'A girl who didn't even cry'
'it's her father`s funeral, not a tear!'
'Maybe if he hadn't adopted that Doyle, maybe he`d still be with us'
'Shut up, it's not my fault, it's not my fault'
'That's right'
'It's Doyle'
'Maura, if you`d like. Why don't you come live with us for a little while?'
'Even if it was mine, I wouldn't take it after you`ve touched it Doyle'
'From now on Maura, you`ll be breathing the air from a higher place'
'Thank you … for wanting me'
'My daughter …I'm so proud of you'
'Alex?'
'Your mother loves you very much'
'My baby girl'
'Ok?'
Maura shot out of bed, her head spinning with images flashing in front of her, voices almost deafening in her ears. Maura tried to calm down as the dream settled in her head with her vision clearing, her eyes widened when the fog finally faded. This is not right, this can't be right. Wake up Maura wake up! This wasn't her room; this wasn't her dormitory, this room … this room…
She knows this room, faded posters of my pretty pony, pink wherever she looked. Maura could feel her blood rapidly moving across her body. Maura was still looking around the room when the door opened harshly reveling Jane with a tray in her hands. Jane's angry face quickly turned to embarrassment when she noticed Maura awake.
Jane walked awkwardly toward the night stand and placed the tray without speaking. Maura was still looking at Jane with a plank face. "I uhhh …. This" Jane pointed at the soup " it's supposed to make you feel better, something about antioxidants something something" Jane waved her hands around before dropping them back to her sides . Maura's eyes fixed on Jane's hands. Something just caught her attention in them. When Jane noticed this, she quickly shoved her hands into her pockets, broke eye contact and started studying the ground. Maura's hand twitched and that's when it hit her, the recorder was no longer in her hand. Maura started looking for it hysterically, raising the blanket and then throwing it away with her eyes trying to look everywhere.
Jane looked up when she felt Maura's quick change of behavior "hey, hey" Jane raised her hands trying to clam Maura, approaching her slowly as if approaching a scared animal "what`s wrong?" Jane said worried
"I have to find it, I can't lose it, and I just found it. I have to …" Maura blurred out as she kept searching on the bed for the recorder. Jane kept looking at Maura trying to make sense of what she was saying, something clicked in Jane's head and she quickly took out the recorder from her pocket
"You mean this?" Jane said quietly, Maura's movement stopped as her eyes landed on the recorder and she just froze "you had it back at school and I just thought…" Jane shrugged as she extended her hand offering the recorder to Maura. Maura took the recorder in slow motion before sitting back in bed with the recorder in her lap; Jane joined her by sitting on the edge of the bed, almost giving Maura her back. "Try not to stress out so much, you`re just going to end up giving yourself another fever" Jane said quietly before she let out a snort "hell, you already have a fever" she mumbled to herself.
Maura raised her head slowly from the recorder to Jane, her face was almost unreadable. Maura kept staring at her for a few seconds before she shook her head trying to gather herself " I'm sorry" came out a crispy mumble, Maura could barley recognize her own voice . Clearing her voice Maura tried again "I'm sorry for being such a burden, I`ll just show myself out. Thank you for everything" she said politely as she tried to get up from bed.
Jane opened her mouth to say something, anything to stop Maura from leaving when Maura lost balance and Jane caught her "you`re sick, you can barely walk. Trust me you`ll be less of burden if you just stay in bed"
"Hey honey, is Jane home yet?" Angela said as she put down a large grocery bag on the kitchen table, she turned to find Frankie standing in the door frame with a meaningful look "what?"
"yeah, she`s upstairs with her friend" Frankie said amused, Angela sighed at her son before she talked in a serious tone
"Frankie, what did I tell you about making fun of your sister? You know she gets upset about these things" Angela gave Frankie her back again as started arranging the grocery out of the bag. Frankie started giggling softly.
"no really, she`s upstairs with some girl" Frankie said giggling at his mother. Angela shook her head with disappointment, why would Frankie insist on continuing this lie?
Angela was yet to notice the distinct sent of leek in the air "what happened to my leeks?" Angela asked with her eyes narrowed at Frankie
"You might want to ask 'Maura', Jane's new friend" Frankie as a matter of fact. Angela was frozen, looking at her son with wide eyes before the Spaghetti slipped out of her hands. Angela flinched; the sound of the bag hitting the ground brought her back to reality. "You ok ma?" Frankie asked a bit worried.
Angela attempted a fake smile "yeah, I'm fine must`ve slipped out of my hand" Angela leaned down, reaching for the bag of Spaghetti and placed it on the table
Frankie continued with a proud tone "ok, so 'Maura' has been sick ever sense she came here. now here`s a puzzle for you: how would Maura know what happened to the leeks?"
"I`m sorry honey, just have to check of something" Angela said as she walked quickly out of the kitchen, taking the stairs as quickly as possible. She had to make sure, deep down she knew that it can't be. Still, she had to see for her own eyes.
Angela reached the second floor with her heart racing in her chest. she walked to Jane's room and reached for the handle "don't bother her, she`s sleeping" came a voice from the end of the hall. Angela turned to face Jane
"Sleeping?" Angela did still not comprehending anything
"Yeah, she slept after she ate" Jane said casually as she walked past her mother and head for the stairs. A light bulb turned on in Angela's head
"Oh? What did you give her?" Angela asked suspiciously
"Nothing, just leek soup" Jane said quietly as she started going down stairs. Angela squeezed her lips into a thin line to keep from laughing before she waited for Jane to go down stairs so she could just get a peak on her friend, just a glance would be enough to make sure that it wasn't her. Angela swallowed hard and turned the knob, she walked slowly to the bed side to get a better look on the girl lying on her daughter's bed. Angela gasped, placing a hand over her mouth to try and mute any sound. Her eyes widen when she found the blonde girl with pink cheeks sleeping with her lips slightly apart.
Angela felt her legs growing weak with her hands shaking, frozen, and unable to do anything. She fell to her knees to star face to face with this ghost. with a shaking hand she cubed the girl`s cheek and her eyes instantly filled with tears. she`s worm a sad smile found its way to Angela's lips, it not her imagination. Angela kept creasing her thumb on the girl`s cheek without even realizing it tell the girl`s eyes started filtering. Maura opened her eyes and all the colors drained from face. "Hi sweetie" Angela whispered gently, she leaned in placing a kiss on Maura's forehead. When she pulled away, Maura was still looking at her with wide eyes. "Don't I deserve another hug?" she said with a sad smile, her eyes filling with tears
The next thing Angela knew was Maura throwing her hands around her nick and holding on for dear life, Maura squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to wake up from this dream, it seems so far away but she could swear that Angela's perfume was still the same.
Angela pulled away to look at Maura's face, it was a mixture of longing and pleading , she could see the way Maura was fighting her own body so she won't cry . Angela placed a hand on Maura's cheek and Maura leaned to the touch
"Still acting tough, huh Maura?" Angela said gently, Maura sniffed not wanting to break "does Jane know yet?" Maura shook her head. "Do you want me to tell her?" Maura shook her head again. Angela sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed "what happened honey?" she said quietly.
"I don't know, it was fine but Doyle happened again." Maura said as she whipped angrily at a stray tear, she took a deep breath and started again "he gave me something; he said it was from my mom and I don't know what to do anymore. I want to listen to it but I can`t and everything is a mess, why can't I be normal for once. Why me? Why didn't she want me? What`s so wrong about me? Gad" Maura covered her face with both hands, trying to stop the sting in her eyes.
"Maura, listen to me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you ok? It's her loss if she didn't want you." Maura dropped her hands and let out a snort, it wasn't her mother`s loss as much as it was Maura's. Her mother wouldn't have lost anything. She can have another daughter if she wanted to, but Maura couldn't have another mother. Angela was the closest thing she ever got to having a mother, she`s not even sure if conscious falls into the category of a mother.
They both raised their head when they heard the door opening to find Jane standing at the door, fury written all over her face. Jane bit her lip, opened the door wider as if telling her mom to come out. Maura turned to look at Angela who got up and stepped out into the hallway with her daughter.
"I told you to leave her alone" Jane said angrily but with a low voice so Maura wouldn't hear her
"I know honey but Frankie told me and I just wanted to make sure..."
"What? You wanted to make sure of what? That I haven't brought home a serial killer? Is that it?" Jane's voice began to rise, she hated when her mother did this. Why couldn't she just leave her be?
"No, honey. It's not about that..." Angela tried lovingly when Jane cut her off again
"Yes it is! It's always about that, we can't even have a single conversation without bringing 'that' up. It's all you ever see when you look at me" Jane said with a biter tone
"Jane you know that's not true" Angela said seriously
"Oh yeah? Then tell me this, why is it that every time you look at me your eyes magically lands on my hands?" Jane shot back again, Jane clutching her jaw hard with anger.
"I …" Angela didn't know what to say
"That's what I thought" Jane said satisfied. Angela throws her hands in the air
"Jane would you just listen to me for once in your life!" Angela almost shouted
"Why? You never bothered to listen to me" Jane crossed her arms
"Hey guys, if you`re going to fight, you might want to keep it down before you give 'someone' a headache" Frankie's voice came from the stairs.
A wide grin spread across his face when his plan worked in silencing both his mother and his sister. He didn't understand why they fought all the time; he wished that things could just go back to the way they used to be before everything happened.
Jane and Angela kept staring at each other for a few seconds before they both pocked their heads into Jane's room. To their disappointment, Maura was now sitting on the bed looking at them with a blank face. Sighing, Angela gave Jane a slight smack on the head as she opened the door wider "now look what you did"
"Me? You were shouting too" Jane protested as they both walked into the room , Jane rubbing her head and a ghost of a smile found its way back to Maura's lips . Angela took the emptied dishes that was on the night stand
"I'll just go wash this and make some dinner, you two have some catching up to do" Jane looked at her mother with a questioning look, why was she giving them some privacy all the sudden? She never cared for it before. Angela gave Maura a meaningful look before she left the room leaving a confused Jane and a terrified Maura behind.
