There is no point in getting up, stay in bed. No one is going to miss you at school anyway. You`re still in a tight ball under your blanket. You won`t let them beak you but you just can`t take it today, you know that you won't be able to handle another comment right now. You won't make it if they start laughing at you because of what happened yesterday, you were a fool. You got carried away and this is the result. You`re better off alone, you`re better off in here, a way from people's eyes. No one can reach you here, no one.

After a few hours with nothing to do you decide to get up. You remember that you have an assignment for school, now would be a good time, to just forget everything. To block it all out and focus, you get up lazily and head to the bathroom.

Half way thought the assignment you get bored and start to look around in the kitchen; maybe you should fix yourself something to eat. You get slowly, open the cupboard and pull out a pack of intent nodules. After placing it on the stove you return to your seat on the kitchens table and continue you`re assignment.

Taking a rug, you pick up the pot and empty it in a bowl when you hear the sound of keys at the apartment door. You hear as the keys are inserted into the lock and the door opens slowly. No one has you`re apartment keys, no one expect for Alex and he only comes at the begging of the month. You walk out of the kitchen to see Alex closing the door behind him, he turns around and his eyes are wide when he sees you

"Maura? What are you doing here, your suppose to be at school" he looks surprised, but you still don't get why is he here

"I skipped it today" Maura said quietly and she can hear him cursing under his breath before walking up to you and kneeling to your level placing both hands on your upper arms

"Ok Maura listens to me, this is very important. Did your father send you something lastly? A notebook?" he looks worried, on the edge as talks. Maura hesitated at first but nodded "ok, I need you to get it for me, that notebook it very dangerous. bad people will be here looking for it soon, I need to get out of here understand?" Maura nod again, she`s scared and he can see that, but he needs to get that notebook. Maura was about to go to her bedroom and get it when she heard a gentle knock on the door, she looked at Alex with scared eyes. He motioned her to be quit and stand still and she did, for a few seconds everything went quit and then someone started to kick the door harshly. " Maura go get the notebook" Alex turned to see little Maura glued to her spot " now!" he shouted and she looked at him with pleading eyes before running into the bed room.

Maura started digging into her closet looking in her pants pockets, she know she left it in one of them but which one. She heard the door breaking and someone talking to Alex in the kitchen, she kept looking until she finally found it and run to the kitchen again. A man was standing in front of the door with a smirk playing in his face, turning her head to where Alex was she saw him pulling out a small dagger from his thigh painting. "Alex?" she asked in a small voice, Alex didn't even realize that she was there until he heard her voice

"Maura, hand over the notebook" the man said in a quiet voice and extended his arm with a smirk, Maura looked between him and Alex

"Don't do it Maura, he just want to use it to bring out the mobs again" Alex said in an angry tone

"Maura, Alex is just afraid of you possessing that." the man said in an amused tone, as he motioned at Alex with lazy hands

"w-what?" Maura looked so scared, so confused. What is that man talking about, why would Alex be afraid of me having it

"What the hell are you saying?" Alex shouted before turning to Maura in a gentle tone "don't believe him Maura" the man started giggling

"I'll tell you the truth" he said quietly

"Shut up!" Alex shouted again, the man ignored him and looked at Maura

"When you were born eleven years ago, the police knew that if paddy would give away that notebook. He would only give it to you, another Doyle to carry on the business ..."

"Stop it!" Alex shouted again

"They knew that he won't send it if you were with a family so they left you alone. Didn't you ever wonder why Alex didn't give you his last name instead of having you suffer like this? Why he never stayed with you although he`s supposed to be your adoptive father? They made sure that you were alone, always alone. For their own benefit, your life was a living hell because of them Maura!" he pointed out on Alex. Maura was lost, she felt was in a roller coaster and her heart beating in her throat, she couldn't even swallow

"Stop!" Alex shouted again, his voice started too hoarse

"They wanted a man they could trust, a man they knew will never work for paddy Doyle. Alex here was the perfect thing, know why?" Maura shook her head slowly; her face was blank with no expressions "Alex told you that his parents died right? But did he tell you who did it?" Maura's lips barley moved as she finally understood what he meant

"Doyle" she said with the realization, the man started clapping with amusement

"Very good, you're getting the hang of it" he smiled

"Damn it, damn it damn it" Maura's eyes finally filled with tears and she tried to fight them off, Maura Alex looked at her with soft eyes

"No one will ever recognize you! Even Alex hates you!" the man shouted, Alex griped at his thigh trying to think of what to do

Alex, Maura grow up without knowing the love of a parent and will be hated for what her father did .so if she`s acting out it's because she wants to be noticed by someone .whatever the form, she wanted someone to recognize the value o her existent. Although she acts tough, Maura is the one who's having a difficult time. The voice echoed in his head "die Doyle" the man took out a gun and pointed it at Maura, Maura was so scared that she tripped when she tried to run away.

"Maura duck!" Maura did what Alex said and closed her eyed when she heard the laud sound of the gun being fired, she just wanted to disappear, and she just wanted it to be a bad dream. Maura opened her eyes when she felt a drop of warm liquid on her face, Alex was on top of her with both hands on the ground to keep him from falling, he was protecting her.

"w-why?" it didn't make any sense, why was he protecting her? He hates her

"Because you`re the same as me" Alex closed his eyes trying to breathe through the pain "after my parent died, no one ever recognized me…. Being the bad student I was, I screwed up a lot during class….because I wanted to get everyone's attention. I couldn't get anyone's attention when I was a good student so I acted like an idiot" Alex `s was filled with sadness, remorse

"It was tough..." his voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears "right Maura? you were lonely ha?" Alex's tears stared to fall on Maura's face, Maura was stunned her lips were parted but her mind was still numb "it was so hard ha? I`m so sorry Maura. You didn't have to feel that way if I was more aware" Maura's eyes were still wide, she wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe him badly. The man let out a snort

"Don't make me laugh; Alex hated you since you were born! He just want to get that notebook back" Maura clutched her jaw before quickly getting up and running into the bed room and locking it, she knew that they could still get to here and started looking for a way out.

The man started laughing in the kitchen as he walked up to Alex "she`s not the type to change her mind, she`s going to get revenge on everyone who hurted her using that notebook"

"Maura is not like that" Alex said in a weak voice

" whatever, as long as I get that notebook and kill Doyle I'm fine , I'll take care of you later" he began to kick the door until it broke, the room looked empty . Alex used what's left of his energy to get up and collide into the man knocking him to the ground with him.

Little Maura was hiding in the closet holding the notebook close to her chest when she heard the rumble in the room. "I don't get it, what's the use of protecting Doyle? Did you forget that her father was the one to kill your parents?"

"I'm not going to let an idiot like you get that notebook" Maura heard Alex's weak voice reply with venom

"You`re the idiot,everything is possible with that notebook; do you really think that Maura, a Doyle, won't use it?" he said wickedly

"Yeah, you`re right" Maura hugged the notebook even harder, trying to keep from crying. I knew it, even Alex doesn't see me "that's if she was a Doyle" Alex's voice brought her back to reality "but Maura is different" Maura could hear the smile in his voice "she`s … she`s a great kid, that's what I see. she`s hardworking, earnest, clumsy and no one ever recognize her. she`s kind… and knows the pain of others. she`s not Doyle, she`s Maura!" Alex said with anger

Hot tears started running down Maura's face and she couldn't do anything about them, they wouldn't stop, "Alex I told you that I'll tae care of you later, I take it back. I'm going to kill you now" Maura flinched when she heard to more gun shots and covered her mouth trying to muffle a sob. She kept crying in the closet until she heard a voice coming from the room

"It's ok Maura. You can come out" it was Alex, it was Alex's voice. Maura opened the closet slowly and saw the man lying dead in pool of his own blood, she froze "it's ok, don't look at him. Look at me" Maura forced her eyes to look for Alex in the room; he was on the ground, leaning his back on a wall with a gun next to his hand. Maura looked at the gun and back at Alex with scared eyes wanting, needing him to say something "come here" Maura ran to him and throwing herself into his arms, she was shaking badly

He pulled her away from him to look into her eyes "listen to me; I need you to go to the police station..."

"What? What are you talking about I can't…" Maura shook her head

"Yes you can, find a man named Korsak and give him the notebook .ok?" Maura nodded before hugging him "forgive me Maura, I ..." Alex exhaled and closed his eyes, Maura looked up to see his closed eyes

"No Alex, wake up." Maura started shaking him with all her strength "you can't leave me. Alex please. I don't want to be alone anymore." angry tears were running down her face "please" little Maura buried her face into his shirt.


'A girl who didn't even cry'

'it's her father`s funeral, not a tear!'

'Maybe if he hadn't adopted that Doyle, maybe he`d still be with us'

"Shut up, it's not my fault, it's not my fault" little Maura was standing outside the church repeating over and over again. She wasn't trying to convene anyone as much as she was trying to convene herself with that. The Funeral was the hardest thing she ever had to go through, people kept whispering at the church as she sat alone in front of the closed casket, she couldn't let them have the pleasure of seeing her breaking

"That's right" a soft voice said behind her, Maura turned sharply to see Angela standing with a sad smile on her face. The Rizzolis didn't show up till now, Maura didn't see them in the church. Maura forced herself to look away from Angela`s soft face with anger

"It's not my fault, it's not my fault" Maura said again angrily, Angela walked slowly toward Maura and kneeled down in front of her

"I know" Angela said again, Maura greeted her teeth; she couldn't fight the tears anymore. Maura started sniffing and started to wipe at her tears angrily with her sleeves. "Maura, if you`d like. why don't you come live with us for a little while?" Maura stopped whipping at her tears and looked at Angela`s soft eyes , Maura's eyes were full of unshed tears and her lips were quivering "ok?" Angela reached out cupping Maura's face and whipping the tears away with her thumb. Maura nodded, still not finding her voice to answer.

After the ceremony, Angela offered her hand to Maura. Maura looked at it for a few seconds still not sure "its ok" Angela said softly and Maura hesitate but accepted it. Angela had come to the church on foot so they had to walk their way to her house "I left Jane with Frankie back at home, I couldn't bring him along with me and I`m not a big fan of nannies" Maura was looking up at Angela when she heard someone talking

'It's Doyle'

'So, Angela is really taking her in huh?'

" that`s how it looks'

'Now I'm sure she means well but still I feel sorry for her'

'Yeah, what was she thinking letting that damn Doyle near kids?'

' and she`s so young too' Maura let go of Angela's hand and stops walking, Maura gasped when suddenly she was lifted off the ground for a split of a second from her armpit and then placed down in front of Angela who- as Maura gathered- was the one who lifted her in the first place

"From now on Maura, you`ll be breathing the air from a higher place" Angela said with a grin before standing straight and taking her Maura's hand and they both started walking again.