A/N: Okay a few things to take note of before you start:

1)The previous chapter was a flashback chapter

2)Donna and Jack did have a baby, but the baby died

3)Brody and Kim were close but weren't dating

4)Kim had a child (previous, previous chapter) but you know I can twist the story which was exactly what I did

Okay done, I'll explain everything else at the end of the chapter. Thank you to all my loyal readers, I know I haven't been updating much: due to school. So thanks for those of you who still haven't gave up on this story. You guys are awesome and this is for y'all. Enjoy…

Not Since You

Chapter 8: Loaded

If Kim looked back, she could pin point the exact moment when she knew her fate was sealed. It was the moment she met Tyler Priston. Or to be more precise the moment she and Abigail Cavanagh met Tyler Priston.

Abigail and Tyler had a somewhat fairytale love. Girl meets boy, boy meets girl. They fall in love and get married. Of course they had their differences and arguments but it was nothing they could not sort out. Tyler and Abigail, to Kim, were the perfect couple. Nothing stood in their way. It was over time did Kim realized that the perfect couple was not so perfect. There were many flaws in their love but they always moved on from it. There was just one that Kim knew was immensely difficult to move on from but they managed it with her help.

It was not that strange that, now when Jack was staring at her, his face so shocked and confused, did they come into her mind. Jack may have been her best friend at one point but Abigail and Tyler; she would do anything for. Her mind should be strong, Kim after all thought this was a possibility (that everything was going down today, she was bringing Austin when Jack was going to be there after all) but her mind was more like an organized mess.

Kim could see her mom rushing towards her. Ignoring her audience (Jack, Stella, Jerry, Eddie and Milton) she turned to Austin who in the moment reminded her so much of Abigail and Tyler and said, "Why don't you go off with grandma."

Austin nodded and removed himself from Kim's arm and launched himself to Kim's mom. Kim's mom then whispered, "I'm going to take Austin home. Good luck."

Luck. Kim didn't know if she believed in luck. She longed for a miracle but she knew that she was in a sinking ship. Kim watched her mom and Austin leave before turning to address her audience.

"Stella you handle Milton, Jerry and Eddie," Kim said knowing those words would hurt Jack, "I'll explain it to Jack."

"Tell them everything?" Stella's question sounded like a statement.

"Everything," Kim confirmed. She watched once again as the last of them leave.

…

Jack's brain was in a whirl. He was confused, agitated and he did not do those things well. He did them as well as people bossing him off which he knew he did not.

"Stella you handle Milton, Jerry and Eddie," Jack heard Kim say.

That was like a blow in the stomach. Stella knew and deliberately kept it away from him. It was probably the reason why she had been so secretive. How could his own family do this? To him of all people?

"I'll explain it to Jack."

Explain it to him? Kim owed him more than an explanation, she owed him everything. He felt as if he wasn't able to speak. Ideas and theories began swirling in his head. That boy had Kim's eyes. He knew brown was a very general eye color, most people had them. But he also knew that the boy, who looked roughly like he was four years old, had Kim's brown eyes. He didn't know how he just did. If Jack was not thinking that hard or was able to pass his shock, he would have realized that Kim was pulling him into a nearby coffeehouse. Kim pulled him into a booth and sat him down before sitting down opposite him.

He could see Kim calculating and thinking hard. Maybe to what she was exactly going to say to him. How she messed up her whole life.

"Don't judge or jump to conclusions, hear the explanation first," Jack finally heard Kim say before looking into his eyes and saying, "You're judging ."

That simple sentence broke his silence or shock or whatever it was, "Well what am I supposed to do?"

"Let me explain"

"Is that why you left? God Kim how stupid can you be. You just ruined you're whole life…" Jack started to rant but was cut off by Kim.

"I didn't ruin my life Jack! Shut up and just let me explain okay," Kim said before taking a deep breath to calm herself. She let out her breath with a heavy sigh and said, "There is so much more to this story than you know. Firstly he is related to me but he is not mine…."

Not Kim's? But then how…

"…His real parents were Tyler and Abigail Priston…."

"You mean…"

"My cousin," Kim said looking at Jack in the eye, "They were looking for a baby and someone to make the baby."

"I thought you said…" Jack started to argue. He knew Kim was dumbing it down for him and although he was irritated at that point he needed to know that she did no loose her…

"Stop, Let me explain, okay?" Kim said looking at Jack in the eye. Jack was surprised at the intense gaze. He watched as Kim took a deep breath and began speaking once more, "Anyway I was living with my Aunt Charlotte by then. They came by and asked if I would help with the baby. They needed an egg as Abigail's ones weren't strong or kept dying off or something…."

Jack felt himself internally relax, a little. The question he had been dying to know was answered. Kim had not left town, five years ago because she got pregnant.

"…They would pay everything. There was the problem of me being a minor and everything but that was settled when I turned eighteen. Kim said before pausing and playing with the bracelet on her hand. She took a second before continuing in a softer voice, "Abigail carried him for eight months when the worst thing that could possibly happen happened. Brad got into a car accident. Brad died instantly and Abigail was in shock."

"The shock was not good for her or the baby. When time came for the baby to come, there were complications and Abigail got into a coma…"

By the end Jack had to strain his ears to catch what Kim said. Wow. Now he felt like a jerk for the way he was treating her.

"Once the baby was born, I became a wreck. Brad's will stated that if anything happened to him or Abigail I was in charge of him…"- at this point Kim's voice began to get louder… "I was in charge of him! I don't know how to take care of a kid, I barely just got out of that stage!" Jack could feel her trying to control her hysteria.

"I was feeling so alone and empty so I started doing so much more .. unappealing things," Jack heard Kim phrase out the words carefully. His heart started to beat faster. What did she meant by unappealing? "And I was on a downwards spiral when my aunt drew out and said that I had to get straightened out. Not for me but for Austin."

By the last few words, Kim's voice drew soft and she stared at the bracelet she was wearing. Jack felt loss for words. What do you say to that? What would anyone say to that? Kim had just went through hell and she never told him until now. Jack felt the urge to wrap her in his arms and protect her even though she did not need it anymore. Jack kept silent, not knowing what to say when Kim tilted her head to look at him. Her voice was so soft and yet it carried of her emotions, "They made me godmother you know. Aunt Charlotte still keeps on the life support in hope that Abigail will wake up."

Maybe it was the way Kim phrased those words but the next few words that came out from Jack's mouth without him realizing the full extent of the what was meant by his words, "Kim, I am so sorry. I'll help you out with Austin and…"

"I didn't come back for help or the money," Kim spat out when she interrupted what Jack was saying. Jack had to hide the shock at the sudden fire in her eyes. There was so much fierceness and pride, "If that's the kind of person you think I am then you are sadly mistaken. Do you think I want the money? Or any guy to become a father figure for Austin? I came back to make things right, if not for me, for Austin."

Jack felt as if he just put his foot in his mouth and wanted to apologize. But Kim didn't seem to stop she kept on talking, "I left town five years ago not because you got Donna pregnant or so I could help Tyler and Abigail, it was because I needed some space away from you. We both made a lot of mistakes in high school, but did you know any of mine?"

"It seems like I was always there for you and you weren't for me. Do you know how hard it was to hear that you got Donna Tobin pregnant? By the time graduation was coming I wanted out. I didn't even recognize you as a person I even wanted to be around," Kim said.

And then there was silence. Jack felt himself grow small. Kim left because of him. Because he messed up. Looking back Kim was spot on in what she was saying. He could remember her being there for the Heather crap, forcing him to study for mid-terms, even his mini breakdown along with several other things but he... Jack could remember not making it for her events, even the ones that didn't mean that much to her.

He was such a pathetic best friend. No wonder Kim became closer to Brody. And just like that jealousy flared up in him. Brody was just as much in the dark as he was but Jack always felt that Brody was more well informed about Kim then he was.

Jack heard Kim take a deep breath and let out a sigh before looking at him the eyes, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I have to go."

"Before you go, does he know?" Jack said quietly, observing Kim.

Kim closed her eyes and nodded before saying, "Yes."

…

Kim walked out of the coffee shop feeling rather weird. There were so many emotions that were bubbling inside. She had finally told Jack everything…Well not everything, the therapy sessions and other minute details were for another time. Now she had to keep her emotions in check.

She felt a little breathless and light as if she just released a heavy weight and yet there was a significant amount of guilt dropping into her stomach. But the emotion that seemed to be overclouding everything else was pride.

Did Jack honestly think she came back for money and his help? She knew Jack had money but she would have never accepted it even if he offered. Then there was the fact that Jack thought she needed someone to help her with Austin. Sure, Kim wanted someone to be a father figure towards Austin. But did Jack honestly think that he was cut out for it? He had so many things in his past that could affect Austin.

She didn't want to sound mean but she knew Jack still had unresolved issues with the hold Donna and the baby thing. She wanted Jack to be stable before he entered Austin's life. Because right now, actually right since Tyler and Abigail, Austin was her main priority.

Nothing would ever change that, not even Jack.

And then there was one last thing that messed Kim's feelings up even more. It was the question that Jack asked just before she left. 'Does he know' replayed in her mind. Kim wasn't stupid, she knew Jack was referring to Brody. But why did she practically have to force herself to say that Brody knew before Jack? Because the truth was she had been lying when she said Grace and Stella were the only ones that she maintained contact. She maintained contact with Brody ever since she left.

A/N: Done. Finally…Sorry again for the long wait. Some of you have been asking me to make Jack/Brody the father, but that kind of storyline has been overused in my opinion, so I changed it up instead. I didn't want Kim to get pregnant cause she is a smart girl. As for the Jack/Brody thing. I'm not sure who Kim would end up with. When I first started this fanfic I was so sure of what I wanted, but then every chapter brought me to a different direction. If you want Brody in this story say so and I'll add him in. If not, then okay. I'll take in you reviews and what not's into consideration but I will go with what I think the story needs.

So enough with me, if I haven't explain enough, PM me or leave a review, I'll answer. Anyway I have to go, I have school tomorrow. I'll try to add the next chapter as soon as possible :)