hey its me again! hope you enjoy it :)

Maura was sitting alone in café near the old playground. She was flipping through her biology book. She came here often, though it brought bad memories she felt comfort in the familiar view in front of her. Once a loner, always a loner she thought.

"miss isles" Maura`s head snapped with the mention of her name to find a clear blue eyes staring back at her

"Oh! Hello" she said politely with a tight smile

"It nice to see you again" the man said with a smile. "Mind if I join you?"

"Well, actually I was just..." Maura started, gesturing at the book but didn't have time to finish as the man pulled a chair and sat down next to her

"Biology huh?" he said casually "do you mind?" he point at the book .Maura was stunt for a moment but quickly recovered and gave him the book with an embarrassed smile

"Wow, I remember this book. These were some days" he flipped through the pages "do they still make you dissect frogs?" Maura nodded "did you know that we had to dissect frogs in med school?"

"frog`s heart experiments "she offered nodding

"Not just the heart, muscles a well" he corrected, handing the book back "SMT, clonus, tetanus, stair case phenomenon. Personally, I was fantasied with the heart. The way it kept beating even after being removed from the body? I couldn't take my eyes off of it at first" Maura`s eyes lit up "wait, you`re not one of those girls who get sick and faint in the lab are you?"

Maura shook her head with a giggle "so, why did you pull the heart out?". Even though she felt uneasy about this man the first time, he spoke with such passion about this and she was slowly thinking she made a mistake.

"Well, we were supposed to determinate that the sinus venosus is the pace maker of the heart." he explained

"And how did you do that?" Maura couldn't help herself.

"err, it`s difficult to explain and I have someplace to be right now, perhaps some other time" he stood up politely and extended his hand "it was nice to meet you again Maura good luck with school"

Maura stood up as well and shook his hand "doctor Hoyt" Maura was just about to sit back again when she heard him call her again

"Here. My card, call me if you want to know more about the experiment. I'll be more than happy to explain it to you, preform it even if you have the stomach for it" he smiled as Maura took the card and read the fine print on it

"Why are you willing to do that?" Maura frowned with her eyebrows knitting together

"It's not often that you find a high school student reading a biology book willingly. I know a kid with potential when I see one" and with that, he was gone. Maura had a smile for the rest of the day , something in the back of her head was telling her that she needed to stay away from this man but she pushed it away . After all, he didn't do or say anything to make her feel this way toward him.


It`s been two months with no sign of Hoyt. Jane was nervous. The police assured her that if he was going to try something he would have done it be now but that of no comfort for Jane. There was still an unmarked car with her most of the day but she learned to ignore them by now. She would still see Maura in school, but not as much. It seemed that Maura had found something to busy herself with. she was reading all the time , and when she wasn't Jane would see her motioning her hands in the air as if trying to remember or practice something . She seemed happy. Jane didn't usually notice her fellow students , but there was something about Maura that different and even though they just had a few days together ,Jane couldn't help but miss what they had, whatever that was .

Maybe she was wrong in pushing Maura away she thought as she watched Maura walking quickly toward the gates as if she had someplace to be. She wondered what that sudden change was all about. She remembers the way Maura looked at her a few days ago when she bumped into her. It wasn't exactly 'accidental', Jane just wanted to test the water, see where they stood.

Jane felt her heart sink when Maura brushed it off as if Jane was a total Stranger, someone she never met before. There was no venom in her voice, no emotion under the surface when she apologized for the bump when it was actually Jane's own fault. the blond honestly seemed as though she didn't recognized Jane and gave a polite smile as she walked away , leaving a confused and shocked Jane behind her . is that what we are? Strangers?


I was on my disk again, writing a letter that I knew will never be read. No matter how hard I wished for the past to come back, no matter how much I longed for her nothing changes. I wish I could take it back but that would be too selfish on my behalf and haven't I been selfish enough? Haven't I hurt her enough? How could I set here and have the nerve to hope that she will ever forgive me. Not after what I did to her. Not after the way I treated her.

All I ever wanted was to make a mends

I was just an ambitious detective, I took my job very seriously and I would have done anything to get ahead in my field. When I was told me about my new mission, I knew that this was my ticket to the top. It was an undercover operation and all I had to do was babysit a stupid baby and was keep my eyes on the prize. One of my many rules was to not get attached which I thought couldn't be easier especially that it was Doyle's kid.

It was nothing like I expected, they gave me a little girl, just tiny bundle that looked at me with big hazel eyes. I saw pureness and I didn't see a Doyle. No matter how hard I tried to hate her, one look from her would melt my stoned heart.

She was so small.

And I was the only one she had.

I strayed from my path, from my mission and instead of keeping my eyes on prize, I found myself playing house with a little girl named Maura. I couldn't have enough of her smile, her laugh. I couldn't understand how this small creature could hold so much joy inside ,Before I knew it a genuine bond had formed between us. I cared for her, I worried, and I wanted her to have all the happiness in the world. In many ways I felt as though I had become her father.

She was almost four when I got the call. My superiors where not pleased. I had gotten too attached. I was ordered to either back off or be reassigned to a different case. I assured them that I had not forgotten my mission and that I won't compromise the mission anymore. My superior made a point by reminding me that this case could open lots of doors in my career.

"Alex?" came the hesitant voice of the small golden headed girl. I turned to see her standing in the doorway with her backpack, her big eyes silently asking if something was wrong

"welcome home Maura" just a simple word lit the little girl`s face and everything was alright again. I tucked her in that night and placed a kiss on her forehead, lingering there just a bit knowing that This was going to be our last day together like this.

I forced myself to see Doyle every time I was around her. The man I hated, the man who took my parents away. I reopened all my old wounds and sprinkled a bit of salt just in case, all so that I never, ever forget who I am and why was I there.

I can never forget the Pained look on her face the next day when I gave her the cold shoulder. Told her that she was all grown up and that she was going to live on her on. Much to my surprise, she simply stood there looking at me. I don't know if she didn't understand or if she was waiting for me to laugh and say that I was kidding. I felt her tine hands hold on to my right hand, her tears filled eyes were silently pleading me to stay but her mouth was still.

I pulled my hand free ignoring her whimper as she used all of her power to hold on to me and I left .

I can still see her, how small she seemed, watching me leave from the balcony, her small hands holding the bars of the railing.

The next day, she latched herself to my leg the second I was in the apartment. Her eyes were pressed shut and was holding on to my leg with all her power. "Alex, Alex I was scared please don't go again" her small voice came. All I wanted to do was pick her up and hug her but I stopped myself. I tried to pray her arms away but she kept crying and yelling 'I'm sorry' and 'don't leave me'. I gave up and stood straight taking a breath to compose myself.

" Maura , let go" the cold voice that came out of my mouth shocked me , Maura shook her head keeping her eyes shut . "let go of my leg now!" I saw Maura turn her head up to look at me with tears filled eyes and a confused look . When I didn't say anything else and stood glaring at her she let go of my leg slowly, never breaking eye contact, waiting for something but I didn't know what. I walked into the apartment and I talked her through all the new rules

Lock the door; never open it for anybody but me

Sleep early

I`ll bring food with me till she`s old enough to buy for herself

I`ll come by everyday every day turned to every month eventually. It was too painful for both of us

No hugging,

No crying, big girls don't cry I couldn't stand to see her cry. I know now that it was selfish of me, asking a small girl to lock her feelings away

She stood there looking at me like she was seeing me for the first time.

I kept looking out for her at first. Fallowing her to the playground, watching her play alone.

I was able to see many things that I couldn't see before, back when all I saw was her smile.

I saw the foolishness of others, their cruelty. I didn't do anything to stop it; I convened myself that it was for her own good. I told myself that the person they were going to reassign to Maura wouldn't have loved her the way I do, you can't protect something with all your heart until you love that person. Deep down I knew that it was for my own desire to not be away from Maura, my need to be near her and protect her.

It took some time but I finally learned to stop loving her, or so I thought. I was numb, I couldn't feel anything anymore and that made my job a lot easier.

She tried to reach out for me once; I brushed her aside as if she was nothing. How could I expect her to forget that? Or forgive?

I`ve always wondered who people could be so cruel to this little angel, thinking about it now I know that I have shown her the greatest cruelty of all. I took her trust and shattered it, always fooling myself that it was for her own good.


Take a person; strip him bare of his identity. watch him die a little bit every day and just when he`s about to give up on life pull the pieces back together. This time, shift them; mend them to your own liking.

Hoyt was smiling to himself as he watched Maura walk into his 'clinic'. she was bright , steady hand and he wasn't about to miss an opportunity to nurturing new hands , even though it still wasn`t clear on which side they`ll end up .

so what do you think? please review, i makes my day ;)