"Can I come in?" Jane had her head pocked in Maura's room. Maura going through some dresses and barley turned to nod before retuning her attention back to the two dresses in her hands.
" it's been a long time since I wore these, I was wondering which one to were for Sunday dinner" Maura didn't take her eyes off the dresses as she talked and Jane walked slowly and sat at the head of the bed .
"The red one is nice" Jane tried with casual tone.
"Yeah, I was going to go with it anyway" Maura sat the other dress down and started to study the dress in her hand
"Maura, are you mad at me?" Jane's tone was filled with guilt, sadness. Maura froze for a second before shaking her head softly
"No I'm not mad at you." Her voice was just a above a whisper " I'm just a little upset that's all" Maura turned to face Jane after she returned the dress to its place " ever since I got here you keep acting like am going to brake at any second, that I'm too fragile to do anything . It wouldn't kill me to do the dishes Jane" Jane looked a bit confused
"You wanted to do the dishes?"
"That's not the point Jane!" Maura sighed and screeched her forehead looking for a way to say this without hurting Jane "I want things to go back to normal, I want my life back, I want you back. I know… I know I'm not a hundred present but I don't need a nurse and I don't want a shrink I just want my best friend" Jane was looking at her hands in her lap and didn't see the way Maura's eyes filled with unshed tears " I want to put these things behind us. Today when we were fighting over the remote I felt happy, I felt so happy. It was the first time I felt normal again in a long time and I... I thought that…" Maura took a breath trying to clam herself "I thought that we finally started to act normal again and that it was over but then you kept looking at me like that. I can't… I can't stand it when you looking at me like that. I want to forget, I want to move on but you`re not making it any easier for me. You apologies to me all the time Jane"
"Mm sorry" Jane mumbled still not meeting Maura's gaze, Maura let out a snort between her tears
"Yeah. You keep saying that" Maura started wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Jane`s face was filled with sorrow"Jane what happened wasn't your fault its paddy's fault and my decision, you had nothing to do with it"
"I let you down" Jane mumbled. "You're my best friend and I couldn't do anything to help, I almost got you killed because I was too selfish to understand that it was dangerous to bring you here" Jane's breathe hutched
"I want things to go back to normal Maura, but I think you blame me too and your right I..."
"Jane I don't blame you…." Maura started with a reassuring tone but was cut off by Jane
"Oh really? Maura you wouldn't even tell me what happened in there and every time I would ask you, you would give me a short answer as if it wasn't important or …" Jane was on the verge of tears now
"I don't talk about it because of you!" Jane raised her head sharply to Maura. "Gad" Maura brought her hand to cover her eyes hoping that it would stop the sting she felt. " I haven't told you most of it and you already act the way you do, " Maura took a seat next to Jane on the bed " I remember you there, I remember the day paddy found me but there is still a gab in my mind "
Maura took a breath trying hard not to cry again while Jane remained silent waiting for her to talk "when the doctor did a blood test it came back positive, there was a cocktailed of drugs running through my blood stream." Maura looked at her hands that were trampling in her lap "the drugs were in my system for so long that their withdraw was, still is the worst part of it all. That's why I don't take the medicine that my doctor describe .You don't know how many days I've spent crying, screaming in pain. I cried till there were no tears anymore. All my years of study would tell me that that was impassible but when I was there I finally knew it was true .When I close my eyes I see flashes of them, when I sleep it gets worst because I can`t make it stop." Maura sighed and looked at Jane next to her
"I don't want to talk about this anymore, I `m tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of feeling like this. Jane pleases, I f you love me …. Don't look at me like that and- and I promise that I will stop acting like a jerk. Deal?" Maura offered a hand to Jane.
"Deal" Jane attempted a weak smile as she shook Maura's hand and Maura replied with a matching one. They both sat on the bed quietly in silent for a few minutes before Jane broke the silent "you know we`ll have to go treasure hunting for that remote right?" Maura started chuckling
"Nooo" Maura whined as she lower her head to her hands
"Yeees" Jane mimicked before getting up and reaching out for Maura's hands "come on before the remote end up in a hole in one of your plants… thingy" Maura raise her head sharply with a realization
"My orchid!"
" oh yes, we wouldn't want for your orchid that a serial killer gave you before he tried to kill you to get crushed by Jo" Jane tried her best series face and Maura made a face before walking out of the room fallowed by a giggling Jane .
"Did you know that the name orchid the name comes from the Ancient Greek órkhis literally meaning testicle?" Jane tried to contain laughter as they both looked through the house
"He gave you a flower named testicle?" Jane raise her eyebrows, Maura nodded "well, I suppose I can understand why he would give it, don't you?" Jane teased and Maura looked up with confused eyes, Jane started wiggling her brows and Maura burst into laughter before nodding in agreement
