AN: GAH, guys I am so sorry this took so long. I promise, next chapter will be done a LOT faster. But some exciting things have happened. Halo & I have posted the first NEW chapter of VR, both on Twilighted and on fanfic, so you should totally check out Volterra Rocks! if you have not already. Also, thanks to your support, Putting Lessons tied for 2nd place in the Dirty Talking Edward Contest with the fabulous Ninapolitan's story, Eduardo's Lessons of the Sexing.
Thank you also to everyone who reviewed. I try to respond to as many reviews as I can (usually the ones with a specific comment and/or question), but I do want to take this moment to say THANKS for reading and reviewing. You guys rock!
Song links are up on my profile and thanks to ALL my great forum buddies and friends, you are such great cheerleaders!
EPOV
From the first moment I'd seen her, I'd pursued Bella with an intense tunnel vision. Our first morning at the beach I laid in bed, watching her sleep, and tried to figure out when things had gone all topsy-turvy and wrong.
She was the one who was supposed to fall hard like a rock.
She was the one who was supposed to be lost without me.
She was the one supposed to be staring at me for hours while I slept.
I frowned and rolled over, turning my back to her, thinking that maybe some visual space might help me clear my head.
Nope. The vision of Bella's milky white limbs sprawled out against the sheets, a cloud of messy long brown hair a halo around her beautiful face, was still stamped across my retinas.
The only explanation was that I had totally lost my mind—over Bella.
I refused to admit that my heart was lost too. Just the possibility sent that very same organ into palpitations of fear and dread. I'd never loved a woman before besides my mother, Esme, and that had taken years and years of trust building. I still had trouble saying the words to her. My freaking mother, for god's sake.
I had always known I would care about Bella—I knew I would from the moment I first saw her, and I'd gone to work in making her mine, never thinking beyond my ultimate goal. And now that I had undoubtedly had Bella, what on earth was I going to do with her?
Before I could panic any further, Bella yawned and rolled over, her arms tangling around my waist.
"Edward," she asked sleepily, "are you awake?"
It spoke volumes that even though I was suddenly terrified, just Bella's voice was enough to harden my cock almost instantly.
"Oh yeah," I told her, loving the feel of her hands exploring my bare chest and abs. "I'm definitely awake now."
Bella giggled as I suddenly rolled over, meeting her mischievous gaze. "Did you get any sleep last night?" she asked.
I shook my head and laughed at her faux-innocent question. Nope, I wished I could say that I'd slept, or even if I hadn't, that Bella and I had spent the whole sleepless night burning up the sheets.
But instead, we'd tossed and turned on the sheets, having to listen to Rosalie and Emmett try to destroy the wall with their headboard.
I'd never known that having to hear such over-enthusiastic sex would turn me off so much. Even with Bella lying next to me, neither of us had done anything but laugh over Rose and Emmett for awhile, cuddling and exchanging sweet kisses that were loving but not exactly sexual.
Until this moment, all our physicality had been raw and passionate and sexual. Last night was the first time we hadn't had sex in weeks. At about 3 AM this morning, as Bella slept restlessly next to me during one of Rose and Emmett's breaks, I'd realized that was why I was so uneasy.
I'd been using sex to hide my heart away and to try to keep my emotions unengaged.
So far I thought I'd failed, but I still couldn't help but keep trying. It was so ingrained in me that I didn't even know what else to do. So I gathered Bella's naked body and pulled it toward mine.
"Edward," Bella breathed unsteadily, as my fingertips ran lightly over her skin, teasing her.
"Do you want me, Bella?" I asked as her eyelids drifted downward and her lips tilted towards mine pleadingly.
She barely could nod before I kissed her hard, her head bowing back and my body covering hers possessively.
There was a particularly loud whack against the wall behind us and I raised my head and let out a groan.
"No, no, no," Bella chanted, her hands digging into my back, trying to drag me back to her.
"No," I told her firmly, climbing off Bella and grabbing a piece of fabric—anything, really—before I walked toward the door.
I wrapped what I'd grabbed around my waist and knocked firmly and with as much annoyance as I could convey on Rose and Emmett's door. As it was, I had to knock about fifteen times before they decided to acknowledge me.
By the time Emmett finally cracked the door open and glared through the opening, my expression was positively glacial.
"What the hell do you want?" Emmett hissed, using the door to shield his nakedness. "I'm kind of busy here."
"Yeah, that's the problem," I cut him off. "You getting busy is not only putting a dent in the wall, but a serious dent in my time with Bella."
Emmett had the nerve to smirk with obnoxious self-satisfaction. "Putting a little crimp in your groove, huh?"
"I can't believe you're not putting a crimp in Rose," I responded dryly. "But yes. You are. And you need to stop. Now."
Emmett crossed his arms. "No way, man. Not gonna happen, even if I wanted it to, and I don't. Rose is freaking insatiable."
"And you think Bella isn't?" I arched an eyebrow and watched Emmett's mouth open and close, flounder-like, for a good thirty seconds.
"Could you make up your mind sometime this century?" I asked with annoyance rife in my voice. "It's cold as fuck in this hallway and I'd like to get back to Bella."
Emmett opened his mouth to answer but before he could get a single word out, Rosalie bellowed from behind the closed door, "Emmett! Tell him to go to hell and get your ass back in here."
Shrugging Emmett began to close the door.
"No!" I yelled and stuck my foot between the door and the frame.
"I swear," Rose hollered again, "if you don't leave in five seconds, Edward, you're going to wish you weren't born."
"Is that because I'm going to have to see you naked?" I raised my voice so it would definitely carry through the crack that was left. Emmett's expression grew positively territorial, and it was only then that I remembered how many times he'd kicked my ass in the last twenty years. Yeah, time to go.
I turned abruptly and, removing my foot from the doorway, headed back to the room I shared with Bella.
Right before I closed the door behind me, I heard Emmett's cackling laugh and him call out, "Nice doughnut pjs there, buddy!"
I glanced down and grimaced at what I'd grabbed from the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed: Bella's Victoria Secret pajama bottoms with brightly colored doughnuts all over them. Lovely.
Bella took one look at me and burst into uncontrollable giggles. Even better.
But she was so gleeful that I couldn't help but smile too.
I unwrapped the pajama pants from around my waist and tossed them on the floor with one last glare before I climbed back into bed. I'd just gathered Bella back into my arms when the insufferable banging began again. Clearly Rose hadn't wasted a speck of time once Emmett had returned to bed.
Bella groaned and wiggled out of my arms, nearly causing me to groan in unison with her. Her head fell back against the pillow and she was so adorable with her nose scrunched in annoyance that I nearly forgot how much I wanted to screw her.
Almost.
"Let's take a walk," Bella said, turning her head slightly so she could look at me.
The sun was just rising and no doubt the beach would be beautiful. Still, I was embarrassingly reluctant to leave the confines of the bed and the possibility of sex.
Bella frowned, apparently not liking my long pause, and crawled out of bed, to my dismay.
"Bella. . .?" I asked beseechingly, my hand reaching for her. She slapped it away and continued to look for her clothes.
Finally turning back towards me, she asked, "are you coming or not?" before slipping out the door.
I was an idiot, but I wasn't stupid. I threw on some jeans, a hoody and slid into the slip-on Converse I'd brought and was ready in under two minutes.
Bella was outside on the porch, her feet tucked under her, and her head resting on her knees. She had a contemplative, almost sad expression on her face and I felt a fission of fear work through my heart.
How could she be mad?
She was a woman, wasn't she?
All I did was pause and think about whether I really wanted to go for a walk. It's like six freaking AM in the morning—who wants to walk then?
Watch out or she's going to start thinking you only want sex from her. . .
I continued my inner debate for a good ten seconds before finally sitting down next to her and trying to make right what I hadn't realized I'd screwed up.
"You okay?" I asked softly, putting one arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
She turned to look at me and to my surprise her eyes were clear and untroubled. I could have sworn she'd been upset just a moment ago. Clearly, I was losing my mind. My own worries were beginning to overflow and spill into Bella. I didn't need that sarcastic twit in my head telling me that wasn't good. It went without saying.
All I knew was that I couldn't mess this up. Not here. Not with Bella.
So I stood and offered Bella my hand and we started walking towards the beach.
Having not really been outside of the house yet, I hadn't realized we were only a block from the beach.
"This is a great location," I said casually, still unable to beat the feeling that something was wrong into submission. Better, I decided, to act like was nothing wrong and go from there.
"Yes, we come here every year. For years." Bella said, and though her voice did sound normal, there was just a tinge of something that worried me. Something that sounded a little bit too much like resignation.
Hell, the last thing I wanted Bella to be was resigned to me. I wanted her to be just as happy she'd found me as I was that I'd found her. And I was pretty fucking thrilled.
"Really? Isn't it hard to get a rental this many years counting?"
Bella turned toward me and stopped in the middle of the road. The skin between her brows puckered and she said, "This isn't a rental. She owns it."
I couldn't contain my shock. "What? Are you kidding me? Do you know how much these are worth? Not even the house—but the land too."
Bella nodded and began walking, and didn't answer me until we had gone a few feet and were right on the edge of the stone steps that wound their way towards the beach below.
"Careful, these are slippery," Bella advised.
As if illustrating her own point, the first step she took almost sent her sprawling onto the rocky ground, but I caught her arm just in time and dragged her toward me. I held her until her balance was restored and couldn't help but laugh at her self-recriminating frown.
"What is it sweetheart?" I asked playfully, tucking her head under my chin, and tracing the length of her spine with my hands.
"I'm so lame," Bella said, rolling her eyes and blushing slightly.
"No, never," I exclaimed, my head dipping down to graze the side of her neck with my lips. "You, Bella" I murmured into her skin, "are the most beautiful, the most intelligent, most charming girl I have ever had the luck to meet."
She giggled a little, and she sounded so ridiculously, perfectly happy that my heart stuttered and I felt it begin to race harder in my chest.
But I knew I had to get control of myself and my stupid fears before I totally fucked this up. Even though what I could potentially feel for this girl scared the ever living shit out of me, the possibility of losing her was a far, far worse proposition.
"Come on," I said softly, tugging on her hand, and leading her carefully towards the steps again. "I'll help you this time."
Slowly and carefully we picked our way down the rocks and I kept a close eye out for Bella's footing. Of course, about halfway down, I'd teased her about her choice of flip flops for hiking conditions, and she'd playfully slapped my arm. But of course, since this was Bella, it totally threw her off balance and I'd had to hold onto her yet again so she didn't go toppling down the cliff.
By the time we made it down, though, I had her laughing at her own clumsiness, which was something I hadn't even managed so far. This was one of the few times when I thought that maybe the far too charming Masen genes were good for something.
Of course, Bella had been right. The sunrise on the beach was beyond glorious and it was nearly deserted which meant I could grab her and kiss her nearly anytime I wanted on our walk down the beach.
We'd rolled up our jeans and I held our shoes in one of my hands, and we were enjoying our little stroll tremendously when Bella pulled the sand out from underneath me again.
"So Edward," she began far too casually, and instinctively, my antenna went up. "You were adopted by the Cullens."
She didn't ask a question but I answered anyway. I knew what was coming and I didn't like it. "Yes," I replied shortly, hoping that the conversation would end there but knowing it wouldn't.
"How old were you when you went to live with them?" she asked, looking up at me with so much god damned kindness, I wanted to bleed out right there, onto the sand. But not talking about it and holding back were relentlessly ingrained in me and all I could manage to get out was, "Ten. I was ten years old."
Her grip on my hand tightened and though I refused to look, I could sense that her eyes were brimming with sympathy and understanding.
Bella was too good to leave it alone, though probably she would temporarily if I asked her to. So finally, letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding, I decided to just tell her the whole story and get it over with. I hated dwelling on the misery of my childhood and I believed wholeheartedly that I'd begun living the second I'd met Esme and Carlisle, who I considered my real parents.
"My dad was a pimp. My mom was his prostitute. She wanted to keep me; he didn't. He couldn't beat her enough to convince her to get rid of me, and even after I was born, he hated her for it. For taking something he didn't want to give. Finally, when I was ten, he killed her. He went to jail. I was adopted by the Cullens."
I heard Bella's shocked gasp next to me, but I couldn't turn to look at her. A good minute or two passed before she spoke again. I stood staring at the ocean, but not seeing a single drop as I waited for her to figure out what to say.
"Edward, that's awful. I am so sorry you had to go through that," Bella murmured, so sweetly and with so much emotion clogging her voice that I wanted to run.
But I couldn't run. This was Bella. She deserved better. So I forced myself to turn towards her and gather her back into my arms. I felt the remnants of her tears leak through the fabric of my hoody and panic welled inside me. She cared a lot—obviously. This should have thrilled me, but instead I wanted to turn back the clock and make her care a little bit less.
"Edward," Bella said softly, and I brushed the satiny smooth skin of her cheek and down to her chin, and tipped her head up.
Before she could say another word, I let my lips brush hers softly, once, then twice. I let her deepen the kiss and she did, opening her lips and letting her tongue touch mine.
I tightened her against me and felt the all too familiar hunger course through me. I told myself that I wasn't using sex to distract from my confession, but I didn't examine my motives too closely. My body told me it wanted Bella, and hell, I was going to indulge.
"Let's go find an abandoned part of beach and have some fun," I murmured into her mouth.
Bella gasped and then laughed. "You're crazy."
"Surely you haven't done it on the beach before?" I asked slyly, hoping to appeal to her sense of adventure.
No such luck. "Uh yeah," she said, pulling away and crossing her arms over her chest. "It was sandy and cold and unpleasant."
I arched one eyebrow. "Do you really think it would be unpleasant with me?" I asked, running my hands up her arms and resting them on her shoulders. I wanted her so bad I thought my cock would burst out of my jeans. After a steady Bella diet for three weeks, apparently certain parts of my anatomy couldn't handle even a tiny fast.
"Well. . ." she paused. "No. But yes. I'd be cleaning sand out of me for a week. And that is enough to make me want to at least request a non-sandy surface." Her expression was determined and I wanted to howl in protest.
"So sand-cleaning is trumping headboard banging then?" I asked grumpily, wondering how much longer I could really hold out without having her.
"It is," she responded with a smile. "Besides, I bet they're done by now."
I doubted it, but I still nearly ran back to the house, dragging Bella by the hand behind me.
As it turned out, Bella was right, they were done, but both of us had failed to think of the Alice factor. She wasn't doing any headboard banging—at least at the moment—but she was all excited about our plans for the day and couldn't wait to get started with them.
Alice had decided, and had managed to convince Jasper, that the best thing to do today would be to drive two hours to Newport and visit the aquarium that had housed Keiko once upon a time. I thought this was an incredibly lame idea and argued that I didn't want to travel more than five minutes away from the bedroom, but I was soundly vetoed.
In a final act of futility, I'd attempted to pull Bella into the shower with me, but she'd resisted pretty soundly, pointing to the 4x4 size and how we'd probably both need a chiropractor if we attempted that.
I argued, pointlessly, and ad nauseum, that she was worth any chiropractor visit, but she'd only laughed and left the bathroom and my blue balls behind.
As I soaped up in the shower, I tried to think of how long this aquarium trip could even take. We'd be home in a few hours. I could even wait a few hours, especially since I'd be spending some quality time with Bella. I'd just tell her to wear a skirt.
It turned out that Bella and I surprisingly similar ideas regarding clothing choices, and she was wearing a rather short denim skirt that was already a new favorite. That one was definitely going to go in the spank bank for later.
We climbed in the car and I prophesied direly that we'd all regret making this trip. Both Alice and Bella threatened my life and I shut my trap, but knowing I was right.
BPOV
Edward was right.
We never should have gone to the aquarium. It had seemed like a rather fun idea when Alice had suggested it, but both she and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie liked to bicker. Loudly.
Suffice it to say, it was a very long two hours.
Alice had talked up the aquarium big time as being the one time home of Keiko, the doomed whale, but when we got there, we quickly realized our mistake. Or Alice's mistake.
We soon learned that there were way too many types of fish and that the Newport Aquarium had way too many of them. An hour into the tour, I grabbed Edward by the pocket of his cargo shorts and hauled him into a dark corner in the underground dolphin tank, or wherever the hell we were.
"We need to get out of here," I hissed at him, arms crossed in annoyance.
"Hey, I'm all for that," Edward said with a rather infuriating smile, "but let's remember this was your idea."
"Actually it was Alice's, if we're going to get technical," I snarked back.
"You supported her. I didn't want to leave the bedroom," he pointed out self-righteously and I hated to admit that he'd had the right idea. My panties were wet, and we'd barely touched since getting here. All I had to do was think of everything that the last three weeks had been, and I was on like a faucet.
"I don't care!" I nearly screeched in desperation, and several people looked my way strangely, "I just have to get out of here. Now. I need you."
Edward chuckled and I felt a strange desire to fuck that particular self-satisfied sound out of him.
"Let's go to the car," I suggested seductively, feeling Naughty Bella, who'd been in control more and more lately, begin to take control.
"Right now? What about your fear of exhibitionist sex?" Edward asked innocently, his green eyes going wide. He was being a little bitch, all because I hadn't wanted to scrape my insides with sand earlier. He was totally going to pay for that.
I snaked my hand halfway up his shorts and let my fingers stroke his thigh muscles. "I know you're angry about this morning, baby," I cooed, "let me make it up to you."
Edward's eyes darkened and his lips twisted into a rather sexual grin. "You're on."
He slipped his hand in his pocket and took out his cell phone. Pressing buttons quickly, he muttered, "I'm just going to tell Emmett where we are. He'll keep the hysteria down if anyone notices we're gone."
I snorted. "Everyone's so bored they're nearly catatonic. That's not going to happen."
"Exactly. Now let's split." He grabbed my hand and we wandered back through the entrance. The ticket taker waved at us cheerily and we waved back with equal happiness to be out of that oceanic hellhole and onto something a lot more interesting.
"Backseat," I breathed unsteadily, as Edward slipped his hands up my skirt, the calluses on his fingers rubbing against the sensitive skin on my inner thighs.
"Just a second," he whispered. "There's something I want to do first."
"We're outside the car!" I hissed at him. Sure we'd parked in the far corner of the parking lot, and it wasn't that busy, even considering the holiday weekend. Clearly most vacationers were a lot smarter than us.
"I'm hiding you, mostly. Nobody can see," he reassured me, sliding his fingers up further and taking my panties with them. He slid them down my legs quickly and stuffed them in a pocket in his shorts, before returning one hand up my skirt.
"I don't want you to make a single noise," he breathed into my ear. "Not a peep."
My knees wobbled unsteadily and I nodded.
"Okay, good. Now, Bella, I want you to come for me."
His fingers rubbed my exposed pussy hard and I nearly fell into his hand the pleasure was so sudden and immediate. In the last three weeks he'd learned to play me like a virtuoso, and I was nearly singing now as his thumb rubbed my clit in maddening circles.
I panted hard, and Edward ducked his head, sucking my earlobe into his mouth. I groaned a little and with a swift admonition he slapped a hand over my lips. Sinking my teeth into his skin, I felt him jolt, and then in reciprocation, he sank two fingers into me.
I couldn't take it anymore. The pleasure was building fast and hard and I felt myself begin to lose control a little, but not quite enough. It was so good and I wanted to come so much that I strained a little against Edward's hands, needing more.
He bit down hard on my earlobe, and I clenched around his fingers and nearly hit the side of the car.
"Steady, steady," Edward murmured as I came back down to earth. "Let's get you in the car."
I couldn't argue with that logic, and I climbed in the open door he held for me. The second Edward was in the car and the door closed behind him, we fell on each other, kissing as though we could never get enough.
Edward dragged me onto his lap, and I straddled him as my mouth devoured his. "Have to have you now," Edward panted, breaking contact for a second to hurriedly unzip his pants. I moved against him and we both groaned.
He pushed my skirt up, and I sank down hard onto his hard length.
God, it was better than chocolate or roses or even dinner at the Rogue Brewery.
Edward was better than anything good, all rolled into one man who was sensitive and charming and intelligent and all mine.
I knew it in that second, in a completely irreversible way, and I had to bite down on my lip to keep those three little words from simply exploding out of me.
I loved Edward Cullen.
Edward hissed in pleasure and anchored his hands hard around my hips and I grasped his shoulders as we moved together perfectly in unison. The car jerked as we moved harder, and finally, as his fingers dug into my hips, I exploded, and he followed soon after.
I collapsed onto his shoulder, breathing hard, and he curled one arm around me possessively.
The words welled up again in my throat and I nearly had to blink back tears of happiness and realization. I knew I was stupid not for not just letting them fall lightly off my lips, but Edward had been behaving strangely the last few days, almost as if he were scared of the place we were inevitably heading. I didn't want to run him off. I would wait until he told me first, and I never doubted, not for a single second, that he didn't love me too.
I know, not at ALL what you were expecting. Neither was I, really. I wanted to make these next few chapters really light and fluffy, and well, the characters decided that was not meant to be. Yes, Edward cares about her. Yes, Edward is terrified. Yes, there will be more about this in future chapters! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!