Chapter Twenty-Three –Don't Dream It's Over
The church was beautiful. There were white flowers everywhere. She stood in the back taking in the scene before her. Everything was so beautiful. Slowly she started walking down the aisle. The place was packed with people on each side of her. Their faces were glued to the front of the church. She tried her best to see what they were looking at but there was nothing in front of her.
She couldn't stop walking. As she made it to the front she smiled when she finally noticed some of the people. They were all sitting together in one large group. Keith and Karen, Dan and Deb, Brooke, Sam, Julian, and the boys, Peyton and Anna. She searched each row for Lucas or even Hayden but they weren't there. She glanced around the crowd of people and still no sign of either of them. Slowly she kept on walking until finally Lucas came into view with Hayden right beside him.
She smiled but it quickly faded when she took in the whole scene in front of her. A cold feeling washed over her and instantly she was numb. Lucas was smiling as Nathan held the woman's hands before him.
In that instant the woman came into view. She was beautiful. Her red hair was flowing down and she had the biggest smile on her face. Haley's hands started shaking.
Her eyes turned to Nathan. His eyes were glued to the redheaded girl before him and he had the biggest smile on his face. He was looking at the girl like…like he used to look at her. He seemed so happy.
What was happening?
As if he had heard her, he turned slightly and smiled at her before grabbing something from Lucas's awaiting hand. Then before she knew it Nathan was slipping the ring on the girl's finger.
"Rachel, meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You changed something inside me and made me a better person. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. I love you so much."
What? This wasn't happening. She went to say something but as soon as she opened her mouth nothing came out. She tried once again and still nothing. Since she couldn't say anything she took a few steps closer until she was standing right next to them. They didn't even notice her. No one did.
This wasn't real. This was not happening. There was no way. Nathan loved her and there was no way that he was marrying this girl before him. There was just no way that he told that girl what he just did. No, this wasn't real. Slowly she could hear someone talking to her.
Then how come it is? You told him there was no future for the two of you. What you thought he wouldn't move on? Then the voice was laughing inside of her head and it was driving her crazy.
She went to touch Nathan's arm and stopped when he pulled both the woman's hands in his.
"I do."
"No!" She shot up quickly in her bed, sweat covering her whole body. She was breathing heavily and still gasping for air as she glanced around in the darkness. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she thought about the dream she just had. No, that wasn't a dream, she thought. It was a nightmare.
It could have been real.
She fell back and her head hit the pillow seconds later. Once her breathing returned to normal she glanced at the alarm clock. It was already six. She tossed the covers off of her body. It was so hot and she was sweating so much. She laid there for minutes just looking up at the ceiling as she thought about the nightmare she just had.
After her talk with Quinn last night, and the swim, she had taken a shower and gone to bed. Surprisingly, she had slept good up until that awful dream. Gradually getting out of bed, she made her back towards the bathroom. She started the water before undressing herself. Once she was inside she carefully made her way under the warm water. And then she just stood there and cried. Once she was all cried out, she soaped herself and washed her hair before getting out and dressing for the day.
It was an hour later that she was finally ready to make her way downstairs. She smelt coffee and she smiled as she walked inside of the kitchen. The sight of Taylor reading the newspaper was startling and she stopped dead in her tracks.
Taylor noticed her and then rolled her eyes.
So her sister was still mad and ignoring her. Well, she could do the same. She marched right up to the coffee maker and fixed herself a cup before leaning against the counter and drinking it slowly.
"Where's Quinn?"
Taylor eyed her for a second before breathing hard. "Do I look like her keeper?"
"I see you're still mad at me," Haley muttered sarcastically. Her sister was such a child sometimes. God, it just pissed her off. What right did Taylor have to act this way towards her? She was a big girl now! You could take care of herself. She didn't need anyone looking after her.
"What gave you that idea?" Taylor retorted.
"What do you want me to say?" She really didn't feel like fighting with Taylor today. This day was already starting to suck and it was supposed to be a good day. She just couldn't deal with anything else right now.
"That you're making a huge mistake by giving him another chance. Jeez, Haley, that jerk doesn't even deserve you. Why would you take a chance on him again?" Taylor asked irritated.
"Because I'm in love with him," Haley answered angrily. What didn't Taylor get about that? It's not like she could control how she felt. Things were just better when she was with Nathan then when she was apart from him. Didn't she get that?
"You're going to regret this."
"Well, you'll be happy to know that it's over," Haley replied curtly. "He broke up with me."
"What?" Taylor asked before dropping the newspaper in her hands. "You can't be serious. You did not let that idiot break up with you! I knew this would happen! What did you give it up and that's all he wanted, right?"
"That's not what happened," Haley snapped. "And for your information, I'm still a virgin and you know what? I'm proud of it! Not everyone is like you and fucks every guy they see. So do me a favor and get over yourself because the last person that I want to be like is you!"
"Whoa," Mia muttered as she slowly walked into the kitchen. "Am I interrupting something?"
"No," they both yelled at the same time. Mia smiled before making her way towards Haley and pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"Awkward." Mia grinned at her.
Haley turned her attention to Taylor. "My relationship is none of your business. I know that you just don't want me to get hurt but Nathan is not the horrible guy that you make him out to be. He's just not like that. So please just let it go," Haley asked carefully.
"Whatever," Taylor muttered. "I'm over it."
"Thank you," Haley smiled. "Sorry about earlier. Taylor, this is my good friend Mia. Mia, this is my sister Taylor." She pointed to each of them as she introduced them.
"Hurricane Taylor," Mia smiled. "I've heard a lot of stories about you girl."
"Don't listen to Haley-bop. She's –"
"No, from Quinn," Mia cut her off. "Did you really sleep with one of your teachers in high school and then got him fired because he wouldn't leave his wife?"
"I might have," Taylor muttered proudly.
Haley rolled her eyes. "Where's Quinn?"
"Airport," Taylor answered. "She went get Brad, Michael, and Carmen."
Haley nodded before moving around the kitchen.
"Did you sleep well? I slept like a freakin baby!"
She sighed. "I had a nightmare."
"Was it the same one with Brooke parading you around New York naked?"
She cringed. That dream had been the worse. She had been horrified after she woke up and for the next four days after that she wore long sleeves.
"God, no," Haley muttered in disgust.
"Was it the one with the three creepy clowns?" Taylor asked with a grin.
She shuddered. "No!"
"Clowns?" Mia questioned amused.
"Lets just say Haley here is freakishly terrified of our friendly funny clowns," Taylor explained.
"Their just so creepy," Haley mumbled as she shuddered again.
Mia laughed loudly. "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"
"Shut up," Haley muttered as she slapped Mia on the arm.
"Ouch," Mia laughed. "So what did your nightmare consist of?"
She took a deep breath. "Nathan married some redheaded whore named Rachel and I had to stand there and watch the whole thing. It was horrible!" She then pouted as she pictured it all again. She really didn't like watching it but it played over like a movie in her head.
"Was I at the wedding?" Mia questioned.
"You can't be serious," Haley laughed. "I don't know I was sort of busy with trying to get Nathan's attention. But I'll tell you what I'll look for you the next time!" She muttered it sarcastically and rolled her eyes. Mai shrugged before taking a sip of her coffee and then eyed her for a few seconds.
"So are you really a virgin?" Mia asked bluntly as Taylor started laughing. She glared at her sister and said the first thing that came to her mind.
"She's dating Chase Adams!"
~***~
Vivian, Alex, and Adam made it to Quinn's first. The six of them were currently in the living room talking. It was easy to lose herself with Vivian. They were currently asking Mia questions about her career and Haley sat back and listened. She was happy that so far most of her family liked Mia. She glanced over and noticed Taylor glaring at the girl.
Taylor didn't take it well that Mia was with Chase. She knew that her sister wouldn't and she felt horrible for saying it but it did get the attention off of her. In fact, the tension was becoming unbearable until good old Viv showed up. She had been so grateful when they got there.
She heard the door slam and she glanced towards the living room entrance.
"The pretty people are here!"
She rolled her eyes as Mark's voice boomed through the living room. She noticed him a second later with a huge smirk on his face. Brad was right beside him. She missed her brothers' so much. They both grinned at her and she rushed across the living room and into their awaiting arms. She was up in the air a second later and they both held her off of the ground, her feet just dangling. They were both hugging her tightly and she struggled to breathe. Then Quinn hugged them from behind and there was laughter before they all fell to the ground. Brad braced himself so that all of his weight didn't crush her.
"Should we help them?" Mia asked amused.
"No," Taylor laughed. "Those idiots deserved it."
"Man, you're on bitch mode twenty four seven," Vivian stated as she stood up and helped Quinn up and then they both helped her up.
Her sides hurt a little but that didn't matter. She was just so happy to see her family again. Even Taylor. Everyone hugged and said their hellos. She noticed Michael hiding behind Carmen and she quickly pulled him in her arms and hugged him tight. He reminded her of Brennan, he was just so shy.
She placed him back on the ground and sure enough he jumped in Carmen's arms.
She laughed before turning her attention to her pregnant sister-in-law. "Hey, Beth. How you doing? I'll bet you're ready for the baby to get here, huh?"
"You have no idea," Beth nodded. A second later Mark's hand was covering her belly. He smirked at her before bending down. Like all the times he was around Beth, Mark had the biggest smile on his face like he was the happiest person on the planet.
"Hey, buddy, kick for your Aunt Haley." Mark muttered to Beth's belly. She laughed before rolling her eyes at him. When nothing happened he stood up. "Damn that usually works."
She laughed before hugging him again. "I've missed you."
"How's that whole touring thing going?" Mark asked. "People treating you right, huh? Because if they're not then you just let me know." He pointed to himself, his face nothing but serious. Beth rolled her eyes before pushing him out of her way as she went to take a seat.
"Great...everything is great," Haley answered. "Actually, this is one of the girls I'm touring with. Everyone this is Mia and Mia this is everyone."
Mia waved. "Hi."
"Where's –"
"The party has arrived people!"
She heard her mother's voice and smiled. No use in wondering who Mark took after. She pushed her way through her brothers and sisters before jumping in her mothers arms first. She was the youngest. She held her mother tight. It felt like forever since she seen her parents and she missed them so much.
"Mom, I've missed you."
"Mom? Have you been smoking crack? You know that I only go by the name of Lydia!"
"Forgive my wife," Jimmy apologized when he noticed Mia. "She's been drinking today." He held his hand in front of his mouth as he pretended to drink before pointing to his wife.
Haley laughed as she glanced over her shoulder. "Dad, she's going to think we're all crazy."
"Well…" Jimmy shrugged.
"She would think, right," Brad smirked. He then grinned at Mia. "Sorry."
"Don't worry. My family is crazier than this."
They all eyed her questionably. "Hold off judgment until the end of the day, sweetheart."
"Then you tell us what you think," Quinn agreed with their Mom.
"Ok," Mia finally nodded as all eyes stayed on her.
"So are we going to get this holiday going or what," Jimmy muttered, walking fully into the living room. All the women slowly left the room. As quick as she could she took Mia's hand and pulled her towards the kitchen where all the women were heading. Once they were inside they both took a seat at the table as Quinn, Vivian, and her Mom started finishing up the Thanksgiving meal that Quinn had started.
"They're just going to watch football," Haley explained as she motioned towards the living room with the guys already yelling.
"I love football."
"You do?" Vivian laughed.
"You can go watch if you want," Lydia suggested. "We won't judge you. Well, we'll at least wait until you're out the room!"
"Mom!"
Quinn nodded. "We really don't mind. We'll just sit here and gossip about the guys."
"Sold," Mia grinned. "That sounds way more interesting than watching some game."
"I like her," Lydia grinned. "Now who do we start with first?"
Haley looked over at Mia apologetically. "I'm sorry. I tried to warn you."
"Shh, I want to hear," Mia shushed her.
"Let's start with Kevin," Vivian suggested.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Or Adam."
"I swear if your brother doesn't give me at least ten minutes of space today, I'll kill him," Beth muttered in a serious tone.
"That boy needs to get a life," Lydia agreed.
She rolled her eyes and sat there and listened as they talked about her brothers and father. Beth and Carmen just wouldn't stop talking about Brad and Mark, and their stories were funny. She laughed along with them but a part of her couldn't help but wonder what was happening in Tree Hill. What were they doing? How were the kids? How was Nathan? Was he happy? She wasn't.
~***~
Thanksgiving Day had been fun and she enjoyed spending time with her family. She really had missed them and it was really good seeing them all again. She stopped worrying about Mia and what she thought around the time they were sitting in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Mia had fit right in with her sisters' and Mom.
Mia had sat there with a smile on her face and talked just as much as everyone else. It was like she had always been part of the family. Once they had started talking about her father, Haley had left and went out back to play with Michael and Alex. She had so much fun with them but she couldn't help but feel a sense of loss as she thought about how she played with Hayden, Jordan, Brennan, and Anna. It only made her miss them more.
When Kevin had showed up she had been so ready to meet him. In fact, she had pushed Viv out of the way to get to him first and when she noticed how handsome he was she smiled at her sister.
Their mother had been more vocal about it saying, "Damn, he's hot, Quinny."
They all had a good laugh at that. Then once it was time for him to meet the rest of the family she had laughed when her brother pretended to want to hurt him and it was really funny at how nervous he seemed. Her father really hadn't helped at all with Kevin's nerves.
"You're the guy that's doing my daughter, right?" Jimmy had asked him in front of everyone. The whole room had been silent and she had been in just as much shock that Kevin had seemed to be in. It was minutes later when her parents' started laughing and then her brothers' joined in. She was too stunned to laugh and she felt horrible for Kevin because he seemed so terrified of her family. She would have been mortified if that had been her. But then again she was different from the rest of her family. They were all getting a kick out of this and she felt Kevin's discomfort.
Kevin seemed too really chill after that and it also helped that Quinn held his hand the whole time. She had watched them all afternoon together. She watched them laughing, whispering, and their few stolen kisses. It was just so weird to see Quinn like this again –so in love and acting like a teenager. She was so happy for Quinn and Kevin.
Once dinner was ready, they all sat and ate while laughing. Her parents' were quite the entertainment and she was sure that Mia was in love with them, it happened right around the time her mother called Mai the daughter she never had. Quinn and Vivian got a kick out of that.
She was thankful that everyone seemed to like Mia and most of her family spent their time asking Mia questions about her life. And then they did the same with Kevin. She was grateful that the attention wasn't on her. She hated it when her family made a big deal on her. She didn't like the attention at all.
After dinner her mother and Viv pulled her aside to have a little talk with her just like Quinn said they would. She stood there and listened as they went on and on about how she didn't seem happy. Of course she lied and told them that she was and after thirty minutes of gushing about the tour they finally let it go.
"We just want you to be happy, sweetie," her mother had said.
She had smiled and promised them that she was before hugging each of them. They were just worried and she took comfort in knowing that at least someone was worried about her and it made her realize that she wasn't as alone as she thought.
She had really tried to enjoy herself after that.
Viv, Alex, and Adam left first and she was sad to see them go. Alex had this play in two days that they needed to get back for. She knew that Quinn had to wake up early to bring Brad, Carmen, and Michael to the airport in the morning because they were spending the rest of the holidays with Carmen's side of the family.
Now she was sitting out back as the rest of her family played Family Feud. She didn't want to be any part of it. The last time they played Quinn and Taylor got into a fight and when she tried to stop it, Taylor had bitten her hand. She never wanted to get into one of their fights again and she was sure that they were going to fight again tonight.
She could hear them yelling now and she was all the way in the backyard.
Her family was really something. She moved her feet back and forth in the cool water. Lifting her wine glass she took a sip before placing the glass back down next to her. It was a few seconds later when her cell phone started ringing. She grabbed it and flipped it open quickly.
"Hello."
"How was your day?"
"Brooke?"
"Who do you think it is, Haley?"
She smiled before laughing softly.
"What?"
"You called me Haley," she pointed out, touched. Brooke always seemed to call her tutor girl and it was getting to the point where she thought Brooke would call her "Tutor Girl" forever.
"That is your name. Girl, you just get weirder and weirder!"
She laughed. "How is everyone? How are the boys? Did they have fun today? What did you guys do today?"
"The usual ate until we couldn't breathe and the kids ran around until they were too exhausted to do anything but sleep."
"So they're sleeping?"
"No, their still running around but I'm sure they'll pass out any minute now."
"Fun," Haley smiled. "I wish I could've been there."
"The kids miss you. Jordan's been asking when you're coming home. I think you broke my little boy's heart, Haley James. You know if it was anyone else I would've already kicked your ass!"
"I know," Haley laughed. "I miss them."
"Did you have fun seeing your family again?"
"Yep," Haley answered. "I swear they love Mia more than they do me. That girl is fitting in so well. I think they want to keep her."
"They can have her!"
She laughed at Brooke's playful tone. Out of everyone back in Tree Hill she talked to Brooke every single day. Brooke always called if she didn't call her first. She loved hearing from Brooke. It kept her informed about what was going on and it made her feel still connected to Tree Hill.
"So how was the concert in Dallas?"
"It was good. I got to perform one of my new songs and that was a lot of fun," Haley muttered. She was writing so much these days and that song just came right out of her. It's like the words had always been there and she just never wrote them down before.
"I'm still working on my spring line and that's been fun. My mother has been all over me for the sketches. Everyone in New York is waiting for them."
"Tell Victoria to stuff it," Haley stated as she rolled her eyes. After hearing stories about Victoria Davis, Haley didn't really like her. She wasn't a very good mother to Brooke and she hated how bad she treated her. Brooke might pretend to be all hard but when she talked about her mother her face always seemed different. It was like it hurt her to think about her mother or something. Anyway, Haley hated it. No one should be mean to Brooke especially her mother.
"That'll go over great at the board meeting."
At the sound of Brooke's laughter she felt herself relax. "Hey, it's your company. You can do whatever you want!"
"Damn straight!"
"How's everyone else?" Haley asked hesitantly. They both knew who she was asking about and of course on the other end of the line there was silence. She waited for Brooke to answer.
"Everyone's good."
"That's…that's good to hear. I'm happy that everyone's good," Haley stammered as she felt a stab in her heart. She was glad at least one of them was good.
"We all miss you, you know?"
She sighed before smiling. "Yeah, I miss everyone, too. Things just aren't the same."
"Aren't you Rock Stars supposed to be happy?"
Again she could tell by the tone of Brooke's voice that she was just teasing but she didn't find anything funny about it. There was nothing funny about this.
"I'm not a Rock Star," Haley muttered.
"I heard your song on the radio three times yesterday. You are definitely a Rock Star now, Haley James. Now, I have to go, Brennan is yelling from the bathtub and I don't want him spilling water all over the bathroom again so I'll call you tomorrow. Bye, Tutor Girl!"
"Bye."
She hung up the phone and glanced at it for a few seconds before lifting her glass of wine and drinking the rest of it. Then she turned her attention to the stars. She just sat there and watched them for what felt like a long time. It was always nice watching something so beautiful and perfect.
In her mind she could easily picture herself on Nathan's lap that night by the pond as they watched the stars together. Closing her eyes she could feel his arms around her and she held onto that memory for as long as she could. It lasted until Brad interrupted her thoughts as he took a seat right next to her before holding up a bottle of wine in his hands.
"Figured you might need a refill," Brad grinned.
She held up her glass as he poured her a little more. "Thanks."
"You're quite welcome. What you doing out here all by yourself?"
"Just thinking," Haley admitted. "Why aren't you playing the game?"
"Quinn and Dad called a time out to arm wrestle," Brad muttered. "That was ten minutes ago and they're still holding up real nice. I gave up waiting. Mark can't believe that Dad can't beat her and he's going next. Quinn wants Kevin to see her win. That girl is insane."
She shook her head laughing. "Figures. Is Mia ok?" Haley questioned.
"That girl is just fine," Brad nodded. "She's going after Mark."
"I'm glad she's having fun. We've been so busy with work and touring just takes so much out of you. This is like her fourth one and I just don't know how she does it."
"She says that you're having fun."
"I am," Haley nodded.
He didn't seem to buy it and she sighed.
"What are you doing, Haley-bop? You seem so different from the person you were back at your wedding the last time I saw you and that's understandable. It must have been really hard for you after Chris left like that. Dad is worried. He sent me to come out here and talk to you. What's going on with you? You can tell me."
"I did what you told me to do," Haley replied before looking away. "I followed my heart."
"And?"
"He told me to leave Tree Hill."
His face was in a hard line like her words hurt him. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Haley laughed ironically. "It's all mine and I have to live with it."
"So that's it? You're just going to deal? You're not fine, Haley. You haven't been for a while now. I don't know what's holding you back but you should just let it go. Nothing is worth hurting this much over. An idiot can see that you're in pain. I'm sick and tired of seeing you like this. We all just want you to be happy…no matter what. If it's with that idiot –"
She glared at him.
"N…Nathan, whatever." He glared at her. "I have a right to still be pissed. He broke your heart and I'll never forgive him for that. But if he's what you want then you should go for it. Don't hold yourself back. You'll only regret it."
"Since when are you pro Nathan?"
He shrugged. "I thought you were happy with Chris. At least, I wanted you to be. I thought that things were finally good for you and that you were moving on with your life. I didn't know that you still cared about the idi…Nathan."
"I love him," Haley answered. "I'm in love with him…it won't go away. I just love him so much."
"I know you do," Brad nodded. "Don't live your life with the what ifs. You'll never know if you never try. You know they say that first loves are never really over. I don't know. I've only ever been in love with Carmen. Real love. You know when they're the first thing you think about in the morning –"
"And the last thing you think about at night," Haley finished for him. "When they're all you can think about."
"Yeah," Brad nodded. "If your feeling this way, then what are you doing here?"
"He told me to do this…the tour. So I'm doing it. Do you think that I wanted to leave? You think I want to feel this way? No, ok. He told me that he wanted me to do this and so I'm doing it. He didn't want me there."
"Jeez, this boy isn't really earning any brownie points with me," Brad muttered as he shook his head. He then turned and grinned at her. "It's not looking good for him, Haley-bop."
"You're such a dork," Haley declared before they both started laughing. Then just like a big bear, he wrapped his arm around her waist before pulling her into him and hugging her tightly. Her eyes snapped shut and she smiled. "But I love you and thanks for the advice. Believe it or not but you're the one that opened my eyes about a lot of things. You changed my life…for the better and I'll never forget it."
"That's what big brothers are for," Brad grinned.