Chapter 13
The next morning they went through the motions of getting ready. Each one of them kept the conversation light. Since Jessica had to spend the morning with a trainer, they arrived early. She had lucked out with the house show being in Connecticut, so they only had a short drive.
"If you guys want you can just drop me off, try to find something else to do nearby." She suggested to them.
"No way. We're going in." Matt said. "Besides, I can use a little time to unwind." He had already made arrangements to meet up with the security department to go over safety measures. He and Jeff agreed that they should go over everything first before it's brought to Jessica. They wanted to put up a unified front in case there was anything she was going to fight.
"I just don't want you guys to get bored, hanging out doing nothing." She said.
"Don't worry about us. We'll be fine. I'm sure I can find some trouble to get into." Jeff added.
"Oh good, just what we need." Jessica said. They pulled into the parking lot of the arena, and Matt parked the car. When they got in, Shane was already waiting for them.
"Hey Jess." He gave her a hug. "The rings already set up and there's a trainer waiting for you."
"Who is it?" she asked.
"Why don't you go in and see." He teased.
"Okay. I'm on it. You guys be good." She looked at all three of them. "Remember, no more fighting." Jessica walked away.
She entered the auditorium. She walked up to the ring and put her hands on the rope. She couldn't believe she was doing this.
"Holy shit, it's really true." She heard a voice say from behind. She knew immediately who it was.
"Hey Ames."
"I can't believe you're really back." Amy said giving her hug.
"That's what everyone keeps saying. It's good to see you again."
"You too."
"Listen, I don't know what anyone's told you." Jessica started.
"Look, don't be upset but Stephanie already filled me in. She didn't want you to have to go through the whole story again. I understand, but I will tell you if you pull a stunt like that again, I'm gonna kick your ass. You have friends, a lot of us, and we will help you. Starting with me making sure you don't look like an idiot out there." Amy climbed into the ring. "Get in here. Let's see what you got." Amy and Jessica did a run through match. She could feel the ring rust coming off of her. Being back in the ring felt good. All the fear and pain she was feeling started to fade away. She felt the power. She felt like her old self again. She whipped Amy into the corner of the apron and performed a hurricanrana. She covered Amy for a pin.
"Uncle." Amy said and Jessica helped her up. "I don't know about being away from the ring for three years, but you haven't forgotten a thing. I think we're good here." Amy and Jessica climbed down from the ring and sat on the barricade.
"So how are you doing, really?" Amy asked after she caught her breath."
"I'm dealing, or at least trying to. It's been busy week." Jessica said looking to the ground.
"I can bet. If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to come back?"
"I don't know. At first I think I agreed just because of Shane and Steph's pressuring me. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it. I mean I'll admit that when I got there on Tuesday, I had second thoughts but I missed it. Even after what happened when I got home, I just don't see me giving up now. I guess I just want my life back."
"Are you scared?"
"Petrified. But its either I sit at home scared and waiting, or I do something. I mean it can't go on forever right? Sooner or later, they'll find him." Jessica tried to reassure herself.
"I knew you leaving had to do with something more than that Jeff thing."
"I'm not gonna lie. Finding out Jeff cheated on me killed me, but this guy knew what buttons to push. He knew I was vulnerable, he knew how to break me down. I just can't believe I actually thought that killing myself would solve all my problems."She could feel the tears building up again.
"Jess, please don't cry. You know I'm not good with tears."
"I know. I'm sorry." She wiped her eyes. "Damn."
"What?"
"I keep trying so hard to be strong. You know, put up a brave front, but the whenever I stop to think" her voice trailed off. "It's so frustrating. I want all this."She gestured to the ring. "I just don't want to feel so weak."
"So you like what, thought you'd come back and immediately be all, I am woman hear me roar? Christ Jess! You went through something extremely traumatic. No one here expects you to just dive on in and suddenly everything is roses. You take it one step at a time, and that's what you're doing. To me you are strong."
"I think you're gonna make me cry."
"Me too. Just don't shut me out okay?" Amy said with tears actually started to form on his face. "You were my best friend and then, when everything went wrong, I had no one to talk to."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too." They were both crying now. Jessica hugged her.
"What the hell is going on here?" They looked over to see Jay walking up to them with Adam following behind. "And why wasn't I invited?"
"We were just catching up." Jessica said.
"Well, there's no reason to cry ladies. Jay is here now."
"That's definitely a reason to cry." Adam said. "So what's going on? We got a call from Stephanie telling us to get here early."
"Oh, I haven't seen her." Jessica said. "I just came in to get some training in before tonight."
"You have a match tonight?" Jay asked.
"Yup, I got to get myself back in it so I can kick your ass."
"Never gonna happen babe. So I guess we're supposed to find Stephanie."
"That would probably best." Amy said.
"What are you trying to get rid of us?" Adam asked.
"Well, we're doing a little female bonding thing here, and I just don't think that's your thing. I could be wrong." Amy said.
"Well," Jay started with a wicked grin. "Will there be more hugging?"
"Get out of here!" Amy ordered and both boys mockingly sulked off.
"I forgot what a zoo this place could be." Amy said laughing.
"Do you miss it?" Jessica asked her.
"Sometimes. I've been lucky enough to have them ask me back every now and then, but I've really been focusing on my music. The band's doing great, so I've been keeping busy. I needed a change."
"How about on the dating front?"
"Not bad. I mean I was seeing this guy for a little bit, but I've been doing a lot of traveling with the band, so we kind of cooled off a bit. I can't complain. I think maybe I needed a break from guys for awhile too. How's it going with Jeff?"
"Strange. I mean neither one of us is looking for anything, but friendship. He's in a steady relationship, and I'm in no condition for any romance, but sometimes I have to admit you know that old feeling sneaks up. They stayed at my house last night, and I got to say the sight of Jeff walking out of my bathroom in a towel, took me back." She laughed. "But seriously, I think Jeff and I are just trying to make peace with each other."
"Have you talked about what happened?"
"Not really. I mean he apologized but we didn't go any deeper."
"Are you going to?" She asked.
"Eventually. I just think that with all that's been going on, this isn't the time, but we will. I don't think we can move forward as friends unless we do. I mean he's been really sweet and caring. He's helped a lot but there's always a point where what he did to me comes back. You know it's funny, when I thought I was gonna die, I forgave him. Now," She paused.
"Now you want answers. Trust me I know, even though I was on the other side. But if you really want to be friends again, you're going to have to let go. With a little punishment though, not public humiliation like me, mind you, but don't let him get away scot free."
"Do you miss him? Matt?"
"I miss the friendship part. I mean Matt and I talked it out and he doesn't hate me, but I miss the way we used to just talk about anything and it seemed like the deepest conversation in the world. Now, everything's strained." Amy got quiet as Jessica wondered about her and Jeff's relationship. What Amy had said got her to wonder if it was possible for them to actually be friends.
"You're wondering if this will happen to you and Jeff?" Amy asked reading her thoughts. She nodded.
"My opinion, I don't think so. Matt's a great guy, but Jeff's was always the more compassionate one. Matt thinks with his head, Jeff with her heart. Basically when Matt has a problem he goes for what is the most logical path. Jeff's different. He's grown a lot you know. He's not the same boy you dated. He's tried to stop running from his problems, stop being so self destructive." Jessica reflected on all that Amy had said.
"Basically, what you're saying is that I should give him a chance; take a leap of faith."
"Yea, but don't jump to high." Amy warned. "Ready for another round?"
"You mean you want more?" Jessica asked with a smile.
"I was being gentle. This time I'm not holding back."
"Then let's go." She jumped up and they entered back in the ring. They shook hands and went at it again.
