Chapter 12: Scattered Memories
Gabriel sat nervously on the couch in the Singer house. Michael was talking quietly about him with the older human. Castiel was standing next to a slightly younger human, close enough to touch and judging by the looks they kept shoot each other, were having a silent conversation that only they could hear. Then on the far side of the room, as far away from him as they could get, were Sam and Lucifer. He risked a glance at them and realized that they were both glaring at him. He nervously ran his nail along the inside of his wrist feeling the bite of pain.
"Stop that Gabriel." Michael snapped.
Gabriel flushed and ducked his head; he should have known that Michael was watching. "Sorry." He muttered, reaching for the tea he had been given.
Gabriel downed his mostly cold tea, a bit surprised to taste the holy water in it. He frowned and glanced at the cup before setting it aside. He wasn't sure why his brothers and Sam were treating him so strangely. Sure he was having some problems but he was still himself. At least he thought he was still himself. He'd have to talk to his brothers about it. Looking up he gave Sam and Lucifer a smile only to have both of them glare at him and he felt his heart sink.
"This was a mistake." Gabriel whispered to himself.
"Gabriel?" Michael called out. "What's wrong?"
Gabriel stood and headed toward the door. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have-"
"How long have you been back?" Sam asked coldly.
Gabriel turned to look at him. "What?"
"How long have you been back Gabriel?" Sam asked coldly.
The youngest archangel frowned. "I've been back a while but there's-"
"So what? You came back and decided 'Oh let see how long we can make Sam suffer for?'" Sam asked angrily.
Gabriel shook his head. "Sam it's not like that. There are things that-"
"Can it you feathered asshole." The young man next to Castiel snapped. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't give you a beat down."
Gabriel glared. "Maybe because I don't know you."
The guy let out a huff. "Look it's time to stop channeling your Trickster side and start channeling the angel side. This a low blow even for you Gabe."
Gabriel let out a sigh and ran a hand through his shorter hair. "Okay. I need you to listen to me me okay, Big Boy? I. Don't. Know. YOU! How much clearer can I make that?"
Lucifer sat up straighter at that. "Gabriel...Who is standing next to Michael?"
"I don't know." Gabriel said as he turned to look at the two before turning back to Lucifer, his expression a bit lost. "I'm supposed to know him aren't I?"
"Alright, let try again." Lucifer said, his expression darkening. "My last vessel that you remember. Describe him."
"Black hair. Tall and lean. He had green eyes." The archangel said without hesitation.
"And Michael?"
"Dark brown hair. He was a bit on the buff side and had blue eyes. He favored blue eyes." Gabriel said glancing at the First Born. "Something that I see hasn't changed."
"What is the last thing you can remember?" Michael asked, watching his younger brother carefully. "The last clear memory."
The blonde frowned. "I was fighting. I remember fighting and it felt wrong. I felt wrong. I got hurt and I remember activating the the spell but I realized too late that something was wrong. Something was interfering with it. That's what took so long."
"Spell?" Michael asked. "What spell?"
"His spell of resurrection." Castiel said. "Gabriel told me about it in case the worst should happen. He said it was an old spell. The same one he used after the hotel after Lucifer ended him."
Gabriel's expression was pained, and he looked more like a child that didn't understand why he wasn't loved, as he turned to Lucifer. "You killed me?"
Lucifer looked away. "I'm sorry Gabby."
"Don't call me that!" Gabriel snapped before he stumbled, putting a hand to his head. "Not again...Not now..."
"Gabe?" Sam called watching his struggle.
"It hurts." Gabriel whimpered, dropping to his knees.
Sam, despite how angry he was, came forward and wrapped his arms around the archangel. "What hurts? What's wrong?"
Gabriel suddenly looked up his eyes locking with Sam's and they shifted the gold reappearing in them. "Sam? Sam how did I get here? Where's-" Gabriel shook his head and blinked the gold faded out and became more hazel once more.
"Gabriel?" Sam asked, confused.
"Yeah?" The angel seemed just a confused.
"Lucifer!" Sam said turning to the Devil. "His eyes. They keep changing color. They were just gold but now they're hazel."
"That's not surprising." Michael said. "Resurrection spells are tricky at best. If Gabriel has used them before then I'm actually not surprised that something went wrong this time. Looks like his memory has fragmented. Thankfully it's the most common problem."
"Not the point Michael. Most likely Crowley's spell of servitude interfered because I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume it was still active when Gabriel cast his own spell." Lucifer said. "Since that's the issue let's make sure that my pet isn't making this harder then it should be. He could even be blocking Gabriel's memories from returning. Is that okay with everyone else?"
"As much as I don't like the bastard go ahead." Dean said.
Lucifer nodded and turned to Sam, who was still kneeling next to Gabriel. The youngest archangel seemed confused by the situation and honestly the Devil couldn't blame him. Sam looked back at Gabriel before looking back to Lucifer with a nod. Satan waited until Sam pulled Gabriel to his feet and away from the center of the room before summoning his pet.
"Pet. Come." Lucifer said with a snap, watching as a very irate Crowley appeared.
"Yes Master?" The demon bit out.
"I want to talk." Lucifer said.
"Shit!" Sam had both arms around Gabriel, holding tight onto the squirming archangel, who was trying his best to get to Crowley.
"You sick bastard!" Gabriel screamed at the King of Hell.
Crowley turned his brown eyes to the angel and a grin spilt his face. "Hello Gabriel. I was wondering when I'd see you again."
The blonde surged forward, despite the hold on his hunter had on him, and managed to do what he wanted. Gabriel had an evil smile on his face as his kick connected, getting the demon right between the legs. Crowley went down with a howl of pain, doubling over and glaring at the blonde. The rest of the room, save for Lucifer, was in shock.
"You little feathered bastard!" Crowley snapped.
"That's what you get for raping me you bastard!" The angel spat. "Be grateful I don't have a blade on me or I'd cut them off!"
Michael came over and helped Sam get a better grip on his younger brother before moving him towards the stairs. "Come on Gabriel. Let Lucifer do what he needs to."
"No! I'm not finished with him yet! Michael let me go!" Gabriel demanded as he was led up the stairs. "Lucifer! Lucifer please!"
Lucifer didn't answer but kept his eyes trained on Crowley, who was still on the floor in pain. Demon or not getting hit in the jewels by a pissed off archangel was still going to hurt. Honestly if Gabriel asked, he'd let his little brother have all the revenge he wanted on the demon. Crowley looked up to see the Devil giving him a smug smile.
"Happy to see me in pain?"
Lucifer let out a chuckle. "Ecstatic."
"So I assume you summoned me for a reason other then to get my bollacks busted." The Scotsman said. "Unless you just felt like being cruel."
"That wasn't cruel. That was your just desserts for hurting Gabe like that." Dean said. "And if Lucifer wasn't holding your leash we'd be doing a lot worse to you then just that. Maybe like a dildo made from salt with some holy water lube."
The Hell King turned to glare at the hunter. "You think you're so funny don't you?"
"Enough." Lucifer said, his smile growing as the demon's mouth snapped shut. "I want you to tell me in exact detail what spell you used on Gabriel's blood and feathers. Depending on how detailed your answer is, depends on me letting Dean have his way."
Crowley swallowed hard as the hunter smiled. "Okay. I'll tell you everything."
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"Why did you do that?" Gabriel asked as Michael burned runes into the walls of the room he was in. "I wasn't done with him!"
"I was wondering if you had remembered what he did." Michael said as he finished the runes and stood in the doorway. "I hoped you hadn't."
"I don't...I don't remember him raping me but I know he did." Gabriel said with a glare. "You want to know how I know? Because I remember his face as he stood over me."
Michael's face became pained. "Gabriel please don't."
"I remember being in pain. It burned like holy fire."
"Gabriel please." Michael was beginning to look ill.
"I remember his voice telling me how good I was."
"Gabriel..."
"His exact words were 'You feel incredible! So tight and hot!'"
"Enough Gabriel!" Michael snapped, startling the younger angel. "Don't you think I feel enough guilt over this? To know that not only could I not save you from that bastard but I had to watch as you took your own life right in front of me! Do you know how much it hurts to know that I am supposed to protect you and I failed you again?!"
Gabriel was silent, his eyes wide with a hint of fear in them as he stepped back and into Sam, haven forgotten the hunter in his anger. "Michael...I'm...I'm...I didn't-"
"Just stay here." Michael said, the anger draining from him. "I'll let you out later. Once Lucifer is done. Just...Do as you're told for once Little One."
Gabriel was speechless as he watched his older brother place a hand on the frame of the door and inscribe the last runes needed. With a sad smile Michael turned away and headed back downstairs. It took the youngest archangel a few seconds to realize what had just happened. He went to the doorway and tried to touch the it only to pull back as the spell burned his fingers.
"Michael! Michael you can't just leave me in here! I'm not your prisoner you ass!" Gabriel shouted before heaving a sigh and practically throwing himself on the bed. "Stupid Michael."
Sam shook his head, not surprised by Gabriel's childish behavior, but also recognizing that it was different then before. It seemed that Gabriel's mindset was stuck back when he was younger, as he was actively calling for both his brothers and seemed to trust them completely. Sam watched as the archangel rolled over and his eyes caught sight of the books sitting on the table. He crawled over the bed to get to the books but Sam was quicker and scooped up both of them.
"Those don't belong to you." Gabriel said with a frown.
"Lucifer said I could look through his." Sam said, fingering the worn leather.
"And what about mine? Did he say you could look through mine too?" Gabriel asked, his eyes flicking from the book to Sam's face.
"No. I found them when I was cleaning." Sam admitted. "I wasn't going to look at them but I dropped yours and it opened. I never realized that you drew pictures of me. I knew you drew because you did it whenever you had the chance but you never showed me any of your work."
Gabriel gave him a funny look. "Really? I don't see why I wouldn't."
With a sigh Sam held out the blonde's book to him. "Here. It's yours after all. I had no right to look at it."
Gabriel took the book and opened it, flipping through a few pages in the front. Confusion flashed in those hazel eyes as they landed on some of the pictures. Going further he found a few more that he did recognize but most were drawing blanks in his mind. It was clearly all done in his hand so that meant that these people and places meant something to him. He just wished he could remember what. Flipping a few more pages he finally came to one of Sam. It was of his hunter, the human's expression looking completely heartbroken.
"I don't remember this one." Gabriel said, turning it so Sam could see.
Sam recognized the setting of the picture. "I had just finally caught up to you after spending six months chasing you."
"What for?" Gabriel asked curiously.
The archangel pulled away from Sam and for a moment the hunter was curious as to his actions. The blonde moved into a more comfortable position on the bed and then motioned for Sam to join him on the bed. Deciding to humor the angel, he joined him, surprised when Gabriel curled up against his chest and laid the book open on his lap so they both could see it.
"So what were you chasing me for?" Gabriel asked.
"I..." Sam paused and swallowed hard as that memory still hurt a bit. "I was trying to get you to bring my brother Dean back to life. You spent a hundred Tuesdays killing him and then when you promised me it would be over he died and I chased you down to ask for you to send me back so I could save him. This was when you agreed to do it. You weren't happy but you did it. You told me once that you only gave in because it right then that you realized you loved me."
"Sounds like I became a bit of a dick." The angel said with a smile as he flipped the page to show Sam and Dean bunkered down behind a table. "What about this?"
"This was right before you faced down Lucifer to try and save us and help us stop the apocalypse. That was the night you died. Lucifer killed you." Sam said. "You said that it was the first time in a long time that you had any hope."
"So not only was I dick but I was a hopeless dick." Gabriel said with a shake of his head, as he flipped to the next page. "How about this one?"
As Sam began to explain the next picture he finally realized what Gabriel was doing. If what the First Born had said was true about Gabriel's memories being scattered then this was nothing more then him trying to get them back. Maybe by going over these with him, he could help his boyfriend get his memories back. It wasn't much but it was a start. He'd already lost out on six months with his angel.
"I...I remember this." Gabriel said suddenly as they turned to another page.
It was one of Sam, dressed in a pair of slacks and a gray v-neck sweater. He was smiling and playing with the bracelet around his wrist. He looked happy and relaxed, a plate of half finished dessert in front of him. His face was cast in candlelight and behind him was a night sky and a full moon. Sam also remembered this night all too well.
"This is one of favorite memories." Sam admitted. "I didn't realized you drew it."
"We...this was a date between us." Gabriel said. "It was...It was special though. I gave you something though. Something special. What was it?"
Sam smiled and reached up and ran his fingers through the angel's much shorter hair. "That was the night you asked to court me. You took me out to a carnival, made me go on rides. You tried to make me hurl on the tea cup ride."
"We...The beach...We walked along the beach at sunset. We held hands and walked barefoot letting the water wash over us." Gabriel said, his eyes lighting up and more gold appearing in them. "Then I took you out to a movie. After that we had dinner. I gave you my feather as we laid under the stars. We were in a field and...it rained?"
"Close." Sam said with a smile. "It was a shower but of a different kind. There was a meteor shower. You gave me your feather then. After that we kissed."
"Just kissing?" Gabriel asked. "Seems a bit slow for me."
"You were going slow because of me." The hunter said softly. "I've never been with a guy. You said you'd go slow for me. We've been dating for a year."
Gabriel closed the book and looked up at Sam, his eyes bright and curious as he sat it on the table next to Lucifer's book. "Tell me?"
"Alright. Well it started at this collage. You were there and you were playing the part of a Trickster, Loki." Sam explained.
"A Trickster huh?" Gabriel asked. "I always did love pranks."
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lucifer sighed as he made his way up the stairs. Three hours wasted talking to Crowley and it all amounted to nothing. How was he supposed to look his younger brother in the eyes and tell him that he had no way of fixing his memories? That for now they were completely lost to him? It was bad enough that he had already let his younger brother down enough in the past so why did it have to keep happening now when all he wanted to do was make things right?
Stopping outside the door to Sam's room Lucifer frowned as he felt the warding for the room. Shaking his head with a growl he cursed Michael under his breath. The First Born had told him that he had gotten Gabriel to stay in the room with Sam but neglected to mention that he had done so by locking the younger angel in. Placing his hand on the door to undo the runes he realized that Michael had tweaked the spell so that it only effected Gabriel. It seemed that Michael feared that the Fourth Born would run off if given the slightest chance. With that in mind he left up the warding. Even with Crowley on a tight leash it always paid to be better safe then sorry.
Taking a deep breath Lucifer slowly turned the knob on the door and pushed it open. Sticking his head in he was surprised by the sight that greeted him. Sam was laying on the bed with one arm wrapped around Gabriel. Gabriel was pressed up against the hunter as close as he could get, his hand fisted tightly into the hunter's shirt. Sam's green eyes opened and looked down at the sleeping archangel before flicking up to the Devil. The younger Winchester gave him a smile and motioned for him to come closer.
Lucifer crept in slowly and came to a stop next to the bed. He reached out and gently ran his knuckles over his younger brother's cheek carefully. Gabriel looked so much younger when he was asleep. Pulling back he snapped his fingers and the two were dressed for bed, with Gabriel in his green silk boxers and Sam in a pair of gray sleep pants and matching tank. Another snap had them both tucked in comfortably in the bed. Sam gave him a grateful smile in return.
As he started to leave Lucifer's blue eyes caught sight of the books on the table. With a smile he picked up his book and began flipping through it. He finally stopped on a blank page and turned to face the bed, summoning a chair as he did so. Sitting down he summoned what he would need and made himself comfortable. Looking up he was startled to find Sam watching him with a smile. Giving him a nod his vessel settled in get some rest. With a happy sigh Lucifer put pencil to paper for the first time in several thousand years. It seemed only right that his first picture would be of the two that he had come to care most about in this world.
