Bastian and Lucia

GIFT

The Crimean air was crisp and soft, as delicate rain fell on the blond bard's pensive head. Lucia had purchased a sword recently which did not do her beauty justice in his mind. He wanted nothing more than to replace her sword with one more valuable.

"I say," he said, "Dear Sir Daniel, can you craft a sword fair for the loveliest lady. It shall be lighter than a feather, sharper than a barely-too-high note, more deadly than the deadliest of poison, and more straight-attacking than Shinon, the sniper of the highlands of Crimea."

"Sure," Daniel responded, "But it'll cost you."

"Money is no object when it comes to Lady Lucia. I shall pay satchels, nay, bushels of gold…"

"That's really not necessary. I was talking more the 8000-10000 range…" Daniel said, instantly regretting taking a job from Bastian.

"But only so that it may shimmer with radiance comparable to her bewitching blue eyes, and her glimmering cerulean hair…" Bastian babbled on.

Daniel put his head down on table next to the urn. "And only so that she may be complemented by her beautiful gleaming blade."

"Shut up, Bastian."

"Because, if she takes her sword of silver she may also allow herself to be taken by this wise fool," Bastian claimed.

"TMI, Bastian, TMI," Daniel said.

"The more you know the better you feel, so let's study with every meal!" Bastian rhymed.

"Stop it," Daniel complained.

Twelve hours later, Lucia received her sword and said, "Bastian, thank you, but I really didn't need this."

"Oh, don't worry, my elegant duchess, I would gladly stand around listening to the blacksmith jabber on pointlessly for hours for you."

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TALK

"For the general of Crimea's top force, Geoffrey sure seems agitated," Lucia mentioned.

"As the fraternal relation of your divine elegance, he of course was able to chip off some of your tender heart; and therefore is feeling rightly out of luck."

"But Geoffrey is nothing like me!" Lucia argued, "He wouldn't be caught dead in a gambling house, he wouldn't be caught dead flirting with some person on the street, and he is definitely less secure than I am…"

"Maybe these differences are but a ruse set on by your desire to be seen as superior; but, fear not, dear Lucia, for clever Bastian would always prefer the bosom of the sister to the might of the brother."

"Bastian, that's what I like about you… everything is about sex… except sex."

"Indeed, for the natural cycle of reproduction is about mutual trust, about the fluidly changing politics of this world, and about the world as a whole."

"Bastian, you never fail to entertain," Lucia said, rolling her eyes.

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HARDSHIP

"Damn it!" Bastian shouted in an uncharacteristically blunt manner.

"What is it?" Lucia asked, surveying her husband's appearance.

"I dropped my tome of the blustery day down the well of the water world drink," he griped, more characteristically this time.

"Relax, Bastian," Lucia said, "I can get you a new tome."

"That tome had special sentimental value to me because Volke gave it to me! No replacement could be quite the same. I'm very sorry, milady. This must be dreadfully boring to someone as strong as you."

"Nonsense," Lucia said, "I'll just go buy you a new one and it will have other sentimental value… I know you're the only friend Volke has, but you do prefer me, don't you?"

"Of course!" laughed Bastian, reading the implications.

Lucia went over to Muston who simply shrugged when she walked up to him. In a gruff voice, he said, "You see, I sold my last wind tome to some other mage earlier today. I thought with Soren gone I'd only have to sell these to Bastian, so I didn't bother stocking higher on it. But I think Daniel can make you one special!"

Daniel said, "Oh, no, after the sword fiasco, I don't want to do business for this couple anymore…"

Jorge responded, "But it's just Lucia. You and I both know she isn't as annoying as Bastian."

"But the last thing I want is Bastian coming in tomorrow complaining about its quality… here, Jorge… YOU build it."

"But I'm no smith and you…" Jorge began, but before he could finish Daniel was far away.

"Daniel," Lucia said, totally ignoring Jorge's hair color, "I need you to make a wind tome!"

"SURE!" he remarked gleefully, beginning work on the tome. But when he was finished it was naught but a regular old wind tome.

"That'll be 8,000 gold," fake-Daniel said.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Lucia said, leaving without the tome. "Well, I'm sorry, Bastian but I can't seem to find it anywhere."

"Fear not, my dear, as it turns out, it was in this side pouch of mine this whole time!" Bastian shouted cheerfully. Lucia groaned.

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ARGUMENT

"It's undeniable."

"No, Bastian, you're just making it up," Lucia said calmly.

"It's undeniable there is a layer of green beneath your gorgeous white skin… I know you wanted the princess for yourself."

"I did not!" Lucia argued.

"It doesn't bother me at all that you did, I hope you realize. She was fair even to those who had their eyes set on others."

"Look, Bastian," Lucia sighed, "Elincia and I are friends… that's all…friends… You are the one I wanted."

"But not without hesitance," Bastian pointed out.

"The hero of Crimea didn't want her; what makes you think I did?"

"I think it's as attractive as the magnetic field of the earth," Bastian pointed out.

"Oh, you are SUCH a man," Lucia said.

"Thank you, although that revelation is somewhat out of place right now."

Lucia sighed again.

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RELAXATION

Hello? Oh, it's Count Bastian. I have used my cunning tricks to usurp the narrative position for this last vignette. Lucia was not only the most beautiful living goddess ever to walk the earth, but was comparable to the sun itself over a cobalt sea next to a shimmering beige beach… and now she would find sanctuary near my own body, and as such I am pleased.