Caught In Your Own Doubt
Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Unwillingly, he pulled himself up from the damp, cold dirt as he locked eyes with a shaggy haired blond; eyes cold and lips pursed tensely.
"Derrick." He hissed as he made no effort to walk past him without a few final statements.
"Cam." Derrick said.
"Go to hell." Cam snapped as he tersely brushed past that—that murderer!
"And visit you? I think not." Derrick retorted, his eyes dark and unreadable.
Cam stopped in his tracks, ignoring the seeping water going through his shoes as he slowly and dramatically turned to lock eyes with the Devil.
"I didn't kill her, Derrick." He replied tightly as he turned back away and walked back to the only place that seemed to make him happy.
He found himself tensely staring at the picnic table that she seemed to favor.
He never had been able to understand why she liked to perch upon it so much—but that's just one reason why Cam had been so smitten with her; she was a mystery to him: A mystery he wanted to solve… but that's not going to happen, now is it? He bitterly laughed.
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am?"
He stared at the table for uncountable moments. He clutched his cell-phone, as if clinging to it for life; to supply all his memories, to keep him together, to feel closer to her.
Ignoring the pitying looks he got from random strangers, he sat down on the table; almost feeling Massie's warmth. Almost practically picturing her silky auburn hair that would shine beautifully under the sun's hands. He could even smell the distinct smell of her one of a kind made—strawberry unnamed designer conditioner. He remembered darkly the way he'd unintentionally find himself smelling her hair and kissing her head tenderly. He even could picture her amber eyes staring at him through that fickle image he had conjured up, her eyes once again glowing and sparkling—even without the sun's assistance.
Cam's Massie was now staring right back at him.
Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you
"Cam, you know we can still…" She trailed off suggestively. "I'll be here, if you feel lonely." He didn't miss the pun line at all. The redhead winked and sauntered off, swaying her hips a little too exaggerated to be sexy or alluring.
Massie…
'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
"Cam—get over it! You're masochistic and you don't even see yourself being, as such!" She exclaimed, her brown doe-like eyes large and powerful. "She's gone and you gotta accept that and move on! She'd want that!" The Spanish beauty pleaded. But Cam didn't retaliate.
He just sat on the picnic table with a sad smile on his mouth. It was close to a grimace.
"You don't understand," Cam began, his voice scarily calm. "And you never will—because you still have Josh. The boy you obviously love."
And with that, he rolled to his side on the picnic table and crunched up into a small fetal positioned ball. An obvious dismissal for Alicia.
Alicia sighed in a aw-poor-little-thing. Cam just internally rolled his eyes and clutched his chest.
Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go
A voice cleared there throat, "Excuse me, son." A voice with obvious authority rang. Cam didn't budge though, his eyes closed, his lids picturing the Amber-eyed brunette.
"You can't stay here, boy." The man said quietly.
Cam rolled a little towards the policeman with a fierce and intense look coloring his pale face. "I'm sorry, sir, but I have no choice to be here."
The policeman's eyes widened in alarm as he abruptly checked around him for danger to be lurking. But there was none and obviously he didn't understand.
"No, sir, there's not danger. I have to wait here though." He shortly explained.
"Huh?"
"Yeah. Sorry; she'll be here soon. She'll come back." Cam replied. The police quietly looked down and recognized Cam to be the boy who lost his temper at some girl's funeral.
"Cam Fisher?" His voice was distant.
"Yes, sir?"
"Stay here all you want, son. I understand." But it was evident he truly didn't understand…
'cause If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving
"Cam, honey. Please get up and come home. I can't keep bringing you your meals to the park everyday when you're lying on the picnic table!" Alison Fisher encouraged. It wasn't a demand though, and Cam saw it.
"Sorry, Mom. But she'll come back for me. I know it." His voice was so sure, Alison's eyes watered a little at her son's lack of genuine acceptance.
"Call me if you need any more food," she noted as she placed down Cam's dinner.
"'Kay Mom. Thanks. Love you." He whispered back as he hung onto the picnic table where Alison had subtly laid blankets over.
People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
"Did you hear that he hasn't moved from that dumb picnic table for weeks now?" Kristen Gregory gossiped as she lightly tucked a blond stray hair away behind her ear. "He must smell horrible." She shallowly muttered.
"You're such a blond." Alicia snapped as she marched off.
"What did I do?" Kristen asked, her aqua eyes big and bewildered.
"Nothing, nothing at all." Dylan assured as she too, stared at Alicia's figure as she sauntered off with anger.
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'cause you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
"Get off the table." He commanded, his eyes impatient and not really attempting to understand. Cam didn't know what to do. He liked the safety and sure feeling he felt as he laid thoughtfully and silently on the picnic table; she too had been sitting on. Happy, or sad—she was there. Somehow. Somewhere.
"No." He sternly snapped.
Chris Plovert's eyes lowered to Cams many photos of Massie and his eyes widened with a new an even better idea.
"What if you and I, make and press posters of 'where is Massie Rose Block' all over Westchester, with photos of her?" His eyes were bright and hopeful; patient.
"Okay." Cam agreed as he deserted his stuff—knowing he'd be back—to go out and search for her.
Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Even though they worked all day, side-by-side, posting posters of the brunette, no one claimed to see her—for they didn't want to encourage Cam's denial.
Feeling depressed and no longer feeling that spark of tiny hope, he crawled back to the picnic table with a forlorn look of displeasure as he wrapped himself in a blanket as he inhaled the cherry oak picnic table; calling Massie closer with his heart.
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Author's Note: I couldn't resist! I had to write more to this story; and this song was just perfect for this chapter I had believed. Do me a favor and give me ideas what you want to happen next? Pairings? Anything?
Review and I'll listen. (=
-J.H.Q.S.316
