Authors note: dedicated to Keepress, Kathryn and Ray, the three musketeers
Previously:
There standing in the middle of the lounge was Rose…with a nine month pregnancy bump.
"Bloody hell you and the Doctor work fast" Gwen said finding her voice.
Owen Harper woke up to find himself not only half naked from the waist up but on the floor underneath Tosh's desk. He was woken by the sounds of the cog door opening and someone shouting.
"DOCTOR!"
He groaned and rubbed his eyes and began to sit up, his head was banging and honestly he was not up to working right now.
"DOCTOR GET YOUR SKINNY PINSTRIPE ARSE DOWN HERE BEFORE I DRAG IT OUT OF BED!"
Owen peered over Tosh's desk to see Rose leaning on Gwen as she shouted her head off, he was about to lie back down on the floor when he realized that she had a pregnancy bump and his head shot up again.
"Bloody hell" he breathed
The Doctor and Jack stumbled down the stairs tiredly; they jumped back when they saw Rose's pregnancy bump.
"What?" the Doctor squeaked mouth slack.
"Something you would like to tell me about Time Lord Biology?" Rose snarled "something you should have told me before? Could have said by the way Rose you won't know you're pregnant till you wake up with a gigantic bump one day!"
"Guh!" was all the Doctor could manage
"I'm not an expert on these kind of things" Jack said "but isn't this a sign of a Nostrovite pregnancy?"
"A what pregnancy?" Gwen asked
"Nostrovite carnivorous shape shifters who hunt in pairs and mate for life. After fertilization, the female passes the eggs on to the male, who then transfers them to a host to act as an incubator until the time is right. The female then tracks the host down, and when the egg is ready to hatch she tears the host apart to free the offspring." The Doctor said finding his voice.
"Wait so Rose is pregnant with an alien baby and it isn't yours" Owen said finally catching on
The foursome turned to stare at him.
"He's got a point but not the right one" Gwen said ignoring the jealous/angry look that the Doctor had plastered on his face "the point is AN ALIEN IS GOING TO RIP MY SISTER INTO SHREDS TODAY!"
By then Ianto had come in the room and he was staring at Rose with horror.
"Fine we'll cancel the ceremony and hunt that Nostrovite down" Jack said calmly
"Oh no you won't" Ianto snapped "do you know how hard I worked on this? Gwen go back to Tosh's and get ready, Jack in your suit, Rose I'll sort you out, Owen get some clothes on and Doctor work out a way to get rid of the baby"
"Err…just one problem" Owen said
"And what is that?" Ianto asked
"I have no clue where I left my shirt"
Gwen stared at her reflection, she was wearing one of the most gorgeous dresses that she has ever seen and that includes the ones in the TARDIS wardrobe. It was a ivory (she couldn't exactly wear white could she?) two piece, halter neck, boned corset, covered in detailed flowery embroidery with a layered skirt of matte satin and chiffon polyester completed with a hoop underskirt.
Her hair (done by Martha who was brilliant at doing hair) was curled and pinned up with a tiara placed on top. It was a beautiful bronze tiara with bronze coloured Calla lilies, tiny freshwater pearls and diamante droplets.
Her make up was done by Melody who painted her lips a dramatic red and outlined her eyes with black eye liner.
Overall she looked fantastic.
Rose had given her bridesmaid dress to Melody (it was lucky they were the same size) and opted to wear a black maternity wrap dress. The bridesmaid dress was a simple strapless pale pink gown, which Melody continually complained about.
"It makes me look sickly!" she protested as Tosh zipped her up "fine when I get married I'll put you in the most horrid dresses I could find"
Meanwhile in the Hub all of the men were dressed in tuxes while trying to work out what to do.
"This is what we do" Owen said pulling out some alien technology "we use this to vaporize the baby before Mrs Nostrovite comes along and crashes the wedding"
The Doctor pulled on his glasses and studied it "this is a singularity scalpel" he exclaimed "where the hell did you find this?"
"Hello, Cardiff, sitting on a rift in time and space, where else?" Jack said looking amused
"Oh yeah, forgot" the Doctor mumbled pulling his glasses off "do you know how to use this?"
"No he doesn't" Ianto said "he has almost killed us several times over playing with it"
"I said I was sorry!" Owen defended himself
"You still had to sew my ear back on though" Ianto said glaring at Owen
"Good!" the Doctor said "not about the ear, or the almost deaths or Owen not being able to use it, but good because I do and all we need is to find Rose, zap that little brat and no more threat"
"You really hate this baby don't you?" Jack asked
"Well it's not the kid's fault that its daddy put it in my mate's stomach. Picked the wrong alien now the poor kid has to suffer"
"The SUV is ready, the girls are already heading to the hotel" Ianto said
"All right then Allons-y!" the Doctor said running out of the autopsy room
"Is he always that hyper?" Ianto asked
"Yes, very much so"
The men stumbled into the ball room Ianto had hired for the occasion to find Rose sitting there with Tosh on one side and a tanned woman with brown hair on the other. The Doctor ran to Rose and greeted her with a quick kiss on a cheek.
"We found a way to terminate the baby" he whispered in her ear
"You have? Are you sure you want to do this? I mean the baby didn't do this" Rose whispered back
"Rose it's not a baby that's used to a normal delivery it'll rip your womb to pieces if its mother doesn't fetch it out soon. C'mon lets go, we'll use the honeymoon suit Ianto booked"
The Doctor led Rose up to the honeymoon suit unaware of the woman following them.
Martha, Gwen, and Melody entered the lobby and were greeted by Ianto that gave them the details on what was going on before leading them to the doors of the ball room telling them to wait there.
The tanned woman closed her eyes and shifted her appearance to look like Martha Jones; she then walked to the door and knocked.
"Doctor? Rose are you in there?" she called out
The door opened and the Doctor ushered Martha in. "we're just about to terminate the little bugger" he said "then we'll be down"
Martha inhaled sharply and glared at him.
"What? Don't tell me you're not feeling sorry for it" the Doctor said
"If you think" Martha growled her voice getting deeper and darker "that I'll let you touch a hair on my baby you got another thing" she morphed her facial features slightly and snarled picking the Doctor up by his lapels and throwing him against the wall.
"Yep definitely hate this suit" the Doctor said in a dazed voice
The shape shifter still looking like Martha strides over to Rose with her claws out. When suddenly her head exploded. Rose looked over to see an out of breath Jack clutching a large gun.
"Ianto said he didn't invite anyone else" he said in between pants "so I pulled this out and went up to warn you"
"Thanks" Rose said "now can you get this baby out of me?"
The wedding was short and sweet. The Doctor gave Gwen away (something he was rather pleased about) while Ianto acted best man and Melody and Martha were bridesmaids.
"Repeat after me" the clergy woman said "I, Jack Harkness"
"I, Jack Harkness"
"Take thee Gwen Elizabeth Harkness to be my lawful wedded wife"
"Take thee Gwen Elizabeth Harkness to be my lawful wedded wife" Jack couldn't help but grin over at Gwen who was smiling insanely as well.
"To love and cherish"
"To love and cherish"
"To honour and obey"
"To honour and obey"
"In sickness and health"
"In sickness and health"
"For better or for worse"
"For better or for worse"
"Till death do us part"
"Till death do us part" Jack choked slightly knowing it will never be his death but Gwen's that will part them as he slid on the gold wedding band on her finger.
"Now Gwen repeat after me" the clergy woman said "I, Gwen Elizabeth Harkness"
"I, Gwen Elizabeth Harkness"
"Take thee Jack Harkness as my lawful wedded husband"
"Take thee Jack Harkness as my lawful wedded husband"
"To love and cherish"
"To love and cherish"
"To honour and obey"
"To honour and obey"
"In sickness and health"
"In sickness and health"
"For better or for worse"
"For better or for worse"
"Till death do us part"
"Till death do us part" Gwen slid on a gold wedding band on Jack's finger
"Congratulations you are now man and wife you may kiss the bride"
Jack swept Gwen up into a long desperate kiss and the team applauded and cheered.