AN: Thanks for the reviews. Sorry most of you didn't like last chapter. Haley's still all kinds of messed up and she needs to fix herself before she can really let Nathan all the way back in. He's such a sweetie. I just can't seem to write him any other way. That's just how it comes out for me. I don't think I've ever really had him be bad. I'm actually working on two stories now where he's really bad and that's new for me. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I always see Nathan as the good sweet guy. I like him that way. Lol. Back to this story. Their both going through some things now that they'll have to deal with. They've both been through a lot over the years and I think that Haley's still dealing with a lot of things. She was so far away from who she used to be and I think finally, now that she's forgive Nathan and herself, that's she slowly getting back to that person. I know that most of you were pissed about the marriage thing and I get it. I want Nathan to have what he wants too. I just think it's normal for someone to lose faith in something they once believed in. Plus, she's been gone over nine years and we don't really know what's happened to her and lets not forget that Chris ran out on their wedding. Like I said, the girl is all kinds of messed up. But she's falling in love with Nathan again and I hope she gets it together soon! This story is only 31 chapters. Please let me know what you think.
Quote of the Day:
(about Bela)
Dean: Can I shoot her?
Sam: Not in public
Chapter Nineteen –Never The Same
It was a nice cool night. He loved sitting on his back porch and taking in the view from there. It was one of the reasons he'd bought the house in the first place. It had a huge backyard. The pool was nice and big. Last year during the summer he had put in a slide for the kids when they came over. The rest of his backyard was where he had his basketball court. He hadn't played back there since Hayden had last been over. It seemed like such a long time ago.
He brought his beer to his mouth and took another drink as he watched the day fade into night. The sky was a bright orange.
He used to love nights like this when there was nothing but the silence.
Now being out here alone didn't feel right. Nothing about the last few days had been right. Three days. Three whole days had past since that fateful Saturday night when she had basically told him that there was no future for them. He had been sulking. He couldn't help it either. It's just the way it was.
He hadn't been anywhere since then. He stayed home and called in sick at school. He knew that Lucas would take over with the team. It's not like anyone needed him.
His porch swing had quickly become a second home to him. He found himself mostly here these last few days, sitting and taking in the view of that beautiful sky. Of course, he always had a beer in his hands at night. He tried his best to eat even though he didn't feel like it. It was slowly becoming a routine. He could easily stay out here forever. It wouldn't bother him none. He liked the view. It was nice.
She had called. She had called that night after he left, the next morning then later that night again. It seemed like she was starting a pattern of her own because everyday, twice a day, she would call his phone. It didn't matter though. He hadn't answered. She left messages and he tried his best not to listen to them. In fact, he hadn't listened to most of them. He really didn't want to talk to anyone about this. Its why hadn't gone anywhere.
Everyone else had tried calling also. He didn't answer.
She had come by yesterday after school. As hard as it was to sit here and listen to the doorbell constantly go off, it would have been harder to see her. He couldn't face her now…not after everything. Maybe after a few more days of this, of sitting her and doing nothing, then maybe he could see her and not have it affect him.
He knew it was stupid but he somehow needed this.
He needed time to heal.
How could anyone expect him to get over her in just a few days? This was going to take time. She meant everything to him, how was he just supposed to let that go? Even her leaving all those years ago hadn't made him let her go. He just didn't know how to do it. It seemed impossible.
This was all so hard.
They were so close and now…nothing.
He didn't understand it. He could understand her being afraid of the future. He even expected her to have reservations. But to say that she never wanted to get married, ever, he just couldn't understand her reasoning for that. It all came back to one thing. She didn't have faith in them…him. She didn't believe that they would make it. She didn't believe in them.
He wasn't angry with her, how could he be? She was only being honest with him. Better now than a few years down the road when he was actually ready to purpose to her only to find out that she'd never wanted to be married. That would've hurt a lot worse. That would've been way harder.
Better now, he thought.
The wounds would've been way deeper down the road. It was better that this came up now. Now he didn't have to wonder what their future would be like. They weren't going to have one at all. It was over. They would never be any of the things he hoped they'd be.
In the distance he noticed a flock of birds. He watched as they flew by until the last one was gone and he couldn't see them anymore. He took another drink of his beer finishing it off. He placed it down on the ground next to the other three empty bottles before reaching in the small ice chest right next to him and pulling out another one. He opened it easily and just held it in his hands.
The back door opened and he didn't bother to look and see who it was. His brother walked silently until he reached the chair a few feet away from the swing. He took a seat before reaching into the ice chest and pulling out a beer for himself.
"You want to talk about it?" Lucas asked carefully.
He shook his head before bringing his beer to his mouth. "No, not really."
His brother didn't say anything just like he wanted. They sat there in the silence for a few minutes both of them looking out at the view. They'd done this a lot over the years. It didn't matter what happened in their lives so far, they'd always managed to get through it. Back in college Lucas visited him often. Most of the time with Peyton, but every once in while he'd come alone and they'd just sit outside and drink. It was those times that he knew that his brother and his wife had been fighting. It hadn't happened often but when it did they filled the silence just sitting there together.
But this time was different. He knew his brother had come here for a reason and there was no use trying to act like he didn't.
"What brings you here?" Nathan asked. He finally turned to face his brother and noticed that he was dressed up. He glanced at him for a few seconds.
"Hadn't heard from you in a few days," Lucas shrugged. "Come to see how you were doing with everything."
With one look, Nathan knew that his brother knew. Just this once he wished that his personal life wasn't common knowledge. He didn't want anyone knowing about this. Lucas knew how much he wanted a family. This made everything all the more harder. Now, they'd all feel sorry for him and he would have to sit there and pretend not to notice that he was the only one without a wife and kids. Sometimes it sucked having people know you so well.
"I'm fine," Nathan answered.
"It's ok if you're not," Lucas pointed out. "No one expects you to be. I heard about what happened. Peyton kind of filled me in. I thought I'd give you some space for a few days. I can't even imagine what you're going through. If it had been me then –"
"But it's not," Nathan interjected. "You married the love of your life and you have everything you've ever wanted, remember? The kids, the white picket fence."
"You're right," Lucas nodded. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Nathan sighed. "I'm the one that screwed everything up."
"Nathan, no you didn't."
"I did," Nathan continued. "None of this would've happened if I'd done things right the first time around. I think about it a lot, you know. How different our lives would be if I hadn't of made that one mistake. We'd be married by now, I know it. She wouldn't have any doubt that we belong together. We'd be happy. Our kids would play with yours…it's just so stupid." He shook his head before glancing away. It was stupid to want something that clearly wasn't in the cards for him.
"That's not stupid and it's ok for you to want that," Lucas explained sympathetically.
Here we go, he thought. This is what everything from now on would turn into, concern for him. Just like always they'd worry about how he was doing and if he was taking care of himself, like was a child. He hated it. What was the point of being good now? If he couldn't have her then what was the point? What was the point of the last nine years?
"Why?" Nathan asked suddenly. "I'm never going to have it."
"You don't know that," Lucas pointed out.
"She said that she never wanted to get married, Luke. So yeah, that pretty much means that it's never going to happen for me," Nathan bit back. He hated that his anger was taking over again. He didn't want to yell at Lucas. It's why he had stayed home these last few days. He just couldn't seem to control his emotions.
"Nathan, I know you love Haley and I know that this has been hard for you but maybe if you both want different things…then maybe you need to move on and find someone that wants the same things that you want," Lucas said carefully. With the way he was looking at him, Nathan knew that his brother had a hard time saying what he just told him.
He glared at his brother. "Don't you get it? I don't want any of that stuff if it's not with her. This isn't just about having a wife and a family. It's about having it all with her. It means nothing if I can't have it with her, Lucas."
How was he supposed to just marry someone else? He'd never love anyone as much as he loved Haley. It wouldn't be fair to whoever married him. He'd never love them enough. They'd never be enough. And he would have to live with the fact that he was capable of so much more love but he wouldn't be able to love her like that. It just wouldn't be fair to anyone.
Lucas didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. There was nothing that his brother could tell him that would make this all ok. It was what it was, over. No one could make that better.
"You know what I've been doing these last few days?"
Lucas glanced at the empty beer bottles on the ground. "I could guess."
"I've been sitting here and letting it all play out in my head," Nathan admitted tiredly.
"Letting what play out?" Lucas asked confused.
"Our whole life together…how it should've been," Nathan answered. He'd seen it all. Them being happy as they fell in love again, him finally proposing at just the right moment and her saying yes, Haley and Brooke planning the wedding and driving him crazy with all their plans, their wedding day and night, their first time together, their first kid, and their whole life. It all flashed before his eyes.
It was a beautiful dream and he never wanted it to end.
This was so stupid. He hadn't even proposed to her. This wasn't even supposed to be happening now. They'd only had a few weeks. That's it. Was that all fate had planned for them? Just a few weeks? It hardly seemed fair to bring her back just to take her away again.
At least, they'd been the best few weeks of his life. At least, he had that. He would never forget them. Fuck, he needed to talk about something else, anything else.
"Where are you going dressed like that?"
"Uh…there's this thing tonight at Tric," Lucas mumbled hesitantly.
"What thing?"
"Nothing really."
"Lucas, quit the bullshit. What is it?" Nathan asked.
"Haley's performing," Lucas muttered.
He glanced away before nodding his head. This didn't surprise him. He knew that Peyton had been planning to have Haley perform one night at Tric to get a little exposure. Still. Somehow it hurt just thinking about it. She was getting closer and closer to her dream –her dream that didn't involve him. His insides cringed at the thought.
Maybe that's why things just wouldn't work out. She wanted a life on the road touring. City after city, state after state. She'd probably never be in one place long enough to stay still. She'd be doing what she always did. Run. It's what she did.
She couldn't stay in one place long enough for it to hold her down. She'd never slow down. He would never be able to keep up with her. Lucas was right. They did want different things.
"And you think I should go?" Nathan guessed after a few minutes of awkward silence.
Lucas cleared his throat. "Yes. She wants you there, little brother. We all miss you."
"And what?" Nathan questioned angrily. "I'm just supposed to swallow my pride and forget about what happened because it's the right thing? I don't think so. Screw that."
"You're a better man than that."
"I can't…" he shook his head.
"I understand if you can't go and more importantly I think she understands it to. You know we've all been worried about you these last few days, but Haley…man, I've never seen someone worry so much in my life. This is driving her crazy and she didn't even want to go on tonight but Peyton talked her into it. It makes a guy wonder, if a girl cares that much, that has to mean something, right?"
He brought his beer to his mouth and took a long swig. He didn't bother turning and watching his brother stand up. He kept his eyes on the sky. It was slowly fading darker and darker.
Lucas didn't see things the way that he did. He could see it in his brother's eyes that he believed that things would work out for him because he wanted it to. Lucas thought that he would get everything he wanted in life and he'd have Haley. Well, Lucas's optimism could kiss his ass. Lucas didn't see the look in her eyes when she said that she didn't believe in marriage anymore.
"You have no idea what it's like to need someone so much it hurts," Nathan said simply. He could close his eyes and wish with all his might that she'd be his forever. It didn't mean that it would actually work. If that was the case then she'd already be his.
"I'll come check on you tomorrow, Nate."
Then he was gone. He sat there alone once again in silence. Why did everything have to be so hard for him? Lucas, Peyton, Julian, and Brooke, they had all got what they wanted. Why couldn't he have what he wanted? It just wasn't fair. For a second he let himself hate her for coming back. But just like every other bad feeling he had for her over the last three days, it was just gone. Somehow that aching in his heart kept getting bigger and bigger. He didn't understand. More importantly, he didn't know why he felt like a different person now. Somehow, he just wasn't the same for some reason.
~***~
Butterflies filled her whole body. Well, they were more like giant butterflies flying around inside of her. She sat nervously under the vanity in the dressing room at Tric. She would be going on soon and it wasn't helping matters that the stupid clock on the wall was ticking so loudly. This was all happening so fast. One minute she's talking about her dream and then the next she's going to actually sing in front of a room full of people.
Part of her was so excited to get back up on stage again and perform for the first time in what felt like forever. The other part of her didn't even want to be here. How could she?
Things had gone so bad with Nathan Saturday night. Horrible is more like. She had been an idiot and hurt his feelings. He was being so sweet and tender with her and she just ruined it. After he had left she'd cried for hours, especially after he didn't answer his phone. She had tried calling again and again but he never picked up.
She had talked to Brooke about it Sunday night and Brooke suggested that she give Nathan a little space. So she did. She didn't go over Sunday night like she wanted. Instead when he didn't show up for work she just had to go and make sure that he was ok. It was her fault that he was hurting and she didn't want that.
God, why did she have to plan that stupid night? If she would have just gone with her gut and not listened to Brooke and Peyton then maybe none of this would have happened? It didn't help matters that they were all drunk that night. Brooke had felt horrible after they talked Sunday and she kept on telling her how sorry she was. She couldn't be mad at Brooke though. Brooke didn't make her do all those things. She could have stopped it. She should have stopped it.
It had been so perfect up until she opened her big mouth and told him that she hadn't had sex yet. Things would have gone just fine if she hadn't of said anything. Sure he would've known once they started but then it would have been too late and the talk about marriage wouldn't have happened. This all was just one big mistake.
The worse part of it all is that she really had hurt him.
Things had been going so perfect before in the living room. His hands, his mouth, and his words had all been perfect. He had said the right things, touched her the right way, kissed her so intensely that she knew she'd never forget it. As they were kissing she had realized that it had been the right perfect moment with the perfect guy. She didn't want to experience sex with just any person. She wanted it to be with Nathan. She had never wanted him more than she did that night. She didn't think it was possible to feel the things she felt that night. But she did. She'd never wanted anything like that before.
It was a new feeling for her. Somehow her body seemed to crave his now more than ever. Every night she had been having dreams of the two of them making love. She didn't tell that to Brooke though. She didn't want to be made fun of again. She was sure that Brooke would get a good laugh out of that.
Brooke and Peyton had been so great these last few days. Brooke was always there and when Haley had told her everything that happened she just sat there and held her while she cried. Then she told her that everything was going to be ok and somehow she believed Brooke's words. Peyton had been there recording with her whenever she wanted. And when she asked Peyton to tell her stories about things that she missed she would tell her everything. She told her all about watching Lucas and Nathan becoming brothers, she told her about Duke, basketball, and how much Nathan loved it all, she told her about the accident and about him learning to live with the fact that he wouldn't play in the NBA. She would sit there and listen to it all and hate herself for not being there for him.
It had been such a huge mistake to leave all those years ago. Things would be so different for them if she hadn't of run away. She'd missed him so much.
She hummed softly to herself, her eyes shut tight, and her hands over her ears. Nothing seemed to calm her nerves tonight. A loud clapping sound came and she opened her eyes quickly to see Brooke looking at her like she was crazy.
"What are you doing?"
"You know, just hanging out under the vanity. Singing the finale to Les Mis," Haley answered as she stood up.
"Ok, I don't know what that means. But Peyton sent me in here to tell you that it's almost time. You ready?"
She took a deep breath. "As I'll ever be."
"I don't want to freak you out or anything but this place is packed," Brooke stated as she marched across the dressing room and started flipping through the clothing rack.
Somehow the butterflies seemed to get bigger. She didn't know what the hell was wrong with her. She'd performed in front of a way bigger crowd than this one. She'd be fine once she got on stage but standing here in this room, it was killing her.
For the hundredth time that day her thoughts seemed to drift to Nathan. What was he doing? Was he ok? Did he hate her now? Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Did he still want her? Did he have this newfound craving for her like she did for him?
If it was possible she'd missed him more now that she had all those years ago when she left Tree Hill and she had missed him a lot back then. So much that she locked herself in her room and cried most of the day and night until her body was too exhausted and couldn't do anything else but sleep.
This was a different kind pain than before.
Somehow over the last few weeks her feelings started to change towards him. That'd been doing so well. She missed their nights together, cuddling up with him on the sofa as they watched TV, him holding her close. She missed their morning's right before school. She missed simple things like washing the dishes with him right next to her. These last few days even surrounded by her closest friends she'd felt so lonely. None of them were Nathan.
"Is –is he here?" Haley asked nervously.
Brooke frowned before looking away. "I don't think so, sweetie."
"Yeah, I figured," Haley muttered. She didn't expect him to be here. She knew he didn't want to see her. She had hurt him so badly that she was sure that he'd never want to see her again. She closed her eyes at the thought.
"Hey, but everyone else is here," Brooke smiled reassuringly.
She smiled back even though she didn't feel like. Yeah, she wanted them all here and she was grateful to have all their friendships back again. She loved being Lucas's bestfriend again, bonding with Peyton, and becoming really close to Brooke. Somehow all that stuff didn't compare to things with Nathan. She knew that things were different but still…she'd wanted Nathan the most. He wasn't here.
Brooke was standing in front of her a second later before pulling her into a comforting hug. Brooke held her tight and it calmed her a little.
"You're going to do so great, I know it. Don't think about anything else up there. This moment is for you. You better have fun, Rock Star. This is your dream. Don't worry about anything, I got your back no matter what," Brooke mumbled sincerely.
"Thanks," Haley smiled. "I got your back, too."
"Good to know," Brooke chuckled. "There's this slut at the bar that keeps eyeing Julian and if she doesn't watch it she's going to get her ass kicked by the end of the night. She's with two other whores so I might need your help. P. Sawyer already agreed to help."
She laughed. Brooke always seemed to know how to make her feel better. It worked. They were both laughing now and she let all the nerves leave her body. Once they were done she took a deep breath before smiling.
"Who's going to kick ass tonight?"
"I am," Haley answered confidently.
"That's my girl," Brooke smiled proudly.
Peyton walked in a second later and as the door opened she could hear the cheer of the crowd as the band before her played. Brooke took hold of her hand and they were out the dressing room a second later. She stood on the side of the stage holding Brooke's hand tight as Peyton got up on stage and started talking to the crowd. Then she was being waved towards the stage.
Sitting at the piano nervously, she didn't bother looking up just yet. Suddenly everything was very quiet. With her heart pounding hard in her chest she glanced up and smiled. Then it felt like something took over. Her fingers instantly started moving and then she was singing the first song Peyton made her record "Honestly." The one that she had wrote all those years ago about her and Nathan.
Honestly I didn't mean to cry so hard the heartache was pouring in like rain
I didn't mean to show I care
Honestly I didn't mean to laugh so loud but it just sounds so absurd to say
that you want me
Say that you need me after everything you've done
Really truly I didn't mean to hurt you I just thought that maybe now
We'd have better luck the second time around
Its always better the second time I hear
Find me in the evening when your ready to dance
And I will take you to places where you never thought you'd have the chance to
love
Love
Love is all we have
I will run myself in circles here without you
Please believe that I tried my best to forget you but the memories keep
flooding back like tears
I didn't mean to fall in love
But sitting here waiting for this is torture
I'm so glad you're far away
Is that a terrible thing to say?
Well, I wonder if you're ok
~***~
He didn't know what he was doing here. After Lucas had left for Tric had sat there thinking about everything. That's when he realized that he couldn't accept that this was it for them. There was just no way. Not after everything they'd been through.
Fate had to have a bigger plan for them. It had to. He just didn't know what it was yet. But he knew that he wouldn't find the answer hiding. Instead he was here at Tric and he'd been there when she first walked on stage. He watched her. He noticed how nervous she was at first but once the song started she seemed to be in her element. She was so beautiful up there.
Her voice shook something deep inside of him. Listening to her sing was a whole new experience for him. Even though Peyton had said she was great, he never heard her sing before tonight. In the first few seconds he knew why this was her dream, why this is the life she wanted. She was amazing. She had the voice of angel up there.
During that whole first song he had shivers all over his body. His heart had been hammering so hard in his chest as he watched her and it had been filled with so much love.
He sat in the dressing room waiting for her to come back inside. He had stayed in the back of the club listening to her, instead of going next to his brother and Julian. Now it felt like he had been waiting a long time. She walked into the dressing room minutes later and he noticed her walking up to him through the mirror. He smiled as she looked at him surprised before he stood up.
"Nathan…what are you doing here?"
He walked in front of her a second later until they were inches apart. "I wanted to see you…I needed to see you," Nathan quickly corrected.
She was so nervous standing in front of him. She didn't know why. She had never felt this nervous before in her life. She knew it was because of the last time she seen him and what happened then. She smiled shakily before she couldn't take it anymore. She hugged him. She needed to feel him.
"I'm so glad you did. I miss you," Haley muttered.
His eyes snapped shut as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. The scent of her strawberry shampoo filled his lungs and he felt the same rush he always did when he was around her. He inhaled deeply. Sometimes being a better man sucked. "Listen, I'm sorry about the other night."
"So am I," Haley whispered. She could feel her body temperature start to rise. And even though this always happened when he was around, since the other night, now it seemed to be more. She could feel that smoldering feeling at the pit of her stomach again. Being in his arms felt amazing. She had a blast up on that stage minutes before but nothing compared to this.
"You were so great up there," Nathan stated as he held her tighter.
She swallowed the lump that seemed to be forming in her throat. "You saw me?"
"Of course, I did. I'm so proud of you. Your whole performance was amazing, Haley."
"Thanks," Haley whispered. Somehow that meant so much more coming from him than anyone else. She didn't know why but it did. She also couldn't help but notice that he called her Haley. She knew it was stupid, but she could feel the tiny fracture in her heart anyway at his words. He was still upset. She held him tighter.
She felt her heart pounding at the thought of him being here and seeing her. It still surprised her at how much he changed. The old Nathan wouldn't have come. He would have let his anger keep him away. Not this Nathan. He was here even though she knew that he didn't want to be. She could feel it in his tense body. He was here supporting her. She wanted to cry. She was feeling so many different emotions and she didn't know which one to hold onto.
The feel of her arms around him like this was becoming too much. They were so close, touching, their bodies pressed together and yet they were so far away. And she was holding him…God, she was holding him like he was the only thinking keeping her up.
He let the comfort of her arms overtake him. Then it was easy to forget the last few days and all the pain he had been in. It was like nothing ever happened and he was ok with that for the moment. He lost himself in her.
It was just the two of them, nothing else. The way it always should be. He couldn't bring himself to let her go even though he knew that staying was a mistake. It would only make this all the more harder. Why did she feel so perfect? Why did her arms make all the pain go away? Why wasn't he enough? He wanted to cry.
He could feel his anger building. His anger at himself, his anger at her, and his anger at the world. He knew soon enough that it would be too late and he wouldn't want to leave. Still he held onto her like his life depended on it. His eyes opened slowly and he brought his mouth to her ear searching for the right words. He needed her to understand.
"I love you so much it hurts."
There he'd said it. He had told her once again how he felt. He loved her so much that it literally hurt him sometimes. It wasn't fair that his love for her had so much power over him. It just wasn't fair at all. He hated fate. It was so fucking stupid. This was some kind of fucking joke. Some kind of cruel fucking joke. The kind of joke that hurts people.
Why bring her back for things to end like this? What was the fucking point? For him to suffer? For her to suffer? It hardly seemed fucking fair. Fate could kiss his ass. He was done believing in stupid shit like that. He was done with it all.
He felt her lips on his neck a second later. She kissed him softly, her lips trailing to the side until she made it to the base of his throat. She kissed there before making her way up and then she was kissing his jaw line. Everything in him told him to pull away but somehow he just couldn't find the strength. What was the fucking point in not taking her right here and now? She didn't want to get married. She didn't fucking want him…
Her lips landed on his roughly. He kissed her back hungrily with so much force that he didn't know if he was hurting her or not. Fuck it. He didn't care. All he knew was that it felt good and they both wanted it. His hands moved roughly over her face before moving them in her hair and pulling her closer to him. Fuck, they weren't close enough. He heard her moan as his tongue entered her mouth once again.
When they finally broke away in need of air she didn't stop. She was kissing his neck again and he was letting her. It felt too fucking good to stop.
"I want you," Haley panted. "Nathan, I need you so much. I don't know how else to say it."
He could see it so clearly in his head. He could feel himself ready to give in to what he wanted –what they both wanted. He'd take her right there on the vanity. He'd rip those jeans right off of her before doing the same to the black and purple top she was wearing. Then right there he'd finally take her. He'd fuck her hard. He would want to make her his, make sure that no other guy fucked her the way he had. He wouldn't want her to forget it. And she would beg him and scream his name. It would all feel so fucking good.
The door opened and she jumped away from him before wiping her mouth and looking at Peyton guilty.
"Sorry," Peyton rushed out as she held up her hands with a clipboard in it. "I didn't mean…I didn't know…sorry." She smiled sheepishly.
Haley's face instantly turned bright red. "It's ok. We were just –"
"I'll bet," Peyton smiled knowingly.
He didn't know why but he was happy that it was Peyton instead of Brooke. Brooke would be all over them for all kinds of information.
"Uh…"
"Sorry, Haley, but there's a few reporters looking for interviews with you. There's this one guy from THUD magazine that I want you to talk to. There's a line waiting, girlie."
"Oh, really," Haley asked confused. "Me?"
"Yep," Peyton nodded. "I'll give you a minute." She left the room a second later. Haley turned to Nathan nervously before finally looking up at him.
"I don't have to go. We could talk," Haley suggested. "It might take a little while."
"Nah, it's cool," Nathan muttered as he took a step back. He needed to get out of here anyway. He just couldn't stay any longer. He didn't have it in him. Lucas couldn't always expect him to be a better man. Sometimes things just hurt too much.
"Ok?"
"This is your night. Go, enjoy and I'll just see you…later," Nathan muttered before looking down.
"Are you sure? I think we should talk," Haley stated as her eyes stayed glued to his face. She could tell that he was hurting again and she hated it. They had so much to talk about.
He nodded. "Yeah, I gotta work early tomorrow anyway. The guys will be there for an early morning practice."
"Ok," Haley mumbled before quickly hugging him again. "I'm so glad you came, Nathan. It means a lot that you're here. Thanks." She let him go a second later.
That's the whole reason I'm here, he thought. Because she needed him to be. He was so happy for her and happy that her dream was coming true. But at the same time he couldn't help but feel bad for himself. He really needed to get out of here. He smiled at her before they both took off walking towards the door. He opened it and they were out a second later with Peyton waiting.
Once they were backstage a few girls were standing there waiting. Haley smiled at him before she went over and the girls asked her for her autograph. He smiled and he was glad that she was happy. He waved to Peyton once and then he was walking. Once he was a little ways down, he noticed a lot more people waiting. Then he noticed Owen standing there grinning at him.
"Hey, Owen," Nathan greeted fully ready to leave Tric altogether.
He grinned before pointing to Haley. "You have any idea how many guys in here want to nail your girl right now?"
He was lucky he walked away with a tray in his hands because Nathan was ready to hit him…anyone. He kept his anger in as he turned and noticed her talking to one of the reporters. He felt his heart breaking all over again. It was all happening for her now and as happy as he was for her, it just hurt all the more for him. He felt the lost of them like a sharp constant pain in his chest. She was suddenly living her dream and it wasn't with him. It never could be. They wanted two different futures. It would never work. Things just weren't the same anymore. People think that if you love someone hard enough then everything's going to be ok. Well, people are wrong, he thought.
AN: Please review. Song was "Honestly" by Joy.