Chapter 23
When Jessica woke up everyone was still asleep. She gingerly lifted herself up, so she wouldn't wake Jeff. She walked over everyone and headed into the kitchen. After making a cup of coffee, she went outside to survey the damage. She walked up and touched the charred remains of the ring. Just the day before they had all been happily jumping around in ring, now it crumbled to the touch.
This was her fault, she thought to herself. A part of Matt and Jeff's childhood was gone because of her and instead of being there to support them she freaked out and yet again they had to take care of her. She was tired of feeling so weak and unable to control her emotions.
"You know Jeff would kill you if he knew you were out here alone." Shannon said coming up behind her.
"I just needed some air."
"Want to talk about it?"
"I don't know what to do. I mean, right now I'm angry. I just want to hit something. I want to hit him. But whenever he does something, I can't deal. I have all this rage inside me but when it really matters, I can't do anything. I just freeze up and it doesn't help anything. What the hell is wrong with me?"
"Jess, there's nothing wrong with you. All of this is normal. I wish I had the right answer for you but I don't. You just have to believe that you can get through this; that you will get through this. No one expects you to stand up and lead the charge. You just have to realize that." Jessica just shook her head at him.
"I just feel weak. The only action I acted on was to try to kill myself."
"And that's why you're angry, but you're wrong. You're directing your anger at you when the person you should be angry with is him. In a moment of weakness, you made the wrong choice but that doesn't change who you are. What you've come back from is amazing, but it's not over. I know he's taken a lot from you. It's time that you start taking some of it back. Don't let him change you. I want you to always remain the sweet and compassionate Jess that we all grew to love. You are not weak; you are strong and don't let him make you forget that."
"Thank you." She said and hugged him. "When did you get so smart?"
"Unfortunately it comes with age but keep it to yourself. I got a rep to protect. Now let's get back in before Jeff wakes up and has a heart attack that you're not there."
They went inside and sat down in the kitchen for breakfast. Gradually everyone started to wake up and join them in the kitchen. Soon only Jeff was still asleep.
"You know, someone should wake up sleeping beauty. We need to figure out what we are gonna do." Matt said.
"I got it." Jessica said and went to the living room. Jeff was still asleep on the couch. She leaned down and kissed him. His eyes opened.
"Morning." She said softly.
"Hey. Is it morning already?"
"Actually it's almost eleven. We let you sleep."
"Well, thanks for waking me up." He sat up and looked around. "Where is everyone?"
"In the kitchen. You better act fast. Shannon's eating everything in sight."
"Yea he would. You okay?"
"I'm working on it." She smiled at him.
"Well let me see if I can help." He wrapped his arms around her and they kissed again. "You know, I'm not really that hungry, and uh…" His voiced trailed as she kissed him again.
"As tempting as that sounds, everyone's waiting for us. Matt's in his meeting mode."
"Matt sucks." Jeff said unhappily.
"Let's go." She said and dragged him into the kitchen. "Look who's awake."
"Hey man. I think there's some cereal or something left but we finished the milk." Shannon said to him.
"Gee, thanks." Jeff said and grabbed a cup of coffee. He sat down next to Jessica. "So, now what?"
"Well, someone's got to call Vince." Matt said.
"I guess I can do that." Jessica said. "Besides, I might have better luck calming him down."
"True." Matt said. "There's still a patrol car outside so I think we're fairly safe. I don't think we should go out though. Well at least not Jessica or Jeff and I don't think they should be left alone."
"Why not? You said it yourself, the cops are right outside. If you guys have things you want to do go ahead. Jess and I will be fine here." Jeff told him.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere." Matt said.
"Me too." Shannon said and winked at Jessica.
"You guys." She started. "We're not going to hide in this house. I want to go out."
"What?" Matt yelled.
"I want to go out. We're off from work; we are not going to sit in the house all day. I for one think we should have a little fun."
"You're joking right? What about what happened last night?" Matt asked her.
"That's exactly why we should go out. I'm not hiding anymore." She said.
"Jess, this guy set fire to my backyard."
"I know, so we have to go out, get some supplies, and fix it back up."
"Honey are you sure you want to do this?" Jeff asked her.
"Absolutely." She looked to Matt. "We can all go together. Please I need to do this." Matt looked uncertain.
"I don't know Jess."
"Okay, so how about this. I'm gonna go get dressed and then talk to Vince. While I'm doing that you can go talk to the cops outside and get their opinion then we can go."
"And what happens if they don't think it's a good idea?"
"Then I guess we all stay here and get drunk… Again."
"We don't have much liquor left." Shane said.
"Well then that settles it we go out." Shannon joked.
"You're not funny." Matt said. Jessica went over to him and hugged him.
"Come on Matty, you know you can't say no to me." She smiled till he finally smiled back at her.
"Go get dressed." He relented.
"Anyone want to come with me?" She looked to Jeff.
"Well, Matt did say you shouldn't be alone." Jeff said and they left together.
"You know what they're going to do up there." Shannon said opening the fridge again.
"Shan shut up and stop eating all our food." Matt said. He left the room and went outside to the patrol car.
Jeff looked out the window and watched his brother head to the car. He turned and went into the bathroom where Jessica was taking a shower.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked her.
"Jeff, I told you. We're not gonna hide out." She said over the shower.
"I'm just not sure it's safe."
"It's probably not but it will send him a message." She said turning off the water. She wrapped a towel around her and stepped out of the shower. "Look, I know everyone's worried. We'd have to be stupid not to be, but I'm tired of doing nothing but being scared. So, I have to." He smiled at her.
"What happened to you? Last night you were a wreck."
"Believe it or not I talked with Shannon. He helped me see some things that I had been missing."
"Like what?"
"Me. I'm not saying I'm not gonna loose it again, I probably will. I'm just not going to sit around and wait for my next freak out."
"And you got all this from talking to Shannon?"
"Yup. He told me start taking back some of what he's trying to take from me. So, last night he took away the ring. Today we rebuild it."
"What do you know about rebuilding a ring?" He laughed.
"Well I do know that it takes four guys, some supplies, and me lounging in the sun supervising" She smiled.
"Supervising?"
"What? You didn't think I'd actually do manual labor with four strapping guys around? I'm just gonna sit back and watch the glistening muscles."
"Really?"
"Yea. I noticed Shanny's been working out."
"Oh that's it" Jeff laughed. He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
"Jeff put me down!" She shrieked as he tossed her onto the bed. He pressed his body on top of her, and again their lips met. Her hands ran up his back going under his shirt and raising it. He looked down at her.
"Are you sure?" Jeff questioned her. She kissed him back in response and that was all he needed as he opened her towel.
