Once they held hands on a cold park bench and now they do the same on the side of a bed, not meeting eyes and looking at the floor.
They do not feel the same but they understand. They are close enough. At this point they might always be. They are cursed with similarity, after all.
One thing they always had in common were their priorities. Their focus was always on the same person. It tended to be Hikaru. Not to say he was selfish, or arrogant, he just cared about himself a bit more than necessary. Kaoru also cared about him a bit more than necessary so it wasn't much of an issue. When Haruhi came into the picture she became a new focus but the most important person to Kaoru was always Hikaru. Perhaps while he had learned to open himself up, all Kaoru did was forget to lock the doors.
He had watched while Hikaru blossomed, and if this had been spring, then the winter before had been cold. He had watched while Hikaru turned icy to anyone who spoke to him and the way he froze their fingertips. Yes, fall had been lovely, and spring had been bright, but the winter had been barren. And just what was this?
That wasn't the point, though. There was no wondering what the hell life was supposed to be when it turns itself on it's head and rights itself when you've started to prefer things this way. Kaoru understood. He knew Hikaru had loved his upside down world far more than Kaoru ever could. And he knew who had been responsible for that, who had pulled him outside and shoved him into the sunlight. It didn't matter that he'd threatened to take it all away. What mattered was that he was gone.
Hikaru never understood people, and he probably never would. But people understood him. Sometimes it seemed like figuring him was all too easy.
Once he had thought he needed only himself and someone like him. That only certain people had feelings that mattered and the world around him was dismal and and the people were just puppets of bone.
Thank you.
He had been proven wrong.
But then, the world had to be a cruel place in the end. Tamaki left and Haruhi stopped smiling. Even Kyouya seemed a bit more bitter. And of course, with the disappearance of their high, mighty king came the loss of guests.
Thanks a lot.
Kyouya had heard it said that you should be grateful for the time you have when you are happy. No matter how short, no matter how heartbroken you are when it ends, you should turn your eyes to the sky and thank the world for letting you have that one brief time. After all, that was more than some people had. Even if you only had a day. And God knows his few years was much, much more than the happiness many experienced. He also knew that things hadn't quite ended, he still had his time in school, the club still remained, but it was clear that something was missing from everything.
But even when a picture isn't complete, you should be grateful that you have it.
He had also heard that when you care about someone you ought to tell them before they're gone, or else they might never know. You should tell them before it's too late.
He disregarded both these things.
"You're feeling sad too, aren't you, Takashi?"
He nods from the ground below him and Honey swings his feet back and forth. "Me too. I'm sorry, Takashi."
"S'okay."
"No it isn't. You don't have to pretend to feel okay. You're not trying to, are you?"
"I dunno. Don't think so."
"Good." He pauses and looks out at the sky. "True strength is being yourself, you know."
Business is business and business is bad. Oh, it's not awful, no, it's not really that bad, but it's just not as good. A variable is missing from her equation and without the princely type things just aren't proper.
Renge's first order of business is to see if Kyouya or Haruhi can be trained to take his place, but Haruhi is too red in the face and Kyouya lets off the aura of a shark disguised as a dolphin. Mori doesn't talk enough. Honey is too young. She'd try to swap Hikaru over, but he's too rude, and Kaoru is too quiet, and if they get split up then half their charm disappears. Honestly, those two are joined at the hip. She's spoken to them when the other's not around, and it's the most insane experience she's ever had. They pause midway through their sentences and tell jokes that aren't funny.
When business is bad, though, nothing is that funny.
If there is fulfillment, then there is also unfulfillment. It is logic.
There is walking down the hall and seeing him smile more at her than you, even when he doesn't mean it. There is the feeling in your gut when your voice rises, exhilarating, and consuming, and a monster inside of you. There's the look on his face when you snap.
He takes everything you say to him like a knife to the back. He takes it all in stride, but his eyes cave in. And still, he smiles. He takes it all in smiles. You envy that.
There is something romantic about him, and you realize now that's all there is. He's nothing but a romantic story and a passing notion. You try to take the time to know him but underneath the charm is a child, a toddler even, perhaps even a loyal dog. He runs around for love and scratches under the chin, he wants his dessert, and he wants attention, and when you snap, he doesn't dare bark, he only whimpers.
For awhile, it is amusing. And then you begin to hate him. You can't look at him without seeing him as he is at other times. When he looks ready to cry, you think of his always present smile and begin to get irritated. When he laughs, you remember when he was near tears and want to scream. He's never the right mood for you. A ring that's the wrong color.
Get him out, you think, when he enters the room. Get me out.
Soon you can't stand him. You start pretending to be sick, and when that gets tedious, you actually sneak out of your home.
You've reeled him in, you tell yourself. If you don't want it, throw him back in the water.
You are unfulfilled.
You seethe.
You break things off because if you don't do it soon, you'll break him.