our perfectly; they had enriched
his life and made it more worth living when things seemed to be at their
worst. The ending this time didn't have to be different. Still looking at
the little monkey, he said softly, "C'mon, little buddy, let's get our
minds off of this, at least for a minute or two." Aladdin knew that
everyone had been affected by the loss of Iago, and it wasn't fair to keep
them away from the everyday things that everyone needs. It wasn't fair to
take away everything they knew and expect them to dedicate all of their
day to only him. They needed a break, at least that's what Aladdin
thought.
Abu squeaked quietly as he rolled over to look at Aladdin, who was
standing directly above him, looking at the palace in the light of dawn.
"C'mon," Aladdin repeated. "Let's do something just for you... and for
everyone else."
This seemed to finally snap Abu awake. He leaped up from where he was
lying and scampered over to Aladdin, yelping at him pleadingly the whole
way.
"Abu, what's the matter?" Aladdin asked, confused by the hostile
reaction he'd gotten. Abu just shook his head, ran up Aladdin's arm, and
began tugging urgently on his vest. "What do you want from me?" Aladdin's
voice was somewhere between anger and confusion. Abu continued to pull at
his vest and chirp away, almost begging for something. The sun was getting
higher now, signifying that it was getting closer and closer to noon. As
he followed the sun with his eyes, it finally dawned on Aladdin that their
time was short. He did not have time to argue with Abu over whatever he
was upset about. "C'mon," he said for a third time, plucking the monkey
from his vest. "If you want anything, it has to be right now!" Aladdin's
annoyance was clear.
"No!" Abu yelled, the same annoyance clear in his own voice. He turned
away from Aladdin, tired of trying to convey his point, thinking maybe
Aladdin would never understand.
"Don't you want to do something?" Aladdin questioned again. For the
first time, Abu nodded his head "yes." Aladdin sighed, wanting to be
angry, but finding it hard to be so when looking into Abu's innocent
stare. "Then what?" his voice was softening. He really did want to know
what Abu found so important...
Abu proceeded to grab Aladdin's pant leg and drag him as best as he
could toward the door. "Abu!" Aladdin gasped, shocked and barely managing
to stay balanced on his feet.
"Hewlp," Abu chattered excitedly, "hewlp!" To most people, this would
have meant very little, but Aladdin had known Abu long enough to realize
what he was thinking.
"Awww... Abu, you want to help me find Iago?" He hadn't been expecting
this at all. After all, Abu had been nearly ignored for days now, but
instead of being angry and feeling sorry for himself, he wanted to make
this easier for Aladdin; he was worried about him. What Aladdin didn't
know was that Abu had been worried about Iago, too. Abu smiled a little
shyly. He wasn't able to verbally communicate how he felt to Aladdin, but
somehow, he was sure that Aladdin would be able to read what he was
thinking.
"Abu," he began, now feeling just awful for the way he had treated his
friend earlier. He let his now usually strained voice become soft and
caring. "I really didn't want to do that to you. I'm so sorry; I just
didn't know what I was saying or doing... or even really, who I was doing it
to. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, but everything has
been so messed up lately. I just don't know what to expect from anyone
anymore." He lowered his hand to the floor, and the little monkey rushed
up to his shoulder.
"Aw," Abu muttered, as he patted Aladdin's head softly.
"You're a real pal, ya know that..." Aladdin started.
"Did you say 'pal?' You must be talking about me!" a loud, goofy voice
suddenly broke into the heartfelt conversation. He noticed the serious
look on Aladdin's face. "Oh, c'mon; you'll never get anything done on an
empty stomach. Let's go get some breakfast. Ya know, it's..."
"The most important meal of the day? Yes, I know, Genie," Aladdin
replied, if not a little sarcastically, then very. The genie's almost
always smiling face drooped. Suddenly, Aladdin realized he was doing the
very same thing he had done to Abu. It wasn't fair to treat his very best
friends this way. Although he was growing more worried every moment with
the passing time, he forced a genuinely cheery smile and added, "And
you're right, it is. Let's go get a quick breakfast. Then it's back to
searching, right, Abu?" Abu grinned and nodded in agreement.
"Of course," Aladdin finished with the words they were all thinking,
"I'm starting to miss that little bird."
Days had passed. Iago wasn't sure how many. It was always dark now,
always cold, so unlike Agrabah. No wonder Reena is so pale... Iago
pondered as he looked down on his own brightly colored feathers. I
wonder how long it will be until they have faded, too... Iago loved his
feathers; the colors made him stand out; he'd never met anyone else with
feathers like his, not that he hadn't seen other birds or even other
parrots for that matter, but he had always felt there was something
special about his own feathers. Not anymore... He shivered with that
thought. No one here was special or unique; he'd noticed that in the first
few hours. Everyone was so dull and colorless, both in personality and
appearance. His new family never smiled; in fact, their expression never
changed at all. Their eyes were not empty, though, although Iago wished
with all he had that they were. The eyes were tortured with years of
sadness, but there was no longing to escape it. It was much too clear that
long ago they had given up any chance of ever escaping this never-ending
cycle of tears and shame. If there was one thing that he did have in
common with them, it was the sadness found in their shame. There was so
much that he couldn't really escape either... but something inside him was
different. He wanted out. If only he knew how, and if only he would have
admitted it...
He had spent the last two nights, or rather, what he had assumed were
nights, thinking, trying so hard to forget what he had finally gained in
Agrabah, and now, what he had lost. That was gone; he tried to tell
himself that. Every night his heart ached with the longing to be home...
home? Was he really calling Agrabah "home?" If he was, then what was this
place? It wasn't home... and that's all he knew. He hadn't had the heart to
cry; he was still trying to make the best of a choice, his choice. Now he
was alone in a darkened corner. The others were not far away, only a few
feet from him, wandering the emptiness that they so claimed they were
blessed with. They wouldn't notice him; they never did, and the darkness
seemed so inviting... He felt a trickle of a tear spill down onto his beak
and wished with all his heart for Jasmine... for anyone to hold him as he
trembled.
A sound... a sound from another corner... from another room. In the dark,
it was hard to tell exactly where it was coming from, but it was
definitely there. Iago was taken aback; the silence that had deafened him
was shattered by a soft whisper of a sob. He felt his breath catch in his
throat, almost frightened by the sound of another life, a life that scared
and alone, wanting nothing more than to change that fateful choice it had
made. However, that was not what Iago found in the noise. He found reason
to pull farther into his corner, into his isolation.
The sound was approaching, not quickly, but slowly, closer and
closer...until it was almost upon him. Footsteps, soft and light, tapped
across the ground he assumed was dirt. With that, the sobbing became more
apparent. The louder it became, the more obvious the feeling grew that she
was in great pain and fear and that she needed someone, just as much as
Iago did. "Is someone else here?" a voice trembled. Iago wanted to answer;
really, he did. At the same time, though, he remembered what the last
stranger had brought. What if this resulted in the same outcome? What if
it was worse? Struggling to keep himself quiet, he continued pacing his
breathing to make it harder to tell he was crying. "Pl-please," the voice
asked again with yearning as honest as Iago's. "I-I need someone..." her
last words were pleading, full of wanting and hurting.
Iago couldn't help himself for one more second. He remembered the pain
in his own voice during that last night in Agrabah... at home; he remembered
how much he had wanted only for someone to listen to him and accept his
crying, not question it. He knew how he felt when Jasmine had comforted
him... and how he felt now. Maybe he could feel like he had that night.
Maybe...if only he would answer... "I am here," he drew in a long breath
and answered in a tone so quiet it was barely audible, his voice thick
with tears. "Are you okay?" It took a moment for him to get up the courage
to ask that question. He wasn't sure how the person would react; he wasn't
sure if he wanted to know, but he had to ask. He had to know for once;
this was not a choice.
The silence returned for a moment, lingering, again deafening. Iago
wondered if his question had been too direct, if he had ruined any chance
he had to find someone in this bleak world who would have any idea of what
he was feeling. But then, the voice found itself again, weak and frail,
but there, and that was all that was important. "No," and the words
disappeared into sobbing again. The voice was now clearly that of a child,
a female child, a child who was terrified.
Iago had never been one to comfort those around him; he'd never known
how. It seemed, though, that it was being thrown upon him, and there was
no way to avoid it. Gathering all the courage he had won during this last
traumatic week, he prepared himself to say something; he just didn't know
what. The voice was right in front of him now, so it wasn't difficult to
find the way to it. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, and the form was
now beginning to come into view. It was then that a thought came to him.
Maybe he didn't have to say anything. Jasmine had said so little to him
that night, and yet, it had meant so much. Maybe all she needed was
someone to sit quietly and just listen and to be supportive. Why
couldn't I do that? He could...
His wings shook as he flew the short distance to her shoulder. There
was something special when he perched there, nestling into her chin-length
hair. He moved his head up and down, massaging her cheek and feeling warm,
wet tears run down from her eyes onto his feathers. Instead of being a
rock, the one she could cling to, he let himself continue crying, letting
his tears mix with hers. The girl didn't mind. Through her tears, a soft
smile was forming, and together, the two forged a special bond, neither
knowing the other's name, just somehow knowing their feelings were the
same. The scene went unnoticed by the other occupants of the room, and it
continued for minutes on end.
The tears ran out; they couldn't last forever. The tears had healed
wounds in both their souls, and even in this solemn realm, the healing was
beginning. "Uhhhh... I'm Iago," Iago stuttered, his voice still thick. He
really had no clue of what to say, but felt that he to say something, and
his name was all he could really think of to say.
"Iago," the child repeated softly to herself, as if pronouncing a word
new to her tongue. "Iago, that's a very special name. I've never heard
that." Iago was a little hurt at the comment about his name. It showed in
his features. Apparently, the child was also accustomed to the darkness;
she could see them perfectly. "No, but it's such a wonderful name." Her
voice seemed sympathetic and regretful. Of course, Iago knew from her
voice that she would never do anything to hurt him or anyone else for that
matter, and suddenly, he was the one regretful for hurting her when she
was already dealing with so much in her young life. He thought about how
much it hurt him when people jumped on him for something he hadn't meant
in the way they had interpreted it.
Hanging his head, he said, "Listen, I didn't mean to do that."
She cut him off and looked up into his shadowed eyes, "My name is
Saree."
Iago smiled, "Saree... I've never heard that either, but it's very
pretty." He wasn't used to complimenting people. The concept was new to
him. He wasn't even sure if he had done it right. What if he had insulted
her like she had him?
But the child, or rather, Saree, just smiled in return. "It's nice to
know someone, anyone here."
Iago had to know now. The child was so sweet, so innocent, and she
didn't deserve this. Maybe he didn't either. Maybe if just for once, he
would trust, everything could end once and for all. "Why were you crying?"
Saree just looked at him with wide eyes. "I was thinking the same about
you." Iago was surprised that she was as direct as she was. He'd never had
anyone be so open to him before, but then again, the conditions now
weren't as they had been before. Everything had been turned upside-down,
and maybe he could be more open now, too. The rules had not been made, at
least, not yet.
"I just needed to. There was no one here; there's never anyone here.
Even when there are people around, I'm really alone. I've always been
alone," he struggled to keep his voice from breaking. He expected the
little girl to leave then, to not want to hear any of it. No one ever had.
It was too hard for others to comprehend and really face it, the way
things had once been. But this child, she was brave and sincere. Nothing
about her was afraid to face what Iago was saying. Something about the
understanding in her smile made him realize she knew... she knew exactly
what he had been through, and she had seen.
"You're not alone now," Saree answered, her voice much too wise for her
young age. It saddened Iago in a way to hear the same feelings in her
voice. He had always thought he yearned to hear the pain he had felt from
anyone else, but hearing it from this child, it just managed to pull at
his heart and wish more for her happiness than his own.
In another way, though, his soul felt relief to hear someone say those
words Jasmine had: You're not alone now. "Thank you, Saree; I don't
want to be alone, but now you have to answer me. Were you alone? Why were
you crying?"
Saree's innocent eyes suddenly became blank and empty. "I thought I had
found my way. I was lost in this never-ending sea of people. They were
everywhere, but I was just as alone as you were. Everyday people came in
and out, and they saw me. They looked in my eyes and saw my tears, but
they never saw me. I lived in an orphanage for seven years, and everyday
one more child was taken and one less was left. But then someone found me.
I was found; I was blessed."
"Glorious," Iago finished, "glorious." Maybe in those last words,
things did become glorious... maybe nothing had really changed. The answer
wasn't clear, but something else was; things could be glorious. All had
not been lost, and in the darkness swirling with lost souls, in that one
corner, things were glorious as two lost souls found one another.
Back in the land of the living, things were beginning to take shape.
Darkness was approaching once more, with the tiny group of searchers no
closer to finding Iago than they had been days ago at this time. Hope was
dim. Jasmine's eyes had become tired from lack of sleep, not only because
she was worried about Iago's fate, but for her love's as well. She watched
Aladdin's sleeping form lying restlessly on the hovel floor, and at that
moment, she realized that the search was becoming more and more hopeless
with each passing minute... with each passing second. How long had it been
now? Two, three days? She must have been the only one left awake, the only
one left pondering at this hour. Midnight... that stroke of midnight brought
upon the third day he had been missing. Her heart sunk with the rise of
the moon to the midnight sky. Someone else was awake. In his lamp, Genie
heard Jasmine's sigh. Slowly, half-asleep, he rose out of his golden lamp
and flinched at the light burning in her lantern. "Princess?" he asked,
yawning, "what are you still doing here?" He looked down at a Mickey Mouse
watch. The ears popped up and down while it announced in a cartoon voice,
"Midnight, do you know where your mouse is?" "It's midnight!" he tried to
whisper, while still managing to sound shocked.
"Yes, Genie, I know," her voice was far away and quiet as the desert
night. "I'm, I'm just so worried. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep;
I can't leave him here. He's so afraid."
"Oh, Al will be fine, Jasmine; he's just been through a lot in these
last couple of days. We all have," Genie tried to convince her. She didn't
appear to find any solace in his words, serious as they seldom were. He
focused on doing anything to help her get through this frighteningly
stressful time. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No, Genie..." Jasmine stopped in mid-sentence. It couldn't hurt to ask...
Maybe, there was something he could do. He was their last chance, the only
one who could change the way things were now. "Maybe," she pondered aloud.
"Maybe what?" Genie asked eagerly. Jasmine was quieted in a thought for
a moment. "Jas, please tell me. I want to help you. I'll do anything."
She looked into his eyes and for once didn't see Genie as goofy or
irresponsible; he truly wanted to see a change in Jasmine, in everyone, in
what was happening. "I want you to find Iago. Not only for him, but for
Aladdin, and as selfish as this may sound, for me." The Genie's eyes grew
wide, and strange as it felt, he had nothing to say in reply. How could he
tell Jasmine he couldn't? She was counting on him in a way she never had
before. She had only known him for a short time, and she trusted him with
one of the most important aspects of her life: Aladdin.
"Jas... Jas, I-" the Genie struggled to say what he knew was true.
"Shhhh..." she cut him off. "Don't be that way, Genie. You have to
believe, because no one does anymore. If you can't, then no one can.
Nothing will ever be the same; Aladdin will never be the same." Her eyes
pleaded for an answer he couldn't give, "Please, Genie, please. I need
you."
He shook his head, knowing what he should say, but not having the heart
to say it. "I can try, Jas. That's all I can do. I can try."
"Trying is all we have left," her words were heartfelt and weighed down
with sadness. "It's all we have."