Chapter 14: Talks and Nightmares

Michael hesitated outside the door to Sam's room. He reached up to knock only to pause and lower his hand. Why was he even doing this? What was the point? It wasn't like Gabriel remembered what happened. If anything he was better off not knowing. Turning away from the door he headed back for the stairs. This could wait another day.

^Aren't you a warrior Mike?^ Adam asked.

"Yes. I am heaven's best warrior." Michael replied. "Why do you ask?"

^Because I've seen braver cowards.^

Michael let out a growl. "I have faced countless battles and fought many demons. I have never run from a battle."

^And yet you are running from your unarmed younger brother.^ Adam said with a chuckle. ^If I didn't know any better I'd say you looked like that door was the scariest thing you'd ever seen.^

"Adam the things I did to Gabriel are a shame that I will always bare. Also knowing now the things that I do just makes them worse."

^You mean finding out about what Raphael did?^ Adam asked curiously.

"It's a start." Michael said softly. "There are other things as well Adam. Things that I need to apologize for that he will never understand at this moment and once he does he may very well go back to hating me."

"Like what exactly?" Gabriel asked.

Michael turned, his heart pounding. "Gabriel..."

"You want to talk right?" The youngest asked; his hair was tousled and he was wearing a shirt that had to be at least three sizes to big for him and a pair topaz colored silk boxers. "Otherwise you wouldn't be outside the door to Sam's room at two in the morning talking to yourself."

"I was talking to Adam." Michael said defensively.

"He's your vessel. It still counts as talking to yourself." Gabriel said with a smile before it faded. "Did I do something wrong Michael?"

"What? No! What makes you think that?"

Gabriel let out a sigh and turned away. "I think that because whenever I catch you looking at me, all I can see is bile green regret."

The First Born could have kicked himself for being so stupid. All angels could sense energy as easily as breathing. When Gabriel had become a healer their Father had taught him something a little different. The Fourth Born could see energy. When Michael had asked their Father how wise it was to let Gabriel have such a dangerous gift he had simply been told that for Gabriel to be the best healer possible he had to see the hurt as well as sense it. As it got stronger over time it had advanced into Gabriel seeing not only the colors of energy but he was also able to read the emotions that came with the colors. It also made shielding ones emotions from the youngest archangel completely useless. Having been away from Gabriel for so long Michael had forgotten he could do it.

"Gabriel what I regret isn't something that you did." Michael said. "It's something that I did and when I look at you I regret not telling you about it sooner. When things in heaven fell apart I made even worse mistakes concerning you and I never got to apologize for them."

"I take it that Lucifer has those same regrets too?" Gabriel asked turning those hazel eyes back to him. "He said he killed me. Is that what he regrets?"

"I can't speak for him; only for myself." The First Born admitted. "I do have a lot of regret. Like not remembering that family should come first. Or that as your big brother I should have been protecting you and instead I managed to condemn you."

Those hazel eyes were confused. "How did you condemn me Michael? From what Sam told me I left heaven."

The blonde nodded. "You did. You faked your death and ran after then fighting beame too intense. I know you, Little One, and I know your tricks. I knew you were still alive somewhere. In my anger I told all of heaven that if you were ever to return that you were to be put to death as punishment for abandoning us."

Gabriel's face became pained. "So not only did Lucifer kill me, but you wanted me dead too?"

Michael took a step forward, wanting nothing more then to take away his brother's pain, but it was hard to do when you were the cause of that same pain. "Gabriel it wasn't like that. At the time I was angry. I was mad at Lucifer for Falling, mad at Raphael for encouraging us to fight, and mad at you for running instead of staying and fighting."

Gabriel gave him a weak smile. "You and Lucifer may have trained me to be a warrior but my heart was never in it. I'm a healer. Seeing you fight...It hurt. The pain became worse when I realized that I couldn't heal the rift in our family. I guess I'm the failure."

"Never. You were right Gabriel. We shouldn't have been fighting." Michael said, slowly moving closer in case Gabriel spooked. "We were a family. I'd like us to be one again, if that's still a possibility."

"A family..." The Fourth Born whispered.

"Yes. I want us to be happy again. To forget all the pain and hurt we've caused each other." Michael said, taking another step. "I want my brothers back. Do you think that we can have that happen?"

The smaller blonde shrugged. "What makes you think it'll work? From what Sam's told me our fighting got pretty bad and nothing would change your mind. What's to stop that from happening again?"

"If it happens again then this time we'll try to work it out instead of letting it come to blows. You have my word." Michael promised.

Gabriel was silent for a moment and his face turned into a mask of confusion. "I guess we can... Families fight. That's...That's what they do. It's how..."

Michael startled as Gabriel began quoting his words back to him. "Gabriel are you alright?"

The youngest nearly jumped out of his skin and his confused gold eyes turned to is eldest brother. "Michael? How...How did I get here? Sam? Where's Sam? I need to protect him from Crowley! He-"

Gabriel's knees gave out and Michael rushed forward and caught him, carefully lowering him to the ground. "Gabriel!"

"My...head..."

The First Born carefully held his younger brother in his arms and cupped his chin so he could look into his eyes, hoping to see the gold still in them. Michael was shocked to discover the blood streaming from his nose once more. Looking into his eyes Michael could see the gold warring with the hazel before his eyes rolled and Gabriel slipped into unconsciousness. The First Born gave his younger brother a gentle shake to try and wake him and when that didn't work he appeared downstairs and laid his brother on the couch.

"Lucifer! Lucifer! Get out here!" Michael hissed, not wanting to alert the whole house. "Gabriel needs you!"

Lucifer appeared, he was covered in a fine layer of dirt and looked like he had taken a bad fall but his eyes were locked on Gabriel. "What happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Michael said taking in his brother's disheveled state.

"I was looking through some of the tomes about resurrection spells." Lucifer said. "I was trying to find a way to help Gabriel."

"We were talking about trying to be a family again. He began quoting me. The exact words that I said to him during our fight. His eyes turned to gold and he recognized me. He knew who I was, he knew who Sam was, and he knew who Crowley was. He said that he needed to protect Sam from Crowley then his nose started bleeding again and he passed out." Michael explained. "Can you help him?"

The Devil knelt next to his brothers and began examining the youngest archangel with his Grace. "Despite what you may think Brother, I am no healer."

"Gabriel did teach you."

Lucifer chuckled. "He said I was the worst student in the world and that I should never ask him to teach me ever again."

Concerned with the blood he checked first for a hemorrhage and was relieved to find nothing. Doubling checking he found no spell that would cause it to happen. Still he used his Grace to try and heal Gabriel, not surprised at all when it didn't work. Shaking his head he turned back to Michael who was watching nervously.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Lucifer asked standing. "I told you I'm no healer. I can't find a reason for the nose bleeds. They just keep happening. My best guest is a side effect from the combination of spells."

"So what should we do? Isn't there anything that can help?"

"Damn it Michael, I mastered magic not healing. I am not a doctor!" Lucifer snapped. "Nose bleeds an be caused by anything from stress to sen-Oh!"

Michael nearly jumped at the Devil sudden exclamation. "What? Did you find something?"

Lucifer shushed him and reached out and gently touched his fingers to Gabriel's brow. Closing his own eyes he concentrated, reaching into his younger brother's mind. Memories assaulted him with no clear time line and he quickly pulled back, not wanting to get caught in the torrent. Opening his eyes he pulled away and stared at him sadly.

"I can see why he's having trouble. His memories are trying to come spilling out all at once. There's no order to them and every time they surface it's like he's drowning in every memory he has. It's causing the nose bleeds and blackouts. Sensory overload." Lucifer said, proud that he had figured it out.

"Okay so we know the problem. Can we find a solution?" Michael asked softly.

"Now that I know the problem I can try. It's not the real problem but if I can treat this one then it be easier to find out the real problem." Lucifer said. "Maybe I should have another talk with Crowley."

"What should I do in the mean time?" The First Born asked. "What can I do to help?"

"You want to help?" Lucifer snapped. "Then act like his brother Michael, instead of just talking about how you want us to be a family. Words mean nothing to either Gabriel or myself."

Michael opened his mouth to reply but Lucifer disappeared with a rustle. Thinking over the Devil's words he realized that Lucifer was right. So far since he had been back all he had done was talk about being a family. He hadn't really done anything to prove that he wanted his family back other then spew pretty speeches.

^Funny how family has a way of pointing out what we don't want to see huh?^ Adam said softly.

"Yes. It never occurred to me that I would have to prove myself to them." Michael admitted. "I should have realized it though considering what has happened between us."

^How are you going to prove it?^ Adam asked softly. ^Lucifer left and Gabriel is unconscious.^

Michael suddenly felt as though lightening struck him. "I think I know a way."

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sam blinked. He rubbed his eyes. He blinked again. The sight before him remained unchanged. Michael was laying on the couch with his wings out. Wrapped in his wings and being held close to his chest was Gabriel, the angel barely visible under the eggshell white feathers. The First Born was staring at the younger archangel as if Gabriel was the answer to all his problems; he didn't even seem to notice anyone else. Sam shook his head and didn't question, instead moving into the kitchen to join Lucifer, who was cooking, and Bobby, who was eating. Pouring himself a cup of coffee he turned to Lucifer.

"Do I even want to know?" Sam asked.

"Michael wanted to talk to Gabriel last night for some reason. Michael said that Gabby began quoting him about family. He said the exact same thing that Michael told him while they were fighting. Gabby came too and seemed to be back to himself for a moment before his nose began bleeding again and he collapsed." Lucifer said passing Sam a plate of pancakes, eggs, and sausage. "When he couldn't wake him Michael called me."

"Is Gabe okay now?" Sam asked looking into living room.

"He's resting now. I did manage to find out the cause of the nose bleeds."

"Why is Michael cuddling Gabe?" Dean asking coming into the kitchen followed by Castiel. "Don't get me wrong I think it's kind of cute but also a bit creepy."

"Gabe collapsed again last night." Sam said. "Lucifer was just telling he knows why Gabe keeps having nose bleeds."

"What is the cause?" Castiel asked, curious. "A spell?"

"Something a bit simpler but also worse. Sensory overload."

Castiel stilled before slowly turning to look at the two archangels in the living room. "How...How is Gabriel even able to function?"

"He's not really. The nose bleeds and black outs prove that." Lucifer said softly. "We just need to find out how to stop it so he can get everything in order."

"So once we stop him from overloading he can get his memories in order?" Bobby asked. "What about herbs or drugs? Would any of those help? Or a spell maybe?"

"Hold on. What's so bad about sensory overload?" Dean asked. "Cas your acting like Lucifer just handed Gabe a death sentence."

"We are wavelengths of Grace. For us to be overwhelmed it's much like a human hearing the true voice of an angel or seeing their real form." Castiel said. "Humans can't comprehend it. Think of that only a hundred times worst because it does more then mess with our senses. It affects our very beings."

"The best way to describe it in a way you'll understand Dean..." Lucifer trailed off thinking. "Ah. It's a very bad acid trip."

Dean paled. "That's the way it is huh? Poor Gabe."

"Believe me when I say I am doing everything in my power to try and find a way to fix this." Lucifer said. "But as I told Michael, I'm not a healer despite Gabby trying to teach me. There is only so much I can do."

"So would the drugs, herbs, or a spell help?" Bobby asked again.

"It's more a matter of finding the right thing to use. As I'm sure you were told, human medicines don't last very long on us if they even work in the first place. The herbs might be of some use but again they never last as long as they should. The problem with using a spell is the fact two have already interacted badly with each other and they caused this problem. I'm hesitant to cast a third." Lucifer admitted. "Too many things could go wrong."

"Like what?" Bobby asked.

"Like his mind could shut down entirely. His Grace could be crippled. I can go on. The list is huge. The variables are nearly endless." Lucifer said as he finished cooking and sat the rest of the food aside for everyone to help themselves. "Even the best case scenario could be pretty bad."

Sam turned to look back at Gabriel and Michael again. "So are we giving up?"

"Did I say that?" Lucifer asked taking a sip of his coffee. "Gabriel needs help even if he doesn't know it. Right now we have no idea at all about how much of his training he remembers. We don't even know how well he can control his Grace. We do know that his mind set is before the war but we don't have a proper time line to tie it to. As much as I don't want to say this, right now Gabby is a much of a danger to us as he is to himself."

"NO!"

The whole kitchen jumped at Gabriel's sudden shout. Sam rushed into the living room to find Gabriel kneeling in the corner between the fireplace and the chair. The angel was shaking and tears were rolling down is cheeks. Michael was sporting a quickly blackening eye and seemed just as confused. Sam moved closer to Gabriel even as he heard the others come in behind him.

"What did you do Michael?" Lucifer snapped.

"I didn't do anything. I think he had a nightmare." Michael admitted. "He started muttering and squirming and then he just screamed and lashed out."

"Please..." Gabriel whispered.

Sam knelt down in front of the blonde and held out his hand and the angel wasted no time in flinging himself into his arms. "It's okay Gabe. I'm here. What happened?"

"He was hurting me. I...He forced me into doing things I didn't want to do and when I'd say no...He hit me. Sam I was so scared." Gabriel said, his voice shaking nearly as bad as he was.

Both Lucifer and Michael stiffened. They both wanted to know and were terrified to know in case it was one of them that their younger brother had dreamed of. They were both guilty of hurting him and not stopping even when he begged. Sam noticed that neither of them seemed to want to ask so he knew that the task fell to him.

"Who was hurting you?" Sam asked softly. "Do you know?"

"Red hair...brown eyes...Ky...Kyran...I think his name was Kyran." Gabriel said softly.

Sam sighed and cupped Gabriel's face in his hands and forced the angel to look at him. "I want you to listen to me okay? Kyran can't hurt you anymore. He'll never hurt you ever again. I promise. He's dead. You're safe."

Gabriel nodded, closing his eyes and leaning into Sam's touch. "Thank you."

"I wish he wouldn't keep remembering the bad memories." Dean said. "He's been through enough already."

Gabriel suddenly jerked away from Sam and stared at Dean. "What...what did you say?"

Dean froze and turned to the angel, afraid that he might have triggered another bad memory. "I said I wish you wouldn't remember the bad memories."

Sam watched as Gabriel eyes began to shift, the hazel fading to become gold once more. "Gabe?"

"That's...That's what happened. There was a third spell. No. A seal. I was going to seal away the memory of what he did to me." Gabriel whispered, even as blood began trailing from his nose. "The seal wasn't complete when I died. I... I think I did this to myself."

"Gabriel stop." Lucifer said. "Don't try to remember anymore!"

"The resurrection spell interfered with the seal." Gabriel said, forging on with Sam rushing to catch the blood with the towel Castiel brought over to him. "I was trying to seal away what he did and I lost control. I did this to myself. I sealed my memories with an unstable seal."

"Gabriel stop!" Michael said moving closer. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

"It was...It was from the sixth volume of the Lexicon Allurement." Gabriel muttered, his eyes were becoming unfocused and the blood was beginning to slow. "I don't...Sam? Please don't give up on me. I'm trying...I really am. Please..."

Sam leaned in and kissed his angel hard, not caring about the blood, and Gabriel responded. The angel kissed him back like it was going to be their last kiss. Very slowly, Sam could feel the change in the kiss. It went from desperate to shy before the angel pulled back. Sam was saddened to see his boyfriend's eyes were hazel once more.

"Sam? How did I get down here?" The angel asked, confusion lacing his voice.

Sam sighed. "You got up last night and went to talk to Michael."

"I did? I don't remember."

"Well you fell asleep on him. You had a nightmare and woke up. You're okay now." Sam assured him. "You hungry?"

Gabriel gave him a smile, and Sam felt his heart break a little because it wasn't the smile he remembered. "Starving. What's for breakfast?"