hi there ! it`s me again! great news you guys! i finally got a beta! many thanks to stlouis.7936 for offering to be this story`s beta. i hope you enjoy this chapter and as always reviews are more than welcomed ;)

Maura didn't need to raise her head to know that Jane was still staring at her. She knew Jane meant well, but she still couldn't stand it. It brought too many memories.

"Go check on the lasagna" Maura said with a steady voice but Jane could feel the cold seeping in again, her walls were being raised once again.

"Maura." Jane pleaded.

"Please," Maura breathed out "check on the lasagna." turning her head away from Jane, she felt the couch shift as Jane got up quietly without arguing. Hearing the sound of Jane`s footsteps fading, she finally let out a relieved sigh and started massaging her thigh.

Maura never was a whiny kid, even as a child she couldn't understand why the other kids kept crying on about silly things, or why they would make a big deal out of something just for attention. She thought it was pathetic. She didn't want her parent's attention because she had a boo boo that needed to be kissed. She used the attention she got to show them accomplishments she was proud of. It got harder and harder for her to impress them as the years went by, but she kept going , pushing herself to the limit, just so she could see the look of pure joy and pride in their eyes .

Now to have Jane watch her every movement, notice every wince, she couldn't help the feelings of shame and failure. Seeing that look of guilt in Jane`s eyes only made it worse. She hated being stared at! She hated feeling like a prey, and she especially hated that he had made her his prey.

Truth be told, Jane wasn't the problem. Jane was never the problem, it was her. Why couldn't she get what happened out of her head? Why was it that every time she felt someone's gaze the fine hairs on her neck stood up? Why did she feel like she never even left that room, that he was still staring at her, looming over her with a smirk while she curled further on herself, trying desperately to stop the tremors in her limbs.


"What are you doing?" Jane said as she stepped into the living room. She had taken her sweet time in the kitchen, giving Maura the privacy she asked for, keeping her eyes anywhere except the couch even when she heard her moving around. The doctor was upside down on the couch, her head hanging down, blond hair pooling on the floor, knees flexed so that her feet were dangling on the other side of the couch and her hands were lace together on her abdomen.

"Trying to see things from a different angle." Maura replied with her eyes still closed. Jane let out a snort and took a seat next to her friend.

"You know that they don't mean that literally right?" Maura chose to ignore Jane`s comment.

"Sooo…. What's on your mind?" Jane finally said after getting tired of picking on some loose threads from the couch.

"Lots of things." Maura mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Like what things?" Jane coaxed. Maura sighed and opened her eyes.

"Tomorrow is Sunday." Maura said simply, staring ahead not looking at Jane.

"Um ok?"

"I have nothing to wear, I can't buy anything to wear because I'm still dead." she stated.

"Well, the being dead thing can be solved with your lawyer, you know that. What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Have you seen your closet?! What about that dress, the red one?" Jane suggested softly.

" I can't wear that Jane." Maura said, lowering her legs and sitting up on the couch.

"Why not?"

"Jane, be real...Remember how you reacted when you saw my back?"

"Oh" Jane said, finally realizing where the problem lay.

"Yeah. You`re a homicide detective, you see terrible things every day. I mean, what would your mother say , your brothers . I`m nervous as it is about being in the same room with them again, now I have to worry about them feeling bad about me as well." Maura lowered her head to study her hands in her lap.

"First of all, you can wear a yoga pants and a t-shirt without anyone saying anything because you`ll still look like you, secondly why are you nervous?" Jane tried to reason. "What if they don't like me?" Maura raised her eyes, Jane could see the hint of fear of rejection in her eyes

"What are you talking about? They love you Maura!"

"That's just it." Maura extended her arm, retrieving a framed photo that was placed on the small table next to the couch. "They love Maura." she repeated quietly, "They loved her, not me." she said again, her voice fading as she shrugged and placed the frame back in it's place.

"Come on Maura, don't be like that." Jane said gently.

"What? It's true." Maura said raising her shoulders.

Jane opened her mouth to tell her that she was wrong when they both heard the sound of keys being inserted into the lock.


Maura`s gaze shifted from Jane to the door and back again with a confused look, almost panicking. This house had become Maura`s safety bubble. A place where she won't have to face the outside. Just her and Jane. Safe.

The feeling of safety was broken too many times; she couldn't understand how she kept placing faith in this house over and over again. she should have known better.

Jane shot up from the couch grabbing her gun quickly before going to point it at the door. The door opened to a happy Angela who jumped back with fright when she saw the gun pointed in her face.

"Jesus Christ Jane! You scared me." the older woman said placing a hand on her heart.

Jane exhaled loudly. "Damn it ma." Jane said lowering her gun "I specifically told you not to come here before I call."

"What? I just missed you guys and I wanted to see Maura. Do you know how hard it was for me not to be here the second I know that she was back? That she was alive?!" Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, her mother`s voice was loud and it only seemed so much louder and more annoying with the lack of sleep.

"Couldn't this have waited till tomorrow?" Jane whined Angela opened her mouth to scold her daughter when she saw a figure slowly standing up out of the corner of her eye.


Maura felt her heart rate quicken when she saw who their unexpected guest was. She was frozen in place for a few seconds, watching the exchange between mother and daughter. Words were mixing all together and she couldn't make out anything of what was said. She finally screwed up the courage and stood up slowly on wobbly feet. Swallowing hard, her throat kept contracting further, almost making it hard to breath.

"Angela." She meant to call for the older Rizzoli, but her voice came out as a whisper. She wanted to walk to the door to welcome her but no matter how hard she tried, her body refused to obey her commands.

Angela's face went blank for a couple of moments, which made Maura more nervous. It didn't take very long before the older woman`s face broke with into a joyful smile and her eyes filled with tears. Angela placed her hand on her mouth when a sob threatened to break free. A whimper made out of her throat before she raised both her arms preparing for a hug.

Maura stood there with a stupid smile on her face, her own eyes started to fill but licked her lips trying to compose herself and form a word. The next thing she knew she was engulfed in a tight mama bear hug that only Angela Rizzoli could deliver. She didn't even have time to react when Angela pulled away enough to grab Maura`s face between her palms and place kisses all over Maura`s face. A surprised 'oh' was all Maura could utter before Angela turned from kissing her to hugging her again.

Maura`s watery eyes made it to Jane`s who had a proud smile on her face. Maura smiled back at her before she hugged Angela tighter.

"Sweetie" Angela began as she finally pulled away from Maura, still keeping her at arm's length.

"What happened? Why are you so thin? I know that it was a bad idea letting Jane takes care of you. She can't cook a proper meal if her life depended on it."

Jane stomped her foot with frustration "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Well it's true!" Angela countered and Maura giggled. Jane threw her hands up in defeat, finally giving up on convincing anyone otherwise.


Jane felt herself smile as she watched Maura giggle with her mother on the couch. Angela was telling Maura all about little TJ, showing her endless photos of him in her phone. With each photo, a new story started which Angela happily told with enthusiasm. Maura seemed relaxed in her pose, happy even, and that made Jane smile all the more. Her mother may not realize it, but it seemed that she was all Maura needed get things off her mind.

Jane couldn't help feeling jealous though. It was weird, feeling jealous of her mother was something she never experienced before but she quickly brushed it off. She remembered the first time she was reunited with Maura. How cold and distant she had been. She didn't even smile! Maura was scared that she wouldn't be her past self, but seeing she now with her mother, Jane was certain that the Maura she once knew was still in there. Beneath that tortured soul Jane was determined to do everything in her power to help her friend get back on her feet, no matter how long it took.

Jane couldn't help loving her mother even more for the way she acted around Maura. Jane wasn't sure if her mother didn't notice, or simply ignored the changes in Maura. She wasn't walking on egg shells either and so far, all their conversations were about their loved ones, nothing about Maura`s death, return or where she have been all this time. From the way their interaction was going, Jane knew they would be just fine, that Maura's fear of rejection would soon fade away.


Maura managed to ignore the distress signals her body kept sending every time Angela would graze her with a touch, or place her hand on Maura`s upper arm. She kept reminding her brain that the hand felt different, it was feminine, gentle and most importantly this hand was not meant to hurt her.

She forced herself to keep on smiling, even when her fight or flight mode was activated. Which was a lot? Her face actually started to feel sore from smiling so much, but she didn't have the heart to stop it and then alerting the older woman that something was wrong. Angela was so passionate about her family that Maura couldn't help but be excited for her as well.

Although Maura tried to hide it, Jane could see that she was at her limit. Maura hadn't been near a lot of people in a while, and trying to act normal was taking its toll. Jane finally convinced her mother that she would be taking a relaxing bath and unpacking since she had stayed glued to Maura`s side for more than four hours. After the promise of a meal together, Angela left the main house making her way to the guest house, followed by Jane who closed the door behind her.

Jane came back to see that Maura had stood up from her place on the couch and started stretching. Jane placed a hand on Maura`s shoulder without thinking. Maura almost jumped out of her skin with surprise. Jane held up her hands in an apology.

Since Maura's return, Jane knew better than to touch her without Maura seeing it coming. Maura would always flinch if the touch was not expected. But Jane saw Maura interact with her mother so she thought that she might want to give it a chance.

Maura cursed herself when she saw the look of disappointment in Jane's eyes. She had finally let her guard down when Angela left, so she didn't feel the need to restrain her body's reaction, but now that she saw Jane's eyes she wished that she hadn't.

"You ok?" Jane said softly.

"Yeah, sorry I'm just..." Maura trailed off, trying to find the right words as she rubbed her forehead.

"Exhausted?" Jane asked.

"Overwhelmed." Maura corrected. "Just think that was one person. What am I going to do when the whole Rizzoli clan come by?" Maura let out a nervous laugh.

"That's expected." Jane shrugged "We`ll just take it one step at a time and see how it goes. If by the end of the day you still feel like you`re still not up to it, we`ll just call them and tell them to come some other time ok?" Maura nodded in agreement.

"One step at a time." Jane repeated gently.