"When I was a kid…" Jane started after staying in silent for a couple of moments waiting for Maura to say something, "I kept having …this nightmare about someone, a friend. a lot happened and I can't remember exactly what, but she came and stayed with us for a couple of days" Jane said quietly as she stared into the distant, almost giving Maura her back as sat with both shoulder slung forward . Maura listened quietly, waiting for Jane to continue "the day she left me …. You could see that I didn't want her to leave but there was nothing I can do to stop it" Jane paused closing her eyes for a second before reopening them " I`d dream that she was in some cold place all by herself and would look for her ,frantically …but in the end I never find her"

"Why..." Maura didn't even recognize her own voice; clearing her throat she tried again "why are you telling me this?"

"even after I wake up from that dream, I could still feel her there" Jane said as if not caring to answer Maura "it's been a long time since I dreamt of her, I have my own boogie man now and I almost forgot that dream … then I saw you looking at me" Jane turned her head to look Maura in the eyes challenging, daring her to say that it's not her.

Maura stayed there, wide eyes trying to say something but no voice could make it out of her throat "we all have fears Maura but at the end of the day we are forced to face them. I faced one of mine`s when I told you what I was meaning to say for days now and I think that you need to face yours" Jane said as she looked from Maura's eyes to the recorder. Maura swallowed hard but nodded, Jane made a weak smile before she got up and headed for the door

" Jane" Maura called from behind her, Jane stood in front of the now opened door " how did you know that it was me?" Maura asked curiously, a grin spread across Jane's face before she turned

"Your Google mouth gave you away" she said before exiting the room and leaving Maura once again with blushed cheeks. Taking a deep breath Maura turned her focus back to the recorder, she has to face her fear at some point right?

"hope, we won't be able to see her for a long time, you should tell her what you want her to know" paddy`s voice came mixed with pain and a sob was heard before another voice started

"Maura" the voice was so soft like silk sadness showing in its tone "eat well… don't be picky and eat to be strong. don't stay up late, it's bad for your health" the woman started coughing but continued with a weak voice" shower every night and take care of yourself" a sad giggle was heard " no wine `till you`re twenty! ….. Even then, don't drink too much it will ruin your body ok? Oh and another thing is boys, I'm a woman and still I don't know much about it. Just remember that the world is made of men and women, it's only natural to have an interest in the other sex…it`s ok." a wave of cough stopped the woman again

"Take extra care of your study... remember that everyone has a strong point and a weak point, so don't get upset if you can't do something ….respect your teachers and your classmates …. Have friends" the woman said in a pleading voice "you don't need a lot of them, just the ones you can really count on. I was never good at it but I hope you`ll be." a sob stopped the women from continuing but she held it together and spoke again, this time her voice finally cracking and Maura could hear the tears in it

"From now on… you`ll face a lot of injustice, be true to yourself…. Have a dream; don't stop until you reach it ….. there is more …more … more … much more I want to teach you" the woman choked on another sob " I wish I could stay with you" the woman said with a broken hearted voice " I love you"

And with that, the recorder stopped.


Jane was sitting on the kitchen island looking at her mother as she cooked dinner.

"Hey Ma?" Jane stopped fidgeting with her hands and looked up to her mother

"Yes honey?"

"Do you err remember Maura? From when I was a kid I mean?" Angela stopped moving for a second but continued normally

"Yeah. Why?" she asked with suspicion

" no reason" Jane shrugged , Angela was about to further ask Jane about what brought this up all of sudden when they both heard the front door slam shut . Jane quickly got up and went over to open the door only to see a glance of Maura making a turn at the end of the street " Maura!" Jane shouted after her before her herself started running after her "wait!" when Jane finally got to the turn Maura was nowhere to be seen. Jane stood catching her breath before she cursed under her breath


Keep running, don't look back

You don't belong there, that's not your life

Squeezing my eyes shut doesn't help in keeping the voices away as I run and run , not even caring about how exhausted my body feels or heavy . I can't even catch my breath and I've only been running for a minute or two. I can feel my body temperature raising, I can feel the beads of sweats running down my back but I can't stop. I keep pushing forward in hope that with a Miracle will escape from it all. I stop running, open my eyes and the villa is in front of me. This is my life now, no matter what I do, no matter what I say, I can`t change anything. You can't change the past... no one can. Sometimes I think that it would be easier if I could die, just stop existing but then I remember Alex. Why does his scarify have to go to waste just because a little brat thought about dying? It's childish anyway you tell yourself before shaking the thought out of your brain

" miss isles , you`re late today" the maid said with a polite smile " is everything ok?" Maura nods as she makes her way to her room and closes the door

I thought that if I became an isles I wouldn't have to remember any of it , that I will be able to let go of those memories …but I was in for a disappointment . Sometimes Alex would send me letters, letting me know how things were going. I never once written back, but I`d be overwhelmed by a depression that would last all day.

Every time I would get to my room and shut the door, I feel a stabbing pain in my heart as if all the bones in my body are breaking through my skin. I wonder when it was that I became burdened with something like this

Maura leaned on the door before she slowly started sliding to the ground. Maura rested forehead on her knees for a few moments, her hands clutching to the recorder in her hand.

I live alone and the nights feel long, reading isn't enough, TV becomes boring after a while. When I can't find anything to occupy my time, I'd walk to the nearby subway station and pretend that I was waiting for someone. When I finally get tired of that, I walk back her as slowly as possible

I had friends in my boarding school, but I found that other than when I was in the uniform I really didn't want to be around them. Come to think of it, in a country of millions… there wasn't a single person I wanted to see or talk to.

Maura raised her head, looking at the big, empty room. One day I woke up and I realized that it was my fifth summer since I became an isles, it was as if was holding my breath underwater …. Cold, deep water and it was like that everyday.

Hey mom? Is this the life you wanted for me? Did you give me up for this?

Sighing, Maura finally used what was left of her energy to crawl into her bed and closing her eyes, daring to hope that when she reopens them in the morning all of this will be just another nightmare.

i know , know long time no see and a short chapter . truly sad about that but i felt that there was no way to make it longer than this . perhaps next time . loved your reviews , keep them coming :)