Oscar and Tanith

GIFT

Oscar never meant to be an overachiever. He just kind of turned out that way. The first thing he had in mind was the happiness of others. So when he planned an elaborate dinner for his date, he was just doing what came naturally to him. And when he found a bouquet of flowers for his date, he was just doing what came naturally to him. And when he broke open a rock and found an onyx and opal inside to make two necklaces—one for his date, and one for her friend—he was just doing what came naturally to him.

What came naturally to Tanith was to think something was up. Something was up. She had fallen in love with a perfectionist. Being in love with a perfectionist was something she had to get used to over the years. Whenever she made dinner for him, the kitchen caught on fire. When she purchased a bouquet of flowers for him, he was always immediately gracious, but he was also always quick to sneeze. And so what if the most precious thing she ever found inside a rock was a smaller rock? She was also just doing what came naturally to her.

Oscar assured her that everything was going to be fine. "It doesn't matter, Tanith. You have things that I will never have." Tanith felt like this was a lie, but that didn't matter to her. Even if it were a lie, it was a lie to preserve her feelings.

-----

TALK

"Did you see Kieran the other day, milady?"

"Oh yes, he always makes a fool of himself," Tanith said, "I'm not sure how he could compare himself to you, when you are quite clearly superior to him!"

"I don't like to think of myself that way, but honestly, I don't know how to avoid it when he always makes it just so easy."

"Babbling about nothing, fighting against people who are in no mood to fight, getting mad at you for complimenting him…"

"Even when I insult him he makes a fool of himself. Although to be fair, he does notice that what I said was amiss, he just is easily misled in the other direction."

"What a silly man…" Tanith said, "He's just jealous."

"Well yeah, that goes without saying. I just wish he wouldn't push himself so hard."

"I agree, Oscar," Tanith said, "Although he and Marcia are quite clearly a perfect match."

-------------

HARDSHIP

"The soufflé!" Oscar shouted.

"What soufflé?" Tanith asked, "You mean that casserole?"

"It didn't rise!"

"Well, here's the problem. I was in the kitchen. I ruin any and all food I'm near."

"No, Tanith," Oscar said, putting his arms around the dejected brunette. "It wasn't your fault…"

"Of course it was!" Tanith mentioned, crying, "That's why they call me the Lethal Chef. I ruin every dish I make, and everyone gets sick from eating it."

"Tanith, you're overreacting. I made the soufflé, remember? Even if what you were saying was true, it wouldn't apply here."

"But you're so damn perfect, how could you possibly make a mistake like that?"

Oscar said with a hint of obviousness in his voice, "Because soufflés are easy to ruin?"

"Soufflés are only easy to ruin for people who aren't perfect!" Tanith shouted.

Oscar said (and this was true, as he truly believed this), "I am NOT perfect. No matter what Boyd thinks, or what Kieran is trying to compensate for, I make mistakes just as often as everyone else."

"Name three mistakes you've made in the last month," Tanith challenged.

"Well there's the soufflé, and then there's… uh… failing at cheering you up, and… OH! Two weeks ago Boyd asked for pot roast with homegrown potatoes and I forgot to cut his meat."

"Oh, now you're just rubbing it in," Tanith said.

"I am not," Oscar argued, "You're just taking it that way. Why can't you just admit you have talents?"

"I suppose it's because I'm insecure that I always make a big scene to my subordinates. But to be fair, I've never seen you lash out at anyone…"

"Exactly," Oscar mentioned, "Discipline has never been my strong suit."

------------

ARGUMENT

"I saw you let Boyd off the hook for attempting to strangle Rolf," Tanith pointed out, "I really expected better from you."

"Boyd wasn't really attempting to strangle Rolf," Oscar said, "I made that distinction long ago. That was his cry for attention."

"But aren't you worried what Rolf will take from you not protecting him in that case?"

"I do protect him," Oscar answered, "I just don't punish Boyd. Boyd is a grown man now, and he should be able to take care of himself."

"But you don't make that clear to him," Tanith yelled, "And now he has a wife to take care of too."

"More like she's going to take care of him. Even though she's five years his junior, she's still much more mature than he is."

"Well that's your fault," Tanith argued, "You have to tell him to grow up."

"I try that," Oscar responded, "But it generally doesn't work, and that's the major problem."

"Well then you have to obtain a spine," Tanith shouted.

"But I have one. The issue is that Boyd doesn't listen to me even when I yell."

"Have you tried yelling?" Tanith asked.

"Well yes, but it didn't work."

"Did you sound angry?"

"I never sound angry."

"Well there's your problem," Tanith said, "Now listen closely. NO ONE ON THE TROOP GETS TO GO HOME UNTIL I GET A FULL SET OF PUSH-UPS!"

"Goodness gracious, Tanith, that's frightening!"

"That's the point, you big pansy…" Tanith said, "Now yell."

"WHO WAS IT WHO STOLE THE LAST MACAROON?"

"You're getting the hang of it…" Tanith said, smiling.

Boyd walked up to Oscar and tattled, "It was Rolf! I swear it! Don't kill me!"

"Boyd, there is no last macaroon. The last time I baked macaroons was three months ago."

"Oh," Boyd said, "You were kidding. Ha-ha. I knew that. Uh… so was I…"

Tanith smirked and Oscar sighed.

--------

RELAXATION

Tanith and Oscar were the type not to commit before they knew for sure it was for life. But even after it became clear to everyone that they wouldn't leave each other, they still didn't marry. Perhaps it was improper for them to behave the way they did, but neither of them had a problem with it, no matter what happened.