Here`s another one guys , this one was a bit dificalt to write . I wanted to put some events that are taking place in the present , as well as events from mauras past however I couldn't find a place for jane in this one , hopfully in the next one . just a few more chapters to go, I hope you wont be diaapointed .

I thought about her today.

I saw a couple of moms with their kids, probably coming back from preschool. I smiled to myself as I remembered how the idea of preschool entered little Maura mind.

"Alex, come on you`re going to miss it!" she shouted from the balcony. "Alex!" she shouted again before she ran to the living room, trying to drag Alex by his t-shirt. "Come on, get up" she grunted between gritted teeth as she put her entire energy in trying to pull the large body off the couch. Alex chuckled at the attempt, her little feet slipping back every time she tried to take a step forward .she huffed and climbed the couch, this time using her entire body weight to try and push him off the couch, she growled and pushed harder, her face starting to turn red from the excretion.

"Okay, okay. I`m up , what is it?" Alex stood up and looked down at a three year old Maura, Maura grabbed hold of two of his fingers, the pinky and the pointer finger and pulled him toward the balcony

"See?" she pointed to a group of women holding toddlers and chatting as they walked downs the street "I saw them a week ago, they went that way and then came back with no children" Maura looked dead serious, as if telling a scary story. Alex faked a gasp trying hard not to smile. Maura turned back to the balcony, watching from between the steel bars with a serious expression, Alex couldn't help but smile at this

"I think there`s a preschool down the street, that might be where they're going everyday Maura. Now come inside before you catch a cold" Alex walked back to the couch but kept an eye on Maura, who stayed a couple more minutes staring out the balcony before she finally came inside and closed the glass door.

"what`s a preschool?" Maura stood blocking his view of the game

"uhhh, it`s a few hours of freedom for grown-ups. Kids go to this place to play and learn with other kids while their parents go to work and stuff" Alex answered absentminded, trying to catch a glimpse of the game past Maura's shoulder.

"Can I go?" Alex caught Maura's face which was beaming with excitement

"No" Maura frowned

"But I'm a kid" she explained

"Well, not all kids go there. I don't have to go to work, so you don't have to go to preschool. So there you go" Maura's frown deepened, apparently not liking what was said

"But I want to go" Maura whined, Alex sighed and turned off the TV.

"Come here" Alex motioned to Maura who reluctantly took a few steps closer to him before he pulled her into his lap "Maura, kids go there for hours. They have teachers that tell them what to do and what not to do, wouldn't you prefer if you stayed home with me? Beside, I'll be here all alone if you did" Alex talked softly, obviously trying to guilt walk little Maura, who stayed quite for a few minutes thinking things through

"I still wanna go" Alex burst out laughing


"Maura Isles" detective Korsak put up the photo of the honey blond on the board "daughter to Arthur and conscience isles. Adopted at ten, lived in France, recently changed schools from France to Boston"

"any specific reason?" asked Cavanaugh

"None that I can find, straight a student, no complaint was ever made by any teacher or student. School says that she was quite, kept to herself"

"So why the sudden change?"

"Contacted the school, they say that the mother thought it would be better for the kid to continue her education back here."

"Adoption files?"

"Sealed"

"Damn it, what about Crowe? Does he have anything for us?" Cavanaugh leaned back into his chair, they had nothing. Korsak pulled his notebook from his pocket

"Not much, apparently this kid doesn't get out of the house a lot. the interesting thing is , Crowe said he lost track of her three times in the same week , each time around five and each time he found her an hour later heading home" Cavanaugh grunted and throw his head back in frustration

"so, she`s messing with us"

"That's how it looks"


An annoying beeping sound pulled Maura from her slumber, the mattress felt weird; she grunted and rolled on her back before opening her eyes. A familiar celling stared back at her, her eyebrows started knitting together. It wasn't her bedroom ceiling. She turned her head to the left, the large wooden closet stood right where she remembered it. No, this can't be right. She sat up slowly in bed, looking around in the all too familiar bedroom. The constant beeping sound almost deafening to hear, she tried to push it into the background and listen for other sounds nearby. There! A faint boiling sound seemed to be coming from outside the bedroom. She got up and walked slowly to the kitchen, nothing seemed out of place. It was the same apartment she remembers, the one from her nightmares.

Reaching the abandoned kitchen, she noticed a pot siting on the small torch, the source of the boiling sound. Swallowing, she walked up to it; she already had a good idea about its contents yet too scared to admit it. one glance into the pot and she`s taking clumsy steps back. This wasn't real, she was dreaming, she had to be.

A door closed and her head snapped in the direction a seven year old Maura walked into the kitchen, heading straight to the pot. Maura gasped and raised one hand to her mouth, the other holding her abdomen tightly before a strangled sob made it's was way out of her throat. Little Maura turned off the oven before placing a bowl in the sink.

Maura felt her knees go weak as more sobs threatened to break, her eyes already stinging. The little girl didn't seem to notice her as she grabbed a cloth and carried the pot to the sink where she poured its contents into the bowl.

"gotta love instant noodles right?" Maura's head snapped to the voice. Next to her she stood, arms crossed in front of her, leaning on the wall. A proud grin plastered to her face as she watched the little girl move around in the small kitchen, her blood shot eyes never leaving the small child. The little girl opened a drawer near the other maura. Maura watched as she stroked the little girl's cheek lightly, the small kid didn't seem to notice this as she kept digging into the drawer before producing a fork and walking back to her noddle.

"She can't feel us" Maura whispered to herself

"No" came the reply "it's a memory" she nodded toward the small child direction, sitting on the table, waiting for the noodles to cool off.

"I'm dreaming "Maura stated, the other girl let out a soft giggle, her eyes still trained on the child

"If you say so" came the amused tone

"What is that supposed to mean?" the other girl simply shrugged. Maura eyed her suspiciously "why aren't you trying to hurt me?" the other girl shrugged again a smirk slowly forming on her lips. The girl moved in slow lazy manner till she was facing Maura, she leaned in to whisper in Maura's ear

"Somethings are better left unsaid" she pulled away to look into Maura's confused eyes "you don't remember do you?" this seemed amusing to the other girl

"remember what?" the beeping sound had now dulled into a background sound , the other Maura walked over to the little girl that was now eating her noodles in silence , pulled a chair and sat across the table from her . Her eyes studying the little girl

"You never allowed it to show; always kept it under the surface" she seemed as if she was telling a story "just kept bottling it in, every time those kids mocked you, every time the adults yelled at you. you just gave in , you let them walk all over you" her hands on the table starts balling into fists " I wanted to beat the crap out of each and every one of them . I wanted them to pay , I wanted them to suffer as we did" she looks up to Maura " I wanted to kill them" she hisses and the look of pure hatred in her eyes lets Maura knows she means it " you kept beating yourself every time , trying to convince yourself that they had every right to treat you the way they did , they didn't ." her jaw is tight , the words making it through gritting teeth , coming out almost as growls " those assholes kept coming up with new ways to hurt us , you gave up without a fight . Let them have their fun on your expense, I hated you for it but I waited. " the girl got up and walked in Maura's direction "I gotta say, it was worth it. All these years waiting, keeping that anger inside finally payed off" the girls smirk grow bigger and bigger.

Maura blinked and the room zoomed out of focus, she watched as another scene unfolded before her eyes.

Maura recognized her mother sitting near a hospital bed, her eyes were puffy and she looked as if she hadn't slept for days .she seemed shell shocked but still managed to keep her composure. She was holding into the hand of the person lying in the bed. She forced her eyes off of her mother, it felt weird seeing her mother like this .she always had things to do, place to be, sitting motionless near a hospital bed was never on her to do list. Seeing her so still could only mean that whatever happened had taken its toll on the older woman. Maura didn't want to look and see who was in the bed, too scared of what it might mean. in Maura's mind there was only one person she could think of, one person that meant so much to her mother that she might throw away all of her obligation for .

She expected to see a much larger body on the bed, her fathers to be exact. But instead she saw a small frame, hooked to tubes and machines too many to count. She finally understood the beeping sound when she saw the ECG. A breathing tube obstructed her view but even that didn't stop her from seeing that the girl lying in bed didn't have much life left in her.

"You need to wake up soon" her mother brought the limp hand to her lips kissing it softly before holding it to her heart. Maura stared at her own hand "honestly, all that sleeping is doing nothing to your hair" her mother reached her free hand to crease the honey blonde locks that laid in a tangled hollo on the pillow

"I don't feel it" she whispered, she turned to the girl standing behind her "why can't I feel it?" the other girl shrugged

"You`re not attached to it anymore" Maura felt her throat contracting, her lungs didn't seem to operate, the air was too thin, she panted, desperately trying to push air into her lung.

'"it's not real, it not real' she chanted as she backed away from the view in front of her, fear almost numbing her limps. She stumbled and waited for the hard floor to meet, a splash echoed in her ears as she fell into freezing water. The beeping sound accelerated, she looked at the view above her as her mother got up and started yelling for help. her lungs burned as she fumbled helplessly but the water kept pulling her further and further away from the surface, the beeping sound no longer racing but a single constant tone .


Maura gasped, sitting up in bed coughing. She looked around the room when she finally calmed down, she wasn't in Boston anymore, and she was in her parent's villa in Europe. She took a deep breath, was it all a dream? Going to Boston, meeting an adult Jane Rizzoli, did she dream all that?

"That was a close call" came the voice, she turned to find the red eyed Maura at the door with an amused smirk "seriously, you could`ve died just now" she laughed

"WH-what happened?" Maura stuttered. The girl walked in and sat near Maura on the bed

"you stopped breathing is what happened" the girl raised a single finger pointing up before Maura heard the calm beeping sound again "there , all better" the girl got up before looking around , biting her lip in concentration "ah! Arthurs study. Come on"

The girl made her way through the villa with Maura in tow "hey, why are you doing this? I mean, why aren't trying to hurt me?" Maura asked as she eyed the girl who seemed eager to reach the study.

"Hey, I'm offended here. Why would I want to hurt you?" the girl said in a light tone, earning herself a glare from Maura "oh come on, I was just messing with you, just a little bit" she joked but Maura kept glaring at her. The girl ran her fingers through her hair and kept walking, her face changing into a serious expression "I'm not the bad guy y`know? I`m not a demon that's haunting you, I'm just you" Maura seemed confused "well technically, kind of, sort of." she chuckled nervously

"what`s that supposed to mean?" Maura glared again, the girl sighed and scratched her head

"let's see , how do I put this" the girl was talking to herself more than Maura at this point "ok, let's just say that your brain thought I'd be fun if it formed all of your unprocessed emotion into a single figure , that figure being me" the girl waited for a sign of recognition from Maura

"Well that doesn't make any sense "Maura was obviously not convinced

"And did anything make any sense since you woke up?" Maura seemed to consider her answer

"No" she breathed out reluctantly as she rubbed her forehead.

"Alright, now come on because I don't want to miss this" a childlike spark appeared in the girl eyes before she hurried her steps. "Oh, and you can call me red"

"Red, the color red?"

"I think it's suitable" the girl pointed to her eyes "beside its better than having you call me 'hey' all the time it gets on my nerves"

Arthur was sitting on a chair, leaning forward to look closely at the chessboard in front of him as he rubbed his chin in concentration. the tip of his fingers were just closing on the knight when his eyes caught something moving at the slightly jarred door , he smiled to himself before his eyes returned to his game . Another movement at the door and he almost chuckled

"it`s not polite to stand behind doors. Would you like to come inside child?" he heard a whimper at the door before it opened completely, reveling a terrified small Maura. Her hair was framing her face as her tiny hands played with her pajamas top and her eyes were staring at her feet, she was in trouble now

"Sorry" she mumbled, still looking at the floor

"What are you sorry for?"

"They told me not to disturb you while you`re here" the girl was turning red as if she was caught stealing

"It's quite alright" he nodded in acknowledgment "shouldn't you be sleeping by now?" he moved another piece

"yes sir" she answered in a small voice, Arthur could hear the sadness when she spoke, the fear with each movement, as if she`s scared she might do or say the wrong thing.

"and why aren't you in bed?" he asked patiently , it had been a while since they brought Maura home , but the little girl preferred to hide in her room when she wasn't with privet teachers that conscience picked to teach her `how to act like a lady` is how his wife puts it . the couple had recently stopped fighting about the kid so Arthur thought it would be for the best if his wife did whatever it was she found suitable , as long as he does not return at the end of the day to another fight , he was all for it

"I can't sleep" Maura answered nervously, still fumbling with the fabric in her hand.

"I see" Arthur leaned back in his chair "do you know how to play chess Maura?" the girl shook her head

"my wife, she doesn't like to lose" he chuckled "It`s not the same, playing alone can get quit boring. What do you say, can you humor an old man?" the little girl nodded "alright then, come her let me teach you how it's done"

Maura and red were standing by the large window looking at the interact, as Arthur placed a chair for Maura and started explaining to her how the game works.

"You loved him" red whispered

"I did" Maura whispered back as they watched the little girls pajama and Arthurs cloths changes over days. Red laughed

"You used to stay up late just so you could play chess with him" Maura gave a soft giggle of her own before nodding "remember the holidays? You could barely open your eye when you came back home but you still had the servants sneak you coffee"

"I loved everything about him" tears gathered in Maura eyes "I don't want to be here anymore" she whispered.

"Not until the best part comes" red smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest

The images of little Maura and Arthur disappeared and were replaced by an anxious Arthur, tapping his fingers impatiently. A fifteen year old Maura walked into the room, Arthur offered a nervous smile motioning to the chess board, Maura did not return the smile but she did however walk over to the table and sat down

"I was afraid you wouldn't come" Arthur made the first move on the board. Both keeping their eyes on the board.

"I didn't know if I should" Maura answered quietly. They sat in silence, neither knowing what to say.

Maura turned her back to the scene, choosing to stare out the window as the pair continued to play .she`s been there once and she had no desire in reliving the experience

Ten minutes later Maura's voice broke the heavy silence

"I worshiped you" she whispered "you were my hero" Arthur looked up with a heartbroken look, but his daughter kept her eyes trained on the board.

"your mother tells me that you decided to head back earlier than expected" Arthur tried "are you sure it`s what you want?"

"I worried myself sick every time you were late, I feared that something might come up at work and I won't be able to spend time with you" Maura whispered again before she shook her head " I didn't know" she shook her head trying to get the image of her father and her best friend mother out of her mind

"I told you about my trip, perhaps I'll come visit you before I leave" he tried to change the subject with a light tone

"No, don't come" Maura said firmly

"Maura" he pleaded

"no .I don't want to see you, it`s what I came to tell you. It`s my only request"

"I understand" Arthur finally answered

The room finally faded and she was standing near the hospital bed again. Conscience seemed worse than before, it seemed as if the possibly of losing her child had finally caught up with her.

"You chose to run. Can't say I was surprised"

"What did you expect me to do?"

"A kick in the balls would`ve been a good start, instead of simply agreeing to what he said. That's the thing with you, you don't fight back. That didn't change; you just allowed things to happen to you. It's what got you here in the first place, believing you`re helpless when you`re not." Anger started surfacing in red tone " whats funny is how you keep putting your trust in the human race. how many times do you need to be screwed over before you get the lesson?" she bursts

"Please, please wake up" her mother whispered "you can't leave now, not now. We have to set things right, I need to set things right" she whispered the last part to herself

There was a knock on the door and all three heads turned to watch none other than Angela Rizzoli walking inside the room with a bouquet in hand and two cup of coffees balanced in the other "jane`s mother? What is she doing in here?" the beeping sound increased in volume, making it impossible to hear anything. Maura can see Angela talking with her mom, handing her a cup of coffee before pulling a chair. Their lips moved but all Maura's ears heard was the beeping sound . they both looked tired , though Angela was smiling Maura can see that it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes had a hint of pink around the edges .

"No, no no. I want to hear this, turn it down!" she shouted to red who throw her hands in the air

"it`s not a TV set" red yelled back red rolled her eyes

"Well do something!" Maura shouted and leaned closer

"Fine, you know what" suddenly they weren't in the hospital room. Whiteness engulfed them, nothing but blank white surrounded them

"Why'd you do that for?" Maura shouted furious

"Because this isn't a game! Do you even understand that you are dying? Dying" red walked over to Maura, stepping into her personal space "and I for one , am not here for your amusement" she whispered in a dangerously low voice locking eyes with Maura "you kept thinking what a shitty life you had , how much of a prison your life was . Now you can do something about it. Now you can finally stop whining and take matters into your own hands" red stepped away from Maura "wanna die? My pleasure" red snapped her fingers and everything turned black.

Can you guess what Angela was doing in the hospital? Don't forget to leave a review , tell me what you think