Quote of the Day:
Joey: (to Laura a girl that he pretends he cared about) You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?!
Chapter Twenty-One –One Step At A Time
She moved around her room quickly. Taking the clothes out of her drawers, she tossed them on the bed. Once it was empty she walked over and started shoving the clothes into her suitcase. She yelled in frustration when the clothes wouldn't fit.
"Problem?" Brooke called out from the closet. She stuck her head out and smiled.
"What the hell do you pack for a tour?"
"Sexy hot clothes," Brooke suggested. "Don't worry I'm working on it."
She rolled her eyes as she continued pushing the clothes into the stupid suitcase. How was it possible that it was already time to leave? It felt like this was just all happening too fast. It didn't matter what came with her. She didn't care. Nothing mattered now. It felt like she was being pushed out of town. Like she was being exiled or something. This was the worse day ever.
She pushed the clothes down far enough and was able to zip it. She finally smiled and then it instantly faded when Brooke walked out of the closet with another suitcase.
"I put a little extra stuff in here," Brooke smiled. "Clothes over Bro's."
She sighed in defeat. "Thanks, Brooke."
"We should head over to Peyton's. I'm sure that Mia is waiting for you and the boys will want to say goodbye again."
She nodded as she reached for the suitcase and followed Brooke down the stairs. She made sure that everything was locked up before she got into the car with Brooke. She kept her eyes glued to the house as they drove away. Once again she watched as her childhood home faded in the distance.
Yesterday they had a huge going away party for her over at Lucas and Peyton's. Everyone had been there and it was really nice. She spent her time talking with Keith and Karen and then visiting with Deb and Dan, that one had been weird. She played with the kids a lot and made Sam promise to do good in school. She laughed with Brooke and Julian, spent time telling Peyton how grateful she was, and clung to Lucas as much as she could. And most of all, she spent her time watching Nathan as he seemed perfectly happy with everything. He didn't really talk to her. He only told her that he was happy that her dreams were coming true and when she was about to ask if they could please talk someone interrupted them.
Now it was time to leave Tree Hill again.
Mia would be waiting for her. Before she knew it they were pulling up to Peyton's. She got out of the car and went to the trunk to pull out her bags. Once they were on the ground Lucas and Julian lifted them up and walked them over to Mia's car.
"You're late. We've got to hit the road if we want to meet with them in Charlotte."
"I'm ready," Haley nodded. She hugged everyone once again and told them how much she would miss them. Somehow the kids were the hardest to say goodbye to. She held each of them for minutes and she couldn't help but cry as she said goodbye. Jordan was the last one and she held him tight. He was taking her leaving the hardest.
"You promise you'll come back?" Jordan asked as he hugged her tight.
She nodded. "I promise."
"Ok, I guess you can go. Momma says that I have to," Jordan informed her before pulling away. She smiled through her tears before leaning in and kissing him softly on the cheek.
"I'm going to miss you very much."
His hand instantly came up to where her lips touched. "Whoa."
Everyone started laughing and she smiled as she stood up and hugged Lucas once again. She took in the comfort of his arms one last time. She let it take over. The amazing feeling of his comfort washed over her. It was nice. It was like a tranquilizer calming her fears.
"You're going to do so great."
"Thanks," Haley smiled. "And I promise that I will call this time."
"You better."
He let go of her and she smiled at him before looking at everyone else.
"You knock 'em dead, Miss James," Sam shouted.
Then before she knew it she held out her hand for Nathan. "Can I talk to you?"
He glanced at her for a second before he slowly took her hand in his. She pulled him to the side and she couldn't help but notice how everyone else turned and started talking amongst themselves. She didn't stop until they were far enough away so that no one could hear them. Then she turned to him carefully and hugged him again.
"I really don't want to leave," Haley whispered.
"You have to do this."
"But I don't want to."
"I'm sure you're going to have the time of your life," Nathan smiled softly as they pulled out of their hug. "You'll only have regrets if you don't do this."
"Can I call you?" Haley asked hopefully.
He glanced at her hesitantly for a few seconds. "I don't know if that's the best idea but…if you want to then you can."
"Then I'll call," Haley promised. "This is really hard. I don't want to leave like this…with things the way they are between us…I just…"
"We're fine," Nathan smiled. "I only want you to be happy, Haley."
"I want that for you too. You should have everything you want, Nathan. You deserve it."
Then before she could stop herself, she leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. It was a soft sweet kiss that lasted for a few seconds before she finally pulled away.
"I love you," Haley finally admitted. She always had. He smiled before hugging her again. Her eyes snapped shut and she let the feel of him take over. Even though this was such a sad moment she couldn't help but feel happy. That's what he always did for her. He made everything inside of her happy. Their bodies swayed back and forth together. How was she supposed to live without him again?
"You know, I could love you forever," Nathan declared matter of factly, "it still wouldn't be long enough." He let go of her a second later. He reached in his pocket and pulled something out. He held it in front of her and her heart started melting. The colorful bracelet from their first tutoring session. She had left it in her room when she left for Dallas.
"I can't believe that you still have it."
"It's yours," Nathan smiled as he placed it on her wrist. "It always will be. I don't know, wear it for good luck. Don't say I never gave you anything."
She laughed and cried. She didn't know it was possible to do both at the same time, but here she was laughing and crying as he hugged her one last time. She pulled out of his arms and took off for the car where Mia was waiting. She waved one last time and then they drove off with everyone waving at them. She felt a sharp pain in her chest and slowly she let the tears fall. Leaving just wasn't supposed to be this hard.
Then just like before she was gone out of their lives again.
~***~
He dribbled the ball across the Rivercourt. Lucas was on him as soon as he passed the half court line. He smiled before faking left and then going right. With Lucas out of the way he jumped up and did a quick fade-away. Swish.
"And Scott with the basket," Julian chuckled. "Seriously, guys, when can I play?"
"You suck," Lucas pointed out.
Nathan nodded. "And we would crush you."
"I hate keeping score," Julian complained. "This happens every time. You guys keep telling me that you'll let me in the game and then once I'm here you always make me watch. I'll tell you, one of these times I'm just not going to come and you'll just have to keep score yourself."
"That'll teach us!"
"Don't get your panties in a twist," Nathan chuckled.
"Yeah, you can come on my team," Lucas offered.
"We don't want you running off and crying to Brooke." Julian flicked him off before standing up and running onto the court. Nathan took a few steps back as Lucas and Julian warmed up. Lucas started showing Julian how to shoot and Nathan figured this might take a while. He took off walking towards the other side of the court before lifting his basketball in his hands. He started practicing on his free-throws.
When he was younger Dan used to push him so hard to practice. While all the other kids were out playing and having fun, he was planted on the free-throw line. Dan wouldn't let him do anything until he made thirty shots in a row. It was so hard at first. Standing in the same spot over and over while your arms ached and felt like jelly. Some days he just wished that they would fall off they hurt so much. But over time it got easier and easier. The shots would just sail into the goal like it was nothing. It'd make the most amazing noise as it went through the net.
All that practice had paid off. It made him good. When he was younger he didn't understand why his father pushed him so hard, but now he did. Dan only wanted him to be the best. It helped in high school to be so confident with the ball in his hands. It helped because all of the guys looked up to him. It was his team and they did what he wanted because they knew at the end of the day he would be winning them games. It had been his team, until Lucas.
The guys had been behind him when he told them that they had to get rid of his unwanted step-brother. They had hazed Lucas so hard. Nothing seemed to work.
That was until Haley.
His plan to destroy his brother all depended on her. Something funny happened though. He fell in love. It did change him. Once he and Lucas became brothers, it was only then that he realized that it wasn't his team. It was their team. All the guys. They played together, they lost together, and they won together. He became a team player. It wasn't all about him. Loving Haley and being brothers with Lucas had showed him that.
It's why he got his full ride to Duke. Its why even as a freshman in college scouts from the NBA came to watch him play. It's why he was a better player now than he ever had been before.
He tossed up his 30th shot and it sailed right into the net and he smiled.
"You ladies about done?"
"In a sec," Lucas shouted as he waited under the goal for Julian to shoot the ball. He watched as the ball left Julian's hands before hitting the backboard hard and then falling in. Julian held up his fists in triumph.
"Don't celebrate yet. You still have to beat me," Nathan smirked. "And don't forget I was an All-American!"
Julian shook his head. "You know just when I think your ego can't get any bigger."
"Oh, we'll beat you," Lucas declared smugly.
"Let's see what you got dumb and dumber," Nathan chuckled as he tossed his ball aside. They walked towards the middle of the court and Lucas handed the ball to Nathan before telling Julian to wait on the other side of him.
"I'm going to hit it to you."
"Ok."
Nathan tossed the ball up high and then jumped instantly trying to catch it before Lucas did. It didn't work. Lucas tapped the ball towards Julian before smiling at him. He shook his head before running towards Julian.
"Let's see what you got, Baker."
Julian shot the ball. It went straight under the goal before rolling into the grass. Nathan chased after it laughing as Lucas cursed out Julian. He checked the ball in and started down the court. It wasn't long before Lucas was all over him. He dribbled the ball skillfully in his hands before bouncing the ball under Lucas's body and then running past him. He noticed Julian standing there looking scared as he ran right towards him. When he was close enough he jumped up high before he dunked the ball hard, his body crashing into Julian's sending him flying to the ground. He let got of the rim a second later.
"Nice shot," Julian muttered as he sat up.
"Are you ok?" Nathan asked quickly.
"You should have moved out the way," Lucas pointed out. "You know he doesn't stop."
"I'll remember that for next time," Julian noted as he rubbed his head.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Nathan asked as he held up three fingers in front of Julian's face. Julian glanced at him like he was crazy.
"If he's hurt then you're taking him home. No way am I dealing with Brooke Davis. The last time we hurt him she nearly killed me," Lucas muttered while shaking his head.
Julian pushed Nathan's hand out of his face. "I'm fine."
"Now what did we learn today?" Lucas teased.
"To get out of the way when Superstar here comes your way," Julian stated as Nathan helped him up. He was still rubbing his head as he glanced around the court before walking towards the bleachers. He took a seat and laid himself back, still holding his head. "I think I'll rest for a few minutes."
"Brooke is going to kill you," Lucas warned.
He rolled his eyes. "He'll be fine."
"I can't wait to see how pissed she'll be," Lucas mused.
"I'll tell her you did it," Nathan smirked.
"You wouldn't."
"Oh, I would," Nathan nodded. "Then she'll want to bash your head in with a frying pan or something. That'll be hilarious."
"Ha-ha," Lucas deadpanned.
Nathan chuckled as they started shooting again. They had been out here for a few hours now just goofing around. Ever since Haley had left his friends had been a little more attentive with him, all the time. He couldn't remember the last time he just stayed at home and had some alone time. It was always something.
She had been gone over four weeks now. Four weeks.
He thought that things would return back to normal but they didn't. Everyone was always concerned about him. His mother brought him dinner every night. One the weekends it seemed like all they did was go camping with the boys. During the week he had been so busy with the team. Basketball had started and so far their season had been perfect. He spent time with Anna and Sam at the park. He even let Brooke take him shopping for some new clothes, which he was never ever doing again. She was just crazy in the mall. He went to an art show with Lucas and Peyton. He went to some stupid wine tasting thing with Julian and Brooke last week. He spent a lot of time here at the Rivercourt with Lucas just shooting around like now.
They had definitely kept him busy.
He knew what everyone was doing. They were keeping him really busy. If he was busy then that meant that he didn't have time to think about her. He had to give it to them. It worked. During the day he hardly thought about her at all. That was getting easier. It was at night when he thought about her, missed her, and dreamed about her.
But it was getting easier to live without her.
Things were just back to the way they were before. Back to the way they were before she came back. Only now he felt like a kid being taking care of twenty four seven. It was nice that they all cared and he loved them for it. At least he had them to worry about him.
Whatever. This was his life. He was finally accepting that.
Swish.
The ball bounced on the ground until Lucas lifted it up and tossed it back to him.
"Have you talked to her?"
"Who?"
Lucas rolled his eyes. "Who do you think?"
"I know," Nathan chuckled. "She called a few times but I haven't been home a lot lately. My ass of a brother and the rest of my family have been keeping me on a short leash and I missed her calls."
"Sorry."
"She left messages," Nathan shrugged.
"Oh yeah," Lucas smiled. "What did she say?"
"I don't know. I deleted them," Nathan muttered as he glanced away.
"Oh," Lucas sighed as he glanced down.
He knew that his brother had been waiting to talk to him about this. They all had. It was like all things Haley were off topic since she left. Brooke never mentioned the phone conversations that he knew they were having. Neither did Lucas nor Peyton talk about her at all. He did overhear Peyton telling Brooke that Haley was having a good time a couple of weeks ago. He had been happy to hear that.
"I figured it's easier this way, you know. To move on," Nathan explained. "I can't keep holding onto something that's just not going to happen for me."
"I see," Lucas mumbled.
"You pissed at me?" Nathan asked suddenly as he turned to look at his brother. He knew that Lucas was his brother but he also knew that Lucas was Haley's bestfriend and he didn't want anyone hurting her. He was aware that his brother might be pissed at his decisions he couldn't help that though.
"Of course not," Lucas shook his head. "You do what's best for you. I just want you to be happy."
"And I'll be happy if you tell Brooke that it was you that hurt him," Nathan smirked.
"Nice try," Lucas chuckled. "But you're on your own."
"I'll play you for it," Nathan suggested.
"I don't understand," Lucas asked confused.
"If I win then you tell Brooke it was you and if you win then we'll just tell her the truth."
"I don't think so," Lucas answered with a smile. "Besides, relax little brother. Thanksgiving is in a few days. I'm sure that Brooke will take it easy on you. I mean, she wouldn't want you dead right before the holidays. You know how much she loves those."
"That I do," Nathan nodded. Brooke and Peyton seemed like two different people around this time of year. They always went all out for everything and made it really special.
Julian made his way across the court. "I'm ready again."
"Hold on, J," Lucas muttered holding up his hands. "Brooke will kill us if we hurt you again."
Julian rolled his eyes. "I'm switching teams!"
Nathan smirked as Lucas shook his head. Then they were playing again and he lost himself in the game with his friends. Anything was better than thinking about her.
~***~
"Here you go."
Owen placed another beer in front of him and he quickly lifted it to his mouth. He savored the taste of it before placing in back on the counter. Owen began wiping down the counter next to him.
"What's with the shiner?"
He smirked. "Luke got a little too aggressive in our game earlier." He was sure by now his eye was turning purple. He had been driving the ball and Lucas just wouldn't back down. Once he shot the lay-up and it didn't go in, they both jumped for the ball and he got Lucas's elbow right in his eye.
"Looks like it hurts," Owen commented.
He shrugged. "I don't feel a thing."
How completely fucked up his that, he thought? He didn't feel a thing. He hadn't since she left town. Everything was just gone. Just like before he was numb again. No pain, no happiness, nothing. There was just nothing left.
"You a tough guy now?"
"I always have been," Nathan pointed out. "It's easier that way. You block yourself off and that way no one can get in. If no one gets in then no one can hurt you. It helps being tough sometimes. It comes in handy." Liar.
That's how he was going to be from now on. There was no way that he was letting anyone get close enough to hurt him again. No way. This is how things were meant to be for him. Nobody was getting in.
"I hear ya," Owen nodded.
"It's the truth."
"You staying late tonight? You've been spending a lot of time in here."
He nodded. "Keep 'em coming." He held up his beer before bringing it to his mouth again. Owen nodded before turning and helping a few girls on the other side of the bar.
He glanced down at the beer in his hands. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out. Unknown number. He held it in his hands until it stopped flashing and going off. Then he waited a few more seconds before opening it up. Sure enough there was a voice message waiting. He was completely ready to hang up his phone but instead he hit a few buttons before bringing it to his ear. He waited until he heard her voice.
"Hey, it's me again. I guess I missed you again. Sorry I keep calling so late. I know you're probably sleeping or something. Things are pretty hectic around here. Brooke told me that your team won again. Congrats. I knew you would. The boys really listen and look up to you. You're so good with them. Well, I have to go…I um, I was hoping that you would answer your cell but I guess you're busy. I get it. Uh, Nathan I…I just…I miss you so much. I do. I guess I'll try again another time. Bye, Nathan."
He pulled the phone away, hit the repeat button and listened to it again. Then once it was over he did it again loving the sound of her voice. He finished off his beer and Owen quickly gave him another one. He felt someone sit beside him.
"Thought I'd come and say hi."
"Courtney," Nathan smiled as leaned sideways and gave her a quick hug. "How have you been?"
"Good," Courtney answered. "You?"
"I've been better," Nathan answered honestly. "But I've also been worse so I guess it can't be too bad. It's real good seeing you. You look great." He smiled at her before taking in the sight of her again. She was wearing a tight little black dress that showed off all of her amazing curves.
"Did you get into a brawl?"
He turned so that she could get a better look at his eye. He smiled proudly. "Trust me, the other guy looked worse."
"I'll bet. You weren't too hard on him?"
"Nah," Nathan shook his head. "I've got a soft spot for him."
She smiled. "Where's the girlfriend?"
"What girlfriend?" Nathan chuckled as he glanced around. "It's just you and me."
"I'm talking about the girl. You know, the one," Courtney muttered as she smiled at him knowingly.
He shook his head. "She went off chasing her dreams and turns out that I'm not in them so…" he kept the smile on his face as she frowned.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Nathan stated quickly. "Fate's funny like that sometimes. I guess she just came back to close up a few loose ends before she took off again. Hey, but at least she said goodbye this time. And you know, I think I've finally got closure on the whole thing." Keep telling yourself that!
"That's good," Courtney smiled.
"Can I get you something to drink?" Owen asked.
"Whatever she wants, Owen. It's on me."
"I'll have a beer." She pointed to the beer in Nathan's hands and Owen placed one right in front of her before walking away. Nathan sat there watching her drink her first few sips before she finally glanced at him smiling.
"So what have you been up to?"
"Oh a lot of dating," Courtney answered grimly. "Man, I'll tell you there are a lot of jackasses out there. My friend has been setting me up with someone new every weekend even though I keep telling her that I can get my own dates. She's so freaking nosy!"
"I know what you mean," Nathan chuckled.
"You got people keeping tabs on you, too? Who am I kidding? Brooke and Peyton probably harass you twenty four seven. You so have the worst of it. Sorry, dude."
"It sucks," Nathan agreed.
"If it helps I think they just want you to be happy," Courtney pointed out.
He nodded. "Yeah, but they're still a pain in my ass."
"I feel the same about Dana. That girl is just waiting for me so snap and go off on her. I didn't think it was possible for a girl to know so many jerks but each week it still surprises me when the guy tries to fill me up on the drive home."
He couldn't help but laugh at how frustrated she seemed. "You know I have a keen sense on reading people. If you'd like I could easily tell you which guys are jerks and which ones are ok. I mean if you want. I'm available whenever you need me. I could be your own personal jerk finder!"
"Really," Courtney smiled brightly. "I'll keep you right by my side all day long."
"I'll even let you put a little leash on me," Nathan joked.
"But really though, there are a lot of jerks out there."
He held up his hands. "Hey, don't look at me. I'm not one of them. I handed in my jerk card years ago." He smirked at her as she brought her beer back to her mouth.
"Is that so? Why is the dating thing so hard? I mean...it's just. Why can't I find a nice guy who wants the same things that I want? Someone who gets me. I'm just so tired of being alone and I just want someone...someone to..." Their eyes locked and Nathan noticed that look.
She smiled seductively at him and he smirked back. This is what flirting was like. It had been so long since he had done this. Courtney was beautiful and fun. He loved talking to her and from the looks of it she still liked him. Either way it didn't matter. He was drunk and she was here. He couldn't think of anything else that mattered at the moment.
Moving on just got a little more interesting.
Turning to face her fully he continued smirking as he leaned in. Before he could make it she reached him first. They kissed softly and that dull numbing pain took over everything. He pulled away quickly.
"You want to get out of here?" Courtney asked breathlessly.
He let the inner battle with himself rage in his mind. Courtney was hot, ready, and willing. She was a lot of things and he could easily see himself with her. She was girlfriend material. There was only one thing wrong with her. She wasn't Haley. He swallowed the lump in his throat. This is as good as it's going to get for you! He kept repeating that over and over in his head. It didn't make him feel any better. Hell, he didn't feel anything.
AN: Please review! Will he or won't he? IDK!