A/N: How did this get over a hundred follows?
How?
High above Beacon Academy, Ozpin brooded.
There were many words people could and would use in place of brooding. Pondering was one; Reflecting, ooh, that was a good one. High above Beacon Academy, Ozpin reflected on recent events. Yes, that could work.
Except he wasn't reflecting. Ozpin was brooding.
High above Beacon Academy.
Anyway.
In this long tenure as Headmaster, many a questionable choice had been made. Lives hung in the balance every time he sent his students off to fight in a war they shouldn't have been forced to experience in the first place. Thoughts on the past that had no impact on the future were meaningless, but sometimes in the dead of night, Ozpin would sit up with a steaming cup of coffee and wonder if some of the decisions he'd made had truly been for the good of humanity.
Hiring Bartholomew Oobleck was one such decision.
The man was a capable historian; perhaps even the most capable on Remnant. He had much to teach, more than most could learn in their entire lives. And should the need arise, he was just as capable a Huntsman, in the best possible position to defend the future of their world.
But that was only when he was amped up on so much caffeine that he couldn't stop vibrating. The man took addicted to a whole new level, and with it came ground-breaking symptoms of withdrawal.
The students would always rebel at first. Not to the initial lessons; any who didn't know what Bartholomew was like while hopped up were generally too wide-eyed and idealistic (or just new to Beacon) to bother questioning his quirks, that came later. A lethargic Barty was the stuff of legends, the stories that older generations of students would tell their underclassmen while huddled around a campfire on a joint mission.
That shit was like finding the six-headed King Taijitu in Digi-Grimm Go. It just didn't happen.
No, even the most hardened caffeine addicts would find themselves signing a petition to keep coffee out of Beacon, or more specifically, out of Professor Oobleck. Apparently he became 'cool', and down with 'da kidz'.
According to Ironwood, he just became a bit of an asshole. And unfortunately, the parents of some of the more… disruptive warriors-in-training agreed.
Typically, one would think that if a parent is sending their child off to learn how to merciless slaughter things that go bump in the night, the general conditions of the lessons wouldn't be that big a deal so long as they stuck to certain guidelines. Ozpin had certainly had that thought when he had first taken the position of Headmaster… but maybe it was best to keep in mind that Ozpin wasn't exactly what most people would call 'in touch' with some aspects of reality.
Ozpin made his own rules. People knew not to fuck with Ozpin and his rules.
Unfortunately, overly concerned parents also made their own rules. And they were some of the loudest people to ever exist.
Far below his office, a coffee cup (that had a pretty blue flower on the front) sailed across the courtyard. Ozpin tapped his cane against the ground for lack of anything better to do, not turning away from the window as the doors to the elevator leading to his office opened.
"Ah, Barty." How he divined the identity of his latest guest was a mystery of the ages. He must have used some method of magical power befitting only that of a protagonist of a child's bedtime story. He certainly didn't just look at the reflection in the window due to having faced the window for the last five minutes simply so he could speak cryptically and uphold the mysterious image that he liked to perpetrate, shut up. "Please, take a seat."
Bartholomew Oobleck walked into the office like a man who had yet to actually wake up. Pulling a chair from under the desk, he settled his arms on the table, blinking blearily up at the headmaster of the esteemed Beacon Academy. "I'd rather stand."
"Wouldn't we all?" Ozpin took a sip from his mug; his empty mug. A thin wave of dust cascaded down his throat. Turning away from the window, he took a deep, fortifying breath and claimed his own seat, surreptitiously wiping the excess moisture from his eyes. "You must be wondering why I called you up here so early in the morning?"
Oobleck's forehead managed to get a solid few centimetres off the desk before it crashed back down with a hollow thud.
"Coffee?" He muttered in what could have been a hopeful tone.
Ozpin glanced down at the mug still in his hand, heaving a deep sigh and placing it out of conventional reach on his desk. The answer to the question was both obvious and too depressing to say out loud. "I've just spent the entire night and much of the morning locked in conversation with Beacon's Board of Directors."
"My condolences," Oobleck murmured into the wood beneath his mouth.
"Nothing could make me feel better, but I appreciate the effort." Calmly fishing a pen off his desk, Ozpin threw it off to the side, where it impaled a poster of a man wearing a stuffy looking suit. Some of the weight lifted from his shoulders; alright, so maybe there were things that could make him feel better. "Not naming any names, but certain people have expressed concern for how I decide whom to employ, and have made some unreasonable demands through the correct legal channels."
"They're abiding by the rules?" Oobleck finally peeled his face off the desk, looking a little bit more alive than he had when he'd first entered the room. It wasn't too surprising; in a world where the strong survived and running labour camps were how you got anywhere in the world, running things through the legal channels meant only one thing.
Attention. Very deliberate public attention.
"…Oh dear."
"Indeed." Ozpin lifted his glasses from his face in order to rub his tired eyes. He was no stranger to applying force in order to get his way, and being on the receiving end of it so often and for so long had built a tolerance and reputation few could hope to match. Headmaster of the illustrious Beacon Academy; an accomplished Huntsman of such prestige and capability that the mere appearance of his Semblance could be considered a sermon of the end times. "The battle was long and hard fought, but in the end I was only able to reduce the sentence to a full year."
His position wasn't crucial, but it was certainly important. His political standing was something that, for the sake of the world, could not be jeopardised.
"I'm afraid… you will have to seek alternate employment in that time period, effective immediately."
In much the same vein as Bartholomew Oobleck wasn't merely an employee, but also a treasured friend.
Said treasured friend was giving him a blank look, not unlike a student faced with a problem they had no idea of solving. Without the necessary Barty experience, Ozpin had his doubts that even he would have been able to see the gears turning beneath that untamed vines the historian called hair "…I see."
Oobleck was out of his seat and halfway to the door before Ozpin got the chance to open his mouth. Not surprising; they'd been in similar situations before, but never had it been quite this official. Normally it was a concerned caretaker of arbitrary political standing, not a coordinated assault of lawyers and other pompous positions that had never seen a Grimm in their life.
Still, he couldn't leave the meeting on those terms.
No matter the opposition, the Headmaster of the illustrious Beacon Academy made his own rules.
"Now, Barty, before you leave…" Oobleck's foot halted mid-air, the man somehow keeping his balance as he twisted at the waist to raise an eyebrow in Ozpin's general direction. If the both of them hadn't been suffering from a prolonged lack of caffeine, Ozpin may have been somewhat insulted at the lack of faith. As it stood, his smile merely held the barest shade of mischief as he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and hooked the handle of a suspicious looking suitcase with his trusty cane.
"I would like to ask a favour of you." With all the grace of a mob boss from a black and white film, Ozpin unlatched the case, opening the lid only as far as it needed to go before it could fall the rest of the way. "You see, I have all this lien in the bottom of my desk, saved up and equal to about a year's worth of your salary, I believe. I have no purpose for any of it, so would you perhaps mind taking a portion of it off my hands every week or so? Also, I don't want the student running out of things to do while you're away, so if you wouldn't mind sitting in on a few lessons every week and maybe talking to them about your passions, I would very much appreciate it."
Oobleck blinked twice, his lips taking their time as they slowly twisted into a very particular smile. It was an expression Ozpin had last seen on his face over a year ago, when Peter had insisted that just because there was a rule against mixing alcohol into the fruit punch at the graduation after-party, that didn't mean he wasn't fully within his rights while… repurposing three full bottles of liquors.
Because while a certain someone going against his son's wishes had gathered his allies together and protested Bartholomew's employment, they'd had absolutely nothing to say about where the man would stay or what he would do to pass his time.
It was almost like they wanted their loopholes to be exploited.
Oobleck shook his head once. Just once was sufficient to convey exactly what he was feeling, especially when in conjunction with the small smirk he was sporting. "Searching for employment could take up much of my time, but I shall do my best, Headmaster."
With a final nod, Bartholomew continued on his way to the elevator, no doubt planning to make his way down to Vale in search of a coffee shop that hadn't been forced to close mysteriously. Even with his information network, Ozpin had no clue how the students were managing that particular project. He just chose to be happy with the immense amounts of teamwork they were showcasing while doing his best to not break down crying over their shared goal.
Reaching for his mug, Ozpin caught himself just before his fingertips could brush against it, feeling the moisture build in his eyes once more and he threaded his fingers and pretended everything would be fine.
"…Excellent."
He wasn't fooling anyone.
XxX
Life as a Grimm in the forest of Forever Fall was a pretty sweet gig.
Being an Ursa Major in the forest of Forever Fall was an even sweeter gig. Mostly due to that diet of red sap that could be sustained from the trees in the deeper sections.
Sometimes, however, there were days when things wouldn't quite go to plan. Seeing as the plan on most days was to merely eat red sap and lounge on comfortable piles of leaves, having such a simple schedule be thrown off would be cause for alarm no matter who the victim was.
Yes, that even extended to our stalwart Grimm point of view character for this moment, whom for convenience sake shall be referred to from this point forth as Cuddles. Cuddles spent his days eating red sap and lounging around on comfortable piles of leaves, mainly because he lacked the opposable thumbs necessary to hold down a job for very long. And also because he liked to eat people. Because he was an Ursa Major.
Savvy? Good, let's move on.
Cuddles awoke that day like any other day; surrounded by lesser Ursai who only kissed up to him because he was the coolest guy in the forest. You know the types, they still walk around on four legs at all times and had never chewed through a layer of Aura in their lives.
Cuddles had no time for such basic bitches. So he packed up his claws, kicked the groupie who looked the least unconscious in the head, and was promptly on his way.
Cuddles knew his fan-club would catch up to him soon. Useless at life as they were, when it came to following around the one in the forest who had all the real skillz, their tracking ability was absurdly good. If they had ever shown any indication of being worth the oxygen they wasted on themselves in any other instance, Cuddles probably wouldn't have felt like he was the butt of some cosmic joke.
Cuddles was old, but he wasn't old enough to garner knowledge about the world outside his forest. So while he felt like the butt of a cosmic joke, he didn't quite know he was the butt of a cosmic joke. Baby steps, and all that. But that's beside the point.
What wasn't beside the point (some would say it was entirely the point itself) was the group of two-legs that Cuddles had just stumbled across while enjoying the view through two trees. They looked tasty, a nice palette cleanser for all the already delicious red sap he was used to consuming, but a second look revealed to him the weapons each were in possession of.
There was a lot of sharp shit on display on that forest path.
Cuddles didn't feel like being poked today. But, being the curious, almost sentient creature that he was, he decided to bunker down under the cover of the undergrowth and observe this strange exodus of… what did they call themselves? Oh, never mind.
The tail end of the group consisted of four hairless things, each looking more ridiculous than the last. Their clothing looked heavy and tough, but if Cuddles were a gambling bear, he'd put down his life savings on that little group being the easiest pray out of all of them.
The one with long, yellow hair was next in line. She smelled both divine and absolutely terrifying, though the look she was directing at the feline in front of her was definitely odd. The weapon being held by the small one was perhaps the scariest he'd seen in his long life, and a shiver went down his spine as he took in the impractical clothing being worn by the last of the group.
The third group looked interesting, but Cuddles' attention was diverted to the man and woman leading the way. They were… powerful. Inherently, scarily, mind-numbingly powerful. The kind of powerful that Cuddles had been lucky to escape once in the past, and only by the skin of his serrated teeth at that.
…Yeah, this congregation of morsels could pass through unmolested.
"Yes, students, the forest of Forever Fall is indeed beautiful. But, we are not here to sight-see! Professor Peach has asked all of you to collect samples from the trees deep inside this forest, and I'm here to make sure that none of you die while doing so. Each of you is to gather one jar's worth of red sap. However, this forest is filled with the creatures of Grimm, so be sure to stay by your teammates. We will rendezvous back here in two hours' time. Oh, and have fun."
None of the words the female monster was saying made all that much sense to Cuddles; he was too busy silently shitting himself upon noticing the green haired male's gaze being directed exactly where he was standing. He was frozen as the eyes shifted colour from the sky to the earth, only releasing the breath he had been holding in his ursine lungs as the little one with the most ridiculous pattern atop his head raised a hand and said… something.
"I no longer have the luxury of needing to grade homework in my spare time and I know for certain that one of you is useless. Therefore, I'm here to study the local flora while making sure the school doesn't get sued over the death of little Frankenstein or whatever other stupid name your parents managed to come up with."
General sounds of assent sounded from the clearing at that, and slowly, groups began to break away from one another. None were heading in Cuddles' direction, thankfully, and the Ursa Major lowered himself to all four paws as his somewhat developed brain went over what he knew.
Vaguely, he wondered if it would be imperative to warn the other Ursa in the forest of this intrusion, but the thought was soon discarded. The others hadn't lived for as long as he; if they were to have any chance to do so, they couldn't know, for if they did then they would go on the hunt. They had no conscious thought like he did, they hadn't been around long enough for that. Annoying as they were, Cuddles had no plans of endangering their lives like that.
With his footsteps as light as he could make them, Cuddles turned around, intent on making his way further into his territory and hunt down a nice tree to steal breakfast from. He hadn't eaten since early in the previous evening, and the longer he stood around, the greater the chances of his stomach giving him away grew.
He certainly hadn't expected the green haired man to be standing a scant few meters away from him.
Cuddles froze with one leg in the air, unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want to attack; without a group to back him up he would be slaughtered. But if he wasn't the one to charge, then the two-legs in front of him would.
Both he and the human blinked at the exact same time.
Cuddles' life flashed before his eyes in that moment.
He had no idea what to do.
The human slowly raised an arm, hand splayed out and twitching ever so slightly side to side.
"Greetings."
His eyes wide and eyebrows raised as best as his biology would allow, Cuddles did the only thing he could do.
He raised a paw and clumsily returned the gesture.
"Grargh."
XxX
Four cups of coffee and three Red Bulls later, a chapter has been completed.
I'm literally vibrating right now.
Send help.
(I've decided to cross-post my stories to SpaceBattles, so if you wanna go over there and theory craft, chat, yell at me through the computer to get off my ass and actually write new chapters, feel free.)
