Astrid and Makalov

Author's Note: Makalov is one of those characters that I like to write and read about but I wouldn't like him if I were seeking a mate. Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with Astrid.

GIFT

Makalov had never been that good at saving, but when it came to Astrid, he was never afraid to scrape and save. So he had resisted gambling for several weeks when suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a goose came up and stole his satchel of money.

"Come back, you feather-brained mongrel!" he shouted (he was related to Marcia after all), and ran after the goose. The goose jumped over a branch which hit Makalov in the face.

"That money!" Makalov complained, "That was for Astrid's birthday present."

"Makalov!" Astrid said, behind him, "What did you say about my birthday present?" She was so excited, she simply had to know.

"Uhh… nothing!" he lied as he chased after the goose, "Stupid money-swindling bird."

Astrid heard the insult and unfortunately assumed it was directed at her. She began to cry and rode back into the stable. "Come along, Wenceslaus."

When Makalov finally caught up with the goose it had flown up and put the satchel of money in the top of a tree. The goose went into the pond when Makalov slipped over a rock, fell face-down in the pond, and the goose got up and crapped on his head. "Oh, no," he said. He got up, filthy, and covered in bird poop and pond water complete with lily pads, and started to climb the tree.

"Get down, you gold-eating goose!" Makalov yelled. The goose eventually found himself by Wenceslaus, who neighed loudly.

Puffy-eyed, Astrid walked over to where the goose was. "What is this you have?" she asked curiously, putting a cautious hand into the bird's beak, calming it so it wouldn't snap. She pulled out the satchel of money and then realized what Makalov was trying to say.

Makalov, messy, finally caught up with the goose only to realize that Astrid had gotten the money back. "Makalov!" the brunette hummed, "I found this goose with a satchel of money. Is it yours?"

"Yes…" Makalov responded, "Thank you for finding it."

"Is that… what you wanted to say about my birthday present? Oh, Makalov…" Astrid was no longer sad.

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TALK

"Why does Marcia patronize you?" Astrid asked.

"WHY does Marcia patronize ME? WHY does MARCIA patronize me? Hahahahahaha! No offense, dear, but I've never heard a more absurd question! I'm a lout, that's why!"

"But maybe you're not… maybe the only reason you think you are, is because she's patronizing you…"

"No," Makalov mentioned. "It's because I can't pay my bills on time, I always get into debt, and I never ever remember to pay anyone back for it."

"It can't be helped that you're poor," was Astrid's sympathetic reply.

"Yes it can!" Makalov replied, "Or at least it could if I weren't a lout."

"You aren't a lout to me…" Astrid said sweetly, locking her fingers in with Makalov's. He was a lout, but that didn't matter to her. To her, he was just a misplaced gentleman.

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HARDSHIP

Snake eyes read the wooden dice on the table. "No," Makalov said, "Just one more go around…" he pleaded.

"Makalov," Astrid said, "I thought the goal was to obtain money, not to lose it!"

"It is, Astrid," was the tentative reply. "Of course I think that way. That's why I need another go around… just to break even… you and I both realize that more gambling is the only option right?"

"I'm just a bit concerned… what if one of those debt collectors comes back to attack you?" Astrid asked worriedly.

Suddenly someone rushed into the gambling casino, but it wasn't a debt collector. It was Astrid's abandoned fiancé. "Oh no! Rupert!" she shouted.

"Astrid! You abandoned me so! How could you?!" Rupert asked.

"I did it for love!" Astrid responded.

"You love… him?" Rupert said, pointing at Makalov.

"Yes, she does!" the deadbeat responded looking with his best scary face at Rupert.

Rupert said, "You and I will go out back, and I will kill you."

"Yeah right, old man!" Makalov responded, "I bet your back will break in the process."

Rupert then proceeded to show that even a fifty-something could fight, by tossing Makalov at the walls. Makalov went home that night black and blue, but he didn't care. Rupert had won the battle, but had lost the war.

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ARGUMENT

Makalov came to Astrid's stable with a lance wound in his side. "Oh, goodness, what has happened?" she asked.

"Marcia and I had an argument again… she told me that no one would ever love me. Then I decided to mention you, and Marcia said…" Makalov recounted. He then began talking in a high-pitched voice, " 'Astrid doesn't count because she has no taste in men.' Not to be vain, but I felt that I had to defend you. That's when things got really violent…"

"I have never had such an argument with any of my siblings…" Astrid muttered, "And I'm sure that's for the best."

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RELAXATION

Makalov would often in sleep have dreams of winning a lottery. Astrid would sometimes be awakened by these dreams, but it didn't disturb her any. She was happy. She was happy to be married to a man whom she loved, and he was happy that someone loved him for the deadbeat that he was.