Chapter Ten
Darkness had fallen over the tiny hovel, almost causing it to lose its
place in the endless sea of night. Night could calm the bustle of the
marketplace and the sounds of everyday life, but it could not eliminate
life altogether, for life is not the impact we make on the world outside
our seemingly insignificant realm, but the impact we have inside ourselves
and inside those who mean more than the world to us. If thoughts could
have penetrated into the tangible world, sounds would have filled the
room; sounds of memories from years gone by, from just days ago, and
sounds of things long lost being found once again. But they couldn't... and
all was quiet. The quiet seemed strangely appropriate in some small way;
it was a tribute to the memories of previous days, maybe even to things in
the future than no one could quite see yet.
To Aladdin, sleep just didn't seem right. He knew he needed it; he knew
the other did, too, but it didn't matter. Sleep would not come until he
forced himself to do that one thing he felt he should have done in the
first place to avoid all the pain that had been caused. There was
something he had to say, although he felt at a loss of what it was. He
placed his head in his hands for what felt like the fiftieth time this
week. Aladdin felt so relieved, and yet, so unnaturally afraid. Now that
he had the second chance he had begged for, what would he do with it?
He looked at the assumedly sleeping figure of Iago and sighed. It was
funny how much Aladdin had figured out about him, and Iago didn't even
know it. He knew what Iago didn't want him to know, and in some way, he
didn't even want to know. Thinking of the similarities between Iago and
himself was depressing. They reminded Aladdin of his own unhappy life and
made him realize that although, like Iago, he had once wanted someone to
suffer with him, he now wanted only happiness for those around him. He had
to say something to let Iago know how he felt... but what?
Iago shivered in the desert air. Of course it was cold; it always was
at night. So, why was he shivering now? What am I afraid of? He
felt almost compelled to yell it out loud. I should have run out of
chances long before now. I've made so many stupid mistakes, never
bothering even once to think about the consequences. Still, every time I
do, someone bails me out, someone who cares about me... these people right
here. Suddenly, Iago realized something he never had before; he
realized how many times in one day he said the word I, thought
about only himself. It took a moment for this thought to make the
sense it really did. He had thought about others very few times in his
life. It was always him, his problems, his memories, his fears. It
had never before occurred to him that others had suffered just like him.
And as it did, it stung. There were others to worry about. He had spent so
much time feeling sorry for himself, he hadn't noticed that Aladdin had
been trying as hard as could when he too was having a hard time accepting
himself. Iago was afraid of something, but not for himself... for
Aladdin. There was something he had to say, but thank you just wasn't
enough...
Suddenly, both voices whispered at the same moment, "I need to say
something." Each was taken aback; neither had expected the other to
answer, let alone speak at the exact same time.
"What do you need to say?" Aladdin was the first to answer.
"No, you go first," Iago replied quickly, suddenly feeling a little
foolish for ever daring to make the previous statement.
Aladdin was quiet for a moment, focusing on what he would say next. The
last thing he wanted was another outburst like the other conversations he
had tried to initialize. "Iago, I don't want you to yell at me," Aladdin
began, "this is something I really need to say, and if you don't want to
answer, you don't have to; just listen, okay?"
"Okay..." Iago said slowly, a little nervous about what Aladdin was about
to spring on him. He told himself to take whatever it was in stride,
because he didn't deserve another chance. Just listen... he made a
deal with himself right there: whatever would happen in the future, he
would never run away from it again. He would face whatever there was for
him, because it was clear: running got him nowhere but lost.
"I just want to know one thing. Are you alright?" Aladdin's voice was
soft and compassionate.
"I - I'm fine..." Iago began.
Aladdin stopped him, "When someone says "˜fine,' they never are. Answer
me honestly. You know I'm your friend; I would never say anything to hurt
you. So, just give me an honest answer. Are you okay?"
"Uhhh..." Iago stammered. Part of him still wanted to lie, to avoid
bringing something so personal up, but the part of him that was afraid of
losing everything he had outweighed that greatly. "Sort of."
"Now we're getting somewhere," Aladdin smiled a tiny smile in the dark.
"Aladdin, this may not make any sense, but I don't think anything will
ever be "˜okay.'" He stopped to gather courage for what he was saying.
"Things are a lot better than they were before... you have no idea how much
better. Sometimes things just don't make sense. I don't know if I'm right
or wrong. I don't know how to act or what to say. I don't know what I can
overcome and what I can't."
Strangely enough, Aladdin continued smiling. "You have no idea how much
I do understand what you mean."
"The thing is, I know you know a lot more about me than even I know,
but I just don't like to talk about a lot of things, even to you," Iago
tried his best to explain.
"You can talk to me about anything," he knew better than to pressure
Iago, so his words were not forceful, but rather, made it clear that he
could talk if he wanted to.
"I want to; I want to more than anything. I - I just can't, not right
now."
"Why?" Aladdin continued his soft questioning.
The thought dawned upon Iago... why? What was it that made it so hard to
talk about the things he wanted to so badly? Not even knowing what he
would say, he opened his beak to begin talking, "I'm not ready," was all
he managed to get out at first, but when Aladdin did not answer, he
continued. "I want to be ready," his words were earnest, and he did not
even have to think as he said them. "I hope to be soon, but just not yet.
Sometimes, things are hard to think about, so I block them out. I'm happy
now, so for just a little while, I'd like to keep it that way."
"I understand," Aladdin said kindly. Really, he wished Iago would share
more, but this was more than he ever had before. "You're okay,
though, right?"
Iago found himself smiling as Aladdin had. It was the strangest feeling
to have someone ask him how he was feeling and really mean it; it was
amazing. He wanted to keep things this way forever if he could. Didn't
others deserve the same treatment? The word I had crept into the
conversation so many times once again. Knowing this made Iago's choice for
what he would say next easy. "I want to know something. Are you
okay?"
Aladdin didn't know what to say in return. Had Iago actually asked if
he was okay? "Ummmm..." he fumbled with his words, "ummm... I'm fine,"
he started.
"Aladdin," Iago interrupted, "you're always telling me to be honest.
Doesn't the same rule apply to you?"
Aladdin stopped to think about himself for a moment. He had always
expected others to tell the truth about how they felt when he wanted to
help, but had never thought about what he would say if he were ever asked
in return. "Well, yeah, I guess it does..."
Iago grinned, "There, ya see, was that so hard?"
Aladdin met him with the same smile. "Was that so hard? Um, I don't
think you should be talking, Iago."
Iago just continued to smile. He knew Aladdin was right. "Well, answer
me..."
"I think I'm going to be fine, Iago; in fact; I think I'm going to be
great," it was the first time Aladdin had ever really answered that, the
first time anyone had really ever asked, and he wanted the answer to be
honest... it was. "Iago, these past few days have proven something to me. I
always believed there was something special for everyone here, but I never
had reason to believe. I just did, and as time went on, I couldn't help
but wonder if maybe I had convinced myself of something that just wasn't
true. I mean, what could someone like me do to change the world? What was
my purpose even? Then I met Jasmine, and I got a whole new look at
everything. I thought there was no way anything could ever make me believe
in love and purpose more than that, but then, when I thought nothing could
make things make more sense than they already did, someone changed all of
that for me. Do you know who that is?"
Iago shook his head "no," feeling a little overwhelmed by all Aladdin
was sharing. He didn't seem at all afraid to share every feeling he had
ever experienced, everything he had ever been through. For Iago, sharing
something like this would have impossible; he just couldn't bring himself
to even think of opening up as Aladdin did, although sometimes he would
have given anything to be able to. Something inside him knew that someday
he would have the strength to do it, too. He already had gained the
strength to love, something he had before thought he would never have;
someday he would gain the strength to share everything he felt... someday.
"Iago," Aladdin continued, for once not realizing everything that was
going through Iago's mind, "that was you. You know, I don't like to admit
it, but we all judge. When you first came back, I just couldn't accept the
fact that anything about you had changed... I didn't even think that was
possible."
"Aladdin, stop," Iago said. "I didn't even believe I could change.
There is no way that I expect you to have believed it either. You know
what I did, and so do I."
"But that isn't the point," Aladdin continued. "I judged you, but then,
suddenly I was just given this responsibility... you had saved my life. I
had to trust you, so I told myself I did. The truth is that I didn't. I
wanted to trust you, but believe it or not, Iago, sometimes I don't want
to trust either. It's easier not to. But sometimes someone does something
so amazing that you have no doubt in your mind that you have to trust
them, because you know what they did was for you and that they would do it
again. You know it."
"I knew it, too," he mumbled to himself.
Aladdin heard his private comment. "What?"
Iago smiled, "I knew for once; I trusted myself."
Aladdin felt like he had everything else in the world left to say, but
he knew Iago was exhausted, and he was, too. So, he decided to end with
something special he had thought of the day before. "I just want you to
remember one thing, Iago: "˜love what you have now and hope for better days
in the future'..." he stopped for a moment. "There needs to be one more
thing, but I don't know it is just yet."
Iago smiled secretly to himself. "I do." Both Iago and Aladdin found
sleep came to them much more easily when their consciences were clear, and
they had said what they had pulled at their feelings all week. The cold
night passed quickly with nary a sigh from anyone sleeping in the hovel.
Soft dreams played on their minds, something Iago had longed for what felt
like forever.
When the morning dawned upon the city, first bouncing off the steeples
of the palace and meandering its way along the walks and corridors, no one
noticed the heat of the day replacing the refreshing coolness of the
night. It had been too long since that beautiful sleep had touched them, a
different type of sleep, the kind one wakes up from believing that the
morning is beautiful and that it really is the beginning of a brand new
day.
As she opened her eyes for the first time that morning, Jasmine was
experiencing the same feeling of comfort and was glad for that. After all,
these had been the first few days of her relationship with Aladdin, and
instead of being sweet and romantic, they had been stressful and
worrisome. Still, even knowing that their present trials had come to end,
she knew this somehow wasn't it. There was something more. Everything had
changed. She had realized it that night as she sat on her bed wondering if
what she had done was right. Now, it was clear: her to choice to listen to
Iago couldn't have been more right. Maybe at the beginning of this ordeal,
Iago had been Aladdin's problem, but everything had changed in that one
night. He wasn't Aladdin's problem, and he wasn't hers... he was their
friend. Knowing that had brought her to realize something else. Friendship
doesn't end when a problem is solved; friendship is there forever, in good
and bad times. There is always need for a friend.
With that in mind, Jasmine shoved back her covers and prepared herself
for the coming day. She had something special in mind.
A half an hour later, Jasmine was standing outside the doorway of the
hovel. "Are you guys awake yet?" she whispered, doubting any of them were
awake yet. "Guys?"
"Yeah..." Aladdin mumbled from the corner, not bothering to turn to face
her.
"Listen, Aladdin, I know it's early," she began quietly.
"Oh, no, no, it's not too early," he yawned.
"Yes, it is, and I'm sorry, but I just wanted to come get one of you,"
she explained, still remaining quiet, because the rest of the hovel was
still in a slumber.
"As long as we leave quietly, we won't wake anyone up; don't worry," he
said, taking her hand in his own.
"No," she replied, "I know you haven't seen me much in the last couple
days, and I promise I'll make that up to you soon," she planted a tender
kiss on his cheek. "But this morning I want to talk to Iago."
Aladdin smiled broadly. "Jasmine, you have no idea how happy that makes
me. I find it amazing that the two of you could become friends against all
odds, and I think an influence like you will be wonderful for him. I'm
just so lucky for my love to be so understanding and willing."
She wrapped her slender arms around his waist and whispered into his
ear, "You have amazing judgment. If you see good in someone, then I know
it's there." Moving away from him slightly, she said in a tone slightly
above a whisper, "Iago?" For a moment, she didn't receive an answer.
"Iago?"
"Huh?" he asked, shaking his head.
"Jasmine wants to talk to you, Iago," Aladdin explained.
"Why so early?"
"Because I want to show you something," she said, a bit of mystery
edging her voice.
"Okay..." he answered, unsure of what he was agreeing to.
A warm feeling came over both Jasmine and Iago as they finally came
upon the "˜mystery spot.' It was a place of beauty and light, with bright
colors emanating from every corner. Every shadow even had its own
true-to-life beauty. It was a familiar place, a place they had both seen
often. Jasmine had always seen its beauty. When life was filled with
sadness, and she was wary of happiness and trust, she had always found
solace here. For years, it had been her home, and she had grown to love
it. On the other hand, Iago, although he had witnessed it nearly as many
times as Jasmine, had never noticed beauty in the flowers or skies or
golden shadows. He had never before opened his eyes to let such beauty
penetrate into the heart he was so determined to hide. And so, although
everyday he saw what Jasmine had, he had never experienced it. More so, he
had never wanted to. But now... things were different. He wanted to
experience the things everyone around him did; he wanted to love them,
even if he did not want to admit it.
Iago hadn't spoken since they had entered the palace garden, and
Jasmine was determined to initiate some type of conversation. What they
would say didn't mean anything; the importance of it all was that they
would talk, and they would listen, and they would trust. "Does it look
different to you?" she asked cautiously.
"Look different from when?" he replied, although he was almost certain
of when she was talking about.
"Remember the conversation we had out here just a few days ago? I told
you that maybe the garden looked different because you were seeing the
world through a new set of eyes. Well, maybe that wasn't true then, but I
think it is now."
Iago thought about it for a moment. Then the garden had appeared
different, but he hadn't taken to time to appreciate the differences in
the entire world, let alone the garden. What had he cared? Nothing
mattered anyway. Now, things mattered. The garden was beautiful with the
sun slowly rising to the center of the sky, dancing off its iridescent
flowers and creating collages of light tricks on the palace walls. Maybe
this beauty would never really change the world, but one thing was true;
it was beautiful. He now understood how important it was to notice
the beauty in the world, even when it seemed impossible, because beauty is
easy to find; one just has to know where to look. He finally understood.
"I can't believe it's even the same garden," he started. "I saw this
garden everyday, but I never saw it."
Jasmine chuckled and patted him softly as he sat on the fountain next
to her. The sights before them were the same as they had been ages before,
before either of them had ever set foot on this earth. Somehow today,
everything seemed different, right. It had been that way all along, but
sometimes the pain in one's heart can cause one to miss all the things
that make life glorious. "Jasmine, I guess," he stopped, struggling with
what to say next, "I guess I just want to thank you... and Aladdin."
She couldn't believe it! Had Iago just thanked them? Thanked them
without expecting anything in return? "For - for what?" she stuttered.
"For making things glorious," he said with simple happiness in his
voice.
"Glorious?" Jasmine asked.
"Well," Iago explained, "not glorious in the way Reena described it,
but glorious none the less."
"I'm not following you, Iago..."
"Glorious isn't not having problems or sadness. Glorious isn't
perfection in the past, present, or future. What glorious is," Iago
stopped and smiled to himself, feeling more complete than he ever had
before and realizing he was blessed to finally be able to say these words
and truly mean it, "what glorious is... is hope and forgiveness and
realizing that you were wrong all along. Glorious is loving what you have
now, forgiving yourself for what you've done in the past, and hoping for
better days in the future, although I doubt things could be much better
than they are right now."
"Iago," Jasmine gasped, "that is the truest thing I've ever heard."
Iago couldn't stop smiling. "Don't tell anyone this, but it's the
truest thing I've ever said." Thank you, Aladdin... thank you for this
new beginning.
Glorious is...
Loving what you have now,
Forgiving yourself for what you've done in the past,
And hoping for better days in the future...
Glorious.
~The End~