The blaring sound of Alex's phone alarm cut through the quiet and she groaned, pressing the pillow over her head. She was usually fine with mornings but it had been a rough night to be sure. Heaving a sigh, she forced herself to reach over and grab the offending phone from the nightstand and squint at the time.
"Shit," She muttered, sitting up, snagging her glasses from the nightstand. It was already 7:15. Apparently, she'd slept through the first alarm she'd set and hit snooze to boot. It had been no easy feat to go to sleep with Piper literally entangled with her and any attempt Alex had been to gently move away had been meant with the blonde only snuggling in further. Eventually, Alex had given up and resigned herself to the fact she wasn't going to get much sleep but she'd drifted off at some point.
Normally, she was not a cuddler and truth be told, she didn't usually believe in sticking around, basking in the after glow. It wasn't as if she kicked the girls out, she wasn't that cold, but since she didn't do sleepovers, she'd usually nip the cuddling in the bud before it happened by jumping out of bed immediately after sex, offering whoever she was with a drink or suggesting they take a shower. If more sex ensused, great, but not the other stuff.
She had had a hell of a time keeping her hands to herself. It wasn't as if she would've taken advantage of her (Piper was out cold, after all) but she had to admit, she seriously thought about cuddling back. She would have been lying if she'd said it didn't feel good to be held so closely. It had been a long time since she'd been with anyone and while it obviously wasn't the same thing, it was nice to have that closeness again. All she would've had to do was roll to her side and take Piper into her arms. God help her, she had wanted it. And it should've felt strange to want it, since she never had before but it didn't. What the fuck was wrong with her?
Piper, she immediately thought, rolling over as she made the connection. She came face to face with the pillow and an empty space where the other woman had been just a few hours prior. .
Getting out of bed, Alex walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door."Piper?"
She was met with silence. And it was then, sleepily stumbling over to the dresser to grab clothes (because she was going to be late if she didn't move her ass), that Alex saw the note, scribbled down haphazardly on hotel stationary.
She picked it up, her eyes scanning it quickly.
Dear Alex,
First off, I want to apologize for last night. Parts of it are still fuzzy but I do remember I acted like a jerk and I'm so sorry. I want you to know I don't usually get that wasted. I just wanted to celebrate with you guys, and I ended up making an ass out of myself.
Also, thanks for taking such good care of me and letting me crash. You totally didn't have to be so nice but I appreciate that you were. I value your friendship. All of you, really, but yours in particular because you could've seen me as an outsider but instead you showed me the ropes and made me feel completely comfortable. That means more than you'll ever know.
Hopefully, last night doesn't make you think any less of me, (although you guys may think twice about inviting me out again!). I promise I won't do anything that stupid again and I can't wait for the rest of the tour. This is really the chance of a lifetime and I won't screw it up, I swear.
Thanks again for everything. See you later.
Piper
For the second time that morning, Alex sighed. It was all getting so fucking complicated. And she didn't do complicated. None of it was Piper's fault; her feelings were the ones confusing the shit out of her. She just wasn't that person who got all weak kneed and sentimental over anyone, let alone a straight, engaged woman who was in her band. To be honest, she felt a little out of control over the whole situation, how Piper made her feel. That wasn't what she was used to and it was kind of terrifying.
Shaking her head, Alex put down the letter and set out to find something to wear. She only had twenty minutes to get ready, get appropriately caffeinated, and meet the others downstairs to jump on the bus. Thinking about what could have been would do her no good.
As she was ready to step out the door, her phone rang. Looking down, she smiled and even though she really only had five minutes to spare, she answered any way.
"Hey Mom," Alex had completely forgotten her promise to call after the concert. "How are you?"
"Hey baby," Diane's familiar voice eased her frazzled nerves like it always did. "Just checking in before I go to work."
"I don't have long. We're going to jump on the bus soon but I'll call you as soon as we get to Chicago," The brunette told her apologetically.
"I won't keep ya then. Tell me quick though, I gotta know, how did the concert go? How was your new lead singer?"
"It went amazing. Like crazy good. The crowd was awesome...and our lead singer... She's incredible. We were so lucky to find her. She learned all of our music in literally two days and she's...let's just say she's going to be a star. With or without Solitary Confinement."
"That's so great, honey. I'm so freakin' happy for ya. Now what's this star to be's name?"
"Piper."
"Ah, nice name," Diane replied causally. "And is this Piper aware that you have a thing for her or..."
"Mom!" Alex protested loudly, grabbing her suitcase from the closet,"I do not have a"thing" for her. Or for anybody, for that matter. God. Why would you think that?"
Alex could picture her mother shrugging. "The way you said her name. You forget, Al, I've known you for thirty five years. You got this tone in your voice when you started talkin' about her. You-"
"Listen, I don't have time to discuss this right now, OK? And even if I did have a "thing" for Piper, which I don't,"she added emphatically, "It wouldn't matter because she's straight. And not only is she straight but she's engaged. Not only is she engaged, she's my bandmate, Mom. You know what a fucking mess it was when Lorna left Nicky. I'll never compromise this band again. Not for anybody."
"I get it, sweetie, I really do, but please, promise me, you won't close yourself off to possibilities. You work too hard, Alex. What good is fame and fortune when at the end of the day, you don't have anyone to share it with?"
"Seriously, Mom, I'm good. I have everything I want...I'm getting everything I want right now," Alex corrected herself, holding the phone between her chin and her shoulder as she shoved clothes into the suitcase at record speed. "Love is the last thing on my mind. With anyone."
Diane laughed. "Whatever you say."
"I gotta go. I'll call you later?"
"I'll be counting on it. I miss you, honey." Her voice sounded wistful and Alex swallowed past the huge lump that had formed in her throat.
"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk to you later. Love you."
"Love you too, baby."
Hanging up, Alex slipped her bag over her shoulder and headed downstairs. "Fuck," She realized she only had five minutes and it probably wouldn't have been prudent to spend them all waiting in the Starbucks line.
She headed down to the parking lot instead, seeing the large black bus parked and her friends standing outside. Poussey waved when she saw her and Nicky, who looked like she'd just rolled out of bed, in a rumpled hoodie and her hair sticking out in twenty different directions, lifted up a cup of coffee in her direction.
"You're the best," Alex came over and took the cup from her gratefully. "Thank God this hotel has a Starbucks," She said, taking a small sip and exhaling happily. "It would've been a very long trip."
"Yeah, we figured you probably wouldn't have time to grab one after last night," Nicky winked. "Did you and Chapman finally-"
"Girl, you know they didn't," Poussey looked disgusted. "Chapman puked all over her shoes, ain't nobody fuckin' anybody after that."
"Since you bought me a coffee, I'm gonna let that slide," Alex replied dryly, looking around. "Speaking of Piper, where is she?"
"On the bus, talking to Red." Nicky shook her head. "Dude, you should be glad you missed her saying good bye to Larry."
"Oh yeah?" Alex tried not to sound too interested. "Why's that?"
"Cuz it was pathetic. Chapman was cool about the whole thing but he cried like a little bitch."
"Seriously?" Alex said incredulously. "No, really, he actually cried?"
"Sure fuckin' did. And he kept sayin' how much he was gonna miss her and how'd he call her every day and to call him when she got to Chicago and how'd he think about her all the time. I was embarrassed for the dude," Poussey exclaimed. "I thought he was gonna get down on all fours and beg her not to go."
"And what did Piper do?"
Nicky eyed her suspiciously. "And you need to know...why?"
Alex shrugged. "Just curious."
"Mhmmm, right," Nicky replied skeptically. "Chapman didn't cry. Not one single tear. She told him she'd miss him too and that was it. If you want the truth, she looked kinda mortified with how he was carryin' on. But sad, no way."
If some small part of Alex found any satisfaction in Nicky's reply, she didn't show it. She managed to smoosh down the smile at the corner of her lips and gave her suitcase to the driver who'd stepped out.
"Let's go," She gestured to the others and they boared the bus.
"Peace out, Missouri. Hope we never fuckin' have to play here again," Nicky muttered as Poussey nudged her. "What? It's the truth and you know it, man."
"Ah, so glad everyone made it on time," Red said as way of greeting from her position at helm of the bus. "Would have been a pity to leave without any of you."
"Please, it's five to 8. You're being dramatic," Nicky rolled her eyes, heading toward the back. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some sleep to catch up on."
Poussey shrugged sheepishly and followed her as Red called after them. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady. You'd be just another spoiled trust fund brat if I hadn't agreed to be your manager." She looked to Piper. "Can you believe the way she talks to me?"
Piper smiled sympathetically and then turned to Alex. "Hey," she ventured.
"Hey," Alex replied. The other woman looked none the worse for wear, although upon closer inspection, she could see the whites of her eyes were a little blood shot. "Can we talk? I wanna go over some stuff for the next gig. We're playing two nights in Chicago."
"Sure," The blonde followed her to a quiet part of the bus, waving to Poussey who was listening to music on her headphones while Nicky had instantly fallen asleep the second the bus driver started the engine, her head resting against Poussey's shoulder, mouth slightly ajar.
They settled in and then there was a silence. Alex tucked her legs underneath herself. "So," she started awkwardly, "How are you feeling?"
"Not too great," Piper admitted. "I had to take five Advil with a gallon of water to go and meet Larry this morning. When he asked why I wasn't eating anything and why I was drinking black coffee, I had to make up some dumb excuse like I was nervous about the rest of the tour."
"Why lie? Why not tell him you just had too much to drink?" As soon as the words left her mouth, Alex regretted them. God, had she not learned from the previous night? What Piper did and didn't do in her life (aside from decisions that involved all of them) was absolutely none of her business. Why couldn't she get that through her head?
Instead of getting defensive, Piper shrugged. "I don't really know. I mean, I guess I didn't want him to think less of me."
Alex figured there was probably more to it than that but she said nothing except "I don't think he'd think less of you, Piper. It's pretty easy to see he's crazy about you."
"Well, do you think less of me?" She questioned softly, meeting Alex's gaze. "I threw up on your shoes. Nicky told me."
"No, I don't," Alex answered honesty. "They're just shoes and God, don't you think I've done things I haven't proud of when I was drinking? We all have. No one is judging you, Piper."
"OK...would you think any less of me if I told you the reason Larry doesn't like when I drink too much is because I was in a bad place before I met him? " The other woman pulled her cardigan closer to her body. "I went to Smith to get away from my parents and ended up moving to Boston."
"I grew up not too far from there," said Alex, shifting uncomfortably. "Damn, clearly they don't make bus seats for tall people."
Piper smiled but it was distant, as if she were miles away. "All I ever wanted, really, was to make music. To sing and write and play...My parents didn't approve, of course. They wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer, something they could brag to their friends about. I think it just made me more determined, you know? Because they were so sure I'd come home with my tail between my legs. So I stayed...but the music scene is hard when you don't know anyone. I worked as a waitess, I barely scraped by to pay rent, there were some nights I didn't eat...that stuff didn't bother me. It was more the fact I was so naive. Like I didn't know people could be so...manipulative." She looked to Alex. "I know what you're probably thinking, poor little rich girl, and you're right. No reason to feel sorry for me. I made stupid mistakes back then."
"I did too," The brunette told her her gently. "Guitar in the back seat, remember?"
Piper shook her head. "No, Alex, I mean really stupid mistakes. I got involved with someone who was no good for me. He had a band and I sang in it but he had a drinking problem. And when he drank, he got violent. You'd think I would've left when he got rough the first time around but I stayed. And it wasn't because I loved him. It was because he had connections in the industry and I knew if I pissed him off, I'd never get anywhere in the city. Not that I didn't think about leaving a million times...running away to LA or New York City or even home to Connecticut a few times when things got really bad. But I was so intent on being someone, I put up with it."
"What happened?" She hoped her eyes didn't betray her anger. How anyone could lay their hands on someone as special as Piper blew her mind. Not that she condoned anyone using their hands to over power someone smaller than them but as Piper told her story, she wanted to kill the bastard.
"He died. He got into a fight with some guy who had a gun...I was relieved actually. I was free but I couldn't get anywhere with music. I played some gigs here and there but not enough to make ends meet and I was about to be evicted. I should've asked for help from someone...my brothers, maybe, if not my parents, but I was just too proud. So one night, I decided it wasn't worth it anymore. I took a handful of leftover Vicodin with some whiskey, laid down on the bed and prayed I wouldn't wake up." She said matter of factly. "And I wouldn't have, if my college roomate hadn't come by and called the cops. We'd had dinner the night before and she was trying to get me to move in with her. When I said no, she offered me money. She was worried, she didn't like the way I looked and she'd come to my apartment. When I didn't answer the door, she knew something was wrong right away. Polly saved my life."
"Shit," Alex was at a loss for words. "God, Piper..."
"I got my stomach pumped and stayed a few days on the psych ward. Polly and her fiancee were so great. They paid all my hospital bills and I moved in with them. When I felt up to it, Pete got me a temp job at his firm. That's when I started to book gigs. I finally could see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I met Larry. He lived next door to Polly and Pete and he was the nicest guy I've ever met. So supportive of my music career and very protective, you know? He knew all about my past and he didn't go running."
"You've been through alot, kid," Alex breathed out shakily. "And here you are..."
"It was a long time ago," She said quietly. "I'm a different person now. That Piper was scared and weak...that's not me anymore. I think that's why I got defensive with you at the bar...I never want anyone to have to take care of me again. But that's not what you were trying to do and I know that now..."
"You are a survivor, Pipes." She flushed. "Sorry, I don't know where "Pipes" came from..."
She laughed and instantly, the joyous sound lightened the mood. "No, I like it." She poked the brunette in the ribs lightly. "Seriously, I've never really had many friends. This is nice. I feel like I could tell you anything."
A warmth coursed through Alex's body and she returned Piper's smile. "Me too. And I'm glad you trusted me."
For a minute, neither spoke. "Hey," The blonde cut in, "I'm kinda bummed I didn't get that tattoo. All of you guys have them."
"I'll take you when you're ready," Alex vowed. "When you really know what you want, deal?" She extended her hand to Piper who took it.
"Deal," She grinned. "You still owe me some stories for yours, you know."
"Right, I forgot," She rolled her eyes. "OK, let me start with the first one..."
