Chapter 18: Apologies and Moving On

Sam and Dean watched as Gabriel and Lucifer looked over a book of angelic rituals that belonged to Bobby. It was fascinating to watch the two work. It was amazing to see the two working in tandem, it was like they were on a different wavelength. There was a connection between the two that they easily see and that Dean and Sam had only seen before in themselves. The two brothers were able to work flawlessly and seemed to know exactly what the other needed before it was needed. It was both beautiful and scary to watch. It made the Winchesters wonder exactly how difficult life would have been for them had the archangels worked together.

Gabriel let out a laugh and closed the book. "That should do it. Thanks again Luci. I knew I would have forgotten something."

"Well you never were the best student. I never could get you to sit long enough to try to teach you my spell work." Lucifer said. "It's a miracle you knew that much."

"Like you were any better at trying to learn my healing skills?" Gabriel taunted. "I tried to get you to heal a cut and not only did you make the cut bigger but you also gave it three different infections! I never did figure out how you managed to do that."

Lucifer just let out a chuckle. "I was just lucky."

"Just admit that you have shitty healing skills." Gabriel said, standing to put the book back now that it had been corrected by not one but two archangels. "How are things anyway?"

"Slow. Like glacier moving slow." Lucifer admitted. "I want to thank you again for letting me use your house. It's very beautiful. I don't know what I would have done otherwise."

"So Michael is still playing around then?" Sam asked, watching as the taller blonde's face fell.

"Yes. He keeps sending me words and no actions." Lucifer said. "I'm ready to call it quits."

"I still don't understand his damn problem." Dean said. "I mean he's acting like a kid throwing a temper tantrum."

"Michael is a warrior Dean." Gabriel explained. "He's a bit like you. Emotionally constipated."

"I am not emotionally constipated." Dean said. "When I want to deal with my problems I go out and kill things. That's healthy."

"Just like Michael." Lucifer said. "You are definitely the right vessel."

"Screw you guys." Dean said fighting back a smile.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle as well. It was hard to believe that Lucifer was adapting so well to the situation when a week ago the Fallen had a major breakdown. Gabriel had taken Sam's advice and called a family meeting. When the archangel said family, Sam had been under the assumption that it was going to be a meeting between the three archangels. Instead it had been not only the archangels, but Castiel, the Winchesters, and Bobby as well. Gabriel's idea of them all being his family had been a startling revelation.

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One Week Ago

"Okay so now that our family is here let's get this started." Gabriel said clasping his hands together once everyone was seated in the living room thanks to a little Trickster/Archangel magic. "Who wants to go first?"

"If this is a family meeting then why are we here?" Bobby asked. "Shouldn't we humans get out of your hair?"

"Sam is my going to be my mate. Ergo he is supposed to be here. Dean is his brother, which is also obvious, but him being Cassie's mate means he would have been here anyway. As such because Sam and I aren't bonded yet he needs his father or legal guardian, ergo you. Congratulations, you've been adopted by angels." Gabriel said with a smile. "Any other questions?"

Bobby just shook his head, trying to hide tears.

"Great. So I'll go first." The Fourth Born said. "First I would like to apologize for being an ass but I've also been told to never apologize for being myself so that goes right out the window. I'd also like to thank everyone for not giving up on me and helping me through one of the darkest and most messed up times of my life. If it hadn't been for everyone in this room then...I am very grateful to my Father for bringing you all into my life. That being said if I have wronged you in the past in anyway that you might still bare a grudge for then I want to say right now that I am sorry and that I hope you can forgive me."

Sam smiled, fighting back his own tears now. "Dean and I forgive you."

"Same here." Bobby said.

"You are my brother and as such I never bore any ill will against you." Castiel said.

Lucifer shook his head. "You've never owed me an apology."

"Or me." Michael said softly.

Gabriel nodded and moved to sit next to Sam only to watch as his boyfriend stood up with a smile. "I guess I'll go next."

Taking a moment Sam cleared his throat before speaking again. "I want to say that I am sorry for any hurtful actions I have taken against anyone. I know the demon blood and soulless things were pretty bad but that doesn't excuse my actions. I can stand here all day and name every transgression but that would take forever so...I'm sorry for everything."

"Consider it forgotten Sammy." Dean said, watching the smile spread across his brother's face.

Sam sat and Bobby stood.

"I just wanted to say to you boys that I'm sorry that I couldn't have given you a better life but I did what I could and I am proud of the way you boys turned out. Seeing you here, like this, happy in your life and having someone who I know loves you by your side..." Bobby trailed off, chocked up by tears. "I just glad I got to see my boys happy. All of you."

Bobby sat down, pulling his ball cap down to cover his face. Gabriel's smile was one of contentment as he pulled Sam closer. This was what he had wanted. He wanted his family whole again and so far they were on the right track. Gabriel had been expecting Dean to stand next but instead it was Castiel who stood next. The younger angel seemed nervous but also very determined. Standing in front of everyone Castiel looked to Dean, who gave him a smile, before facing them.

"I...I have made many mistakes in the past and I'd like to take the time to apologize for my mistakes and hope that I am forgiven for them. I would also like to say thank you as well. For being my friends and family." Castiel said softly before whispering something in Enochian and sitting once more.

Dean stood next, looking even more nervous then his mate had. "I don't do mushy stuff. Never have and never will. Be that as it stands I apologize for anything I did against you and I'm grateful to have a family that I know I can count on. And if you make me do this ever again Gabriel, I will stab you with a stick again, archangel or not."

With that said the hunter sat back down amid the chuckles of most of the room. Gabriel shook his head knowing that Dean didn't really mean it but Michael, still in the body of Adam, sent a glare towards him for a few moments until realization lit up those blue eyes. It seemed like Adam was a good influence on the First Born. At least Gabriel didn't have to worry about Michael killing him. Lucifer stood next and moved to the center of the room.

"Robert, Castiel. I would like to start by apologizing for killing you. Dean I apologize for the beating. Sam I apologize for the same beating and our time in hell." Lucifer said softly.

The four let the Devil know he was forgiven and Lucifer seemed to take it to heart before he turned his blue eyes to his younger brother.

"Gabriel...I don't know where or even how to start." The taller blonde admitted. "So much has happened between us, both good and bad. An apology won't do. Like I told Michael, I deserve nothing more then to be strung up and to have my wings ripped off and left there to suffer."

Lucifer, to concerned with looking down at the floor, missed the reactions his words drew. Bobby looked disgusted. Sam had to tighten his own shocked grip on the youngest archangel to keep him from jumping up and going to his older brother. Castiel looked like he was going to be ill and buried his face in Dean's shoulder, who looked absolutely horrified. Michael shifted uncomfortably but you could see the pain in his eyes.

"I know that I alone am responsible for the actions I have committed but Michael and I have recently found that our actions, while our own, were forced on us by a third party. We were betrayed by one of our own and made to turn against each other. I was poisoned and my mind reset to hate all that I cared for and Michael was forced into becoming cold and bitter." Lucifer said. "So hate me if you will. Withhold your forgiveness if you want but my actions were brought on by someone else's will."

"What are you saying Lucifer?" Gabriel asked.

"I'm saying I never would have Fallen if it hadn't been for Raphael. Raphael was a traitor Gabriel. He is the one who drove a wedge between us. He poisoned both Michael and myself and then played us against each other. He's the reason I began to hate humanity. He planted the idea in my head and then played the feelings that I held in my heart against me. Then he turned around and did the same thing to Michael. Raphael's plan was going good too, until you tried to stop us.

"Every time you touched us and talked to us you were healing us. Raphael realized this and he attacked you and broke your wing." Lucifer said. "He betrayed all of us. He's the reason for everything. My Fall. Your Wing. Michael's mate. Even you death at my hands. It was all because of him. He wanted to become, not only our Father's favorite son, but his only son. Castiel did us all a favor by ending him."

Gabriel swallowed hard, his chest tight. Raphael was the reason for everything. The Third Born had destroyed them. He had ripped apart their family and for what? Nothing more then jealously. It left Gabriel feeling cold and the change in the air was felt by even the three humans. Sam leaned in and kissed his angel's cheek and Gabriel felt a bit better but it was still a shock that would take time to get over and it would have to happen later. There were other things that needed to be addressed first.

Gabriel kissed Sam's cheek in a show of affection; now was the time for what they had talked about. Gabriel stood and pulled off his jacket and passed it to Sam, who took it with a smile. The archangel returned it, happy that he had someone like Sam in his life that understood, and even accepted, what he and Lucifer once had. It made what was going to happen so much easier.

"Lucifer there are things between us that we do need to address. May I?" Gabriel asked.

Lucifer nodded, certain that his younger brother would at least want some type of revenge.

"There has been a lot between us hasn't there Luci? First you were my older brother, the one I looked up to and chased away my fears. Then you were my mentor, my teacher in many things. Then after some time we crossed the line and fell into being years we spent together Lucifer, will always be some of the happiest memories that I will every have. The two of us shared a lot of firsts.

"I stole your first kiss." Gabriel said with a laugh. "I'll never forget the shocked look on your face when I kissed you. I really thought you were going to faint. You were also the first person I ever injured; I almost passed out when I realized that I actually hurt you. You got me back though didn't you? I thought Michael was going to kill us both for that.

"Another first for us was each other. I've been told by Sam that the first time for humans is much like the first time for angels. It's something that is special; almost sacred in a way. Most people see it as a loss of innocence but I never saw it as that. I saw it as a way to connect on a deeper level with someone who you care deeply for. You were the love of my life."

Gabriel paused and Sam leaned forward and ran his fingers over the angel's knuckles before sitting back again and letting the angel continue. "I'm sorry. I'm am trying to make a point but I guess that I'm starting to ramble a bit. I don't mean to but this is hard in more ways then one. I didn't expect it to be this hard.

"Okay...What I am trying to say is that we...We have a connection Lucifer. It's one that we'll always have. You can't share in what we have and go through the shit we have without forming some type of bond. This thing between us is something that we are always going to have. Some part of me will always love you and I have no doubt in my mind that some part of you will always love me. It's just something that will be between us.

"Lucifer I just want you to know that some part of me will never stop loving you but at this point there is something that I cannot forgive." Gabriel said his voice going cold.

Lucifer nodded but it was easy to see the heartbreak the Second Born's face. Hearing that Gabriel would never forgive him for something seemed to crush something inside Lucifer and he couldn't stop his reaction. It seemed to affect Lucifer far more then what any one else expected either. Tears slowly fell from the Fallen's eyes and his knees gave out. The taller blonde knelt before his younger brother and the heartbreak in the room was tangible.

"Gabriel..."

The Fourth Born joined his brother on the floor. "Lucifer Morningstar, The Second Born Archangel of God, who was so beautiful that he was God's favorite son."

More tears fell. "Please don't..."

Gabriel watched his brother cry for a moment before six golden wings appeared filling the room. The Fourth born cupped his brother face's and slowly dried his tears. He forced his older brother to look at him, gold eyes locking with blue. Gabriel stared into his brother's eyes for a few moments before a sad smile crossed his face.

"You're getting worked up over nothing Luci." The Trickster's voice had lost it's edge and was warm once more with a hint of laughter. "You never did like letting me finish."

"Finish? But you said-"

"I said there is something I cannot forgive and I meant it." Gabriel sighed. "I've never really regretted anything before in my life did you know that Lucifer? In all of my years that I spent wandering this world and taking in our Father's work I never had any regrets about the things I had seen or done. My regret come from a time before that. Something that I've had to carry around since I ran from heaven. Do you want to know what that is?"

Lucifer nodded shakily in Gabriel's firm grasp, both needing to know and terrified to know at the same time.

"You were my biggest regret."

The Devil began to pull away but he was held firm.

"There you go trying to leave before I'm done again." Came the exasperated tone. "My regret isn't having been with you Luci. It's having lost you. What happened between us happened so fast that before either of us knew it the dust had settled and things had changed. You were gone. I was broken. It hurt in more ways then one that we never really got to say what we need to did we?"

Lucifer reached up and covered his brother's hands with his own. "What we had, the way it ended, it was for the best. I was trying to protect you."

"I know. You were being the big brother I always knew you were but it left us both hurting." Gabriel said. "Neither of us got to say goodbye. Even after all these years there is still some part of both of us that is clinging to the other. I know you feel it too. It's what's keeping us from really moving on to be with the people we really love."

"I do lov-"

"I know what you feel. I've always known that while you did love me, something that I will be eternally grateful for, I know that I was not the one your heart really wanted. I was the one that you settled on because you decided that you couldn't have the impossible. It seems like you being with Michael is a much closer dream then you thought huh?" Gabriel said with a smile before frowning. "Which leaves us with a small problem. The matter of our relationship or should I say what's left of it."

"I don't understand Gabby." Lucifer said. "What problem?"

Gabriel didn't answer. The Fourth Born pressed his lips to Lucifer's firmly, but gently. The Fallen froze, his blue eyes going wide before sliding closed. His arm's slid around the shorter blonde and pulled him close, deepening the kiss. Gabriel's wings wrapped tightly around them before there was a glow and Lucifer's blinding white wings joined in and copied their golden mates.

From around the room came various reactions. Bobby seemed to be in total shock. Castiel was watching the display with curiosity and awe. Dean watched for a minute, feeling slightly hot and bothered and a bit dirty by the display before turning to look at Sam. Sam was watching with a smile and tears in his eyes, happy that his boyfriend was finally getting the closer he needed to move on. Michael seemed torn, watching with is jaw slightly unhinged but Adam was also there and his expression seemed to be almost exuberant.

The two angels on the floor separated and Lucifer stared at Gabriel in confusion. "I don't understand Gabby. Why?"

The smile that he was graced with was a sad one. "Because we both needed this Luci. This? This is our goodbye. Something that's been overdue for several thousand years. Now that we've finally gotten it then we can put both our regrets to rest. I think we owe it not only to ourselves, but to the people we love. Our time is over."

Lucifer's smile matched Gabriel's. "You're right. We did need this. And we do owe it to ourselves and to them to put what we had to rest. I love you Gabriel. I will always love you. Goodbye."

Gabriel leaned down and kissed the Fallen once more. "I love you Lucifer. I will always love you. Goodbye."

The two pulled away and as they did both their wings vanished. Gabriel moved to sit next to Sam once more. The hunter embraced his angel with a smile and passed him a tissue to dry his tears. Bobby was passing another tissue to Lucifer. The room fell silent after that, giving the two archangels a few moments to compose themselves. Once a few minutes had passed everyone turned expectantly to Michael. The First Born stood stock still until is blue eyes looked up and took a quick glance around the room.

"I...I'm sorry. I can't do this." Michael said suddenly.

There was a glow and suddenly Adam was left standing by himself looking as confused as the rest of them felt. Never before had Michael run from anything. Adam seemed to understand he was in control once more and looked around.

"What just happened?" Adam asked.

"Michael just needs some time." Gabriel said. "He'll be back."

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Present Day

"At least we know where he is." Dean said. "He'll get over himself."

"Yeah. I know." Lucifer said. "I've just never know Michael to be unsure of himself. It's leaving me feeling like I'm having a sever case of whiplash."

"Have you decided what you want to do?" Sam asked. "I mean we know how you feel about him but do you really want to give him a shot?"

Lucifer gave him a smile. "I will if he decides to grow into his wings."

"Well until then you are more then welcome visit anytime." Gabriel said. "There's always more books to correct."

Lucifer let out a chuckle. "I'll think about it. Until then I want to borrow your kitchen. I found a recipe at your house that I want to try."