AN: Thanks for everyone's support & reviews, as always, and thanks to my betas: tamelaine and CallistoLexx, as well as my honorary beta, The Twinster (Debussy-This). Songs for this chapter are up on my profile.
Enjoy!
EPOV
I knew what Bella was trying to do. I knew it and I was doing nothing to stop it.
Did she think it was easy for me to tell her no whenever she begged?
Because it wasn't. Whenever she begged, I wanted her to be on her knees, with me behind her, her luscious ass swaying in my line of vision until I broke down and finally slammed into her.
Not good, I told myself, don't go there or you're going to have her on the floor in approximately five seconds.
I couldn't even think about the "lunch" we'd had a few days ago. Even the briefest thought of it sent every blood molecule in my body rushing to my dick. I still didn't know why I'd been stupid enough to say no to Bella's thinly-veiled suggestions that we both ditch the rest of the day and go back to her place. Of course I'd been interested, but even more than I'd wanted her; I wanted her to know that I cared.
I could still see myself, complete with HD picture quality, telling her no and the way her face had fallen at my evasions. What was I supposed to tell her? I like you too much to screw you right away? I want you to know how much I like you first? I couldn't tell her that. I'd sound like the biggest girl since Lance Bass. No good.
Right now, we were just finishing up what could possibly count as one of strangest dinners I'd ever had. Between good ol' Walt Disney and the lesbian in Chasing Amy, I was feeling like I'd been drop-shipped to some surreal cultural reference convention.
Really, at this point, with all the undercurrents at the table, Bella and I having sex on the floor of the restaurant in front of everyone wouldn't be that big of a surprise. With her rubbing up on me through the last half of the meal, it was amazing my control hadn't snapped yet. Though I supposed the dinner wasn't totally over and anything could viably happen in ten minutes.
As I watched the waiter reappear at the top of the stairs with the check, I felt Bella's hand creep up my thigh. Was she trying to kill me? Or maybe she was simply interested in exhibitionist sex. Whichever. My body didn't care anymore, as long as she was in my bed and underneath me within the hour.
"What are you trying to do to me?" I whispered to her, trying to make my voice stern but unfortunately it came out sounding seductive instead. Which, of course, only encouraged her hand's exploration on my thigh.
"Do you like it?" she asked, her low voice so close to my ear I felt rather than heard her question. Her hand dipped down and her thumb gently brushed my inner thigh. I could barely even think as the top of my head nearly exploded due to excessive sexual tension.
There was no way I could let this continue. I'd been turning down Bella's more than blatant suggestions only because my mind and my heart told me that I wanted her to know that this was about more than just lust.
But right now, the lust and the affection I had for Bella were swirling inside of me so hard that I couldn't pull them apart anymore. All I knew was that I had to have her. Fuck everything and everybody else.
"God, Bella," I groaned as quietly as I could, "let's ditch these losers and get out of here now."
It wasn't even a question. I couldn't bear to make it one because I was terrified she'd turn me down. Not that she seemed adverse to a little private time. Still, I wouldn't rest completely easy until we were totally alone and she was screaming my name.
"Yes," she hissed, letting her hand drift even further up until I was about two fingertips away from committing a public felony.
Roughly grabbing her hand, I raised it to my face and placed a passionate open-mouthed kiss on her palm. "Let me take care of the rest of this," I told her with definite sense of urgency in my voice. The minutes until the hour was up were ticking down way too rapidly and my self-control was cracking.
But before I could even reach the waiter, Rosalie was there, and she was discreetly pressing cash into the waiter's hand to my surprise. Emmett was kind of gawking and who could really blame him? Rose was probably the most aggressive female he'd ever noticed, and from his expression tonight, he was more than noticing. I mentally applauded then turned my attention back to the incredibly captivating creature next to me.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked, leaning down close so I could nip a bit at her ear under the pretense of simply being heard in a noisy environment.
"You know it." Bella's eyes flashed mischievously.
Alice and Jasper still hadn't returned, but I figured we'd meet up with them outside.
Letting Rose and Emmett go down the stairs ahead of us, I took the opportunity to trace the beautiful curves of Bella's lower back. I couldn't wait until I could touch the silky smooth skin that hid under her clothes.
Inside, I was jumping up and down like a giddy school boy. Or girl. I could almost feel my inner Miley Cyrus stretching awake.
Down, Miley, down, I ordered her. I wanted only to focus on the woman in front of me.
A blast of cool air hit us as Emmett opened the door and we walked outside.
"Alice?" Rosalie asked questioningly, and when I moved slightly to the side so I could see better what she'd observed my jaw dropped.
Alice was pressed up against the wall by my brother who was nearly eating her alive.
I moved a little to get a better angle and decided that they were eating each other alive.
Apparently even Rosalie's rather loud tone hadn't clued either of them off to our presence.
Beside me, Bella had stiffened momentarily, then softened, a huge smile playing over her face. Glancing at Rosalie, she too, looked relieved, as if a big load had been lifted off her shoulders.
Honestly, I hadn't even been sure that Jasper was really interested in Alice. I'd always kind of felt that he carried a torch for her, but not until this moment did I truly believe it.
I guess when Jasper really wanted something, he proved his point in a big way, because there was no way I'd ever doubt the strength of his feelings based on this display.
Emmett cleared his throat loudly, and since nobody on earth was louder than Emmett, their heads jerked up, lips finally separating. When Jasper finally stepped away from Alice, her embarrassment was evident in her bright red cheeks. He couldn't even meet our eyes.
Part of me wondered how they'd ended up in that situation in the first place if they were both so damn shy. I wanted to yell at them that their mutual lust was nothing to be embarrassed of. After all, the lust I felt for Bella was clearly tenting my jeans and I'd long since lost my sense of shame. I wanted her and I kind of wanted everyone to know it, because as long as they did they'd know she was mine.
Nobody knew what to say, as there was this long and drawn out uncomfortable silence. Really, I just wanted to snatch Bella's hand and drag her to my car so we could get away from all these people. People who could turn us in for indecent exposure.
And really, I pondered, what was stopping me? Clearly, Bella herself had acclimated to the idea of some nice long alone time. Rosalie had a car. Emmett had Rosalie, in whatever capacity they'd reached, and Alice had Jasper—and their roles were even more clearly defined.
Silence was still falling around us, and I decided in that split second to take action and to take what I wanted. I was too far gone to worry about propriety or manners or anything but getting my woman back to the car and going all caveman on her ass.
My hand crept down her back to that same fine ass, and I smiled. And before she could even anticipate it happening, I grabbed her hand and took off running, pulling her after me.
Nobody even spoke or attempted to follow us at first, though when I glanced back, I could see their eyes tracing our movements in shock. Good, I thought with satisfaction. We're going to be alone soon. Now let's just hope that Jasper decides to take Alice somewhere else to finish what he started against that wall.
Our feet pounded on the pavement, and I didn't hear Bella's whimper for a good minute. I didn't know why we were still running at that point, since we'd left the group behind a good three blocks ago, and I stopped, gasping for breath, to find out why she'd made that adorably painful noise.
Bella bent over, her breath whooshing in and out and her hair creating a beautiful brown curtain that meant I couldn't see her face and diagnose what the problem was.
"You okay?" I asked, lifting a strand of that gorgeously silken hair and peering inside the cave she'd made for herself.
"I'm fine," she laughed, a bit out of breath still, "but I think you're totally nuts."
Finally she straightened up, and as she shifted her weight from one foot to another, I noticed a wince flash across her face.
"Did you hurt yourself?" I asked with concern, immediately at her side. I grabbed her elbow and forced at least part of her weight off her feet. Didn't matter that I didn't know which foot hurt—I was going to do something regardless. I hated the thought that Bella might be in pain, and that the pain could possibly be my fault.
"No," she laughed again, and pushed me away with a smile. "Not at all. Though these stupid boots of Alice's are too small and keep pinching my toes."
"Can you walk?" I selfishly prayed the answer to that question was no. I wanted to be the world's most considerate gentleman and carry her the rest of the distance to the car.
Of course, I knew there was little to zero chance of her ever letting me do that on a public street. Maybe if she broke an ankle or something—but I could hardly wish a broken bone on Bella just because I wanted to cart her around like a modern day Heathcliff.
"Of course," she said, and if I wasn't mistaken she looked at me a bit strangely. Ruh roh. She was beginning to divine that I had less than honorable ideas about her in my arms.
And me carrying her is just the beginning, I thought, inwardly rubbing my hands together with glee.
"You ready to keep going?" I questioned her solicitously. She couldn't know I was going to ravish her very bones until we were all alone and she'd been seduced. No matter that she was now stepping closer to me and running her fingertips along my arms most seductively herself.
Who was I kidding? I was the one being seduced here. My self-control had been literally shredded into pieces by the brown-eyed witch in front of me.
"Yes," she murmured, so quietly I could barely hear her, "but not until I do this."
She took one step closer and kissed me so passionately I staggered backwards. In my surprise, I was barely able to keep up with her as she aggressively slipped her tongue inside my mouth and proceeded to kiss the crap out of me.
A good minute later we staggered apart, breathing harder than we had after running three blocks.
"That," I gasped, "needs to not happen if we're ever going to make it to the car."
"Oh really?" Bella asked with a false innocence that sent even more blood rushing to my cock. She stepped toward me, and I held one hand out.
"For the love of God, please. If we get started again, I'm going to take you right here," I nearly begged.
"So?" Bella raised one eyebrow questioningly.
God was it even a surprise that I was crazy about this woman when she said things like that to me?
I closed my eyes in supplication. "I am going to jump on you in approximately thirty seconds and I can guarantee that nothing, including a full SWAT team and the possibility of spending the next two days in jail, is going to stop me. So you better get a head start."
Flashing me a playful smile, she took off running again, and I followed her—well, okay, I followed her incredible ass in those tight jeans.
I caught up to her easily—she couldn't run that fast in those ridiculous boots that I wanted to strip off her—and grabbing her hand, I led her to the car.
In a jumble of arms and legs, we fell inside my Volvo, and immediately she was on me again.
"I'm sorry," she gasped between long, deep kisses, "I just can't get enough of you."
"Believe me," I groaned into her warm, tasty mouth, "the feeling is mutual."
I let myself sink into her gloriousness for about thirty more seconds, my hands tracing the smooth curves of her waist and creeping down to grab her butt.
She giggled as my fingertips dug into the flesh there, and I kissed her even harder. There was something hard-wired in my brain that made me want this woman more than anything else on earth.
Finally, I forced myself—and I almost couldn't do it—to pull away from her lips for long enough to tell her: "We need to stop."
Bella's beautiful, full mouth turned down into the most adorable pout, and I was nearly putty in her hands—nearly, but not completely.
I wanted her too much to give in to her because I wasn't going to take her for the first time in the Volvo, though the backseat held definite possibilities for the future.
"No," I gasped again. "Home. Bed." Apparently I'd left the ability to form sentences back with my self-control.
"Fine." Bella fell back into her seat, and crossed her arms over her chest. I wanted to bellow that she better never cover up her breasts again, as long as we both shall live, but I refrained.
If we stopped talking, we might make it home in one piece.
I started the car and managed to navigate out of the parking garage without letting my trembling hands (and when had a girl ever made my hands tremble?) affect me too adversely.
Hoping my hands would stop shaking, I decided to turn some music on to try to calm myself down. Bella had me wound so tight I thought I might have a stroke.
Unfortunately, the song that popped up on random was not one that would help calm me down. In fact, it was just about the opposite.
I heard the opening drum beats and I wanted to groan in frustration and beat my head repeatedly on the dashboard. Unfortunately I was driving and that's a no-no.
"Ooooh," Bella piped up and I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course there was no way she was going to stay silent with this song playing.
I reached over to move onto the next song, but Bella slapped my hand away and I glared at her.
"I don't think you understand," I nearly pleaded at this point. "Every guy has a sex song—a song that automatically makes him want to get it on, and this is mine. We keep listening and I'm going to pull over."
Clearly, this information was not having the desired effect on Bella that I wished it was. Instead, she was smiling rather slyly and looking ready to defend the iPod as if it was the final frontier and she was masquerading as Captain Kirk.
"Bella," I warned again, with a tight and controlled voice. I wanted to fuck her like an animal. I wanted to take her over and over again—and I knew that would bring me closer to God.
"I thought music was supposed to be calming," she teased, glancing in my direction and the lustful expression on her beautiful face nearly undid me. I felt myself break into a cold sweat as my self-control neared dangerously low levels.
"It is," I growled at her. "And if the 'random' song had been Debussy or fuck, even Rachmaninoff. Or Muse. Or Blink. I could have made it. But not fucking 'Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. That's a control-destroying song." Never mind it was like six fucking minutes long. I didn't think there was any way I could possibly last another three minutes with it playing. My cock was twitching to the hardcore drum beats and I could feel rather than hear the throbbing. I wanted to sink into Bella and never come up for air.
Naturally the car in front of us was going slow as shit. I was almost relieved because if that car hadn't existed, I would have been breaking every rule of the road simultaneously in my need to get home now.
"Does that mean when it's over we should listen to it again?" Bella asked, the innocent tone returning to her voice. That was almost more of a turn-on that her seductive voice because I knew she was anything but prudish.
"Fuck no," I nearly yelled. "Definitely not." I slammed on the brakes as I realized I was following a little too close to the car in front of me again. Tailgating when my attention span was about zero was bad news all around. If we got into an accident, we'd have to wait like three times as long to have sex and that was absolutely unacceptable.
"Are you sure?" Bella let her hand waver just a bit too close to the iPod and I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I knew that her repeating the song wasn't a matter of if but when.
Finally, she did it as the song drew to a close, and I closed my eyes in supplication as we waited for yet another interminable, cock-blocking red light to change to green.
"Bella," I whispered. "You need to stop now." And that's when I felt her hand on my leg. I opened my eyes and felt her grip close over my diamond-hard length. I could probably perform as a human drill at this point.
"I meant it," I said again, more frantically. Pleasure was spiking through my system and the shakes were definitely back. The light finally turned green, and as suddenly as I'd decided to drag Bella away, I whipped the wheel around and pulled into a dark side street.
As soon as I flipped the lights and the key in the ignition, we met in a sudden clash of lips and tongues and hands over the gear shift of the Volvo.
Bella was panting into my mouth with need, and I pulled her with all the strength I had over the gear shift and halfway into my lap. There were legs and arms jumbled everywhere and I didn't think that either of us was probably very comfortable but we didn't notice. At least I didn't, and from the amazing breathy moans Bella was making, I didn't think she cared either.
Screw foreplay, I thought, as I saw rather than directed my hand to move up to Bella's jean-covered crotch. As I rubbed her, she arched into my hand, and her moans grew even louder.
With my other hand, I managed to work my way halfway up her shirt but gave up as I kept meeting the resistance of the belt or tie she had around her waist.
"God damn it," I breathed into her neck, as I explored as much of her skin as I could, tracing patterns on the silkiness of her stomach.
"I want you," Bella groaned, as I rubbed her harder through her jeans. "I want to take my clothes off. Will you help me?"
Her words catapulted me back into the reality of the situation. We were in a dark side street, in my car, about three minutes away from actual penetration, and while said penetration was a single track thought in my head, I knew I'd regret it if we did it here. I had to get us home. Now.
"Bella," I sighed, pulling away from her, and hating myself for the need to utter this. "We shouldn't do this here."
Her eyes grew wide and her hands floundered as she tried to pull me back towards her.
"What are you saying?" she asked, her eyes glazed with lust and arousal. I couldn't blame her for being confused. Hell, there was so much blood in my cock right now it was amazing I could put words together to form a sentence.
"We should go home," I told her, touching her forehead to mine as I closed my eyes. "It will be better that way."
Bella sighed, and I knew she saw I was right. Gingerly, she climbed back off me, over the gear shift, and back to seat. Reluctantly buckling her seat belt she looked up at me.
"Then get us home. Now."
She didn't have to say anything else. I tried to adjust my painfully hard cock in my pants, gave up after about two seconds, gunned the engine, flipped the lights back on, and took off down the street like a bat out of hell.
Five uncomfortable minutes later, we finally pulled up into the driveway of our house. All the lights were off and I breathed a silent sigh of relief that Jasper and Emmett had been smart enough not to come home.
I shot out of the door, and Bella followed me. We met in another passionate embrace at the bottom of the stairs. Clearly, the fire between us had only been put out momentarily—or not at all. After all, I'd spent the whole intervening five minutes thinking of all the things I couldn't wait to do with Bella as soon as we had a bed or hell, even a floor.
Our bodies fit together like they were made for each other, and as I kissed her, I tried to somehow convey to Bella that this was about more than sex—that I cared about her. But I had no idea if it was successful, and I guessed probably not, because soon I was dragging her up the stairs, kissing her every other step, molding her breasts with my hands, and generally making her squirm in my grasp.
All part of the plan, I thought to myself with pride. You're going to make her feel so good she's never going to want anyone else.
I fumbled my keys, nearly dropping them on the ground twice, as Bella draped herself around me, kissing my neck and my ear and anywhere else she could reach, as her hand descended pretty determinedly down my torso towards my pants. Before I could even manage, with decidedly shaky hands, to get the key in the fucking hole, she had my belt undone. Damn, she was fast and efficient. I was half in love with her already.
Oh shit. Look what you've done now, I yelled at myself.
My hands stilled on Bella's flesh as I processed what I'd just realized. No. You're not. That was just a . . . a . . .a momentary thing. Nothing more.
Bella looked at me questioningly and there was just a bit of hurt in her eyes. That was all it took to undo me and make me realize I never wanted to put that there again.
I forced my mind back to the plan of action, and brushed the underside of her breast with my fingertips.
"Let's go inside," I breathed into her ear.
She simply nodded in agreement and sagged against me.
I shoved the door open with my hip and we made it about two steps into the foyer until I had her against the wall, my tongue in her mouth.
Bella made easy work of the button and zipper on my jeans and pulled them down. Her hands immediately went to my cock and the slight chill of her skin, even through the fabric of my boxers, felt like heaven against my overheated body.
"Edward," she groaned as my hands untied the sash keeping so much skin from my questing fingers, "I want you so badly."
"Me too. Trust me. Me too." My voice ended in a hiss as she found the slit cut into the middle of my boxers and grasped me with her bare hand. Nothing could have ever prepared me for how good her bare skin would feel. Then she moved her hand and I knew that if I didn't put a stop to that immediately, this would be over before it even began.
"Bella," I said coaxingly, "let's go to my room." I had to distract her before I completely embarrassed myself.
She pouted a bit, but she did let me take her hand and guide her into the living room. A soon as we got there, though, that was where her acquiescence ended.
Without a warning, she pushed me back against one of the living room walls and kissed me with such lust that I forgot where I was and the plan completely. I had to have her now. There was no such thing as waiting. No such thing as foreplay.
I was going to die if I wasn't inside of her within five seconds.
I pulled up on her shirt and she lifted her arms obligingly, letting it slip off. I cupped her breasts and my thumbs rubbed her nipples as her hands went toward my cock again. This time, I didn't think I could possibly stop her. There was just too much need pulsing between us to even think about stopping.
And that was even before she sank to her knees in front of me and I felt her hot breath against my boxers. I closed my eyes and the back of my head hit the wall. Lord, Bella was pretty damn amazing.
She started to pull my boxers down and I told myself, thirty seconds. You let her do what she wants for thirty seconds and then you can finally be where you've been wanting to go for two freaking weeks.
But before I could feel those gorgeous lips around my cock, I heard a key in the lock on the door. Bella must have heard it too because she scrambled to her feet, grasping for anything to use to cover herself. For a split second, I almost handed her the boxers around my feet but I decided I wasn't that self-sacrificing. Hurriedly I yanked them up and grabbed Bella's arm as she looked at me frantically. We'd taken about two steps toward the hallway and my bedroom when the front door opened and in walked Jasper. . .with Alice.
Damn, could this get any more awkward?
There was just enough light in the living room that Jasper, then Alice, who was a step behind him, saw us immediately. They both froze in their tracks, and I knew that both Bella and I were wearing deer in the headlight expressions like they'd been made for us.
"Uh," Jasper stammered, and I wanted to die. This was not the way I had envisioned Bella and I getting freaky at all. Getting caught nearly in the act by my brother pretty much qualified as a total disaster.
Alice's jaw was halfway to the floor, and I could almost feel Bella reddening in embarrassment next to me.
"We'll go out . . .again," Jasper finished lamely, but he spun around and headed back towards the front door. Thank god, at least they were leaving. We'd at least get some privacy to try to get this back on track.
Alice stayed just a hair longer than Jasper, but she looked Bella straight in the eyes and then turned to follow him back out the door.
As soon as the door clicked shut and I heard the key turn in the lock, I sagged against the wall.
"Oh my god," Bella screeched a little, "that was horrible."
What else was there for me to say? This whole thing was definitely not my finest moment. I only wished that it hadn't been our first moment.
"Do you still want to go to the bedroom?" I asked gently, taking a hand and holding up her chin gently so that I could see directly into her eyes. I hoped she could sense that I wasn't just being an insensitive jerk and begging for her to still have sex with me. I just wanted to know if she still wanted to stick around here after that hideous incident.
"Yes," she whispered, and tucked herself into my arms. "Yes, I want to stay."
I blew out the breath I didn't know I was even holding. She'd understood.
"Good," I whispered back, letting my chin balance on the top of her head. We stayed there, wrapped in each other, for a good moment, until I felt myself begin to recover from the humiliating incident of earlier. The nasty boogey-man was gone, and Little Eddie had decided that it was safe to come back out and play.
Bella could probably feel me growing harder, and she shifted against me sinuously, letting me know exactly where she stood in this latest development.
Taking a step back, and a breather of a sort, I decided, had only helped the situation. I felt much more in control now and like I could actually do this like I'd planned all along. There would be no rushing, no urge to get this over as fast as possible. I just wanted to savor Bella.
"Come on," I murmured to her, and intertwined my fingers with hers as we walked down the hallway to my room. I led her over the edge of my big king bed, and she sat down, her eyes never leaving mine.
"Do you really want this?" I asked. I hated the thought of her saying no, but if we got started, I knew there was no way I was going to ask, and I never wanted to do anything she wasn't ready for.
"Yes." Her voice was firm and sure and she reached out her arm towards me. "Come to bed, Edward."
When she said it like that, in her soft, lovely voice, with all this feeling behind it, there was no way I could possibly even think about arguing with her.
Kicking my shoes and socks off, I watched as she leaned down and unzipped those incredibly hot boots she was wearing. We crawled up on the bed and I wrapped my arms around her and as gracefully as I could, pulled her on top of me, hoping that she'd like that.
I should never have doubted. Bella took to the position like she was made for it, grinding down on my once-again hard cock so well that I felt my eyes roll back in my head. I wrapped one hand around her upper arm and dragged her upper body closer to mine. Taking advantage of the way her back dipped closer to me, I smoothed a hand up skin that had the texture of heavy cream and found the bra clasp waiting invitingly.
In that moment, though I was a bit ashamed of my past experience, I was glad that I'd long ago learned how to open a bra one-handed. Flicking my wrist I had it open in a second and she giggled a little as she kissed me.
"What?" I teased her playfully, stripping her bra off, and tweaking one nipple as I did it, "you like that?"
She nodded, trying to be solemn, but the upturned corner of her mouth gave it completely away.
"Fine," I said, tensing my muscles and switching our positions. The smile in her eyes died, to be replaced by such lust that it almost took my breath away. Lust like that for me.
I captured her mouth with mine and used one hand to strip off my own shirt, gasping a little inwardly as our torsos met, skin to skin, for the first time. Nothing had ever felt so good, though I had a feeling that this process was going to include a lot of those "firsts."
I kissed my way down her neck, loving the way she felt under me, and loving the little breathless moans she kept making as I traced the line of her neck with my tongue.
"Edward," she gasped, as I found a particularly sensitive area on her collarbone, "I really want you."
"And I want you," I replied, never taking my attention from her incredible skin. I didn't think I could tear my gaze away even if I wanted to.
"You don't understand. This is all. . ." she gestured around, "kind of unnecessary."
"Unnecessary?" I asked, the word taking on a twinge of disbelief.
"Here," Bella said, a bit impatiently, tucking her hands between our bodies for a second, and I was lost until I realized she was unbuttoning her jeans.
"But I wanted to do that," I whined.
"You can. Later," she smiled up at me. "Here," she continued, grabbing my hand and dragging it into her pants. Not that she ever needed to force me. Jesus. "Feel."
She placed my hand right against her core, and in that second, I nearly swore a blue streak. She was so wet she'd soaked right through her silky panties. A fire ignited in me, and I almost growled in pleasure.
"Okay," I said, a little harshly, because I wasn't sure I could even really breathe anymore, "you want it, you've got it."
She laughed, a pure clean sound, but so sexual that if I'd been standing up, she'd have brought me to my knees.
I grabbed her panties and her jeans and ripped them both off with one swift movement. Then, Bella, my Bella, was lying naked on my bed, looking like she belonged there. Because, I thought simply, she did.
Then my head fuzzed over with lust, and I could barely think as she wrapped her long bare legs around my torso and kissed me hard, rubbing her wet slit against my hard cock.
"Okay," I ground out, "you win." I stripped my boxers off, said a single prayer for that birth control patch I'd found, and sank an inch inside of her.
There was a loud groan in the air, and I wasn't sure if it was hers or mine, but it didn't matter because she felt so damn fuck good that I knew I was going to sink into her and never want to leave.
I pushed in a little farther and she was so wet and tight and hot and eager that I nearly came right then. Taking a deep breath, I tried to hold her steady, but she kept wiggling out of my control, trying to work me even deeper.
Finally, I gave up, and slammed into her, and I knew then that the first loud groan must have been mine because I let another out then and a single thought echoed through my mind: "mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine."
I tried moving slowly but like before, Bella was having none of it, her head tossing from side to side, her eyes squeezed tight in pleasure. "Edward," she begged, "harder. Please."
Like I could even say no to that. So I slammed into her so hard I saw stars and she screamed my name in the best way I'd ever heard.
Like I'd thought it would be, it was over fast, but I worked one hand between us for the last thirty seconds so I could rub her clit. I barely touched it and she exploded and that was it for me. A few more hard thrusts and I felt like my insides were being sucked out of me.
I collapsed on top of her, and wasn't surprised at all to realize she was laughing. Bella was like no girl I'd ever met, and I was never going to let her go.
JPOV
This was possibly one of the worst days of my life.
It was only the second worst because the first worst was easily the day Rosalie caught Emmett kissing Lauren Mallory in Robert's classroom and Alice and I were separated before we ever had a chance.
Now the only one separating us was me. I kept insisting to myself that it had to be this way. I knew, as deep down as you could go, that this was the right thing to do. I'd reasoned it all out in my mind.
But every time I saw her, it was almost as if every ounce of logic flew out the window and all I had was this pounding, fierce desire to have her. It was insane and crazy and ludicrous, and I knew I was breaking my heart. I swore I could hear the cracks in my own as I told her that we should only be friends.
When Edward had told me that we were all going to dinner, I'd considered for about five seconds the possibility that maybe Alice wouldn't come. As I'd walked out the door, she had not looked good, and it had killed me inside to leave her. In fact, I'd hoped she wouldn't come.
But of course, she had, and she'd been so beautiful and funny, and completely Alice that the part of me that liked to fuck with my logic had taken over and flirted with her, followed her, and then had done the most unacceptable thing of all: kissed her.
I sat at the bar that we'd escaped to after seeing way too much of Edward and Bella, and lifted a finger in the direction of the bartender to fill my glass with another few fingers of Grey Goose.
I felt rather than heard Alice climb back on her barstool but I didn't have the energy or the inclination to look her way. I felt like I'd spent the whole day stabbing myself and I couldn't wait for it to end. Maybe that was why I was doing my best to simply drown the pain.
"Would you like anything?" the bartender asked Alice, who up until this point had stuck with some snooty white wine. I glanced over and saw she had finished her second glass.
"Let's have another," I told the bartender before Alice could reply.
He poured her another glass and disappeared. I knew as soon as he left, I was going to get a lecture, and bingo, the moment his back was turned she twisted in her barstool toward me.
"What if I didn't want that?"
"You did," I said. "Trust me; it's that kind of night. We just walked in my brother and your best friend nearly having sex in my living room."
Alice sighed. "That has nothing to do with why it's that kind of night or why you're drinking vodka neat."
She was right—she was so right, just like she always was.
Earlier this afternoon I could see in her eyes that she'd thought I was lying to her. It was hard to know why I'd felt like I was lying too when I'd been so sure before that I was going to tell her the truth.
I ran my hands through my hair and wished that I'd managed to forget with all the Goose I'd managed to ingest. Forget her face; forget her broken voice when I'd told her that everything had been a mistake.
Part of me thought that everything was a mistake—and part of me had never felt so right as when hers lips were pressed on mine.
I gulped down the Goose in my glass, hoping that maybe the alcohol would perhaps help erase the memory I had of us kissing, of how right it had felt.
"You're right," I said bleakly. "Alice. . ."
She must have recognized the tone of my voice because she immediately slid off the booth and threw a bill on the bar.
"No," she said, her voice too hard to be Alice's, "no, you are not going to do this again."
"Do what?" Except we both knew what I was going to do and I hated myself so much in this moment that I wanted to slam my head into the hardwood bar and just end it all because I was such a bastard.
She'd turned to go and her head whipped back so her eyes could meet mine. Such a clear, beautiful gray. I never wanted to look away. And maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should be selfish and have her while I could—until she discovered that I was a total asshole and that I was using her. But until that point, I could enjoy her.
And god, I wanted to. Okay, so I was going to be a selfish bastard. I'd never been one before, but at this moment I didn't care. I wanted her too much to care.
"Alice," I said, as I stood. I flipped an identical bill on the bar, and held one hand out to her.
She looked at it hesitantly and I knew she didn't know if she could trust me. Hell, I didn't know if she could either, but suddenly it was intolerable that she thought she couldn't.
"Alice," I begged, "please. I'm sorry."
Her eyes lifted to mine and I saw the sheen of tears there. I had put those tears there, and I needed to fix it.
"Please," I said again, and this time her hand hesitantly moved towards mine.
"Okay," she told me in a small voice, but even through the Goose, I couldn't ignore the hope there and that hope made my heart expand infinitesimally.
We walked towards the door, and I was glad that I hadn't drunk too much because I wanted to talk to her, be with her, and be a selfish asshole.
The door closed behind us, I let my fingers slip through hers, and I pulled her close to me. "Forgive me?" I asked and she only nodded, her face radiant with happiness.
And as I asked for Alice's forgiveness, I wondered if I'd ever be able to forgive myself.