A/N: I am so so very sorry for not updating for a long long time. I haven't been on fanfic for a while, though I guess it kind of can be my fault. My friend introduced me to Wattpad and I'm addicted. For those of you who don't know Wattpad is this online website also for writers (It is also an app that can be downloaded onto you smartphone- wow I feel like im advertising it :P). I'm not an author there although I have been playing with the idea of creating my own original stories. Anyway my fault.

Another thing would be that I am currently on semester break from my school. So I have a while before I need to go back to school. I will try my absolute hardest to update a lot not for just this story but my others if you also read those. One of my other stories; Through The Years, I'm planning to take down and rewrite it because I feel like I did to many mistakes.

Not Since You

Chapter 9: The Two of Us

"Dude what am I supposed to do?" Jack heard a voice whisper harshly from somewhere in the room. Jack groaned. His head was spinning. What happened? He opened his eyes slowly only to shut them down quickly. The sunlight was too blinding. It also didn't help that his stomach churned and he felt like he was going to get a one way ticket to barf-town.

Hold it together, Jack thought. Oh no, too late. Standing up quickly, which did not at all help the nausea he was feeling, Jack bolted to the bathroom door.

"See! He's a mess. If you can't do it do you honestly think I can?" the voice continued.

"Come on Milton, you're the smartest among all of us. Just think of something," Jerry pleaded.

"But look at him!" Milton whisper yelled.

"Can you stop talking as if I'm not there," Jack yelled in the bathroom. His stomach had stopped churning but he still felt horrible. Looking into the mirror he saw how horrible he looked. He had dark eye bags, his hair was messy and he reeked as if he hadn't bathed for days, which could actually be accurate.

"Sorry," Jack heard both Milton and Jerry say.

Jack knew they were worried. It had been exactly two weeks since the Pirate's Feast where he found out about Kim and Austin. He had been…not sober for majority of the time. He didn't want to be sober, because if he was the overwhelming emotions would come crashing down on him. He knew he was pathetic but he needed to just not think for a while.

"You boys are pathetic," Jack heard a new voice say before footsteps came closer to the bathroom. Jack looked up to the mirror to notice his sister, looking at him expressionless. He didn't have time to react, when Stella marched in grabbed the shower head and sprayed him. Water began seeping through his clothes. He was now soaked from head to toe. He didn't even have time to react because Stella started talking again.

"Take a shower now, put on new clothes and go to the kitchen once you're done," Stella ordered before yelling, "Go!" to a very shocked Jack.

Jack decided following his sister's instruction was safer and did as he was told. He showered all the reek of him and took his time to get to his clothes. When he could no longer put it off, he went to the kitchen. Inside were already Stella, Jerry and Milton all whom have stopped talking when he walked in. Milton passed him a glass of water and advil. Jack smiled in thanks before swallowing the pill with water.

"You can say it," Jack finally said after a while.

"You are an idiot," Stella started, "Why are you drunk instead of fixing your problems? Come on you are Jack Anderson. The Anderson never drink their problems away? There are so many things that I want to yell at you for right now…"

"But she won't," Jerry cut her off, accepting the glare that was thrown his way. He turned to face Jack and continued, "You already have a lot of problems."

"I don't have problems," Jack muttered wishing his glass water was something a lot stronger.

"I swear to god Anderson…" Stella started before getting cut off again.

"Jack, look at yourself. You haven't been out of the house in two weeks, you are moping around, getting drunk. It's not very healthy," Milton said.

"Yeah so?"

"Look we really don't want to bring this up. But you know this is not just about Kim and whatever. This is about what happened in the past years," Milton said.

"Can we not talk about this?" Jack said harshly. His past had nothing to do with Kim.

"No, we are going to talk about this whether you like it or not," Stella said stepping closer towards Jack, her face set in a fierce expression, "You know this all started even way before Kim left. It started when Donna told you she was pregnant. It continued when Kim left and Donna had the baby. I'm sorry the baby died Jack but you can't change the past!"

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do? I can't fix this!" Jack thundered as he put his hands in the air. He didn't know why but ever since he knew that Kim had Austin, he kept thinking about the baby. His baby. That died. And it was all his fault.

Jack remembered the first time he heard he kept thinking that he could fix it but he couldn't. He didn't even know where to start. He didn't know how to fix it so he started to avoid it. Keep his mind elsewhere so he didn't have to think about it.

"You don't need to fix this!" Stella yelled, before taking a deep breath and saying in a softer tone, "You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened you can't change it, Jack. But you can make it better. Talk to Donna. Stop avoiding her, you both need the closure. And you can talk to Kim, apologize and try to get her trust back."

"She won't give me the time of day," Jack muttered not knowing whether he was talking about Kim or Donna. He hadn't talk to Donna since the baby thing, he could not believe it had been close to five years.

"You don't know that. Who knows, she might surprise you," Stella said.

"I'm going for a walk, don't bother waiting," Jack said as he walked out of the kitchen, quickly grabbing his phone and wallet and made his way out of the house.

The minute he stepped out he wished he could go back in to grab a jacket. The weather was quite cooling. Jack fidgeted before moving along to the pavement. He walked not exactly having a destination in mind. He was too focused on his thoughts.

You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened.

Did he blame himself for what happened? Surely not. There was nothing that he could have done. And maybe that was why he felt so guilty. Because there was nothing that he could have done. He was Jack Anderson. He was taught to be a hero. To know that people are always put in unlikely situations and that he might be able to help them.

But how could he when he can't even help himself. He knew there were five stages of some crappy thing that Milton made him watch when the baby first died. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Jack already though he went through the stages. He had been in denial, before being angry at everyone; Donna, the baby, even Kim because she wasn't there. But he was mostly angry at himself. He would have done anything to go back and prevented it and he went through a few months of not being sober and depressed.

Jack thought that he already accepted that the baby was gone. So why is it still haunting him? Because somewhere deep inside he knew that he never gave himself the closure he needed. Donna had tried for the longest time to get him to talk but all he did was avoid her.

Jack was so lost in thought that when he finally noticed where he was going he stopped. Taking a deep breath he stopped. It had been a while since he went down this way and he knew that today he was going to go through it after all, the times he avoided it in the past years. He still remembered it just like it was yesterday.

Next thing he knew he was facing a small tombstone. The ones made for little children which was all the more sadder. The name was Jennifer Grace Anderson. His daughter. The one that died before she even got the chance to live. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't feel numb or broken like the other times before. He was not shedding any tears or whatever. His heart felt heavy and he didn't know what to feel.

"People say it gets easier over time. It doesn't really, it just gets a little bit more bearable," Jack heard a voice say from behind him.

He didn't do or say anything to acknowledge her presence but Jack knew that she knew he heard her. Jack heard her soft footsteps before she held his hand.

"I use to come here every other day when she died. I used to think of the live she could have lived," Donna said.

"What was her life?" Jack said before he could stop himself.

Donna didn't seem to mind, "She would be the most prettiest girl out there. She would meet her best friend in middle school and they would get in to all sorts of trouble. Then she would enter high school where she learns what being a friend means, she would meet a guy and fall in love and then college. She would go through heartbreak and heartaches but she will grow up so strong and beautiful."

"Well at least that is one thing I didn't have to worry about. Her meeting a guy," Jack said before mentally punching himself. That was so stupid of him to say. Donna was going to yell at him for being so stupid. But Donna surprised him by laughing.

"Yeah, at least that's one thing you don't have to worry about," Donna said before pausing and facing him. Jack could see the hesitation in her expression, "Do you ever think about her?"

"All the time back then," jack replied in a heartbeat, "It's getting more bearable though…How did you know I was going to be here. Did Stella or Milton or someone call you?"

"No, I was just going to visit her today," Donna said, "Would you mind keeping me company?"

"I'd love to keep you company," Jack replied.

…

"Hello dearest Kimmy-cup," the voice greeted her.

Kim groaned, "Brody, I told you to stop calling me that."

Kim was currently in the kitchen. Austin was upstairs with Kim's mom who was supervising his bath. She was calling Brody to catch up. Needless to say Brody had picked-up, greeting her with the nickname he knew bugged her.

"I will do what I please Kimmy-cup," Brody said teasing her again, "So how are things?"

Brody knew what that Kim was back at home. He was after all the first person she told. But they hadn't been in contact for a few weeks. Her because she was busy settling things in and Brody because he had been busy with work.

"Great I guess, Austin made an egg warmer for me in art class today," Kim said as she examined the egg-warmer Austin made. It was basically clay with bits of wool and clothe stuck to it. When she will ever use an egg warmer, she was not sure but it was nonetheless absolutely adorable when Austin came running to her with the gift in his hands.

"When are you ever going to use an egg-warmer?" Brody laughed.

"Well you never know maybe the egg is really cold it the fridge," Kim said trying to keep a smile of her lips not that Brody could see it anyway.

"How is the little guy anyway? Settled in good?" Brody questioned.

Brody absolutely adored Austin and it could be said the same thing for Austin about Brody as well. Kim could never keep a smile of her face every time Austin and Brody interacted. They were both fascinating to watch when they were with each other.

"He's great. He made a lot of new friends and he has been asking me to get his a pet kangaroo," Kim smiled as she remembered the small shock she received just days ago when Austin asked her if they could get a kangaroo.

"A kangaroo? What happened to the good old dog or fish?" Brody said in amusement.

"You know Austin, always doing the unexpected," Kim said.

"So how did everyone take it?"

"What is this 20 questions?"

"Kim ," Brody said in a serious voice over the phone.

"They took it as well as anyone could take I guess. Jerry, Eddie and Milton has been around a couple of times to see Austin. I swear every time he sees them he would be running over and talking about what happened to him that day," Kim said.

"That's good," Brody replied, "What about Jack?"

"I haven't seen him in two weeks," Kim sighted, "He didn't take the news well per say."

"And why am I not surprised."

"Hey, it is quite unexpected, and after all his been through he just needs some time," Kim said no even knowing why she was defending Jack. The doorbell of the house rang.

"Why are you defending him?" Brody questioned.

"I'm not," Kim lied as she walked out of the kitchen and made her way to the front door.

"Sure, sure. I believe you," Brody said sarcastically before his voice turned serious, "Just promise me to keep your guard up. He has hurt you once he can do it again."

"Okay Brody, I promised," Kim said, "Now go to bed. It must be two in the morning at New York."

"No it's not, it's just one a.m."

"Goodnight Brody. I'll talk to you later. There's someone at the door," Kim said.

"Bye Kim," Brody said before Kim hung up and opened the door to see Jerry. Jerry was smiling at her.

"Hey Kim, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought…"

"You want to see Austin," Kim cut him off. She had to stop herself from smiling. Out of Eddie and Milton, Jerry was the one who frequently visited Austin. Austin was also very happy to make a new friend out of Jerry.

Jerry nodded smiling sheepishly.

"He is having a bath right now, but you can see him later," Kim said before stepping to the side, "Come on in and relax for a while."

"So who were you on the phone with?" Jerry asked as he stepped in and shrugged his jacket off.

"Just a friend," Kim said, "So how's the girlfriend?"

"She's great, amazing, perfect," Jerry said.

"Describing a person that way is usually good, but I'm concerned. What's up?" Kim asked as she pushed Jerry into the living room.

"I'm thinking she wants to take the next step in the relationship."

"I thought you were serious about her," Kim said raising her eyebrows.

"I am," Jerry said as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I'm just allowed to freak out."

"Okay I guess, but for what it's worth, I think she's a keeper," Kim said as she gave a small shrugged.

"We'll talk about this later, I hear footsteps," Jerry said before his grin became a full frontal smile when Austin practically tackled him, "Hello Kiddo. What's up little man?"

With that Kim watched Jerry and Austin get wrapped around one another. Kim knew that Candice, Jerry's girlfriend, had been hinting the possibility of moving in together. She didn't know why Jerry was so worried, from the way he interacted with Austin she knew he would be a good father. And they were only just thinking about moving with one another. It was not like Candice was expecting a proposal or something like that.

Sometimes things like these you just have to wait out to see.

Okay done. i didn't really do a proof read so apologies for any mistakes, anyway I'm currently now thinking what should the next chapter be about. I know there is not much interaction between Jack and Kim, I'll probably put some in next chapter.

Anyway this chapter took a while because I haven't written in a while. I'm not sure if you consider it short or long but well the best I could do. I promise to at least make you not wait forever for the new chapters. So till next time :)