Author's Note: If there was one chapter I could NOT resist making PG-13, it would definitely be this one.

Lyre and Ranulf

GIFT

It was on the table behind the counter, and the clerk would not sell it to him. It was not because he was a laguz, nor was it because of the strange orange hat he wore, but it was because every time Ranulf purchased catnip, someone came in the next morning complaining about how sore they were, how ruined they were, how pregnant they were, or how homosexual they had just discovered themselves to be.

"Come on…" Ranulf said, "I swear it's a long term thing this time!"

"I'm sorry Ranulf but, you're a real ladies' man (and not just the ladies either), and I can't trust that you will know the person you're currently with and not just some random person."

"Fine," Ranulf said, "I'm never coming to this establishment again."

"What's wrong?" Lyre asked, upon seeing Ranulf come out.

"This store won't sell me catnip because I'm a slut," Ranulf came right out and said.

"Well that's just not fair!" Lyre shouted, "If that's the way it is, I'll go in and buy the catnip!" Lyre walked in the door.

"Hello," Lyre said. "My boyfriend and I wanted to buy some catnip, but apparently you didn't want to sell him one because he sleeps around."

"Oh, yes, Lyre," the clerk said, "This will make you very pleased." He handed her the catnip. "With you in control, I'm sure Ranulf won't give it to some random person."

Lyre purred and took the catnip from the clerk. She gave it to Ranulf and said, "There, catnip gotten. Let's go have some fun!" So they did.

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TALK

"Ranulf," Lyre said, "When was the last time we really talked?"

"Lyre," Ranulf began, "What do we need to talk about?"

"Ike and Soren, Titania and Rhys, Elincia and Geoffrey… They always talk! We can be more like them, Ranulf, I just know we can," Lyre mentioned.

"But talking is so much less fun than our relationship!" Ranulf whined. "Don't you like our amorous lifestyle?"

"I love it," Lyre said, "But I often feel as if there's something missing?"

"Like…salmon?" Ranulf asked.

"Meow!" Lyre moaned.

"Salmon are oily fish, you know, Lyre," Ranulf said, while taking out a hunk of salmon. "What do you say you rub it all over me and then lick it off?"

"So much for talking," Lyre pretended to complain. But she was as happy as ever.

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HARDSHIP

Skrimir had gotten into the mead again. Although Soren was safely out of range this time (thank heavens!), the lion still wanted to pounce on someone pretty and petite—Lyre was the victim. "Ranulf, help me!"

Ranulf chased after his daunting lion rival and pushed him into the dirt. "You monster!" he shouted. "Get off of her!"

"Ranulf!" Skrimir shouted, surprised. The azure cat regained his composure and pounced on Skrimir.

"I say," Kyza said, "You folks could attempt to keep it down!" He quickly drank the rest of his tea.

In an attempt to break up the cat and the lion, he ended up tangled in their midst. Lethe walked by, saying, "I don't even want to know."

Lyre blushed at these three men fighting for her. Lethe gave her a weird look and left.

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ARGUMENT

"Lethe stole my barrette!" Lyre shouted, "And you just let her do it!"

"She wasn't stealing it, Lyre," Ranulf mentioned, "She was just borrowing it because she lost hers. You could live to lend your sister a hair clip once in a while."

"You're too nice, Ranulf. Did you even ask my permission first?! No, of course not!"

"Was I supposed to?" was the naïve reply.

"Oh, Ranulf!" Lyre shouted and then she started to cry.

Ranulf went over to console his crying girlfriend. "It's okay, Lyre," Ranulf said, "At least you know the barrette is in good hands."

Lethe heard the crying and returned the barrette. "Fine," she hissed, "If you want it so much, just keep it."

"Oh, I don't need it," Lyre said.

Lethe emphatically growled while Ranulf shrugged at his fickle girlfriend.

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RELAXATION

Somehow, despite Lyre and Ranulf's impossible to quell libidos, the two of them managed to settle rather nicely. Lyre had a few children and of course Ranulf took care of them. But mostly their relationship revolved around fun. Though the days had long gone by since they were kitten-kids, they still both knew in their hearts that the kitten spirit is what everyone else needs.

Author's Note: Sorry. I got bored of writing this for a couple of days.