Not surprisingly, after Piper's visit to her room, Alex didn't see or hear from her. After she'd left, the other woman had tried to relax but she'd ended up mindlessly staring at whatever was on The History Channel for hours until she guessed she'd finally nodded off just before sunrise. Thank God they hadn't planned anything for the morning because quite simply, she felt like shit.

Piper's admission had completely startled her. It had been so much easier to dismiss the possibilty that anything could ever happen between them when she was so sure her feelings were one sided. Everything made so much more sense; Piper's cautious flirting, the little looks she shot her when she thought she wasn't looking, the food snatching. She had been oblivious, lost in her own hopeless crush, too blind to see she wasn't the only one with feelings or a crush or lust, whatever Piper happened to label them as.

The next thing she knew, light was streaming in through the curtains. It was already eight and even though she didn't have to be at The Riv until five, she knew she needed to get up and confront the day.

"Coffee," Alex muttered aloud, lumbering out of bed. Coffee was about the only set in stone plan for the day because everything else was just a jumble in her head. Digging around the pile of crap in her suitcase she hadn't bothered to unpack, Alex unearthed a wrinkled pair of black shorts and a black top she never wore (and subsequently had no idea how it got into her suitcase in the first place) and hastily threw them on, the desperation for a caffiene fix winning over vanity.

As she brushed her teeth and her hair, Alex found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror. It was obvious she'd gotten laid last night but there was something more, something about the way her green eyes flashed from behind her glasses. Piper's kiss had rocked her world and the truth was writtwn all over her face. What went on after that would be anybody's guess but they had a show to get through and the next day, they'd be on the bus again. She imagined things would be awkward between them, given the way Piper had run out of the room but it was too soon to tell. All Alex knew, touching her lips lightly, that if Piper hadn't broke away, things probably would have gotten a hell of alot more complicated because she was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to resist the blonde.

Caffiene was vitial to process anything complicated, this was a complete truth she held to be true, so the guitarist finished getting ready and jumped in the elevator.

"What the fuck," Alex said under her breath as it stopped on the 13h floor. Logically, she knew that stopping on floors happened, it was an elevator after all, but she was so completely on edge from everything that had occured earlier, the interruption only served as a further obstacle between her and the fucking coffee she so desperately needed.

"Hey man," The familar voice caused her to look up and she was immediately met with Poussey's signature ear to ear grin. "What's up?"

"Oh hey," Alex was relieved to see her bandmate and not some other hotel guest who would've most likely tried to engage her in conversation (she was so not in the mood). Worse still, it could have been Piper standing there when the doors opened, Piper with her excuses and a dreaded apology. While Alex couldn't make much sense out of what had happened, she definitely knew she wasn't ready to hear any of it.

"I would ask how last night went but I can tell just by lookin' at you how it went," Her friend laughed as they hit the lobby level.

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, the red head. Yeah, it was fine, I guess."

Poussey stared at her and the doors open. "Yeah, I know that look, Vause. Shit went down, didn't it?" She shook her head. "Don't answer that. C'mon, girl, you need coffee."

Taking her by the hand, Poussey pulled her down the block and into a small coffee shop. Ordering for herself and Alex, they sat down with their drinks and bagels at a table tucked into a quiet corner.

"OK," The drummer said once they were settled, "Let's hear it, man."

Alex took a sip of coffee. "No Nick? You guys are attached at the fucking hip lately."

"Yo, this ain't about me. Stop tryin' to change the subject. Don't you think I know you always gonna be doin' that? But if you gotta know, she's still asleep. I texted her to see if she wanted somethin and she said she was sleepin' and to ask her in four hours. Next."

"Shit, you just cut right to the chase, don't you?"

"You gonna tell me what happened or do I gotta guess?"

"Jesus, man, you're in the wrong profession. You should be working as a fucking interrogater for the FBI," Alex grumbled, breaking her bagel into tiny pieces without eating it.

"Obviously somethin' shitty happened cuz you murdering that innocent bagel."

"OK," Alex sighed, resigning herself to the fact Poussey wasn't going to be easily deterred. "So last night, yeah, I went back to Rachel's, that was her name, her apartment. We had sex, it was fine and she fell asleep. I took a cab back to the hotel. I showered and I was just staring to eat that burger Nick left when someone knocked on the door. This was around one."

"I'm gonna just take one guess," Poussey jumped in. "Chapman?"

"How'd you know?"

"Fuck man, you should've seen her when you left with that girl. She got all moody and wouldn't really talk to nobody. When her food came, she ate like three bites and said she had a headache and was goin' back to her room to lie down."

"Shit," Alex exhaled sharply. "Well, that explains alot then. Yeah, Piper knocked on my door and she said I was right about her questioning things with Larry. We'd had kind of a fight earlier about him laying down a fucking guilt trip." She intentionally left out that he'd pressured Piper to set a wedding date. It was her decision when to tell them.

"He's bein' a fuckin' prick about the whole thing," Poussey agreed vehemently, taking a large bite of her own bagel. "She didn't tell you she's leavin', did she? Is that why you look like someone just told you you gotta take a vow of celibacy or some shit?"

Alex shook her head. "No, no, she's not leaving. No, uh...she told me she was confused. And I was the one who was confusing her."

"How so?"

"Like...she had all these...feelings for me, feelings she didn't understand. And when we met, when we shook hands, that was when she felt it. So yeah..." Alex swept her glasses to the top of her head, rubbing her eyes.

"Ah, Vause," Poussey put a hand on her forearm."This is a good thing! You feel the same way. Now y'all can stop with all the sexual tension y'all got goin' on and-"

"That's not everything though," Alex interrupted. "She kissed me."

"For real?"

"Yeah. She leaned over and grabbed my face and she kissed me. And maybe I should've stopped it. Mayve it was just because she was feeling confused and vunerable...but she kissed me and I wanted it. I think I wanted it more than I've ever wanted anything except for this band to make it." She put her head down toward the table top, tracing spilled sugar crystals with the edges of her fingertips. "Am I a terrible person?"

"For what? For wanting someone who you think's off limits?" Poussey asked kindly. "No, man. You're human. The heart wants what it wants and sometimes there ain't no stopping it." She paused. "How was it? That's the real question."

"The kiss?" Alex looked up. "Amazing. And you know I don't say that lightly. Probably the best fucking kiss I've ever had in my life."

"Damn," Poussey pursed her lips. "Didn't think Chapman had it in her."

"Neither did I."

They were both quiet for a minute. "So what are you gonna do?"

Alex shrugged. "Not much I can do. She obviously thinks it was a mistake. She ran out of my room like there was a fire. Maybe she was just trying it on for size, you know? Straight girls do that."

"Do you really think she's like that though?" replied Poussey thoughtfully. "I mean I don't know her that well yet but I can usually read people and I don't think she's playin' games like that, man."

"Me either. But there's this small part of me that kind of wants it to be just this like...confusion or experimental thing. Because anything real? If Piper has real feelings for me? I don't know if I can handle it," She admitted. "And maybe that makes me a giant fucking pussy but it's the truth."

"Why? Cuz Alex Vause doesn't do relationships?"

"No," she said softly, "Because I have feelings for her too. And it's scary as hell and confusing...and complicated, Poussey. It's so fucking complicated. It's better if it's not real."

"You don't really believe that. I know what happened with Morello and Nicky. I was there. But that don't mean every straight girl is gonna dick you around...feelings are feelings."

"That's not just it. Yeah, that's a concern. Then there's the fact she's engaged to someone else and I'm not about to be the person who fucking homewrecks...even if the said person in question is a manipulative asshole."

Poussey sighed. "So what's the real reason you wouldn't be willin' to give it a shot if Chapman is?"

"This band. For ten fucking years, I've worked my ass off to get us here. We all have. Morello almost fucked it up for everyone and I won't do it. I refuse to put you guys in that position again if things got shot to shit. This is my life."

"It ain't much of a life if you can't be with who you want," The drummer said. "Look, Vause, life is fuckin' short. I've never seen you this into anyone. And I've known you for what, five years now? She smiled. "You need to do what makes you happy in this fucked up world, son. Cuz you don't wanna have regrets."

Alex stood up and downed the rest of her coffee. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll see you at sound check. And thanks, man. For listening. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear."

As the day went on, Alex thought about calling Piper about million times. To know what she was thinking about, to see if she was OK, to confirm she was overanalyzing the shit out of everything like she was. Resisting the urge was almost impossible, so Alex did everything she could possible do to taper it down. She went for a run. She went out for sushi with Nicky (who she managed to distract with a comedic retelling of her night with Rachel), she tried to read a book in the park. Nothing she did though could keep her mind from repeating Piper's words on a loop on her brain.

The second five o'clock loomed, Alex jumped in the rental and made the short drive to The Riviera, rushing into the stage door with a quick hello to the doorman.

The dressing room, though not as nice as the one at The Fox, was spacious and she quickly hung up her outfit and picked her make up mirror to put down her kit. The room was still and she basked in thw quiet while she could, closing her eyes.

"Hey," A soft voice cut through the quiet and Alex opened her eyes to see Piper put down her things at the make up station next to her.

"Hey." The other woman looked uncertain and for once in her life, Alex really didn't know what to say.

"I was hoping you'd be here," Piper began, sitting down.

"You were?"

"Yeah...I mean, the way we left things. Well, the way I left things." The blonde shook her head apologetically. "I kind of just left without any explanations. I'm not the type of person who just goes around throwing themselves at people. Especially my bandmate."

"I didn't think that's what you were doing, Piper."

"Well, I just want to let you know-"

"God, please don't say you're sorry. Or that you shouldn't have come to my room,' Alex blurted suddenly, standing up so fast she nearly knocked the chair over. "Because honestly," She forced herself to look Piper in the eyes, her heart pounding wildly. "I'm not."

"You're not?" The other woman stood too but didn't move.

"Hell no. I mean...are you?"

The singer's blue eyes were bright. "No. Not one bit. I wanted it," She admitted quietly. "I wanted it so badly, it scared the shit out of me."

"Piper," Alex said gently. "You know we can't do this, right?'"

"Don't you want me?" Piper bit her lower lip and Alex nearly lost it, nearly said fuck it all, fuck the band, and fuck Larry, and fuck every bit of common sense she had left and took Piper into her arms.

"That's not the issue," She managed in a strangled voice. "Because anybody would be crazy not to want you. You're sexy and you're smart and talented as hell...but it's not a good idea, Pipes. Not at all and I don't have to spell out the reasons for you."

"I know and maybe you're right but my instincts...I can't pretend I don't feel what I feel."

"I know. And God, I fucking wish this was under different circumstances." Alex clutched the make up counter with the backs of her hands, her sweat making her momentarily lose her grip.

Piper let out a deep, resigned sigh. "Can we talk about this after the show?"

"I don't think there's much left to talk about but yes," The guitarist said. "We can talk after the show."

"Good," Piper nodded. "Good. Because I don't think we're done here, Al, I really don't. I love Larry, I do but there's something here I can't ignore and we've got to figure it out."

Authors Note: Thanks so far to everyone who took the time so far to read, follow, and review! It means the world to me as a writer so thank you, thank you, thank you!

To the reviewer who commented Alex is very OOC, thank you for your constructive criticism. I do understand where you're coming from but since this story is an AU and not cannon, I felt I could take some liberties with Alex. My Alex is coming from a slightly more vunerable, cynical place in the love department than show Alex. There are subtle differences between my AU Alex and cannon Alex for sure . Same with Pipes. Our girl is a little less decisive and alot more rash as written than my version of her. I do appreciate your input though!