Chapter Eleven –A Kiss to Build a Dream On
He dribbled the ball skillfully in his hands as he made his way down the court. He glanced around at the other players to find the open man and when he did he passed the ball hard before running past the guy blocking him. He made it around to the other side and the ball flew in his hands before he jumped up and dunked the ball hard. The guys started clapping and hollering as he landed on his feet.
"Damn, Coach!"
Nathan shook his head. "Did you get the play or not? Or do we need to go over it again?"
"He's calling you out Q," Brandon chuckled from a few feet away.
Nathan handed the ball to Quentin and smirked. "Show me what you got then."
"Oh, I'll show you alright," Quentin muttered before dribbling the ball. "Let's take it from the top and show this old man how it's really done."
Nathan chuckled as he walked off the court and stood on the sidelines. His varsity team had been meeting up like this regularly all summer long. It wasn't like he required it or anything, but still twice a week they showed up to play ball. Just like he promised he had been here twice a week helping them out. He did his best to teach them everything that he knew.
The old Raven gym was exactly the same from when he played in it. He knew ever part of this court just like Lucas claimed to know every part of the Rivercourt. Whatever, he thought with a chuckle. He had beat Lucas enough times on his own turf to know that he knew the Rivercourt better.
Quentin did the play that Nathan just showed them and when he dunked the ball he held onto the rim and yelled loudly. Nathan shook his head and laughed as Quentin jumped down and clapped his hands before doing his victory dance. The rest of the team laughed and then joined him. What was he going to do with these guys?
"Very funny, Q," Nathan said shaking his head.
Quentin smirked. "What's the matter, old man? Did I do that better than you?"
"Next play, smartass," Nathan ordered while holding up three fingers letting them know which play he wanted. Quentin nodded before guarding Aaron who had the ball.
"Whatever you say, old man. But just so you know, I'm taking out all your high scores this year. Tree Hill won't even remember twenty three once they see me. Forty four!" He then chuckled before stealing the ball way and dunking it again.
Nathan chuckled as he watched. This is just how it was with the team. Quentin always had everyone having a good time and he always always showed off. He reminded Nathan a little of the way he used to be. He had to give it to Quentin though, the kid could play.
He glanced over at his retired jersey hanging on the wall next to his fathers and his brothers. His eyes landed on the number twenty three with his name above it. No one at Tree Hill high would ever walk the halls with his number. It was his forever. That had been one of the happiest moments of his life. Hayden had loved it more than he did. The kid couldn't wait to become a Raven.
"Zach hold onto the ball," Nathan shouted as he lost the ball again.
"He can't help it," Quentin chuckled. "At least, not while I'm guarding his ass!"
"Shut up, Q," Zach stated glaring at him. "If you wouldn't press the whole time and give me a little space."
"That's our whole defense," Brandon chuckled.
"Just playing the game," Quentin grinned before bouncing the ball.
"Bring it in," Nathan ordered before waving his hand. "Time's up. I've had enough of watching you guys bitching all day. Maybe Wednesday you'll come back ready to play some ball. If not stay home."
"Yes, sir." They all said loudly.
"Good practice guys," Nathan stated while looking at each of them. "Brandon work on your free-throws and Zach work on your turnovers." Quentin chuckled and Nathan glared at him disapprovingly before he stopped. "Q work on the attitude. We win and we win as a team. This isn't a one man show. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir," Quentin nodded.
"Now, hit the showers," Nathan said. "I'll see you all in a few days."
Most of the guys walked off the court but a few stayed behind talking. Nathan made his way around the court putting the loose basketballs on the cart before pushing it with him towards the locker room and his office.
"Hey, Coach, why don't you come down to Tric tonight and buy us a few drinks," Quentin asked while they slowly made their way towards the locker room. "It'll be fun. We'll show you how to party, old man."
"Very funny," Nathan retorted. "If by drinks you mean juice then sure."
"As long as that juice is mixed with something hard," Zach snickered.
Nathan chuckled. "Keep dreaming. Now get out of here before I make you run laps."
"See ya," Quentin muttered before dashing into the locker room with the rest of the guys following him. Nathan laughed before saving the basketball cart and then making his way into his office. He took a seat at his huge desk and dropped his play book down on it. It's not like he ever needed it. It was Whiteys and he had memorized all the plays freshman year of high school. It was all in his head.
He sat back and relaxed himself. It's not like he had anywhere to be.
His eyes landed on the picture of Lucas and his family. It was taken last year at Hayden's birthday party. Both of the kids had cake all over their faces. They all seemed so happy. His brother had his arm around Peyton holding her to him with Anna in her arms. The picture was perfect.
Right next to it was a picture of Brooke and her family. It was the first picture that they had taken since adopting Sam and he had been the one to take it. The twins were grinning brightly. Brooke and Julian were in the middle of laughing when he had snapped it. Still it came out really good. Sam was the only one not looking at the picture. She had her eyes on her new family. Still, it had come out really good and Brooke had a bigger one up in her living room.
The one on the other side of the desk was of him and Haley. It seemed like a lifetime ago when they took it, which it was. It had been after some cheesy concert that they skipped school to go and see. He remembered it perfectly because it was the first time that she agreed to skip school with him. The train ride there and back had been fun. The whole day had been fun and Haley had gotten some gothic looking guy to take the picture of them. His arms were wrapped around her and she was smiling. She had told him to look at the camera but he couldn't. Even then his eyes were on her, watching her.
He felt his heart pound in his chest as he thought about her.
Had she and Lucas made up yet? All Thursday night and Friday morning he had helped Lucas fix up the rooftop of the café. His brother seemed so excited about it. He didn't get it. But Lucas explained to him how important the rooftop of the café was for them. It was part of their history long before he came along.
It had been five long days since he had last seen her. Five days since he had been an idiot and tried to take advantage of her while she was vulnerable. What he been thinking? But I wanted her, he thought. He had wanted her. It was the whole reason why he had lost himself while being with her. He wasn't thinking clearly.
At least, he tried to explain. She had heard what he had to say.
Did she believe it? That was doubtful. She had made it very clear that she didn't trust him. Even with every look he knew that she didn't trust him at all. She was completely guarded around him –something that he didn't remember her being at all. She had only been that way in the beginning of their relationship.
He had thought about going over to return the clothes that she let him wear but once he got close enough to her house he chickened out and drove home. What would he say?
That kiss had been amazing.
He could still feel her lips on his. She had kissed him back. He had felt her lips moving along with his, he felt her tongue in his mouth, and he had felt how much she wanted him. Why did she suddenly stop? Why did she start crying? That kiss had been perfect. They both wanted it. At least, he did.
He couldn't stop thinking about kissing her.
It's all he wanted to do forever. He would be just fine with that. Hell, he would be happy with that. Kissing her felt like nothing else in the world. It was an out of body experience. Every time just got better and better.
He felt a soft knock on the door and he quickly sat up. "Come in."
Ryan walked right in and took a seat. "Hey, Coach."
"What's up, Ryan?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about starting me this year," Ryan mumbled nervously before looking down.
"Well, you've earned it," Nathan smiled.
The kid had. He had come along way these last three years. He was a really bright kid and the smartest player on the team. In fact, he was one of the main tutors from the Tutor Center. That thought only made him smile. Ryan was a good kid.
"Just wanted to say thank you, Coach Scott," Ryan grinned before standing up. "I won't let you down, sir."
"Good to know," Nathan chuckled as Ryan left his office.
Once his door was closed he saved the play book back into his desk before locking the drawer. He threw a few old papers away before going over his first and second string players. With the way the kids were playing this summer no team would be able to stop them. This only made him proud.
His phone rang and he quickly pulled it out of his pocket and noticed Hayden and Anna's picture flashing on his screen. That meant that someone was calling from their house. He answered it a second later and heard his brother on the other end.
"Hello...Oh hey, Luke…I can't tonight…because I'm busy…I know we do…I know that…because I'm not feeling well…what do you mean I'm lying…No, I'm serious…look I don't care if she's there…I'm not going…fine…I don't care, Lucas…what do you mean you're coming over? I just told you I wasn't…fine…whatever…yeah fine. I'll be there…I said I'll be there. Yeah, whatever."
He slammed his phone shut before tossing it onto his desk. So much for skipping out on Sunday dinner. Sure he could not go, but then that would mean Lucas would come over and make him.
By the sound of Lucas's voice things went well with Haley Friday night. That's why Lucas mentioned that she was there now. And what they were waiting on him? Yeah, right! Lucas might have been waiting on him but she was not!
Stupid Sunday night dinners!
He got up slowly noticing the time. Lucas told him to be there in twenty minutes are he was leaving to come and get him. He shook his head as he locked up his office and made his way out of the gym. He locked that up as well before heading out. So much for one peaceful day.
~***~
"You're late!"
"And you look like ass!"
"Thanks."
"What? You do!"
"Is this why you guys called me here?"
"Faking sick," Julian chuckled. "That was a good one!"
"Not good enough," Nathan muttered as he took a seat on the back deck. Lucas was standing in front of the grill and everyone else was sitting around the huge table a few feet away. Nathan sat down before crossing his arms over his chest. He glanced out into the yard and noticed the kids running around and Haley as well. Sam must have been in the house with Anna.
"I told you no hiding," Brooke smirked as she glanced at him. "How are you supposed to get her back if you're not here? You could at least think before you do something this stupid. We all went to the beach yesterday and where were you? Not with us that's for sure! I'll tell you Nathan sometimes I wonder…" she shook her head disapprovingly.
"I had a thing," Nathan shrugged.
"You didn't answer your phone and we went over to get you but you weren't home," Peyton stated while looking curiously at him. "Where were you?"
"I had a thing," Nathan repeated. Ok, so he just took off driving and didn't realize he drove all the way to Charlotte. Then once he was there he just found an empty park and went shoot around from the rest of the day. It wasn't his fault that he forgot to turn on his phone.
Brooke glowered at him. "A thing my ass!"
"Leave him alone," Lucas defended him. "This is a lot to take in all at once. Give the guy a break, will you?" Brooke eventually nodded in agreement. Julian chuckled and Brooke hit him in the arm. He quickly stopped.
"Thank you," Nathan smiled.
"Well, we had fun yesterday, if you were wondering," Peyton pointed out. "It would have been more fun if you had been there. The kids kept on asking about you. It just wasn't the same. Make sure that you don't do that again." She gave him a warning look and he nodded.
"Sorry."
"You should be," Brooke muttered with a glare. "Haley was looking hot as hell yesterday and guys were all over her!"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Nathan asked dryly.
"Well, if you had been there then –"
"Then what? She would have ignored me? You guys don't get it. I tried ok. I tried talking to her and that didn't work. She won't listen. So just stop it," Nathan snapped. "I can't make her listen. She doesn't believe me, not that I blame her."
"Nathan, relax," Lucas instructed. "We just want you to be happy."
"Then just stop it," Nathan muttered before looking away. "I'm doing the best I can."
"Ok then," Lucas nodded.
It got quiet and Nathan finally turned to face them. They were still all looking at him and he shook his head before chuckling. What the hell did they want from him? He dropped his arms and placed them on the table before reaching for the beer that Julian placed in front of him. He took a quick sip before placing it back down. They were still looking at him.
"What?" Nathan asked grinning. "You guys are unbelievable!"
"Why didn't you tell us what happened?" Brooke demanded.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Nathan muttered before looking away from her. Sometimes it was like Brooke could see right through him. He hated it in times like these when he wanted to protect himself. These girls just wouldn't stop. They had to know every single detail of his life. Nothing was just for him. They had to know every single little damn thing.
"The storm," Brooke added. "Spill."
So she talked to Haley. He hadn't told anyone about that. He glowered at her for a few minutes before taking a deep breath. No use keeping it all in now. Not when they already knew. No wonder he had fifteen missed calls yesterday. They were going to keep asking until he told them the truth. He glared at them.
"I told her how I felt and I kissed her. I'm sure Brooke's told you everything," Nathan answered before glaring at Brooke again. She seemed pleased and he flipped her off. It only made her smirk.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Peyton asked hurt.
"Yeah, I miss the chick flick moments," Julian teased.
"And the sharing our feelings part," Lucas added.
Julian nodded. "Should we hug it out?"
"Shut it both of you are you'll be sleeping together tonight," Brooke warned while glaring at them. They both stopped smiling. "Now, why didn't you tell us, Nathan?"
"Because I shouldn't have gone over there," Nathan answered. "I only made things worse between us. I should have just told her that I was sorry and then stayed away. I don't know why I thought that she would just forgive me and take me back. It was stupid." Maybe in a perfect world that would have happened, but not in this one. Maybe if he could go back in time and go after her for the right reasons and not the wrong ones then none of this would have happened. They'd still be together.
"That's not stupid," Peyton said with a halfhearted smile.
Lucas nodded. "Definitely not stupid."
"Guess you guys made up then," Nathan pointed out as he glanced at Haley way in the backyard still chasing around the boys. She was laughing and it looked like she was happy. He smiled before looking back at his brother.
"Yeah, we did," Lucas smiled.
"That's great," Nathan told him. "I'm happy for you. I know how much you've wanted this since she left. This is good. I'm glad things are working out for you."
"Yeah, I just wish that they were working out for you, too," Lucas commented.
Nathan shrugged. "You can't win 'em all."
"Just give her sometime. I think that once she sees who you really are then she won't stand a chance," Peyton smiled before squeezing his shoulder in comfort. "I just know it. She won't be able to resist you!"
"Or Brooke," Julian muttered.
"Would you just let it go already," Brooke sighed.
Nathan glanced at the two of them confused. "Am I missing something here?"
"Oh, yeah you are, little brother," Lucas nodded with a huge grin.
"Jealous?" Brooke retorted.
"You're the one that made out with her," Lucas pointed out.
"You what?" Nathan asked loudly.
"That's right," Julian nodded. "My wife here, made out with your girl, Scott!"
"You made out with, Haley? My Haley?" Nathan repeated.
Brooke grinned sheepishly. "Technically she's not yours."
"But word on the street is the girl can kiss," Peyton teased. "I heard it was pretty hot!"
"With my wife," Julian muttered while shaking his head.
Brooke glared at him. "He's only mad because I didn't do it in front of him."
"You're damn right," Julian nodded. "My wife makes out with another girl, I'm going to want to see it!"
"Dude," Nathan muttered through clenched teeth.
"Any other girl but Haley of course," Julian corrected.
"B. Davis just kissed her out of nowhere," Peyton chuckled. "But serioulsy, Nate. Just give her sometime. She won't be able to resist you."
"Like all the ladies," Julian teased.
"Keep dreaming," Lucas chuckled.
Nathan smirked. "Don't hate because I got all the Scott charm and you didn't get any!"
"Little brother, you are sadly mistaken," Lucas smirked. "I got all the charm!"
They all laughed before easing into conversation. It was easier to talk about other things than her. Brooke talked about her new line she was working on and Lucas mentioned that he was almost done with his novel. Peyton mentioned that Mia's new single was at the top of the charts and she was really excited about it. He listened to it all until he noticed the kids running up all sweaty. His heart started to pound.
"Aunt Haley is so cool!" Hayden beamed.
Jordan nodded. "And hot!"
Nathan couldn't help but chuckle. Julian filled him in on how the twins met Haley James and how much Jordan liked her. It was actually pretty funny. Anything was better than thinking about Brooke kissing her. Why was he jealous? He didn't know. He didn't want anyone else kissing her though.
"And she couldn't catch me, Daddy," Brennan grinned. "We were playing chase."
"Did you boys have fun?" Brooke asked.
"Uh-huh, Momma," Jordan grinned. "Are you sure that she can't baby-sit us? She's fun!"
"They just can't wait to run her out of town," Julian chuckled before glancing at an amused Nathan. He shrugged his shoulders.
"You better keep those little munchkins under lock and key," Lucas grinned before pulling Jordan into his arms and squeezing him until he started laughing loudly.
"Help me!" Jordan giggled as he tried to get free.
"Your own your own," Brennan muttered before sitting on Brooke's lap.
"Hay-den, help me!" Jordan giggled loudly. Hayden pushed his daddy as hard as he could before Jordan broke free and turned towards Lucas. Both boys took a step closer as Lucas stood up and held up his hands.
"What have I gotten myself into?" Lucas chuckled.
Jordan grinned. "I told you not to mess with me!"
Lucas took off running and both boys followed. Brennan quickly jumped off Brooke's lap before running off after them into the house. Nathan chuckled before relaxing himself back into his seat.
"You're not going to help him out?" Peyton asked.
"Hell no," Nathan muttered. "He got himself into it. That's what he gets!"
"That's just wrong," Julian chuckled.
"He shouldn't have messed with my baby," Brooke shrugged before smiling at her husband. He leaned in and kissed her before standing up and walking towards the house, no doubt to help Lucas out. Julian knew just how bad the twins could be.
"Where is she?" Brooke questioned as she glanced out at the huge backyard.
Nathan looked as well. Lucas had a huge piece of land. All around the two story house it was covered with beautiful flowers. On the left of the deck as a huge pool and on the other side was where they were by the grill. The back yard was filled with a huge open space for the boys to play. Then behind that was nothing but huge trees and a little ways from that was a huge pound that they fished in sometimes.
It was nice.
Looking out he couldn't see her. Where had she taken off to? If she was by the trees or by the pound then it was way too far for them to see.
"I should go and get her," Brooke commented as she stood up.
Peyton nodded. "It's almost dinner time."
"I'll go," Nathan mumbled before standing up before Brooke could make it past him. He pushed his chair in before smiling at the both of them.
"I'll go." He repeated.
"Good," Peyton smiled.
"You should talk to her," Brooke suggested. "You know, sometimes people play hard to get because they need to know that the other persons feeling are real. Let her know, Nathan. Let her know that you're not just going to give up."
"Oh, that's good," Peyton commented.
Brooke smirked. "I know right! I just totally came up with it!"
"And I'm leaving," Nathan chuckled before turning and making his way off of the deck.
"Take your time, Nathan," Peyton shouted after him. "Dinner will still be a few minutes."
Brooke shouted something but he couldn't make out the words. He continued walking towards the trees. She must have found the pound out back. With each step it only made him more nervous. Last time he had seen her she had been pretty pissed. She probably still was.
Still he walked faster. The sooner he got to her, the sooner he got to see that beautiful face. It felt like forever since he had seen it. He finally made it to the trees and made his way around them until he could see the pound coming up. Sure enough she was there.
Her arms were across her chest as she glanced out into the water. It was slowly starting to get dark and the sky was a perfect mixture of grey and orange. He didn't stop walking until he made it a few feet beside her. She noticed him and quickly glanced back out towards the pound. It was right in front of them.
"They sent me to come and get you," Nathan muttered before looking up. It was only then that he noticed her looking intently at him. Her arms were still crossed over her chest, protecting herself from him.
She nodded.
"I'll go," Nathan muttered before turning to walk off.
"Wait," Haley started. He turned quickly to face her. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't mean for you to leave like that…in that bad weather. I didn't want that. I'm sorry."
"It's ok."
"Not really," Haley stated as their eyes locked. "Look, I've been avoiding you because I'm still mad, Nathan…about everything. And I don't see that changing anytime soon. I heard what you said and a part of me wants to believe that it's the truth but the other part doesn't believe you and –"
"It was the truth," Nathan interrupted her.
She shrugged. "I don't trust you, Nathan."
"I'm not going to hurt you again," Nathan sighed. "It was all one big misunderstanding. All of it. Can't you see that now?"
"Either way, Nathan, I still don't trust you," Haley admitted. "Not after everything."
"Haley," Nathan started hesitantly. "I need to ask you something and I really don't want you to take it the wrong way, but I need to know what you want from me…from us…where are we now?" He glanced around nervously before looking back at her. He needed to know. Was he holding onto something that was just never going to happen or was there a chance for them. He couldn't keep sitting around waiting for her. That was driving him crazy. He needed to know if there was a chance or not. It was as simple as that.
"I don't know," Haley shrugged.
"What do you want us to be?" Nathan asked unsteadily.
"I don't know," Haley repeated. "Nathan, I can't answer that right now. It's too soon."
"I can," Nathan rushed out. "I want us to be together."
He wanted that more than anything. He stood his ground and didn't move an inch as she glanced away from him. She was looking down but he kept his eyes on her. He wanted her and he wanted her to know that. She had to know how he felt. He wanted her to know everything. He was done giving her space. If she wasn't going to realize that she belonged with him then he was going to have to make her realize it.
She finally looked back up. Her brown orbs locked on his and he took a deep breath. Didn't she know what happened when she looked at him this way? He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. His palms were starting to sweat and he could feel a strange stirring in the pit of his stomach.
"Why?"
He glowered at her.
"I mean, we're so far away from who we used to be, why even fight for it?" Haley asked before looking away from him for a few seconds. He noticed her hands shaking and he wanted to take them in his and comfort her.
"Because I love you," Nathan declared.
She glanced away shaking her head before wrapping her arms more secure around her chest. She took a deep breath before looking back up at him again.
"Look, I'm going to concentrate on music right now. Peyton's ready to start recording and I'm going to focus all my energy into that. So you should just do your thing…basketball, coaching, or whatever it is that you do now, something other than me, because I really don't know when I'm going to be ready for us again or even if I'm going to be ready for us at all."
"Haley, don't say that, God," Nathan mumbled glancing down.
"Nathan, I'm not saying it to be mean. Ok? I don't like hurting you. I'm just trying to be honest," Haley stated.
He couldn't help but glance away from her. She was saying that she didn't want to be with him and he was just supposed to take it? His heart was still hammering in his chest only now it was from the pain. That dull numbing pain was taking over and he fought to get control of himself. He kept on repeating Brooke's words over and over in his head again. She was just trying to protect herself. That's all this was.
"Look, I'm going to head back, alright?"
She took off walking and he quickly turned to face her.
"Haley," Nathan called out as she finally turned to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded. "Ok." Then he watched as she took a few steps before stopping and standing still. Her arms dropped to her sides still shaking. Even with her back facing him he could tell that she was breathing hard. He could hear her labored breathing.
She stood there in dark jeans, a green shirt, and her hair flowing down. His fists balled up to keep himself standing right where he was. It was really hard controlling himself whenever she was around. It wasn't healthy to want her like he did. He knew that.
She turned slowly to face him. "I think…I think that maybe…"
"What, Hales?" Nathan asked curiously. She was driving him absolutely crazy at the moment and he really wanted to know what she was thinking. Her whole body was tense as she stood before him. He took a step closer towards her without even thinking about it. They were too far apart.
"I think it would be best if we tried to be friends," Haley finally got out.
He looked at her in disbelief. "Friends? You think that we should be friends?"
"I just think that it would be better…you know, for Lucas and everyone if things weren't like this all the time. There's always tension between us and there shouldn't be. You're a part of their family Nathan and I feel like if we got along then things would be easier for them," Haley pointed out. "I don't want to fight you." She quickly added.
"Friends?" Nathan repeated.
"It's for the best, you know."
"I can't," Nathan shook his head. "There's no way that I can be just friends with you...it's all or nothing, Hales."
"What we can't even be friends now?" Haley asked hesitantly.
"No," Nathan shook his head and took a step closer. "I can't pretend to be friends with you. We've never been friends. I can't just pretend that I'm not in love with you. I'll never hide that. We'll never be friends, I want you too much, Hales."
"Nathan, please, stop that," Haley whispered looking down.
"I love you," Nathan declared honestly. "I've always loved you and I'm not going anywhere. You can focus on music and do your thing but I'll be focusing on you, Hales. I'm going to make you see that we belong together. You belong here in Tree Hill and if you hadn't of run away then you would know that, too. I love you too much just to be your friend."
"Forget I asked then," Haley muttered.
"Forgotten," Nathan stated while locking eyes with her. "You think that I'm going to hurt you again but you're wrong. I'm not. I know what it's like to lose you and I never want to go through that again. So you do your thing but I promise that I'm going to prove how much I love you."
He noticed her eyes watering and before a single tear could fall, he was in front of her. His lips landed on hers hungrily. He brought his hand to her cheek holding her to him as he continued to kiss her. Her hands were on his chest pushing as hard as she could but he didn't let that stop him. He kissed her as hard as he could. When her mouth finally surrendered to his, he slowed the kiss down. He made it last for as long as possible. Her hands were still on his chest trying to push him away but her mouth was still kissing him back. Her tongue was still in his mouth when air became an issue and he quickly pulled away before placing one last soft kiss on her lips. Her eyes were still shut tight and he quickly placed his forehead against hers, breathing her in as his hand caressed her cheek.
"You think about that tonight, Hales," Nathan whispered huskily. "Think about how you feel when I kiss you. Think about how you always kiss me back. And I'll be thinking about it, too." With that he slowly and reluctantly walked away. He was going to do whatever he could to get her to see how different he was, that they belonged together, and that she could trust him.