Kieran and Marcia
GIFT
Kieran would not settle for a cheap trinket. He would fight for a true trophy.
"Don't worry, milady," He said, "I shall win you the greatest gift of all time!"
"Oh, I'm waiting for that, alright…"
"Step right up and fight BRUNO THE BRUTE!" shouted a man nearby. "The winner will receive this fantastic trophy!" The trophy gleamed in the sunlight.
"I will take your challenge!" Kieran shouted. Kieran fought on and Marcia winced in the corner. Kieran lost a lot of blood on the way down the road. Oscar walked by and Bruno cowered in fear. That was Kieran's motivation to continue.
"A-ha! You will not take my life, but I shall take yours!" Kieran shouted, charging once again headstrong into the brute.
Kieran would have resembled a pancake at this point, had this been a cheesy cartoon. But since this was a setting in which death was plausible and even somewhat likely, Kieran had fainted from repeated blows.
"KIERAN!" Marcia shrieked! She got into the fight herself and took out the brute in one fell swoop (granted of course that Kieran had attacked him until weak first.)
"Leave my gal alone!" shouted Kieran, getting up from the dirt. Once he realized the brute had been taken out he calmed down a little. He saw the man handing Marcia the trophy. Marcia then handed Kieran the trophy for being such a brave mate.
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TALK
"There's nothing I like more than badmouthing Oscar and Tanith!" Kieran said.
"I agree," Marcia said, "Seriously, why would someone as hot as Oscar go after someone as drab and dull as Tanith?"
"And why would someone as smart as Tanith fall for someone as stupid as Oscar?"
"And why would anyone want to eat Tanith's cooking?"
"And why would anyone want to look at Oscar's squinty face?"
Kieran and Marcia laughed along, knowing there was little left in this life which could amuse them more than their attacks from a safe distance.
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HARDSHIP
Kieran was riding through the forest alone, when he heard giggling coming from behind a tree. He saw Marcia talking and laughing with Gatrie and he got mad. He rode out in front saying, "Come, Nathaniel, you and I must best the next rival."
Gatrie said, "Huh?"
"Kieran, relax, Gatrie and I are just friends," Marcia mentioned.
"Oh? Then how come his hand is around your waist, huh?"
"Is it?" Gatrie said seductively.
"You get away from my woman, you evil cur! You are nowhere near good enough for her!"
"Hey! You sound just like Shinon to all the girlfriends I get! Except replace the word 'woman' with 'shield', replace the words 'evil cur' with 'stupid wench' and replace the word 'her' with 'him'."
"Get away, you blond barbarian! We of the Crimean knights will surely stop you from defiling this maiden!"
"Kieran, RELAX!" Marcia demanded, eyes rolling.
"Oscar was only half my enemy, and the other half is right here! Die, you stupid lancer!"
Kieran hopped off of Nathaniel and took his axe to Gatrie who continually blocked every attack with a shield.
"Goddess, Kieran, can't you just attack all my friends who happen to be male!"
"But they are rivals!" Kieran mentioned.
Rolf came from a meadow behind Kieran's mount. "Hey, Marcia! I just found a really big squirrel! You want to see it!"
"So, even Oscar's accursed kin wants to spend time with Marcia!" Kieran said.
"Kieran, he's twelve…" Marcia said, slapping her forehead.
"Still old enough to have a libido, in my opinion!" shouted Kieran as he chased after Rolf.
Marcia looked back at Gatrie and said, "So back to our discussion about Ilyana's eating habits."
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ARGUMENT
"Oscar is quite clearly the worst paladin alive!" Kieran said, "He exists only to get under my skin."
"No, Kieran… Oscar's a fine paladin. Now Makalov…"
"Makalov is only an annoying paladin because he never pays you after you have a bet with him."
"And how much money does he owe you now?"
"7,000,000 gold, but that's beside the point. At least he would never try to make you feel foolish on the field of battle!"
"Feeling foolish on the field of battle in comparison to Oscar means that Oscar must be a fine paladin, and that you're just jealous of him."
"Jealous? ME? Never, I say, never! I am the greatest Crimean knight of all."
"Whatever you say, Kieran."
"Were you not my lady, I would take offense to that remark!"
"You're so funny, Kieran."
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RELAXATION
Kieran couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something he knew he had greater than Oscar. Perhaps it was the fact that his girlfriend had a personable reputation. Or maybe it was his vision. Whatever it could be, Kieran would make sure to let Oscar know who was the best. And Marcia was always amused by his attempts to.
Author's note: In case you didn't get it, Bruno cowering in fear after Oscar showed up was an inside-reference to Stories from the Fort: Boyd's Story. Also, am I the only one who would think Marcia would sound good voiced by Jenny Douillard (the original Amy Rose) or that Tom Lehrer would be a good singing voice for Kieran when applicable?
I love writing dialogue for Kieran and Bastian…