AN: Thanks for the reviews. I really love hearing what you guys think about everything. The final last night was ok. I didn't think it was an awesome season final, it felt more like a series final and not a good one. But I didn't think it was a horrible episode. I loved that Leyton got their happy ending and their daughter is beautiful. I'm so happy that Brooke got everything she ever wanted with Victoria and then with Julian. I'm just so in love with him and I'm so super excited that he's going to me a main cast member next season. I just love him.
The whole Mia and Chase, Mouth and Millie scenes…who cares? I sure didn't. I hate that they take up so much screen time. It's just a waste in my opinion.
The Naley was the best part of the whole episode and we just didn't get enough scenes with them. When Nathan told Haley that he finally got called up, I think it was one of the best Naley scenes ever. The JL's played that scene just so well. It was just so emotional and perfect. I loved all the scenes with them. But again there weren't enough.
I hated the ending with no goodbyes, but I also understand that this was filmed a while ago and they didn't know if Hill and Chad would be back or not. I do think they'll be brought back before the end of the series. Well that's just my wishful thinking. I'm so excited for season seven. I can't wait. Joy, James, and Sophia are going to be the main cast members and I can't wait to see what they have planned for next season. I don't know about anyone else but Clayton sounds hot and I can't wait to meet Quinn!
Hope you guys like this chapter. Please read and review.
Quote of the Day:
Angie: (squatting in the bathroom sink) There's something wrong with your toilet.
Chapter Twenty –Opportunity Knocks
"Two chocolate, two vanilla, and one strawberry, please."
She held Anna securely in her arms as they stood in front of the ice cream truck. She glanced back at the park and noticed the boys running around the playground. She waved them over and instantly they started running. They reached her seconds later all grinning.
"You're the best," Hayden beamed as he walked closer and stood right beside her.
She brushed her fingers through his hair. "Just remember what I told you guys."
"We won't tell, promise," Brennan nodded.
"What's the big deal? It's just ice cream," Jordan shrugged before smiling at her.
"The big deal is that your Mom doesn't want you to have any before dinner," Haley pointed out. Even though she knew that Jordan was fully aware of this she still felt the need to tell him again. Brooke and Peyton both pointed out countless times that they didn't want their kids having ice cream before they had supper. And even then Brooke told her to not fall for their tricks because she knew they'd ask.
She had told them no the first time. Even on the second time she told them that she couldn't but then they all started giving her the puppy dog eyes. All three of them. And then to top it off, they had Anna screaming for ice cream. If that didn't make matters worse, all the Moms' at the park were looking at her like she was crazy. Then Anna had smiled at her before telling her that she loved her. She just couldn't say no after that. So here she was buying them ice cream. They suckered her and they knew it.
She handed over the money as the teenage guy took it before he started handing over the ice cream cones. She handed the first one to Hayden.
"Don't spill, buddy," Haley instructed.
He nodded. "You got it, Aunt Haley."
She then handed the strawberry to Brennan. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," Haley laughed. Brennan had the sweetest little smile in the world. He was just so shy sometimes. It was cute. "Which flavor you want?" She eyed Jordan and he glanced at the chocolate and vanilla, thinking.
"What kind did you get it?" Jordan asked grinning.
She laughed before shaking her head. "Chocolate."
"I want that one, too," Jordan grinned brightly at her before holding out his hand for it. She laughed before handing it to him. Then just like the other boys he took off running. She turned her attention to Anna who was trying her best to look inside of the ice cream truck.
"You ready for yours, shorty?" Haley smiled.
Anna nodded. "I want one."
She handed the vanilla one to Anna. "Here you go. Now remember you promised not to tell on me. We have a deal. You can't tell your Mommy, ok?"
Anna smiled before ignoring her completely. She went right to licking her ice cream cone and Haley took hers from the guy before they started walking back towards the playground. The boys were running around with their ice cream cones in their hands. She took a seat on the park bench before placing Anna right next to her. Anna instantly pointed to her ice cream.
"That's yours?"
"Uh-huh," Haley smiled.
"Mine," Anna grinned before holding up hers. The ice cream was slowly melting off of the cone and onto her little hands. Haley went to get a napkin out of her purse but decided to wait until she was finished eating. She knew she'd just get dirty again.
She smiled before going back to eating hers. It was Saturday and she had the kids for the afternoon. Julian was taking Brooke out to lunch at a fancy restaurant and Lucas was taking Peyton out for a picnic. She had jumped at the chance to spend time with the kids.
Once the boys were done, they continued running around on the jungle gym. Once Anna finished, Haley cleaned her hands and mouth. Then she took her back to the swings. She pushed Anna on the swing as the little girl giggled every time she came back down. She loved making Anna laugh.
Time seemed to move along, but it didn't seem like the boys noticed. They continued to run around like it was nothing. Nathan was right. They were like three energizer bunnies. They didn't stop for anything. They just kept running.
She was still pushing Anna when she noticed Nathan walking up to the boys. She couldn't stop smiling as she watched him. He reached the boys' seconds later before he started chasing them around. She stopped pushing Anna before lifting her in her arms. Then she took off walking towards them. Walking up to the jungle gym, she waited for Nathan to notice her.
When he did, he walked up to her before kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Sorry, I'm late."
"It's ok," Haley muttered as Anna grabbed for Nathan. "I'm happy you came."
Nathan took Anna in his arms before placing her on his shoulders. Instantly Anna reached for his hair and held it tight in her hands to keep her up. Nathan's arms stayed holding her sides.
"My Nathan!"
"Let's hit the playground, Anna Banana," Nathan smiled. He winked before he took off walking towards the small slide.
She stood there watching them go, her heart breaking with each step of a way. Things had been different since that night at her house. Nathan had been different. He seemed so distant and indifferent. She hadn't seen him much and when she did there always seemed to be someone around. He often came around when someone was with her and before he left he made it a point to say that he was tired and he'd see her the next day.
Last weekend all the guys went camping and she spent the whole time locked up in the studio writing and recording.
When she told him that she wanted to talk he'd make some excuse up and leave right away. He hadn't even tried to kiss her at all. He'd just kiss her on the cheek once right when he arrived and then once before leaving.
All she wanted to do was talk to him alone.
Before she knew it he was walking back towards her with Anna in his arms. "She wants you to join her on the slide? She wants to ride the big one," Nathan explained.
"Sure," Haley nodded. She took Anna in her arms before they walked towards the big slide. Then holding Anna tight, she made her way up the stairs until she made it to the top. Sitting at the edge, she sat Anna on her lap. Nathan was waiting at the bottom of the slide, waving at them. She pushed herself down and Anna started laughing.
They reached the bottom and she stood up smiling.
"Have fun?" Nathan smirked.
"Uh-huh," Haley laughed as Anna started clapping her hands and saying "again" over and over. That's how they spent the next thirty minutes.
"Ok, little monsters," Nathan laughed as he walked to the boys with Haley right next to him. "It's time to get you home."
"No!"
"Just a little while longer?"
"Please?"
"It's getting late," Haley pointed out.
Nathan nodded. "And your parents want you home in time for dinner. Don't kill the messengers."
"Fine let's go," Jordan mumbled in defeat. He took off walking towards them and once he reached Haley he held her hand as he pulled her towards the parking lot. She laughed before looking back and noticing Nathan shaking his head as he watched them.
"To the truck. Chop-chop," Nathan shouted. They dropped the twins off first and they both hugged her. It didn't surprise her when Jordan hugged her a few seconds longer than Brennan did. She even laughed when Jordan punched Nathan in the arm before running towards the house. She waited in the truck as Nathan brought them inside and returned minutes later.
Anna was asleep by the time they drove up to Lucas and Peyton's. Nathan carried her inside and Haley held hands with Hayden. Nathan went upstairs and they went into the living room where Lucas and Peyton were watching TV.
"Hey," Lucas greeted with a smile. "You have fun, knuckle head?"
Hayden nodded. "We raced and I beat Jordan, Daddy. He was so mad."
"Is that right?" Lucas chuckled. "I want to see that next time."
"Where's my baby? Haley James, don't tell me you left her at the park?" Peyton stated as she glanced around.
Haley rolled her eyes. "Like I would forget one of your children, Peyton. Jeez, have a little faith, huh."
"Uncle Nate brought her upstairs," Hayden informed them before he jumped on his fathers lap.
"I figured," Lucas chuckled. "Did you have fun, buddy?" He glanced up at Haley and waited for her to answer.
"Sure did," Haley nodded. "We had all kinds of fun."
"Glad to here it and thanks for taking them today," Peyton smiled.
"Yeah, thanks," Lucas nodded with a smirk.
She shook her head before glancing away. She so didn't want to know about Lucas's sex life. It was a few minutes later when Nathan came back downstairs and stood a few feet away from her. She glanced at him but he seemed to only be looking at his brother.
"Hey, bro. She's out like a light."
"You guys staying for dinner?" Peyton asked looking at the both of them.
Lucas smiled brightly. "Yeah, stay."
"I can't," Nathan apologized. "I've…I've got plans." He mumbled something else before looking away. She glanced down wondering what kind of plans he had before looking up again. Peyton was still smiling at her and Lucas was looking confused at his brother.
"You, Hales?"
"I have tons of things I should be doing. Maybe next time," Haley muttered.
"I'll bring you home then," Nathan stated as he glanced at her quickly.
She nodded. They said their goodbyes to everyone before they walked awkwardly out to the car. It didn't surprise her now that the kids were gone that the ride was filled with silence. She sat there looking out the passenger window as they passed through the neighborhood before he pulled up into her driveway. It took her a few seconds to finally turn towards him, forcing herself to smile.
"You want to come in?"
He glanced down. "I can't. I'm –I'm meeting a few friends tonight for some drinks. I would invite you but it's like all guys."
"No it's cool," Haley muttered. "Maybe after…"
They both knew what she was asking and instantly he shook his head. "It'll probably be a late night. I'll just see you tomorrow."
She closed her eyes before nodding. "Ok. Goodnight, I guess."
"Night, Haley." Just like she knew he would, he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek before he pulled away.
She could feel a lump forming in her throat and she quickly got out of the truck and started for the door, breathing heavily. Things were not supposed to be like this between them. She rushed inside the house and only then did the tears start to fall from her eyes.
~***~
She pulled her cardigan tighter around her as she walked. Where she was walking to, she had no idea. She just felt like walking. It was a beautiful windy night.
It was no secret why Nathan was acting weird. Everyone else all pretended that nothing was wrong with him and that he was acting normal but she knew that he wasn't. This wasn't like him. Him being all distant and lying to her, that wasn't him. Even when he was around his family now he was different. She knew it all came back to that stupid night.
She wanted so badly to be angry at Brooke for making her plan that stupid night. None of this would be happening if she hadn't of gotten naked and tried to seduce him. She had been so stupid to think that he would want her like that. The only person she was angry at was herself. If she hadn't of said anything then things would be good between them. Better than good. They would probably be perfect.
He would still talk to her and want to kiss her, hold her. Now it seemed like he didn't want any of those things and she couldn't help but miss them. Hell, she missed him. His touch, his lips, and the way he looked at her. She missed it all.
These last two weeks felt like they were somehow transitioning from lovers to friends.
She didn't know. He just left and now he didn't seem to want to talk to her. She just wanted to explain to him why she felt the way she did about marriage now. There were so many things that turned her off of the idea of marriage. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't because Chris left her at their wedding. That had hurt and left a tear in her heart. She couldn't help but be scarred from that experience.
When Chris had asked her to marry him she had been hesitant at first. They hadn't been together really that long but she agreed to marry him anyway. It was different looking back on it now. She was hiding with Chris. She was in denial about a lot of things back then, like missing everyone here. So yeah, the experience with her own wedding had a little to do with her decision not to get married now. But most of it had to do with Quinn.
Quinn her big sister who had taken her in when she needed it the most –the sister that was there for her day after day as she tried to mend her broken heart –the sister that held her while she cried for all those months. Quinn had been her rock back then. Her bestfriend.
It all came down to Quinn and her husband Kyle.
Quinn had been in college when she met Kyle, the love of her life. They had fallen in love so quickly and Quinn had been so happy back then. He had asked her to marry him and she quickly said yes. She had been at the wedding to witness the happiest moment of her sister's life. And it was. Quinn was so happy with Kyle. Things were always light and fun with them. Every time she was around them she couldn't help but smile and be happy.
It's why she wanted to move in with Quinn.
She felt like she needed happy and fun in her life at that time. And at first it was like that. During the day Quinn and Kyle would be themselves and she would smile and laugh around them. Kyle had been so happy to have her there and that only made Quinn love him more. Things were great…at first.
The summer before her senior year things had really changed. She would be up in her room and suddenly hear yelling and shouting from downstairs. Then always not long after she'd hear the front door shut and then a car leave. Then quietly she would make herself go downstairs and check on her sister. The first few times Quinn seemed fine and said she just wanted to be alone which Haley respected. But the fights didn't stop and soon she started to find Quinn crying. Those were the nights when Kyle never came home and she would hold her sister while she cried, just like Quinn had did for her.
It had become their thing. They took care of each other. No matter what the fights were about, she never knew because she never asked, they always made up. But in the middle of her senior year she had gotten home one day and Kyle was gone and so were all of this things. She had found her sister on the floor crying her eyes out.
It was a week later when Quinn told her the story. She remembered it perfectly because it was the moment that she hated Kyle more that she had ever hated anyone. Kyle had fallen in love with a younger blonde that he worked with. Some stupid younger girl named Chelsea. Then he left her sister for her.
Quinn had been devastated. It was almost to the point as to where she didn't want to leave for Stanford in the fall. But Quinn had pulled herself together and gotten over it. She had admired her sister for it. Quinn told her that she wasn't letting some guy ever keep her down and just like that Kyle was never brought up again.
What started out as a great love ended like it was nothing. Haley didn't understand it at first but soon she did. Nothing lasts forever. Why believe in something that's not real? Her sister believed in it and look where it got her? Quinn hadn't dated a guy since then. Well, not that she knew of. But still it was hard seeing her sister in so much pain over losing the guy that she was supposed to spend forever with.
Maybe it took Chris running out on their wedding for her to finally get it. Nothing lasts forever. Well, she got it now.
She turned the corner and made her way towards Market Street.
With each step it felt like she was being pulled in a certain direction. She didn't know. She just walked until finally she noticed the docks. She smiled to herself. She made her way towards the table that they used to study at. Once she got closer she noticed someone sitting on top of it looking out at the water. She got closer and took a better look. Her stomach dropped.
"You guys usually party hard like this?"
He glanced at her surprised for a second before looking down. "I'm sorry."
"You know if you didn't want to spend time with me then you could have just said it. You didn't have to lie about it, Nathan. I get it," Haley muttered. Even though a part of her knew he had been lying, it still hurt to know for sure.
"It's not like that."
"Well, you lied to my face instead of just telling me the truth. I guess it is like that."
"That's not fair," Nathan barked as he stood up. She could see his anger come to the surface. His whole body was tense as he stood before her.
"You've been weird these last two weeks and I feel like…" she shook her head glancing away. She could feel the ache in her heart return. "If –if you don't want me anymore then just tell me. You don't have to pretend with me. I want to know the truth."
"Trust me, you don't," Nathan stated before glancing away.
"Don't do that," Haley snapped.
He glared at her. "Do what?"
"Turn away when I'm trying to talk to you. You do it all the time! I've been trying to get you alone so that we can talk about that night and you just keep walking away from me."
"Beats running away," Nathan retorted.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know what it means, Haley," Nathan growled. "I say one little thing to you and you take off running without even looking back. For nine years! You walked away from us. You gave up on us and all because of what? You were scared? You're a coward."
"Oh you mean because you used me?" Haley shot back. "Right, I was just supposed to take that right? I was just supposed to stand there and let you tell me how you used me to get even with your brother over some stupid basketball game!"
"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't like that?"
"I don't want to talk about this."
"I don't care," Nathan continued. "I might have only started this to hurt Lucas but why did you agree to tutor me? Oh that's right, you were just trying to protect your precious Lucas! That's all you cared about. Him. So we both started this wrong! Stop putting it all on me!"
"I'm not. Where is this coming from?" Haley asked confused.
"You know when we started this I didn't know you. I didn't want to know you. You were just some girl that he really cared about. That's all that mattered to me. Once I saw how close the two of you were I knew what would hurt him. I knew that if I hurt you then he would stop taking what's mine and give me my world back. I –"
"Stop it!"
"I had it all planned out. It was perfect. I didn't care about what it did to you. It wasn't my problem. You were a means to an end and when you wouldn't tutor me because of him it only made me want to hurt you more," Nathan muttered, their eyes locked. "And then finally you agreed to help me…for him. And then I got to know you. You were different and you treated me different…I liked it…I liked you. It always killed me that you cared more about him then you do me, you know that?"
"It's different," Haley objected. "You both mean different things to me."
"Doesn't mean that you don't care about him more…I know you do, or that he won't always be in your life. We both know that he will," Nathan said truthfully. "I hated that so much back then. I hated your relationship with him. It wasn't fair that he got to have you…he had everything else but not you to. It just wasn't fair."
"Why are you telling me this?"
He ignored her. "And when I started to love you…it was so hard. I didn't want to. I knew that no matter what if it came down to it you'd always choose him over me."
"You don't know that," Haley muttered.
"You would have picked him," Nathan nodded.
"Nathan, I know what this is really about and I think we should talk about it."
He laughed before glancing away. "Oh yeah, what's that?"
"This is about the marriage thing…because of that night," Haley pointed out.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I get it, ok," Haley said softly. "Everyone around you is married and has a family. I can see how you would want that for yourself. I understand that –"
"You don't know anything," Nathan said curtly.
"That's exactly what this is about," Haley protested. "You see everyone else around with a wife and kids –"
"This isn't about getting a wife," Nathan snapped. "I could have a wife if I wanted one!"
"Then what is this about?"
"You!"
"This is because I don't want to get married?" Haley asked. She knew that this is what these whole two weeks had been about.
"What else would it be about?"
"You weren't even thinking about marriage until I brought it up. Can't we just let this go? We've been having such a good time together and –"
"I'm thinking about it now," Nathan mumbled.
"What?"
"Marriage," Nathan answered. "It's all I've been able to think about since you said that you were never getting married."
"You can't be serious. We've only been back together for a few weeks."
"I love you," Nathan replied.
"I know you do," Haley mumbled. "But I –"
"You don't believe in us? I know you don't," Nathan retorted.
"I didn't say that! Don't put words in my mouth," Haley snapped.
"It's the truth," Nathan nodded. "You don't."
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
"You don't want to get married and I do. I know that I want you forever and I believe in us and you…don't. I don't understand why you agreed to marry Chris but the idea of marrying me is out of the question? Is it because you care about him more than me?"
"Absolutely not!"
"You sure about that? Because I just mention trying to do the right thing by you and all of a sudden you don't believe in something that you used to. I just don't get it." He shook his head before glancing away.
"I do not care about him more than I do you," Haley repeated as she walked closer to him. Without even thinking about it she wrapped her arms around his waist and walked into him, her head resting on his chest. She could feel the pounding of his heart and she closed her eyes and listened. It was a nice peaceful sound. It wasn't long before she felt his hands on her back rubbing softly.
"Marry me?"
"Nathan," Haley muttered as she pulled away to glance up at him. "I –I..."
What if it didn't work out? What if he hurt her again? What if she hurt him again?
He nodded. "I figured you'd say that."
"That doesn't mean that I don't want you. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you. I want that…I want us."
"I can't do this anymore," Nathan muttered.
"What?"
He glanced away. "This will never work."
"Are you breaking up with me?" Haley asked with pleading eyes. She wanted him to tell her that it wasn't truth. She wanted him to tell her that nothing was going to change. Things were going fine between them.
"I don't see any other way," Nathan shrugged as he reached behind him and pulled her hands off of him. He kept them in hers and squeezed them tight. "You don't believe in us. Not the way that I do. I know that it'll work because you're all I've ever wanted. I'd be different for us. I know it. I know most marriages don't work out but ours would. I know it would. I know we'd be happy. I would make you happy. I wish you believed in me and in us to believe that it would work out. We'd be so great together, so happy." He smiled softly.
"Nathan, I –"
"This sucks," Nathan mumbled as he cut her off. "I thought you were brought back for a reason. I thought that I was finally getting what I wanted and now to finally know that that's not the case, it hurts like hell. But I am happy that you came back, Haley. So happy. I would have waited here forever for you. I would've never given up. But a guy knows when to throw in the towel. It's that time for me. I want something from you that you just don't believe in anymore…and it's a shame. The old Haley James would've been so happy to get married and have a family. I guess I changed a lot of things in your life, huh? I'm sorry that I messed you up so much."
"You didn't…" she shook her head as a few tears fell.
"Its better this way, you know."
"For who?"
He went to open his mouth and answer but nothing came out. He stood there holding her hands as she cried in front of him, both their hearts breaking.
"I wish things could be different," Nathan smiled softly.
"I don't think that I can handle losing you again." Before she could say more her cell phone started ringing in her pocket. She reluctantly pulled her hands out of his and wiped her tears before pulling her cell phone out of her pocket.
Nathan took a step back and glanced away.
"Hello. Oh hey, Peyton…right now? Is everything ok? You sure? Ok, relax. I'll come right over. See you in a few." She hung up her cell phone and wiped her face again.
"Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, she said she had something important to tell me. I guess I should go and see."
"I'll drive you," Nathan offered.
"You don't have to do that," Haley muttered as she felt another batch of tears coming. She didn't want to cry in front of him again. She had to hold them in until she got home.
"I'll drive you," Nathan repeated. She nodded before following him to where he parked his truck. The ride was filled with an awkward silence and when they pulled up she couldn't help but notice two extra cars in the driveway already. She knew the first one belonged to Brooke. She didn't recognize the other one.
She got out of the truck and was surprised when Nathan did the same. She could feel him following her as they made it up towards the house. She started to knock but he opened the door and held it open for her. She walked in and instantly heard noise coming from the living room.
"Finally," Mia shouted as she rushed to hug Haley. Everyone was here. Haley noticed Brooke and Peyton smiling at her. Julian and Lucas were fixing glasses of champagne. What the hell was going on?
"One of you is pregnant again?" Nathan guessed with a smile.
"Here, little brother. Take one," Lucas chuckled as he handed him a glass of champagne.
"Really funny, Boy Toy," Brooke muttered while rolling her eyes.
"What's going on?" Haley asked glancing around. Mia hooked their arms together before pulling her towards the girls. Then a glass of champagne was shoved in her hands. She didn't want to be here. After the emotional drain from her confrontation with Nathan, she just wanted to get into bed and cry.
"Well," Peyton smiled brightly. "I just got a very interesting call."
"Spit it out, Sawyer," Brooke stated impatiently. "You're going to love this, Tutor Girl."
"Ok, so you know how Mia is going on tour with Gavin DeGraw in a few days?"
"Yeah, sure. She won't shut up about it," Haley teased as Mia hit sides with her.
Peyton was still smiling brightly at her. She didn't know what was going on. She did her best to keep her eyes off of Nathan. She knew looking at him would only make her cry more and she didn't want to start crying now. She wanted to be alone before she broke down.
"Like I was saying before, Mia is going on tour with Gavin DeGraw and the band with the opening act had to drop out."
"That sucks," Haley muttered.
"Not really," Mia smiled.
"Mia played them one of your songs and they want you, Foxy," Peyton revealed.
"Shut up."
"It's true," Brooke nodded.
"You'll be the opening act and its great exposure and I think that this is a really really good thing for you right now," Peyton continued. "Plus, Mia will be there with you every step of the way."
"Wow," Haley muttered taking a step back. "I don't know what to say."
"Are you kidding me? This is the best thing ever," Mia beamed. "I'm so excited about it! It's going to be so much fun!"
"This is a really good opportunity," Peyton nodded.
"I uh…I'm um…I don't know…" she finally glanced over at Nathan. His blue eyes were boring into hers and she felt something shake deep inside of her. Was now really a great time to just pick up and leave? What about her friends here? What about her class full of students? What about the kids? What about Nathan? He broke up with you! What about finally being happy? And Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. Nathan.
"You should do it," Nathan smiled.
"Yeah, it'll be great for you," Lucas nodded.
"But what about…" she couldn't find her voice, it was barely a whisper. She couldn't look away from Nathan. What about us, she wanted to ask. It's finally over another voice whispered. She could feel the tears wanting to fall.
"I think it's great and I think you'll do great," Julian grinned. "Jordan won't be too happy about this." That got everyone laughing. Everyone but her. This was all happening so fast.
"He'll live. Trust me," Brooke said happily.
"I want you to do it," Nathan nodded. "I want you to go." They both knew what he meant.
She glanced away from him and smiled at Peyton. "I guess I'm going."
"This is going to be so awesome!"
The next thing she knew she was being past around as everyone hugged and congratulated her. She was barely aware of what was going on around her. It felt like she was being pulled in a million different directions. She didn't like it. She didn't know how long it was but she knew that Lucas held her for a long time and told her how great she would do.
Then she was standing in the corner talking to Brooke as she glanced around the room. The guys were all watching TV and Peyton was on the phone telling the tour people that she was going to go. Nathan…Nathan was a million miles away and he didn't want her here anymore. She could feel the tears rolling slowly down her cheeks.
"Tutor girl, those better be happy tears!"
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I think –I think we just broke up." Her eyes were glued to Nathan's back and she waited as Brooke glanced that way before looking back at her apologetically. Then Brooke was hugging her and she couldn't help but cry more.
"It's going to be ok," Brooke soothed.
It sure doesn't feel like it. Just like she had been pushed back here it felt like she was being pushed right back out. What was she supposed to do now? She felt more lost and alone than ever before in her life.